How I Would Do The MLP Movie (Warning: LOTS of Text) · 3:13am Oct 23rd, 2017
So, I did see the movie and I thought it was okay. Nothing groundbreaking and I would see it maybe another time in the future, especially if there was added stuff on DVD/Blueray, but I’d say at best it was an average film. What was great was the world building, the fight scenes, the movie’s characters, and the art. Holy shit is the art great and worth it just to see the movie once.
The downside? The plot. No, not that plot, I mean the storyline. I predicted it all without any shocks what so ever. I’ll admit that the stories for MLP aren’t as good as they used to be episode wise, and I had hoped they would put all their effort into making the story good. Granted, it was for little kids and as far as little kids movies go its fine as a story, but I was disappointed because of how predicable it would be.
So, I decided to put out what I would do if I was the one who would decide the plot of the story. It most likely would never have happened this way, for more reasons than one, but let me explain what I would have done. Be prepared, it’s a lot to read:
The Story would have started out actual with the villains, in which we see Tempest moving through the bad guy’s fortress in a place known as The Shadow World. We see how she is with her character, tough, commanding, and serious while bullying around Grubber who is her “assistant” which I would have made a counter to Twilight’s relationship with Spike. While Twilight treats Spike like family and cares greatly for him, Tempest treats Grubber horribly and demands everything from. While Spike obeys with love in his heart for Twilight as a friend and his guardian, Grubber does so out of fear. We would see her bow before her “Master” saying that the preparations are ready and she will be blending in with the Ponies to sabotage their defenses for the surprise attack. She asks if she will finally have what she wants most, her horn restored, and revenge against Twilight Sparkle (You Will Read Why). The villain reveals himself as not The Storm King, but Grogar the Necromancer.
Why would I make Grogar the villain instead of The Storm King? For one, he has an actual name. Two, Grogar would be a good call back to the original series where he was considered the second most evil being next to Tirek of the old generation. Three, The Storm King is just Tirek 2.0, but sillier and I didn’t really enjoy him as a villain. Fourth, having him control an army of the dead is more of a scary thing as a villain. As for his voice actor? Kevin Michael Richardson or Frank Welker is who I would pick.
After the Title and opening credits, we then cut to to the preparations in Canterlot for The First World Friendship Festival. Every character we’ve seen in the show would get appearance here, even a camo one or in the background. I also would not have limited to this just for ponies but show delegates and the leaders from other nations such as Throax of the Changelings and Ember of the Dragons. All the celebrate the friendships Equestria has formed with one another and each other. We would see pretty much what we saw in the opening of the movie, the mane six showing up and doing their thing while singing. After some comedy, and learning Discord isn’t coming because his dimension bumped into anothers and he’s cleaning it up, we would have a seen where Twilight would bump into a cloaked Tempest and apologizing, but Tempest just glaring at her and walks away. That night, Twilight talks to Princess Celestia about how much she’s changed since becoming a student and how much her friends depend on her. Princess Celestia says that she depends on them just as much as they depend on her.
The Celebrations then begin, we have some comedy and Grubber trying to get some food when he meets Spike who buys it for him. He introduces himself and the two have a nice moment before he leaves. Just as Songbird Serenade is ready to sing, giant green portals appear with war airships before assaulting the city with canon fire, magic and armored troops. The troops containing the ones we saw in the movie, but also a special kind of green glowing troops that even when hit with a spear keep coming back. Princess Celestia and Princess Luna realizes that it’s none other than Grogar The Necromancer and try to protect the city. However, Tempest and her troops manage to destroy the shield defenses and barracks of the guards. Tempest goes toe to toe with Twilight, assisted by Starlight, tries to fight the unicorn but she matches them both and even physically assaults them. She uses an Obsidian Orb to try and turn Twilight to Stone, saying she has waited a long time for this moment, but Starlight takes the blow and is turn into stone. Ponies and leaders are turned to stone as well, until the Storm King himself arrives and begins to use his staff which allows him to steal souls from the bodies of those around him and increase his power. Cadance gives Flurry Heart to Shining Armor and encourages him to flee towards the Crystal Empire to gather their armies to help save Canterlot. However, to everyone’s horror, she soon has her soul taken and is left a husk while Grogar says “One down, three more to go”. With no other choice, Celestia and Luna combine their magic to teleport them, Twilight, Spike, and her friends outside of Canterlot to Ponyville where they witness the city’s conquest.
That night, the sisters give the story of Grogar. He was dark magic user who sought the forbidden magic of necromancy, the abilty to control the spirtis of the dead. Taping into the powers of the Nether Realm, he could slowly control nations by using their own dead against him. The entire world united itself to banish him to the Shadow World where he remained locked and sealed into The Shadow World using the Book Of Ancients, a book that was made in the early days of magic which holds the most powerful spells in the world. With the leaders of the Dragons, Changelings, Griffins, Zebras, and Yaks turned to stone and held hostage to prevent retaliation, they need to seek the help of others to free Equestria. Princess Celestia and Luna task Twilight and her friends to find seek help from the last powerful civilization that can help them, the ones entrusted with the task to guard the Book of Ancients, The Sea Ponies of Merantis, once thought to be a myth since they haven’t been seen in three thousand years, if they even exist anymore. The group agrees, as Princess Celestia and Luna will stay in Equestria to lead a resistance against Grogar and prevent him from following them. If he gets his hands on all four adult Alicorn souls he will be invincible. The others swear to do everything they can to protect Twilight.
Back in Canterlot, we see one of the ponies the girls know (Trixie, Big Mac, Cheerliee, take your pick) who is brought before Grogar who is making a fine use of the throne room. All resistance in Canterlot has been stopped and he is in full control, those who were turned to stone are in the dungeons being guarded but unharmed and Cadance’s body is on display in a glass casket for de-moraling the ponies. He demands, in front of Tempest and Grubber, where the Princesses would go and after ripping their soul out while putting it back in their body, they are told Ponyville. Tempest vows to lead the assault on the town herself, but Grogar tasks her with following Twilight Sparkle. He knows that the only way to defeat him now is if they use the Ancient Book, which he wants destroyed so he can remain free. He will deal with the sisters himself. Grubber asks Tempest if she really is feeling this serious of betraying her own kind with Tempest saying they betrayed her first and she feels nothing for them, ordering him to be silent.
Days later, the girls arrive on the deserts past the Badlands and arrive at Klugetown, a town that holds an ancient library that Twilight believes will help them find some means of where the Sea Ponies are. They arrive, meeting the locals and almost get in trouble but are saved by Capper, a con artist and thief, who helps the girls escape with some clever skills. He says the library is closed to all except those who can pay for it, but Capper knows a way inside if they give him something in return. Twilight gives up her crown, worth quite a price, and Capper agrees to help them by taking them to the Thieves Guild. After another song and dance number, Rarity fixes Capper’s coat as a thank you, when he asks what she wants in return she says nothing, saying it’s a gift. Capper says he never had someone give him a gift before and is moved by her generosity. The leader of the thieves guild gives them the means to enter the Library, but Twilight only takes her, Capper, Spike, and Applejack with her. The girls spend the night there, however, everyone but Twilight, Spike, and AJ are captured in their sleep.
After lying about how the girls went out to enjoy the sights, something Applejack catches onto, they head to the Library and, after avoiding guards and traps, find a book. However, Spike trips an alarm and they have an epic escape with the ponies saving Capper’s life despite it being better for them if they had left him to be captured. However, before they can return to the Guild, Capper has them take a detour where they witness Tempest, Grubber, and some of their men enter the guild where they see the others are held captive. Since Twilight isn’t with them, Tempest tells the Guild Master to put them in the pit with the monsters and they drag them away and await the others return since she wants the book for her master to find and destroy Merantis. Applejack accuses Capper of lying and setting them up and he admits he was going to since the Thieves Guild decided to take the bounty that was put on them by Grogar, but admits he changed his mind due to how they treated him with friendship, something he never had. He says he has a plan though.
