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  • Saturday
    SA Reviews #116

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    Sitting on a rock surrounded by debris, Intern typed away furiously on a laptop lying on his lap. Being so engrossed in his work, he failed to see a figure march up to him. The figure cleared his throat, but didn’t get a response. Next, the figure lightly tapped Intern on the shoulder but still didn’t get a reaction.

    The figure finally settled on slapping Intern on the back of his head.

    “Hey!” Intern squawked indignantly. “I’m trying to work here.” Looking up, he found a man he didn’t recognize staring impatiently down at him. The man was dressed in a finely pressed suit and carried a briefcase. “Can I help you?”

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    7 comments · 2,481 views
  • 2 weeks
    SA Reviews #115

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    Corejo stepped into Ferret’s office, hands clasping a manila folder behind his back.  “You wanted to see me?”

    Ferret sat at her desk beneath the light of a single overhead lamp.  She wore a see-through green visor and worked hell on a roller-print calculator.  The chu-chug of the calculator filled the air as it spit out what were probably forged tax return numbers.  Hard times were upon us now that the movie sucked away most of our reader base.

    She rolled her stogie from one side of her mouth to the other.  She didn’t bother looking up.  “Your reviews.  Don’t forget, I need them by tomorrow.”

    “You called me down here to remind me to do my reviews on time?”  Corejo smirked, taking slow, meaningful strides toward her desk.  He flopped a manila folder on her desk.

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    11 comments · 3,242 views
  • 4 weeks
    SA Reviews #114

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    Intern burst open a door, startling the Angels gathered inside sitting next to a poker table, and causing many to drop their cards.

    “Hey, I was about to win that hand!” Cynewulf yelled.

    Intern ignored her. He cast a quick glance over their confused and concerned faces, scowled, then slammed the door shut. He stomped towards the next door and threw it open much the same way he did the first. Long past the point of caring, Intern once again looked over everybody inside the room. At last, sitting towards the back in a darkened corner, he found his target.

    Waltzing in and brushing past anyone in his way, Intern loomed over the figure that was furiously scribbling away on a piece of paper.

    Intern reached over and flicked the on switch for the light.

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    4 comments · 2,755 views
  • 6 weeks
    SA Reviews #113

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    "What's that in your mouth?"

    "It's a pipe," said Cyne, and jabbed the briary thing at Archonix from her comfortable chair by the fire, that flickered low and dark, and smoked more than a thoughtful philosopher at three in the morning when the rain is scattering drops in careful patterns across dust-rimed windows.

    Archonix raised his eyebrows. "And it comes with all that prose for free, does it?"

    Cyne clomped her teeth around the pipe and glared at Archonix. "You smoke one as well, you donkey."

    "Only when I'm trying to write reviews," said Archonix. "And that's discrimination that is."

    Cyne didn't answer, preferring to stare into the fire and to think long thoughts, something entirely alien to Archonix on the best of days. They sighed in unison.

    ROUND 113

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    4 comments · 4,448 views
  • 8 weeks
    SA Reviews #112

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    The low-lying fog obscured the two ponies’ hooves as they tramped through the ancient graveyard. Luna’s moon hung in the early autumn air, burning a sickly yellow.

    “I hate graveyards, Ferret,” Intern said as he tightened his rucksack. He spluttered as he walked through a dangling cobweb.

    Ferret chuckled, and hopped over some brambles. “Watch where you step, you never know when—”

    There was a click underhoof, and a grasping griffon claw burst from the loam beneath the pair. Intern leapt back, cursing. Ferret laughed, and plucked the padded foam prop from its spring.

    “Why are we even here, Ferret? That new kid, Novel-whoever, is pretty good. This is a waste of our time.”

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    6 comments · 4,552 views
  • 10 weeks
    SA Reviews #111

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    “You do the honors.” Ferret’s eyes glittered in the darkness of the ancient laboratory. The ancient portal glowed with unholy violet energy, illuminating only the barest hints of her figure and the shaking person beside her.

    “Me?” Chris protested, stepping back from the portal and glancing at the giant hourglass festooned with twinkling geodes, flashing bulbs and enough copper wire to build a Faraday cage. “I’m not touching that thing! It looks like something Lovecraft and Jules Verne made on a bet! A very drunk bet!”

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    25 comments · 3,975 views
  • 17 weeks
    SA Reviews #109

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    Matthew stood next to a metal door labeled “The Cool Room”. He had never seen this door before; not surprising since the Seattle’s Angels compound tended to lose and gain random rooms with astonishing frequency. He made a mental note to complain to the guys running the relativity lab to dial it back a bit.

    Pushing back those thoughts for later, Matthew grabbed hold of the handle to the door, turned, and pulled the door open. A rush of cold air blasted him, almost knocking him back. Matthew, now wishing he had brought a coat, braced himself and entered.

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    13 comments · 4,498 views
  • 19 weeks
    SA Reviews #108

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    Archonix strolled through the second floor hallway of the Seattle’s Angels Secret Underground Base and Treefort.  He licked his thumb as he leafed through a stack of papers, humming Winter Wrap Up in a most Scottish manner.  Without looking up from his work, he stopped and rapped his knuckles on Corejo’s bedroom door.

    “Hey, Core, you in there?  We need your reviews.”  No answer.  Archonix looked up at the dozens of Luna pictures taped haphazardly to the door.  ‘No Celestias allowed!’ read a small poster board stuck in the middle in glued macaroni and glitter.  The light of a computer monitor escaped through the crack beneath the door.  “Core?”

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    6 comments · 1,642 views
  • 21 weeks
    SA Reviews #107

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.
     


     
    Briefcase in hand, Chris nervously entered the room.  It was bare except for an imposing desk and a high-backed office chair, the latter with its back to him.  “Um, hello?  I’m here about the interview.  Ah, about becoming a Seattle’s Angels reviewer?”
     
    “So, you’re the new guy, eh?” The voice came from the chair.  Chris watched as it slowly swiveled to face him, revealing a diminutive rodent perched upon it.
     
    “Um, yeah, pleased to meet you.”  Chris held out his hand, a gesture met with an arched eyebrow.  “Right, squirrel, sorry.” He awkwardly brought it back to his side.  “So… you must be RedSquirrel, right?”  The rodent’s other eyebrow joined the first.  “Oh, uh, I guess that’s a silly question.”
     

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    13 comments · 1,959 views
  • 23 weeks
    SA Reviews #106

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.
     


    A lone figure wrapped in furs lay flat, exhausted, at the world’s jagged edge.

    She had done it. She had traversed numerous kingdoms and broken empires, fought immeasurable hordes, raised kings and humbled the proud, become a legend. She had seen things you people wouldn’t believe--attack ships off the shoulders of Orion, C-Beams glittering in the dark ‘round the Tannhauser Gate, the Walls of Morning and the Wailing Plains of Night. All these things, now so infinitesimally small with her final goal in sight. Just a few more stairs. Just… just a few more.

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    0 comments · 2,159 views
Sep
1st
2017

Story Reviews » SA Reviews #104 · 11:05pm September 1st

Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


Methodical fingers fell on the keyboard. Ticks and clacks and tacks echoed through the dreary cubicle halls of the corporate office space. Bleary-eyed and coffee-deprived, Matthew sat in front of the screen with the lethargic determination of the recently dead. The computer monitor, though searingly bright, was comparatively dim to the fluorescent lights that flickered on the ceiling.

Then Red showed up holding a squirrel-sized newspaper and a human-sized coffee mug, which was full of assorted nuts. He slugged a mouthful down and barely chewed.

“Ha ha ha!” the squirrel said. “Turns out Pontchartrain really did track mud in the house! I love that comic.”

“Red, you’re reading the editorial section, and it’s almost four,” Matthew said, diligently not looking up from his screen. “I’m trying to finish these reviews. I haven’t seen you all day and I wanted to keep that streak going.”

Red hopped up on Matthew’s shoulder, spilling nuts all over the keyboard and ignoring the other reviewer’s cry of distress. “Oh, Matt, I know you used to be some kinda freelancer back at your old job, but around here we do things differently. You’re just some crazy nonconformist. That’s why I call you my D.O.G.E.!”

Matthew sputtered. “Your… doge? What are you talking about? Let me finish my reviews!”

“No no, I finished mine hours ago, I’ll help you!” Red hopped onto the keyboard and jumped on seemingly random keys. The computer made a strange noise before the monitor blipped, and came back all blue. Matthew shook with horror as he read the on-screen message.

Flippant system error. Computer over. Reviews=bad idea.

Red smiled vacantly. “I like the color blue.”

ROUND 104


With Celestia out on vacation for a week, Cadance sees a fine opportunity to spend some time with her Auntie Luna, who's now in control of Equestria for that time. She's always known Luna to be a bit... different, but she never thought she'd find herself suspecting her Auntie Luna of trying to take over Equestria again. Is she simply over-thinking things, or is something truly the matter with Auntie?


From the very first chapter, I was hooked. It wasn’t a single sentence or an especially strong description that convinced me the story was worth reading. I had to settle in and wait and listen to what it had to say. The manner in which this story is written is just as important as the story it is telling. Princess Cadance wants to know what Luna is thinking. That is the mystery. Princess Luna’s thoughts are about as obscure as her own night sky. That is the obstacle Cadance must overcome.

I don’t have to say that I was engaged simply because the premise is so unique--there are not many stories featuring Cadance as a main character, and fewer in such a thoughtful and insightful peek into her psyche. “Character study” does this story a disservice. It is a peek behind the curtains, a lovely and subdued stroll through the minds of two characters often buried beneath fanon or shunted to side roles. We learn about Luna along with Cadance, and we learn about Cadance as she learns about Luna.

Princess Luna is as good as I’ve ever read; from glimpses of a mind older and more mysterious than Equestria itself, yet lost and unable to cope with the world, to the tiny hints through body language the story conveys. Princess Cadance wears her naivete and curiosity like a well-fitted glove, which also happens to mirror the mood the reader gets into while exploring the mystery of Luna alongside her. The pacing is spot-on, every character seems ready to jump from the pages as a fully-fleshed creature, and it gives me the warm feeling the MLP show did when I first saw it airing. Highly recommended.

So, CoffeeBean is one of my favorite authors. And with good reason. But as this is not so much about him as it is the story, I shall begin my review.

It’s set Mid-Season 2, where Cadance wants to get to know Luna more. So, she does. And this wasn’t kidding when it said it was a slice of life. But we also get a large amount of mystery to go with it, as no one is really sure of what’s happening. And then we get this giant tension. And it builds, and builds, and builds. And then the resolution finally comes, and... it’s solved in two paragraphs of talking.

Don’t get me wrong, I love this story. In fact, that is my only complaint. Everything else was spot on, to even better than spot on. From characterizations, to pacing, even to magical capabilities. So I hereby challenge you to go and read it. As in, now.


Fancy Pants' place in Canterlot's social hierarchy gives him certain obligations. One of these is the hosting of a number of balls, dinner parties and so on. Tonight he will be putting on a small, intimate "At Home" affair for just a few guests. Sadly, Jet Set and Upper Crust will be among their number. Before all that, though, Fancy Pants and his faithful butler, Silver Cloud, need to make the final preparations.


You know you’re in for a good time with Fancypants. He’s basically the eccentric uncle who lets you play with knives from that time he was a super spy undercover as a clown at the circus. I think the word that best describes this fic is “voice.” From the very start I could hear everything Fancypants said in his voice, and imagine the mannerisms he used very well. Some fics aren’t about something that “happens” as much as they are what the characters are like while a thing is happening, in this case preparations for a party. Fancypants’ ever-anxious butler was a fun addition to the mix. I found this fic quite entertaining, and I’m always in the mood for authors that take the time to write about ponies you might not expect to make good stories out of.

I swear, I am not obsessed with Loganberry. This one was chosen by redsquirrel. That out of the way, let’s jump in.

It’s basically a glimpse into the more private thoughts of Fancy Pants. I admit, I’ve never really liked him. I’ve always shied away from stories with him. But when this was recommended to me, I had to read it. And I found myself enjoying Fancy Pants. Loganberry did such a good job making sure that everything Fancy did, thought, or said was spot on to his character in the show. And not only do I respect that, I liked it.

So if I can like a story based on a character I don’t care for, then why would you not read this?


Love and Hope once shone bright from a gleaming crystal city, only to be lost to the evils of indifference and despair. This is a tale of the leaders who built an empire based upon those virtues, and the two newly weds who are about to realize their shared destiny in reclaiming it.


Mmm, delicious, delicious world-building. It’s as sweet and savory as any freshly-excavated cup full of assorted nuts and seeds a squirrel can find!

This is a history of the Crystal Empire, from its founding to its fall and its eventual rise again, creating its own legend with two endearing OCs. They are compelling while still being archetypes of myth, interesting without needing to be riddled with extraneous flaws, and generally just cozy to read about. It isn’t long or deep, but if it tried, I feel like it might have gone off the rails. This story found a warm, friendly core to settle around and did not stray far from it, to its credit.

I really just like hearing about ancient stories of ancient times, you know?

Ever wondered about the history of the Crystal Empire? Well, look no further, as this is the story for you! At 30k words, it takes a little longer to read than the other stories featured, but it’s well worth it.

It’s about two OCs who don’t fall trap to the classic “OP-ness” or “Feel bad for me” archetypes. They’re just normal ponies, with normal thoughts, and normal actions. Well, mostly normal. They are the type of characters who are easy to read about. Also, worldbuilding. So much worldbuilding. Now go read.


Everyone knows the story of the Iron Wing. They all know how fiercely she fought at the battle of Rainbow Falls. Soldiers measure their worth by where they were when she routed Sombra at the gates of Canterlot. Even now, there's a pilgrimage some take that follows her entire campaign.

And anyone who knows anything about the Iron Wing knows about the Demolition Crew. The story of the Crystal Collapse is one fraught with thrills and chills for fillies of all ages, and the closing of the Ghastly Gorge continues to inspire and terrify all who hear of it.

But legends seldom begin as the titans they become. Heroes are not born, but made, through fire and pain and loss. There isn't a pony alive who doesn't know the story of the heroes, but the story of the soldiers who became those heroes is one known only to them.

This is not the story of Iron Wing and the Demolition Crew. This is the story of Rainbow Dash and the Pie sisters.


This is another story about “voice.” It’s also a story about the Crystal Empire, sans all the love that it used to have. It’s set in the war between Sombra and Equestria during that alternate timeline Twilight visited, and is simply three vignettes involving three soldiers: Rainbow Dash, Pinkie, and Maud. Each of them is hurt by the war in their own way, and the tales aren’t about how they dealt with their problems later, but live them in the now. They are visceral and clearly are meant to be read as coming from the heart, since they’re all in first person, and while they are certainly dark and violent, there is that slight undercurrent of determination, hope, and friendship keeping them and their sanity together. It delves a little too deep into its own gore and overblown exclamations of hate, but overall it doesn’t lose sight of itself. Yet even still, the characters are well-realized. The way each of them spoke fit them quite well.

Now, is a story about war and horror truly pony? Well, that’s up for debate. One can go on and on about whether the show even lives up to its own idyllic setting and themes most of the time. I just know it kept me reading, and even though these are very, very different characters from what we see in the show, this story still managed to convince me they were the same old ponies we know and love.

