Shoot, I forgot to mention · 1:30pm Oct 11th, 2017
I made a few minor changes to ...But It Often Rhymes, and I forgot to talk about them in the blogpost where I talked about ...But It Often Rhymes. So that wasn't very Cheerilee of me.
One is a fairly minor change: I changed a few instances of the name "Moonie" to "Moon Tea" in the first chapter, to indicate that it isn't supposed to be Moondancer. From the start, I'd intended it to be Moondancer's sister, whose cutie mark has, like, a teacup on it for some reason. I headcanon her to be named Moon Tea, and to be a fertility doctor by trade. Like I said, I crunched it down to Moonie at some point, in all instances where she was named, and never bothered to un-crunch it.
Well, I've uncrunched it, at least in part. I'll probably keep going back and making minor changes to the story, cleaning up some of the language as I go.
The other is more significant: Dubs Rewatcher made the observation that Cheerilee and Sunset hopping into bed together at the end of the story might come across as squicky, given the age disparity between them (Sunset's physically and legally nineteen in the story, but I admit that it's still a little squicky). I added a little bit of extra dialogue to the chapter which clarified the matter: Cheerilee is aware that Sunset is closer in age to her than she is to the rest of the Humane Six. So it's a little less, I don't know... predatory?
Oh, speaking of sexual predator Cheerilee: I have one last batch of cut content for you. Feast your eyes on the original version of the story, where Sunset was depressed after hurting Twilight's feelings, and Cheerilee started drunkenly hitting on her/making out with her on the football field.
Some of the dialogue is the same, and even some of the action. Notably, in both versions, Cheerilee's the one who initiates the kiss with Sunset on the football field. But, in this version, the roles that the two characters play are reversed, with Cheerilee comforting Sunset, rather than Sunset comforting Cheerilee. In this context, and especially with all the implications that Cheerilee's specifically out there to make a pass at Sunset, some of what happens comes across as... I don't want to say "predatory," but it's really not altogether kosher, either.
The revisions were all probably definitely for the best.
Alone with her thoughts, Sunset presses her palm to her forehead and sighs.
Sunset hears the doors open and close behind her. Something silken drapes over her shoulders, and she opens her eyes to see the shawl Rarity made for her hanging over her body.
Sunset spins. Ms. Cheerilee's standing behind her, wearing a blue blouse, a black skirt, and a kind smile. The green purse hanging from her shoulder clashes with the outfit, and it takes Sunset a moment to realize why.
"You forgot your things when you left," says Ms. Cheerilee. "I hope you don't mind me bringing them out to you. I didn't want to leave them unattended."
She slips Sunset's purse off her shoulder, and Sunset accepts when it's offered. She tries to thank Ms. Cheerilee. She wants to smile. Instead, she sourly mumbles, "Don't you have students to watch, or something?"
Immediately, she's kicking herself.
But Ms. Cheerilee laughs and waves the comment off. "Who says I'm not? You're a student, and I'm watching you now, aren't I?"
She's being cute – that's no surprise. Ms. Cheerilee is frequently cute without trying to be. But there's a level of informality that Sunset's not used to from her, and a casual, playful lilt in her words that makes the barrier between student and teacher seem a little more... permeable.
She's been drinking that punch, Sunset reminds herself.
"I'm just saying, you might have more to do inside than out." Sunset shoulders her purse. "I'll level with you – I think I'm gonna call a cab and go home right now. I'm all prom'd out."
"Didn't know there was such a thing as being all prom'd out." Ms. Cheerilee teases, but her face is soft, and sympathetic. It takes some of the sting away from Sunset. "I'd try to talk you out of it, but leaving early might be for the best. The other chaperones are all over the place right now, but once they straighten out and sober up a little, they'll probably shut down the dance and send everyone home."
"Guess that puts me ahead of the curve." Sunset gives a sad, crooked little smile. "I'm an overachiever, even when I'm not trying to be one."
"As a lifelong overachiever, I'd consider that a virtue." Ms. Cheerilee makes a motion with her head, an inviting gesture. "If you're serious about leaving, then I won't try to stop you. But why don't you join me for a walk down on the football field before you go?"
Her smile deepens, dimpling her cheeks. Sunset's breath catches. She blames the punch. "I'm not sure... it's nice of you to ask, but––"
"This morning, you were worried we'd never see each other again. Now I'm giving you the chance to spend some time together. You really wanna pass that up?" Ms. Cheerilee winks. "It's a beautiful night. Let's not waste it."
"It's so different out here after dark," Ms. Cheerilee murmurs, glancing around the football field. "A change in light, and school's practically a different place altogether. You ever notice that?"
Sunset's never put much thought into it. Right now, all she can think about is that fruity scent on Ms. Cheerilee's breath, faintly tinged with whatever got added to the punch bowl. Sunset wonders if she'd taste the same way––
She tugs her shawl tighter around her shoulders with her free hand. "Ms. Cheerilee?"
"You really don't need to call me that. Strictly speaking, I'm not your teacher anymore. 'Cheerilee' is fine."
"...Cheerilee, then." It sounds so different, yet so right, at the same time. "I guess I could get used to that."
"I hope you do," Cheerilee says. "People always assume that you leave everything behind when you finish high school – like the end of secondary education means upending your entire life and starting over. But I frequently keep in touch with students after they graduate, and I hope I'll keep in touch with you."
Sunset looks skeptically at Cheerilee. "You frequently take moonlit strolls down to the football field with them, too?"
"No," says Cheerilee. "No, this is a first for me."
Her eyelids droop – it's a familiar, smoky look, one that Sunset positively aches to see. She pulls to a stop, and faces Cheerilee.
"What are we doing?" she says softly. "Be honest. Why did you ask me out here?"
"...Because I saw what happened with Twilight. I'd be lying if I said I didn't think something like that would happen someday. I've seen how she looks at you; I've never seen you look at her the same way." Cheerilee's quiet for a moment. "I know you're angry with yourself, Sunset."
"Why shouldn't I be?" Sunset tugs her shawl tight against her shoulders and turns away. "I broke my best friend's heart. There's nothing you can say that'll make that alright. I don't deserve––"
"What you do and don't deserve isn't for you to decide." Sunset feels Cheerilee touch through the silken shawl. "Every time you've torn yourself down over this past year, those girls were there for you. To them, there was never a question of whether or not you deserved it. There isn't one to me, either."
Gently, Cheerilee pulls Sunset around; Sunset stares levelly into pale green eyes.
"You sent your friends after Twilight – and that was good of you to do. But you need someone too, I think. Someone to build you back up and remind you that you're not the monster you seem to think you are."
She reaches to cup Sunset's cheek, and Sunset covers the hand with her own, smiling despite herself.
"And that's why you're here?" she says.
"It's a major reason why." There's a glimmer in Cheerilee's eyes that wasn't there before. "I'd be lying if I said it was the only one."
... ... ...
Sunset's hand pulls Cheerilee closer, gentle, yet insistent. "To be honest... I didn't see myself ending up here, tonight. With you, I mean."
"Hmm." Cheerilee's nose bumps Sunset's. "But you hoped you would, didn't you?"
Sunset blinks. "What do you––"
"Please, Sunset. You've never looked at one of your classmates the way you've looked at me." She nuzzles along Sunset's jawline. "Students get crushes on their teachers all the time; it's nothing to be embarrassed about."
Sunset pulls back, just a bit – the comments haven't killed the mood, and she's still very much in the moment, but her perspective on the matter is starting to shift. "So you're just following proper procedure by taking me out dancing, then. That's just what you do when a student is into you."
Cheerilee's hand runs up the back of Sunset's neck again, cupping her head. The feel of her fingers weaving through Sunset's hair grinds down the edge of sarcasm in her voice, and her perspective on the matter slides back to Cheerilee is beautiful in moonlight.
"No," she says. "That, too, is new to me. Besides..."
She leans forward, her eyes closing, and Sunset meets her halfway.
"...you're not my student, Sunset."
The kiss is gentle – not chaste, by any means, not when Cheerilee's tongue finds Sunset's, and Sunset moans into Cheerilee's mouth. Nor is it the awkward first kiss of an adolescent couple, all slobber and clacking teeth. It's gentle, and slow – harmonious, just like their dance.
And it tastes like punch.
Posh, you bastard, read my messages. I have a thing for you (not in that way, but... okay, in that way too).
4694509 Stay on your side of the snake-cave, Lieutenant.
4694639
GET ON DISCORD. IT'S IMPORTANT SHIT. I DO ALL THESE NICE THINGS FOR YOU, AND YOU NEVER APPRECIATE THEM.
pees all over Posh's userpage
Oh boy, SPC (Sexual Predator Cheerilee) is a go!
I also am glad that you clarified who "Moonie" was. I remember being quite confused about how Moondancer could have been Sunset's frillyhood friend if she was Twilight's, and then you told me it was her sister. I wonder if Moonie and Moondancer's parents think it's weird that both of their kids ended up befriending Celestia's personal protege.
This ruins the point.
"Moonie" confused me, but in light of all these changes overall, I'm glad I read the original superior edition instead.
4695358 I'm curious to hear how it ruins the point.