• Member Since 22nd Dec, 2012
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Black Lives Matter, this isn't hard

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  • 226 weeks
    old plans, part 5

    I'm busy with school, my hands hurt, and it turns out my dog has pancreatic cancer. So these are going to get shorter, but they have to happen because, I don't know, they just do.

    The following is either one or two chapters.

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  • 229 weeks
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old plans, part 5 · 12:34am Sep 16th, 2017

I'm busy with school, my hands hurt, and it turns out my dog has pancreatic cancer. So these are going to get shorter, but they have to happen because, I don't know, they just do.

The following is either one or two chapters.

So Mag is now in a full unreliable narrator state. She's seeing demons and contradictory events, people die and then show up later with nary a scratch, and it can be difficult to tell when Luna really just said something and when Mag just imagined her saying it. And sometimes Mag can't hear Luna at all.

This plays out for like two thirds of a chapter. Now Mag witnesses four things happen at once, from four mutually exclusive perspectives. She's hiding in an alley watching water drip down a wall, in another alley watching revolutionaries plant a bomb under the capitol building, watching Jeff and Nayra negotiate a double-suicide for the good of Antisuyu, and sitting on a nonexistent hill watching the sun through the jungle. Description of these events will be intertwined from sentence to sentence with no particular warning which sentence refers to which event. Luna is gone for all of these.

Alley wall: water drips down in detail. Grimy, calm, not eventful.
Bomb planting: detailed, carefully researched breakdown of the process of preparing to blow up a large building. A tone of inevitability is built up, such that there's barely even any tension. This building is coming down, no room for doubt.
Suicide negotiation: this is where all the dialogue is. If it's in dialogue tags, it's these two talking. Jeff is mentally collapsed and poorly shaven, mostly doesn't care anymore, and has a suggestion; Nayra knows she's failed her country and is looking for a way to mitigate the damage she's caused, and is receptive to Jeff's points; her only concern is that Jeff won't pull the trigger on himself. The Nightmare is missing.
Hill sun jungle: shit's pretty. The city is gone, like it never existed.

The bomb goes off and the building comes down. Mag is caught in the blast.
The alley wall blows up. Mag is caught in the blast.
The hill blows up. Mag is caught in the blast.
Jeff and Nayra come to an agreement. They each put a pistol to their own heads and pull the trigger. An utterly, completely, entirely exhausted Celestia poofs in and catches both bullets while they're still in their barrels, then observes to her horror that stopping a bullet isn't enough if the gun is close enough to your head. Then the building blows up, and Mag is caught in the blast.

Mag is standing in front of the Throne. Her mind is clear and she feels nothing. She steps into the pit. Next blog post is the finale.

Report Ragnar · 492 views · Story: A New Sun ·
Comments ( 10 )

Goddamn. I wish i could be more eloquent but headcold and family visiting fatigue is a thing.

Sorry to hear about your dog mine had a large grapefruit sized tumer on his back we tried two things first the doctors removed all they could and then we gave him some cannabis oil trust me the oil works my mom also had a brain tumor. A bit of it and the tumor shrunk to about half its size in about two months.

Unfortunately, pancreatic cancer is practically untreatable even in humans. There's nothing to be done except make him as comfortable as possible until it's time to let him go.

Dang, dude. Thanks for the closure eh? Good luck with your troubles.

Appreciate hearing where this would've gone, even if we don't do so in full prose.

I understand your pain In my lifetime my family has had 5 dogs that died the first (baxter) died of old age, the second (Buddy) died when his kidneys shut down, the third (lucky) had diabetes, was blind, and had a severely broken leg (healed wrong), number four (gitano) was blind for as long as I can remember but lived a ridiculously long time about fifteen years, five (zuse) was shot and lived but had a lot of pain. It's hard to have a pet die but it's worse to know they're going to die and waiting, my grandma actually cradled buddy in her arms as he die we cried for days.


sorry, im just not sure what else to say about something this intense :P

That last bit is chilling, for certain.

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