So, you know that Season 5 finally where there’s the Crystal War Timeline? Yeah, this is more about that. And I love it. That timeline is probably my favorite out of them all for sheer coolness, and this story plays into that coolness.

But it also delivers some serious feels like an arrow piercing your heart. And it does this through looking at what we saw of Pinkie, Rainbow, and Maud in the show, and building up that characterization in about 500 words each. Then it uses the other 2k words in each chapter to tell a story. A story that not only builds on top of the other character’s stories, but provides more foundation for them.

And then there’s taking a silly topic, like Maud talking to rocks, and making it serious. And having rocks speak to her. And I LOVE it.

Do be warned, though, that with this seriousness, comes realism. In the show, it was “oh, that’s cool.” But here? Here, you will know that it. Is. A. War. But if you’re fine with that, then you will love this. Now go read it.


“So you’re saying it just started smoking after Red stuffed his nuts into the CD tray?” alexmagnet the IT guy who nobody ever saw until problems like this arose said.

Matthew shrugged, standing safely behind the wall of another cubicle and peeking over the top at the melting mess of plastic. “Yeah, I thought the blue screen was bad, but when it caught on fire I figured things had gone beyond what I could salvage.”

“Did you try to turn it on and off?” asked alex.

“Yeah, the button fell off and Red ate it.”

alex sighed, running a hand through his luxurious hair. “Well, I can try to see if anything made it out of the hard drive. But apart from that…”

“Hey guys!” Red said, hopping up on the cubicle’s edge. “Don’t forget to check out that email I sent to every single Angel and all their friends and all their friends and all their friends! There’s this sweet 2 gigabyte attachment that you’re all gonna love!”

alex and Matthew stared at each other. As they watched and Red’s insidious email was opened, computers across the office attempted to open the gigantic attachments, and gave up the ghost with sparks and smoke.

“... I like computers,” Red said, smiling vacantly.


Feel free to visit our group for more information and events, and to offer some recommendations for future rounds. See you all next time!

Report Wanderer D · 3,994 views ·
Comments ( 18 )
PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Dat STORY_IMAGE_URL tho

4655147
yeah they should take care of that

Hap

4655147
4655176

They also got the title of the story wrong! Whoops!

Oh my god! Thank you so much for the absolutely glowing review! I... my heart pounded the whole time reading this. I'm overjoyed the work I put in has paid off.

I don't even read these for the reviews; I read them for the insane world the reviewers live in.

Uh, WD? Can you fix the third story. First, here’s the picture https://cdn-img.fimfiction.net/story/x30m-1432473786-88484-medium

And second, it’s Through Ice and Shadow, not Snow.

4655285
:pinkiehappy:

4655329
You’ve barely scratched the surface of this world. I have seen terrors that would break your mind if I even spoke of them. I have heard the call of death itself. And I have smelled the beginning of the universe. It smelled like egg-gas.

4655424
Has this group reviewed "Celestia's Relaxing Vacation" by headless rainbow? Cuz that shit already broke my mind pretty good.

4655646 If it's good and you want us to review it, head on over to the group recommendation thread located here.:twilightsmile:

4655979
HELL NO nobody should ever read that story it's fucked up lol.

Oy, D, why is Red's avatar borked? :rainbowderp:

Wanderer D
Moderator

4656321 I'm not sure. Ask Red.

Also, the last one posted was #109. Hmmm.

Another good-looking batch! Gonna have to queue up The Luna Papers for, y'know, reasons.

Also, glad to have y'all back (numbering oddities aside). It's been a little quiet.

4658967
You're damn right, you're gonna have to queue up 'The Luna Papers'! :trollestia:

I'm wondering if the misnumbering and borked images is part of the short story joke...

~Skeeter The Lurker

Shouldn't this be #110?

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