The girls captured are taken to the pit where they have three giant sized monsters to deal with. Meanwhile, Capper returns with the three captured in his magic proof rope as Tempest rewards him and has them taken to the cells. Applejack tries to wrestle down a few guards as well as Capper, losing her hat in the process, but is subdued with Capper mocking her before putting that hat back on. When AJ and Spike share the same cell, AJ reveals her hat hid the keys which Capper stole from the guards during the fight and hid them in AJ’s hat. Meanwhile, Twilight, in her cell, demands why Tempest is doing this and she tells Twilight she ruined her life. Twilight says she never met her, but Tempest explains.
When she was a filly, she had everything, a family, friends, and was talented in magic. So talented that she went to Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns and was the top of her class. However, the day the Sonic Rainboom was seen all throughout Equestria was also the day that Twilight’s magic went berserk. The cause of it managed to loosen a large enough rock that shattered her horn. Despite trying everything, her horn could not be repaired and she was forced to quit the academy. Her friends also abandoned her when her broken horn caused her magic to be out of control and dangerous. All she had left was her family, but that was taken from her as she struggle to control a spell she wanted to learn and caused her house to catch on fire. She escaped… but her parents didn’t. With nothing left, she left Canterlot and was assumed to have died in the fire. She traveled a long way until she reached a mountain far in the distance that held a strange gate, her magic reacted to it and it opened the pathway to the Shadow World. There she met her master, Grogar, who offered to restore her horn and become his apprentice if he served her. She has done so and learned the realities of the world, that you can only look after yourself, friendship is a lie, power is everything and you should rise above all to seek it, and revenge is sweet.
I hate the fact they did the stupid redeemed unicorn thing again. We had three of those. We had enough. Let’s a villain stay a damn villain. Plus, doing this kind of backstory would have made her a sympathetic villain still, as this is a person who became bad because she lost everything due to a freak accident. Plus, the fact that Twilight caused all this to her and is rewarded with a great life while she suffered only helps their relationship as enemies.
Continuing onward, despite RD, PP, and Rarity’s best efforts they cannot defeat the monsters until Fluttershy uses the stares and has them help her and her friends escape. During the commotion, Grubber even almost gets killed by debris until Spike saves him, he asks why but Spike just leaves before answering. AJ manages to free herself with Spike and save Twilight, the seven of them escaping towards the docks where they hide in some crates before they are taken into an airship.
Meanwhile, Princess Celestia and Luna prepare themselves to fight against Grogar. It’s an epic fight as the two sisters work together and use everything to fight against him and his army, almost even winning until Grogar uses an underhanded tactic of using their subjects as shields and forces them to surrender, taking their souls as well as Ponyville falls into tears.
The girls get out of the crates and end up fighting some pirates until they are stopped by Captain Celaeno, who RD challenges to a duel so they can stay on board. They fight and Dash wins, Celaeno honoring their agreement as the ponies are welcomed. Pinkie and Dash help make friends easy with a party and there is another song and dance, even RD doing a sonic rainboom (seriously that scene was mt fav) which captures Tempest’s attention a distance away. When they read the book and tell Captain Celaeno they need to head to a certain island to find the Sea Ponies, Captain Celaeno agrees, always wanting to see if they existed or not. That night, Twilight tells Pinkie Pie about what happened with Tempest and wonders if things would have been different if she hadn’t activated her magic. Pinkie points out that because of her magic Twilight’s done so much good, including having them as friends. Pinkie and Twilight hug as morning comes and they see the island. However, Tempest and her airship have caught up and begin to fire at the pirates. Despite their best efforts, the ship is hit with a Obsidian Orb, turning to stone and the ship makes a crash landing, separating Twilight, her friends, and the pirates from each other. The girls hit the water and sink into what appears to be their doom, but they are soon saved by shadows in the water.
Tempest sets down and captures and injured Twilight as she sends Grubber to look for the others. He finds no sign of survivors until he finds an, alive but hurt, Spike who is unconscious. Realizing he owes him so much, he lies to Tempest saying they’re all dead much to Twilight’s heartbreak as she gives up. Tempest takes her to the ship while Grubber sneaks Spike onboard. On board, Tempest mocks Twilight for her defeat, stating she’s gotten everything she’s ever wanted, she took Twilight’s friends, her home, and now she’ll take her life. Twilight tells Tempest that she’s sorry for what she went through, but its no excuse for what she’s doing to others. Tempest tells her that it’s every mare for themselves, and tells her to wake up and see it for what it’s worth. Meanwhile, Grubber wakes up Spike and helps heal him. He tells him what’s happened and Spike cries for his lost friends while wanting to save Twilight, but too injured to help. Grubber asks why he would risk himself and be kind to Grubber after all he helped do, but Spike says Twilight taught him it was better to make your enemies as friends because they need kindness in their lives. Grubber says nobody’s ever done that for him.
Meanwhile, the girls wake up in a nice room where they think they died at first and gone to heaven, but realize they are now having fins and gills instead of halos and are breathing underwater. They are in Merantis, having been rescued by the sea ponies who greet them openly lead by Princess Skystar who has always wanted to see the outside world. They are taken to Queen Novo who welcomes them and hears their story, however, she states the Book of Ancients shall not leave Merantis as she uses it to protect them and they will stay in Merantis forever to keep their secret save. Despite exploring the city and enjoying it, the girls know they need to return to Twilight and try to convince Novo to let them go with Pinkie Pie having a party and dance to show the outside world. However, Novo says no still. The girls then ask if they can at least be ponies again to go save Twilight, but Novo again denies them. However, that night Princess Skystar agrees to help them, having stolen the Book of Ancients, because Pinkie’s performance makes her want to see the outside world. They arrive back on the island, changing back into ponies as Skystar struggles with hooves, and find Captain Celaeno and the pirates much to their joy. Working together, they are able to fix the airship and make head for Equestria.
Meanwhile, Twilight is paraded through Canterlot in defeat, a villain song playing as she passes by the three glass caskets for the other alicorns, a fourth empty one prepared for her. She stands before Grogar who asks if she has any final words. Twilight notices the statue of her and her friends together and gets the courage to give a rousing speech to all the ponies, saying that one mare doesn’t make the power of friendship, but everyone connected by it does. All of them, together, are the strongest magic in the world and will always shine no matter how dark. Her soul is then taken from her as Grogar rewards Tempest with a new horn and the villains celebrate. We get a sad scene of Spike crying at Twilight’s casket and Grubber says there might be a way to bring her back.
The group arrives at Ponyville, learning what has happened, and feels the situation is unwinnable, but Pinkie says that Twilight and the alicorns wouldn’t want them to give up and everyone volunteers to take down the Necromancer once and for all lead by a returning Shining Armor with the Crystal Empire’s army. While Grogar rests, Spike and Grubber sneak into his room and take his staff, intending to use it to return Twilight’s soul to her body. However, they get caught and chased by Tempest who accuses Grubber of being a traitor, but he says he’s not being a traitor, but being a friend. Meanwhile, Ponyville’s assault as begun. Using the power of the Book of Ancients they are able to go toe to toe with the undead army as the pirates, Skystar, and a returning Capper help out. The Canterlot citizens also soon join in the fight as a city-wide brawl takes place. Tempest is then stopped by the pony who was integrated earlier in the story, allowing Grubber and Spike to use the staff to bring Twilight’s soul back to her body. However, Grubber and Spike are hit with an Obsidian Orb. Furious, Twilight fights Tempest one on one again.
Even without his staff, Grogar proves more than a match for everyone, but they are the saved by the army of the Sea Ponies who arrive with Novo leading them. She chastises Skystar for doing this, but Skystar says that she needs to follow her heart and help her friends. Novo realizes they have no choice now and orders her army to attack. Twilight returns, her friends hugging her as they deal with both Grogar and Tempest together. However, before they can seal him, Grogar manages to knock the Book of Ancients away and tries to attack Twilight’s friends while Tempest goes to destroy the book. Forced to make a choice, Twilight chooses to save her friends using a powerful shield spell that knocks the staff away from Grogar, but the book is destroyed and Twilight’s horn breaks off. Furious that her friends are still with Twilight despite her horn broken while she suffered, she uses the last of her Obsidian Orbs to try and turn them to stone, however Derpy, just because, throws a muffin at her face that forces her to miss and hit Grogar instead to her shock.
While mouring over the loss of her mentor and master, Twilight tries to appeal to Tempest to surrender and learn friendship, saying she’ll do everything in her power to help her. Tempest, however, denies her and steals the staff, using its power to attack combined with her own. Grogar’s stone statue is destroyed in the process of the fight, killing him, but Tempest absorbs his soul to grow even more powerful. However, working together, they managed to shove Twilght’s broken horn into the crystal, destroying it. The crystal shatters as all the souls it held are free to return to their bodies or ascend into the afterlife. The enemy army crumbles, but a portal to the Nether Realm opens, threatening to swallow them. Twilight’s friends save her, as well as the returning alicorns, and she tries to save Tempest who tries to take her down as well. However, she slips and Tempest is swallowed into the Nether Realm forever before it closes. The day is won and there is a short celebration, but Twilight then realizes Spike is still a statue as are the others. However, Twilight believes she can help them as she uses her magic to try and fix Spike and Grubber. The girls and soon everyone concentrate and lend their magic together as a wave of warm rainbow energy sweeps across the city and turns everyone who was stone back to normal as Spike and Twilight hug while Spike introduces the girls to his new friend Grubber. Discord happens to arrive at last and says it was a heck of a pain to fix his dimension but he hopes he hasn't missed the festival. He looks at the destruction and starts complaining that they did the chaos without him.
With everything back to normal, the First World Friendship Celebration is repaired and continues with their new friends in the celebration. Twilight, her horn back on her head with Discord's help, and her friends give a final speech about friendship, coming together, and blah blah blah before Songbird Serenade sings her song and we get the closing credits with dancing.
The end
Holy shit that took so long to write. Yeah, that’s what I would have done. I don’t know if I’ll make this idea fanfic or a comic series or what. Maybe not, I don’t know. Tell me what you guys think.
Honestly, I thought that the movie as-is was FANTASTIC, and didn't need any changes to improve.
At least, none that would improve it significantly.
Heck, it's become my favorite animated movie of all time.
Tempest beat season 5 Starlight for the title of "best villain" to me, and Open Up Your Eyes, Time To Be Awesome, and Friend You Need are among my favorite G4 songs.
I honestly quite agree. The overall story of the movie was pretty predictable, to the point of which my friends, my sister, and I were all just pointing out every cliche moment that we saw in the movie just for kicks.
But your version of the movie...
Hasbro needs to hire a certain somebody onto their story team...
In all seriousness, I already like your version more.
Quite honestly I really never had nor do I have any motivation to watch the movie anytime soon. Pretty much every MLP villain uses the formula:
- Villain is introduced
- They get some kind of introduction and cause some problems
- Any kind of authority (usually the Princesses) suffer the Worf Effect and are neutralized or written out quickly and effortlessly
- The heroes do something stupid that allows the villain to further get the upper hand
- The villain gets overconfident and makes their own stupid mistakes
- This allows some kind of Deus Ex Machina to defeat the villain instantly.
How much of those points does the movie check off? What makes it so different from any other finale apart from the fact that it's a movie?
Admittedly, I’m still a sucker for
Fizzlepop BerrytwistTempest Shadow. I would keep her redemption arc because moar waifus, and the Storm King just so he can be the one to pick up the staff after Grogar’s death and then be sucked into the Nether Realm. But how do we keep him in the movie if Grogar is the actual king? Easy... make him look a little younger and Grogar’s son (and making him more like a ram). I think Storm Prince is a more fitting name given his immature behavior in the movie. He would be prone to extreme emotions and would turn on Tempest for petrifying Grogar. When Storm Prince attacks her, Twilights comes in to protect Tempest, shaking her “every mare for herself” philosophy.So a massive overhaul is your approach... yeah while this might work more for us adults in the fanbase... but as soon as you had Grogar rip Cadance's soul out of her body... not really a good idea for a family-friendly film (got to remember the target demographic is young girls) and then having her body on display... yeah there are certain things Disney will never put its name or Pixar's to even though it owns the studio that made it.
Myself, I say let's work with what we have been given.
Here are my edits. 1st up we have a scene where establish the Strom King as both a threatening and comical villain, like in the comics, but here he takes over the city the Mane 6 and Spike go to, in it he speaks to a cloaked figure (Tempest) and tells her, she has seven days to get him what she promised.
