MLP Movie Review · 8:08am Oct 13th, 2017
So I watched the MLP Movie last night and... Ugh, okay, let's just get this over with. Be warned there will obviously be spoilers here, and this will in no way be a positive review... Very much bitching will be happening here.
So the whole movie, to sum it up, is big-lipped-aligator-moment: the movie. Literally 90% of the movie is pointless. No advancement to the plot, no relevant characters or items obtained, literally no reason it needs to be in there at all.
So we start off in Canterlot where some festival is going on and Twilight is being her usual dorky self. She's fired by the other princesses and goes to meet up with her friends... and some idol with bangs covering her eyes. Well they're certainly building up THIS character for something big. Can't wait to see what she and her Pulp Fiction/MIB bodyguards do in the future.
So a storm arises along with an airship and lands in Canterlot, declares war on Equestria, and petrifies three of the four princesses. Say, something seems to be missing here. Oh yeah, THE ROYAL GUARD!
Among the villains we have Zuko as a mare, and one of Stitch's disowned cousins.
Did Celestia just... dissolve her entire military the night before this happened? Are they all on vacation right now? Why is there not a SINGLE soldier fighting back this invading force? Celestia tells Luna to go get help and, ofc, the villains stop her. Gee, some cover sure would've been nice, huh?
So the M6 have to improvise and- DID THEY JUST USE DERPY AS A MEATSHIELD?! DUDE!
So next scene, the M6 are wondering where to go since I'm assuming the griffons, the dragons and Thorax's hive are all on that same vacation as the Royal Guard. The hippogriffs! Of course! But hey, everything's too serious here. We need a joke!
Spike: "Hungry?"
AJ: "Hippos?"
*moment of silence to let the audiance stop laughing*
And just insert generic Fluttershy "yay" even if it doesn't fit the scene and BOOM! Situation is lightened-up.
So it turns out that all four princesses are needed for Tirek's- I'm sorry, for "Storm King's" plan. Gee, good thing there ARE four princesses, huh? Very specific spell he's got there.
Also, why do they contact each other via holy water... that has a ringtone? I mean, it's original, sure, but...
So it seems the Storm King's plan is to use a spell to gain the power of a hundred armies. For the sake of not dwelling on details let's just assume all armies in this world have equivalanet overall power levels and move right along.
Though this begs the question: Not-Zuko was able to defeat all the princesses head-on no problem, so why did she not try a more subtle approach if she absolutely could not afford for them to run away? Or, y'know, have her minions focus on THEM over the background ponies? You gotta get your priorities straight with this shit.
Back to our heroes as they enter... a town full of Lilo and Stitch aliens? Okay, did one of the writers just REALLY like that movie or something? It's a great movie and I can't really blame them but... it kinda doesn't fit in here. Though now I'm wondering if this is what the MIB ponies from earlier were here for.
Oh and hey, that cat stands out like a sore fucking thumb. I'm sure HE won't be important later. (actually, he won't be)
For the sake of giving SOMETHING to this part of the movie I'm going to assume that they didn't steal Spike's gecko joke from Xiaolion Showdown and just cut to the part where the cat rescues the M6 and takes them to his place. Oh, after Rarity compliments him to Spike annoyance, naturally.
So the M6 spend a solid minute with this guy, fixing up his slightly-torn sleeve and plotting their next move to Mt. Aeris... I believe that should be Mt. Aerith but whatevs. There they hope to find the hippogriffs - half-pony and half-eagle, with 0% hippo! ... I think the name-rater wasn't feeling so good that day.
So in comes Verko, who's come to collect the ponies this cat guy is selling. The ponies escape Not-Zuko - wait, she's here now? Uh, okay then - and Not-Zuko asks the cat where they're going. The cat COULD just sell this information but, after a minute with these ponies, he suddenly feels he'd be betraying them and risks his life to protect them.
Gee, such aritstic character development. Such wonderful growth and display of personality. It's almost like the writers forgot that we don't know the entire backstory of this character and just expected us to immediately sympathise with him.
Hell, I can't even remember the guy's name. That's how little I'm invested in him, I literally cannot remember the fucker's name!
So the ponies board an airship and hide. Oh, after Pinkie decides to endanger everypony's live by jumping on the tightrope they're using to board it. Duh.
"We tie 'em up."
"No, we clip their wings."
O_O
"We scar 'em."
O___O
"Emotionally."
... Okay, if there's one good point this film has, it's that they are NOT afraid to explore darker themes.
They have no problem acknowledging the badness in the worl- AND THEN they serve the ponies lunch!
What are they even eating?
I wanna say there's meat in that...
Oh I see. They weren't ALWAYS villains, they're just being forced into it. They actually used to be well-mannered, good-natured... pirates.
I'll just assume for the film's sake that they were like the Strawhat Pirates, though even the Strawhats acknowledge that pirates are criminals who steal shit and fight against the government!
A friend of mind commented that Equestria seems to know nothing of the outside world and this scene certainly supports that, but based on how sweet and pure Equestria is - I mean, when it's not being xenophobic - I think they're just denying that all this horrible shit is out there.
So Not-Zuko catches up when Rainbow Dash signals them with a Sonic Rainboom. The pirates hide the ponies and try to cover for them. How do the M6 show their gratitude? Loudly escape, revealing that the pirates had betrayed the Storm King. Eh, to be fair, I felt nothing for these guys, either.
Twi: "We're home free!"
... Unless they keep chasing you.
Oh, or they'll just keep searching the ship they literally saw you escape from... Yeah, you're home free.
So I'm half-way into this movie and still have no idea who any of these characters are.
We got the mare Zuko with a broken horn who's working for recoloured senile Triek and Lilo and Stitch aliens who want [Insert generic villain goal here].
We got a town of Stitch aliens and a cat that stands out more because he's a semi-main character.
Said cat tricked the M6 to sell them, spent one minute with them where Rarity fixed his ripped sleeve and suddenly he felt bad about selling them and risked his life to help them get away.
A crew of birds working for the villain who threatened to kill the M6 then served 'em lunch, revealed they used to be pirates then hid the M6 in their hold.
And the M6 broke out of said hold, revealing to the villain that the pirates were helping them and endangering their lives.
And now we have the hippogriffs.
Apparantly half-pony, half-eagle, but...
They're underwater.
And clearly fish, not birds.
Unless I misheard Twi's description of them. I don't care enough to rewind.
Hippogriff: "How do I know I can trust you?"
Twi: "Because."
Hippogriff: "OKAY! I'm totes taking you into our city!"
Right, so they used to be birds but are now fish.
And for some reason this knowledge is taboo.
But not so taboo that the queen actually enforces the law on it.
Oh you need some weird dust to change their races? Pfft. Big deal. Twi can do it on a whim. Btw, this dust is supposed to be the mcguffin, except that it's in the hooves of a race that LOST to the Storm King. That kinda defeats the whole point then.
In the Smooze movie, the Flutterponies weren't living in a land overtaken by Smooze, y'know ><
Another generic Fluttershy yay that doesn't fit the scene.
Twi: "This magic could defeat the Storm King's army!"
... The magic to change a pony's race? ... Then go beat him, you can do that!
Insert random Twilight and Pinkie Pie moment. May seem odd I'm pointing it out but bear with me.
So the princess of the hippogriffs is pretty neat. Certainly one SHELL of a character :D Srsly though, I love those googly-eyed clam pets.
Oh shit, wait, a likeable character! Hasbro, you're slipping! Fix it, quick! Ah good, she's crying over the ponies she met 2 minutes ago not staying with her forever.
So Twi has her friends sing a song to win over the hippogriffs. Or to distract them so she can steal the mcguffin. That works too.
Honestly, as out-of-character as that is, I love that Twi's finally putting things into perspective and NOT taking any chances with the lives of her people. Too bad the security system kicks in and the pones are returned to the surface. They have a fight where frankly I agree with Twilight: their lives are in constant danger and Pinkie and Dash just keep drawing attention to themselves instead of laying low.
So a good thing starts to happen where Spike and Twilight begin to have a genuine, heartfealt moment together. But then the movie remembers Spike is not relevant (come to think of it, I swear he keeps disappearing from scenes every now-and-then) and throws in an ambush. They capture the two... and ignore the others, I guess, and Twilight is taken to Not-Zuko so she can petrify her!
... Or, sing her backstory out of nowhere. Um, nobody asked but... okay?
Okay, so she walked into a cave and got mauled by an ursa minor.
Lost her horn.
Friends stopped hanging out with her 'cause I guess they're assholes.
Oh apparantely it's because she couldn't control her magic and they were scared of that.
But... clearly she got better in that regard.
And it only seemed to be an issue when she tried to USE magic.
So just don't try to use magic around the other foals?
Oh and that's literally all we're told btw.
Other kids stopped hanging out with her. Cut to present day: she's working with Storm King and telling Twi to "open up her eyes". Not sure what she's opening her eyes to exactly. That her friends will leave her if she loses her horn?
Okay, song over. NOW is she gonna turn Twi to stone?
Doesn't look like it.
Twi: "Friendship didn't fail me." Well tbf, that's correct. It was the fact that your friends are dumb and that the hippogriffs had great security.
So cut back to the M5 moping on the beach.
Oh. So THAT'S how irrelevant Spike is. That the minion that snatched him literally let him go off screen.
Oh, that's how irrelevant that cat is. That Not-Zuko - who declared he was going to pay for his deceipt - let him go off screen.
Oh, that's how irrelevant those pirates- y'know where this is going.
The hippogriff princess arises and transforms into her land counterpart.
Ohhhhhhh. So THAT'S what a hippogriff looks like when it's half-eagle and half-pony.
A pegasus with claws on its forehooves.
... More like 1/10 eagle really.
So return to Canterlot where HOLY SHIT. They are really not shying away from the dark themes in this movie.
So Not-Zuko STILL hasn't petrified Twilight and is dragging her through Canterlot where she suddenly has a slow-mo moment with that idol from the beginning of the film. Okay, so the idol is still relevant then. Maybe they have some sort of connection we're gonna learn about?
Twi: "I'm the Princess of Friendship."
Storm King: *laughs*
Yeah, that's about the right reaction.
Ahhhh, so this was all so he would restore her horn.
... She can use magic just fine though.
If it's just a matter of appearence I'm sure you can get a prosthetic one. If it's a matter of pride then... show that, please. There was literally nothing about this being a quest to restore her hono- omg she is really is mare Zuko.
So the Storm King is... okay, I guess? Kinda goofy, but not in anyway outlandishly-new way. Not that that's bad, but like, the build-up hasn't really paid off yet... In fact, wasn't stealing magic also Tirek's thing? This guy is literally just Tirek!
So either Storm King doesn't tell his guards who to look out for or these characters are really just that bland that even the Storm King's minions can't recognise 'em. Though considering how they were literally just let go I guess that makes sense.
Celestia better hope this movie is not canon, btw. If other nations found out it was this easy to overthrow Equestria the whole time, she'd be right fucked. Though I guess they ARE all on vacation right now so maybe if they all stay quiet about it.
So fight ensues, I think Fluttershy beat someone by giving him a boner and then running away, I dunno...
So Spike's finally being awesome, using his fire as a weapon. Oh, I'm sorry, the CAT is using it as a weapon. My bad.
Storm King reveals he had no intention of restoring Not-Zuko's horn, naturally, and Not-Zuko... defeats the combined powers of the four princesses- SERIOUSLY, YOU DON'T NEED IT, CLEARLY!
The M5 launch themselves into the castle.
Twilight: "Pinkie! You all came back!"
Twilight and Pinkie share a hug... and only them.
So, yeah, SOMEONE on the writing staffs ships these two.
At some point the combined magic... opened the Deadzone? I- Wha- Why- Yeah okay.
The M5 are trying to boost Twilight up there-
Wha- Why- I- SHE CAN FLY! AND TELEPORT! Well okayt maybe she has no magic left after being drained but SHE CAN FLY! As can Rainbow Dash!
So Twilight grabbs the staff with the magics and gets sucked into the Deadzone. Cue 30 seconds of fake-out with the M5 crying and she's back, descending from the heavens like an angel.
