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  • 1 week
    SA Reviews #130

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.

    “It wasn’t until this moment that Intern realized just how large the Seattle’s Angels compound was. Entire days could be lost trying to familiarize oneself with just a single wing, let alone the months it would take to explore the whole building. But as Celestia as his witness, he was determined to do it or so help him!”

    “Intern, you’re monologuing again,” said a voice from above. “And you’re doing it in third person.”

    Snapping his mouth shut, Intern looked up to see Red perched on top of a protruding branch from the wall. He nibbled on a nut as he regarded the befuddled temp-reviewer. “Is this what you’ve been doing all month? Getting lost and talking to yourself?”

    “No,” