Let's Talk About Film Reviews, Re: The My Little Pony Movie · 1:22am Oct 7th, 2017
Spoiler-free and Certified Fresh
So. The My Little Pony Movie is in theatres.
Can we just take a minute to bask in that fact? Yes? Good, okay, moving on.
I have not seen it yet, unfortunately; I had been planning on going out tonight, but sudden thunderstorms and a lack of vehicular transport have made that, sadly, an impossibility.
What I have been keeping up with are the reviews. And hoo-boy, are there some humdingers in there.
Now, I want to stress: I am in no way an authority on film. I am not a reviewer, and I am not a student. But it doesn't take a degree to see why some of this is malarkey.
Like, for instance, this review, from Michael Rechtshaffen of the Hollywood Reporter:
The review starts with the following:
Attention The Emoji Movie: Your status as worst animated feature of the year might well be in jeopardy when My Little Pony: The Movie trots into theaters this weekend.
Now, as someone who actually saw The Emoji Movie (Arr, mateys), I can say that this is a very, very bold claim.
Let's see what points Mr. Rechtshaffen uses to back up this statement:
...
You may be wondering why that quote box contains a set of ellipses, instead of a bunch of well-thought out points from the review.
Well, there aren't any.
This review begins with that bold claim, and then proceeds to do nothing to justify it, or to in any way support the reviewer's low opinion of it (it also misspells Fluttershy's name as Shutterfly). The closest it comes is the following:
While the main characters appear to have been given a bit of Powerpuff Girl sass by screenwriters Meghan McCarthy, Rita Hsiao and Michael Vogel, it ultimately does little to goose the limited hand-drawn 2D animation.
It goes into no further detail on the "limited" 2D animation.
You see, I was under the impression that a review ought to go into some, at least surface-level detail about the movie; this one merely glosses over the premise and the cast without adding any insight that one could not garner from a brief glance-over of a Wikipedia article.
Here's another review, from William Bibbiani of... IGN. That's not a good sign.
Friendship may be magic, but there’s nothing particularly enchanting about My Little Pony: The Movie. It’s going to leave fans of the series frustrated and everybody else completely baffled as to why this show was popular in the first place.
Interesting. Tell me more.
... it’s worth noting that anyone who would pay good money to see My Little Pony: The Movie is probably already a fan of the series, so completely ignoring everything that came before this movie was a crass and off-putting decision on multiple levels.
Hm... I see your point, sir, but if I may?
For one thing, even from the trailer, it's clear that this is not entirely true, as you'll note that Twilight has wings. But more importantly, why would that be a good thing?
See, this isn't just a celebration of the franchise; it's an opportunity to bring in new fans. Which, frankly, is not a bad thing for anyone. Making the movie something that can be enjoyed with or without knowledge of the show itself is not something that should be held against it.
For one, the characters our heroes meet -- like Capper, a fully anthropomorphic cat (voiced by Taye Diggs), and Captain Celaeno, a fully anthropomorphic pirate parrot (voiced by Zoe Saldana) -- break the rules of the series by being fully anthropomorphic.
Diamond Dogs.
Add to this the fact that it’s already been established that cats in this universe are cat-sized, and can’t talk. Rarity has one as a pet for crying out loud. So this is like if you walked outside and found out MC Skat Kat was moving in next door.
Diamond Dogs. Seriously, don't go around talking about the design philosophy of a show you either haven't watched or haven't watched enough of.
He does, however, make this valid point:
The Mane Six are already friends with an all-powerful chaos God who would do literally anything for Fluttershy if she asked. All they really had to do is call Discord up and solve all their problems. And if for some reason Discord wasn’t available, they also have armies of dragons and changelings who owe them no small amount of favors.
This is a problem, for both the movie and the show itself (and the comics, too). But, at least where Discord is concerned, there is precedent for him not being the most helpful in times of crisis.
...the day is saved through not by friendship and understanding, but through violence.
...My Little Pony: The Movie falls apart in the end because it resolves its conflict the way that conventional blockbusters do, and not in the way that My Little Pony does.
Again, have not watched the movie, but from what I do know, I suspect this is only half-right. But also... Season 2 finale. Season 4 finale.
All in all, this review is better than the previous one, for the simple reason that it does actually bring up points to support its claim. However, a lot of them seem to derive from a very shallow knowledge of the source material, and are not a judgement on the movie as its own entity. Of course, there should be comparisons made; if the movie were a gritty action film in the style of The Punisher, these comparisons would be incredibly important. But it's also important that we judge the movie on its own merits, too. Vague references are made to "forgettable songs and tedious and episodic plotting", but there is no depth to these claims.
One last one, and this one's been spreading around the web already, but I'm running out of time here and I couldn't think of a better way to cap this off: a review from Mark Dujsik of Mark Reviews Movies:
My Little Pony: The Movie is as advertised: It's a movie, and it contains ponies.
Real informative, there.
This reviewer gives the movie 1 1/2 stars, and starts out on an oddly nihilistic note:
I do not fit the demographic, so this review won't matter to anyone with an interest in the movie. Since the primary audience of people with an interest in the movie are probably children, it's unlikely that reviews, in general, mean much to them. As for the parents who will be bringing the kids, this review also won't matter, because, if your children want to see this movie, you'll be going along for the brightly colored, overly cutesy, and not-as-self-aware-as-it-thinks-it-is ride.
In fact, this tone carries through most of the review, which spends most of its time critiquing the world and the setting established by the show. It does, however, take a moment to discuss the animation:
It's obvious that the character design is intentionally simple. The filmmakers, though, have the ponies and assorted other creatures existing in a nearly 3-D world, where the ponies can wander through the village along every axis, giant zeppelins emerge from darkened clouds, and a jagged city rises out of the desert. Some of it, like that city, looks pretty good on its own, and some of it, like the various airships, looks as if the design process ended on the first go-around.
Look! A valid criticism!
And then back to the nihilism:
The kids, of course, won't care, and they probably shouldn't, anyway. These are things noticed by someone who has no knowledge of the ponies and to whom the movie never provides a reason to care, despite his or her best effort to try to find some entryway into this world.
And now, onto the critique of the plot... which lasts for a grand total of one paragraph and goes into no detail past the premise.
We then have a listing of every major character, along with their primary character traits, and then the conclusion:
The ponies do what they're supposed to do, I guess, and there is a little charm to the style and sunny attitude of these characters—except when the story requires violent standoffs, which seem to go against the point. My Little Pony: The Movie is as advertised: It's a movie, and it contains ponies. In hindsight, that probably should have been the extent of this review.
Riveting.
This is the part where I'm supposed to make some grand point about the sorry state of film reviewing. I'm not going to do that, because as I mentioned earlier, I am not an expert! Also I'd like to believe that the majority of the reviews that I didn't read are better than these ones.
But what I would like to say is that, as with everything, one should really take a closer look at anything that claims to be evaluating something. Don't look at a critic's score as an objective rating of quality; they can pull numbers out of their asses just like the rest of us. Read what they have to say, and evaluate their opinion based on the points they are making.
Or, better yet, watch it yourself and come to your own conclusions, like I hopefully will be soon. In the meantime, I'm going to go watch the OG movie for the umpeenth time.
Yours in Shoo-Be-Doo,
RB