Nice fake-out there guys. Seriously, go watch Legend of the Neverbeast and take notes.
So the Storm King's army is now gone. Just... gone. Maybe they all got sucked into the Deadzone? And Not-Zuko is all sad and leaving now. That is, until she sees the Storm King hanging onto the balcony of the castle and preparing to throw a thing at the M6!
"NOOOOOOOOO!"
She blocks the thing which apparantely has INSANE recoil as it petrified not only herself, but the Storm King too! And then she pushes him off the balcony, shattering him into many pieces, literally killing the bastard!
Meanwhile Twilight pulls Not-Zuko back with her magic and cures her petrification... Okay, NOW I'll sayt that she could've teleported up to the staff earlier.
The M6 return the magic toi the princesses and this... apparantely fixes all the damage done to Canterlot?
... Okay. Sure. Movie's almost over anyway.
Oh Derpy's back btw.
Oh hippogriff princess... That's right, you were here. Did you even FIGHT in that last scene? I swear I don't recall you being there.
So now we move onto that idol singing the end credits-
Wait. Is... Is that it? Is that... literally her whole purpose here? To just sing the end credits? ... Then why the hell was she so built-up at the beginning? What the fuck was that weird moment she shared with Twilight? Why doe we even NEED a new character, we have Coloratura! Use HER!
And naturally, what better way to end the movie than by having Not-Zuko enforce the fact that she can use magic just fine and whisper her real name - apparantely she's been using an alias this whole time - to Pinkie Pie, and for Pinkie Pie to cum.
Aaaaand that was the final scene.
... Hooooooly shit, where do I even BEGIN?
So, first off, 90% of this movie was not needed. From the M6 escaping to Twi getting captured, NONE OF IT was necessary. They didn't get the mcguffin, Twilight still had her powers drained, Not-Zuko was the hero, and even the new side characters that helped them get into Canterlot weren't needed. The M5 could've been thrown into a cell and already existing side characters could've rescued them. Trixie, Maud, Shining Armor, Bon Bon, Time Turner... There's a pretty hefty list they could've used. Heck, if they wanted to use other races, they have Gilda, Iron Will, Ember, Thorax, and Little Strongheart.
Even the big fight was pointless because by the time they reunite, they're okay again. And that whole climax - clearly Twilight wasn't able to fly or use magic because they needed SOME WAY for friendship to save the day. Exept that's not even friendship, that's just working togetherness.
This whole film is like an exposition of ideas the writers had inserted into the middle of an episode. They're just spitballing ideas at the audiance to see what idea they try to market in the future.
So, was it the worst movie ever? Nah, far from it. Was it a BAD movie? Yes, but that's not my biggest problem.
The movie was bad, but even a bad movie can be given SOME leniancy if there was heart-and-soul put into this. THIS movie was clearly not cared for in the slightest. Hell, even the advertising was pitifully weak!
The characters are bland adn generic, and have no development. Literally no subtance at all. The scenes are over quickly and bear no purpose to the overall plot.
Honestly, what angers me about this movie isn't that it was bad, but that there was no effort at all. There were nice ideas that could've been SOMETHING, but they did nothing with them and the whole thing was just a passing fart in the wind - it happens, and then it's gone.
And if it was any other franchise maybe it wouldn't have been so bad, but this is Friendship is Magic, a show that started off SO STRONG, that pulled together this incredible fanbase from Season 1. Back then, it dared to be different. It dared to be anything but your generic, clichéd "little girls' toy TV show". Faust wanted this to be a series that could be enjoyed by everyone regardless of age or sex, and she suceeded, but THIS movie is literally everything that is the opposite to what FiM set out to be, and THAT'S the biggest crime here.
So, were there good moments?
Admittedly, a few scenes here-and-there got me some laughs. But the only thing I can really praise it on is the dark themes - they nailed them, and the fact that they did not shy away from this in a 21st century MLP movie is commendable. Slavery, clipping wings, death, PTSD, getting mauled by a bear - this is the kinda dark, gritty stuff I loved in Gen 1 and it's clear someone on the writing staff was a fan of that stuff.
Unfortunately, at the same time, that KINDA works against it. Like, they using some pretty great cards in a pretty crappy way. Like the bear mauling Not-Zuko as a foal - that could be the setup to an INCREDIBLE character, villain or not. What do we get instead? Another Starlight Glimmer story where Not-Zuko's friends stop playing with her and then X years later she's working with the villain. We don't even know how Storm King TEMPTED her. At least Starlight kept her insanity as a recurring thing. Not-Zuko is simply a villain with a tragic backstory, simply to BE a villain with a tragic backstory.
I guess the final thing I should mention is the animation - the style changed drastically from the show and, frankly, I'm not a fan. The show's animation style was great, it didn't really NEED to change. Beyond that though, the expressions and the movements of the ponies are very similar to that of the show and, sometimes, it honestly doesn't match this style of animation. Maybe it's just me, but I found it distracting a lot of the time.
Overall, I grant the movie 2/10. 1 point for the few laughs I got and 1 for how ballsy they were with the darker themes.
I cannot recommend this movie to people, and I certainly cannot suggest PAYING for it. If you're curious by all means check it out, but as for me, I'm gonna go wash the memories away with Lilo and Stitch and the original Gen 1 movie.
Nah, not gonna listen to yah, watch movie, loved it.
I admit its not a perfect movie, though not a movie to be over analyze. Just a 'good' kids movie.
Not to nack on your review, but you seemed to be miss other positive things. I know one video that balances both the negatives and positives.
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Sorry! Not goodbye to you. But goodbye to this writer, Yukito.
Sorry about that...
Oh god, Tempest is Zuko!
How would you compare this movie to the Equestria Girls films?
Honestly, I enjoyed the movie so much that any flaws it has might as well not exist.
Tempest is my new favorite villain, and she, Capper, Storm King, and Captain Calaeno are among my favorite characters from G4 as a whole.
And i loved the songs as well, with Open Up Your Eyes being my new favorite villain song, and it, I'm the Friend You Need, and Time to be Awesome being among my favorite G4 songs
Laughed my ass off reading your review of My Little Turkey: The Turkey. 😆😆
Honestly, I loathed the darker themes, especially since it shows/implies characters I adore such as the CMC, Trixie, Starlight, Lyra, the Wonderbolts, Moondancer, and more were injured, thrown in chains, and suffered to an extent far beyond what happens to them in the show (for established characters, as I do remember King Sombra’s actions). It really took me out of the movie and made those attempts at lighter scenes and jokes feel hollow or forced. It also made it feel like the Mane 5 couldn’t give less of a shit about the other ponies, and that’s hard to stomach when the aforementioned supporting characters have all made positive impacts on their lives in the show. That’s not to say I can’t handle darker themes, as some of my favorite movies have them, but the way this movie used them made me angry to the point of illness. Overreaction? Yeah, I guess it is. But that’s how I honestly felt.
At least some of the animation was nice, and I admittedly enjoyed Sia’s song at the end of the movie. I guess it’s better than nothing.
Otherwise, I agree with pretty much everything you said in the blog post. Even when I ignore the plot holes and how many retcons it’d require to make the movie fit with the show, it just wasn’t enjoyable in my opinion.
You missed the point. The point is that Hippogriffs became Hippocampi. It's not especially funny since the joke is too subtle to be played for humor, but the irony of this lore is appropriate for My Little Pony.
You misunderstand the point of this movie. I responded to a similar idea here, explaining that it is unfair to measure this film by the metric of a High-Concept Adventure story when it is obviously a Low-Concept character piece and thematic deconstruction of FiM's setting and ideology. Many scenes do not build strongly on the narrative, but all of them contribute to the tone and themes of the film in a meaningful way (I took notes on my second viewing to double check).
Excellent choice of emotion.
They were lucky to hire Sia and too lazy to do something with her. Also, funnily enough, the only Sia's song I remember is called "Cheap Thrills", so that's what they did with her - a cheap thrill.
I agree on all points, while adding that it really feels that the movie was not made for established fans. The main thing that stood out to me was Twilight forgoing the group and acting on her own in the underwater section. Regulars of the show will know that the M6 face countless world ending or damaging threats, but suddenly this one is the one so bad that the strategy of working together to find the solution is no longer enough? Seems contrived to me. The ones constantly betraying her are not her friends, and yet she feels justified on blaming them.