No real changes, save the other species and leader of Equestria are there, at least in cameo appearances (maybe five of the Six Legendary Pillars as well in a blink and you'll miss them). During the pitch, Celestia points out that Twilight waited six days then the lighting she wants will occur by itself. During this Fluttershy explains why Discord can't attend.
Tempest's reveal, but she's cloacked and when Luna challenges she uncloaks herself throwing a dozen of those petrification grenades and her ship opens fire firing barrages of said grenades. Only to be joined by the rest of the cloaked armada catching everyone off guard, petrifying most of the guard, many dragons, etc. Celestia, Cadance, and Luna barely hold back shielding Twilight, Celestia gives her 'find the queen of the hippo...' to Twilight before all three are petrified.
No real changes save, everyone not petrified helping provide Twilight and the mane 6 an escape.
No real changes again until Capper's home, in that we have Capper reveals his story (incorporating the prequeal comics) after a comment about him not having any signs of having friends over, Fluttershy hugs him saying it's okay, we are glad to be your friends, etc, this before Rarity fixes his jacket (in short Fluttershy's kindness and Rarity's generosity are the core of his heel-to-face turn when Tempest asks for where the seven were heading).
No real changes until at the Parpirates table, during in, we learn of the origins of Celeano with a reference to Capper backstabbing them made by Applejack, she asks they know him and ask how is he, (incorporating more of the prequel comics). Applejack then gets them to be honest with themselves (is cargo hauler the life yah want, Sugarcube?), they acknowledge no. Then 'It's time to be Awesome' (basically AJ and RD are responsible for Celeano and crew's joining them),
No real changes after that then maybe a few, 'How have you been?' when Capper is on Celeano's boat while Tempest searches.
No real changes again until meeting the seaponies, there include more of Tempest's part in the siege of the Hippogrph's home.
No real changes again until Twilight is captures, Tempest makes a comment about the cage, something like 'adaminitine, it's a pain to work into anything but magic is useless against it.'
We go to the rest and we find a means for them to return to Equestria.
no major changes again save for showing that the Storm King is still menancing.
And more or less thats all the changes I'd make.
I get you critisims, but we have to remember who the target audiance is for both the show and the movie. Your idea would work for au, but not the show proper, at least not this generation, maybe gen 5
Impressive. I just wonder though, how does Twilight get her horn back after it breaks?
I love this! Please make a fanfic out of this! I'd read the hell out of it!
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I forgot to put down that Discord arrives after everything helps fix it up. My bad.
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I know, which is why I figured it could never have worked as a movie, just something I would wish
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it could work as a movie, just not in FiM canon as it currently stands maybe gen 5
Interesting as it sounds. I could understand why they did the predictable route. The last movie Hasbro did was the animated transformers movie (from the animated series) and they did a plot twist there that a lot of people didn't like. Optimus Prime dying. That angered a lot of fans. Or at least that's what I heard. I wasn't born when that movie came out.
You predicted Twilight would try to steal the Pearl of Transformation? That actually surprised me a little.
It's interesting how some minor details can change an entire perspective on a product.
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I knew there was going to be some kind of fight between them and I figured she would betray her friends in someway or use them
Yes! now go sell your idea to Hasbro.
The pirate airship got hit by an obsidian orb, it's been turned to stone, and it's at the bottom of the ocean...
I like your version better. But, can you or anyone else think of any way to make it more kid-friendly?
a little late here, but while i like some of what was done here, there are problems
1. this is too dark for an MLP movie, even by the acceptable standards of upping the stakes for the movie this is too much. Death of non villains if something the show had clearly put its foot down on. There also isn't enough levity to even the tone out appropriately.
2. Tempest isn't fixed here. If anything she's made worse. Tempest has a horrible accident ruin her life, but just like Starlight in cannon, its clear she's still throwing a tantrum about something that happened as a child. Her lack of perspective takes her from sympathetic to just regular pathetic. Not redeeming her also undercuts the mild take that to edgelord designs and names that was the movies best joke.
3. No one other than Grubber has an arc. Twilight in the movie had an arc. Your main character needs some kind of an arc.
That's all, but those three are pretty major.
Now what about the Pilliars of Equestria?
Why not write this story yourself? I'm sure you'd do a good job?