Applehorse · 1:57am Oct 26th, 2017
Story idea: Applejack is cursed by Discord to be gorgeous.
At first, she doesn't see how it's a curse. Then all the suitors start showing up in her yard.
"I swear to goodness, Twilight!" Applejack shouted, waving her hoof in front of her. "If I hear one more stanza from some fancy unicorn wannabe poet comparing my mane to spun gold, I'm gonna kill somepony."
"It's really that bad?" Twilight asked, sitting up straighter in her chair.
"I'm tellin' ya!" Applejack snorted and shook her head. "It's like the whole of Canterlot descended on my lawn."
"Well..." Twilight thought about it a moment. "If all the unicorn suitors are bothering you, why not just date an earth pony then?"
"Eeeh. I don't know." Applejack waved a hoof. "I feel like I could do better, you know?"
Twilight stared.
Slowly, a look of horror dawning on her face, Applejack covered her mouth with her hoof.
*with conceptual assistance by Ether Echoes
This needs a correction:
There.
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Yes. All that yes.
Yeah I want the full-length oneshot version now too. Who's up for writing it? I'd volunteer if people didn't mind waiting a week or two, and I feel someone else can totally do a better job.
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Hahaha you son of a bitch.
Curious to see what applejack would actually be into. I'm always up for racist AJ too.
You fellas get off the lawn, and go home...
So you won't go eh.
"Big Mac, go sic, em !"
So this is backstory to season 1?
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Applejack stood in the middle of Ponyville, stiff as a statue. She didn't dare move a muscle, and though her face was as still as the rest of her, her expression was stricken.
"Applejack!" Twilight called, her voice full of concern. "What's wrong?"
"I can't move," Applejack said through gritted teeth.
Twilight gasped. "You mean, you're paralyzed?"
"No no. I can move. I just... I shouldn't move. Okay?" Applejack's tone turned short. "I'll just stand here until everypony goes home."
"Applejack..." Twilight sighed. "I'm your friend, you know I can't accept that answer. What's wrong? Can you just... try moving?"
Applejack signed. Then she did something terrible. She shook her head. Her mane tumbled behind her, flowing and bright, pooling around her shoulders and draping about her enticing features. It flicked across her back, resting across the bright hairs of her coat, the longest strand from her main just barely touching the base of her tail. The gold sparkled in the sunlight, as did her brilliant eyes. Twilight couldn't help but stare.
And then, Applejack did another terrible thing. She knew she shouldn't, but the urge overpowered her. She'd been standing still for so long, she had to stretch -- to arch her back, to lift her beautiful tail high into the air and to pull herself forward, to crack every joint and to work every muscle in her taut and athletic form. To emphasize the smooth and supple curves that made her, in every way, perfect.
Twilight cleared her throat. "No, uh... well. Um. I see what you were getting at, AJ. But you know, you shouldn't be ashamed of your body! I think you can move. I think you can move around all you like, even. And if ponies are staring in public, you could always come back to the castle with me and -- hey, wait! AJ! Come back!"
Twilight could only watch as AJ let out a sharp, angry nicker and stormed back off to her farm. "Come on, AJ!" she called. "Hate to see you leave but love to watch you go!"
After a moment, Twilight corrected: "I mean, uh. It's not like that!"
>implying Applejack is not already gorgeous
4708178 Didn't you basically already write that story?
I mean, this is just "if Applejack had Fan Service's cutie mark and all that came with it," right?
(Not that I wouldn't read more about Fan Service in a hot second.)
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...I mean. Yes.
I'm not creatively bankrupt. You're creatively bankrupt.
Please write this. Even if you wrote it in the past already. I so need to read it. Specially how Rarity would be about it. Jealous? Interested? Absurdly over dramatic? All three at the same time? And Twilight? The other princesses? I NEED TO READ THAT!!!
Yes. So much yes.
1999999% yes.
All the yes.
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Right. You two need to stop on here and just go write this already!
~Skeeter The Lurker
And when they finally corner Discord...
"But I didn't do anything! Not really." Discord extended his feathered wing, magical glitter dripping off of the feathers. "Don't you see, Applesmack? The beauty was in you the whole time!"
"It's just like I've always told you, darling!" Rarity gushed.
Applejack narrowed her glittering, emerald orbs in an expression that all-too-briefly hit a point of smouldering, half-lidded sultriness that would reduce any stallion to a babbling wreck. Then it kept going until it just looked like she was going to strangle someone, hooves or no hooves. "Were you in on this?"
"Wha— Moi? Oh no no no no no no no! You must believe me, Applejack, while I wholeheartedly approve of this change—"
Discord tilted his head back and smirked. "Always nice to be appreciated."
"I assure you, I had no prior knowledge, no expectations, and certainly no camera crews on standby for your glorious debut."
Applejack hefted one immaculately sculpted eyebrow skyward. "What was that last part?"
"YES!" Photo Finish burst out of a nearby shrub, holding up a camera in triumph. "Photography is over! I have killed it! No shots could ever outdo these!" Everyone stared at her for a few seconds. "I go."
You pushed this train off the cliff, now you need to ride it to the bottom.
...but this is already true?
(That'd be my take on it, anyway.)
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This is turning into a story that's entirely continuations-in-comments without the actual story ever being written, isn't it?