The thing that hung me up the most was the four alicorn spell thing. Clearly just a repeat of Tirek's plan, yes I am aware you made comparison as well, but fucking hell it just bothered me so much, where as Tirek wanted all the alicorn's power, this implies that there need not be a set number of them, the Storm King (can we also add his generic ass evil villain name to the cop out bucket) had to have specifically four to do his thing. Why four? Was the spell created recently because there were only three until recently.
The new animation style grew on me so no qualms from me on it.
The introduction of the new species is extremely overwhelming. Also this is another point which adds to my suspicion that this film was not made with fans in mind since that established other species, gryphons, donkeys, etc., are not given acknowledgement. I like new species being introduced since it adds more to the world which that fandom can use to create amazing content. However, this too many at once and when other species are introduced in the show, it is stated or implied that the ponies have knowledge of them, but they just don't interact with the for some reason. To say the ponies have no knowledge of these other species in their world is ludicrous.
Some might wish to compare this movie the the EQG films. The EQG films are not masterpieces, but to me they are honest. Clearly made to pander to fans and sell new toy models. The story of EQG is equally abysmal, but I never had expectations for it and they are fun little things if nothing else.
Lastly, Starlight Glimmer. Where in the shows timeline is this set, assuming it is or may become cannon. I ask because it would seem to me that one would think that Starlight, the graduated student of the Princess of Friendship, would definitely be in attendance at a FRIENDSHIP Festival. I like Starlight, partly because she reminds of OG Twilight from the start of the show, and I'm guessing that were making this since a long while back to not have included her in it.
Sorry if I repeated some things, but these were my biggest qualms and I totally agree with most of your review. Sad entry to the MLP library. Made for, in my opinion, the sole purpose of trying to grab new people into their franchise and if this is someone's first glimpse at MLP:FiM, I feels bad for them.
Yeez that is brutal. I see where you are coming from because I was and still do hate friendship games . see your points I disagree that say I loved the animation because I think the expressions were so detailed . And I liked Caper and Derpy wasn't a meat shield she got in front of the green thing. Yeah we going see those character again for season seven. Most likey to solve friendship problems. i also forsee Starlight and Tempest bonding in the next season.
I will say Tempest backstory is a little better Starlight. Because even if Starlight friend left Tempest went to get that ball when the other two didn't. she lose her horn because of that when she needed her friends the most they left her. Leaving her sad and heartbroken
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Late reply is late. I did not see this when you first posted it ^_^;;
I'm assuming you mean just the first EQG - honestly, EQG certainly has its flaws, but the only flaw that REALLY detracts from the experience to me is Brad - and his scenes are mercifully short. For what it is - a ploy to sell more toys - there was at least EFFORT put in. The story was fine, some scenes were GREAT, the characters were nice and the whole setting is good fanfiction fuel. Not only that but it FITS within the context of the show.
As I put it to my friend before - if you go into this movie blind, wipe everything to do with FiM from your memory and go into not knowing anything about the show, because that's apparantely what the writers did.
Even Sunset, as generic and vague as her backstory was - assuming you don't take the comic backstory as canon - was still enjoyable for WHAT she was and didn't waste any great cards like that whole ursa minor mauling scene.
If you're referring to the EQG series as a whole, the future movies build on what was great from the first movie and keep pretty much the same flaws, again keeping the setting consistent with the show and making the characters fun and enjoyable.
To summarise it: as I stated, my main problem with this film was how the writers clearly gave zero shits. They were just showcasing ideas in the middle of a normal episode, clearly with no regard to making an interesting story that fans would love. EQG was clearly just as much a ploy to sell toys but the writers still cared enough to make the best of what they had.
It's that effort that makes EGQ a movie I could get behind and made me invested in its sequels, even if it was only an okay movie at best.
I guess the movie had it's plotholes, but Tempest would never have become the hero in the end if everything leading up to that hadn't happened. Anyway, I think every part of MLP G4 has been wonderful.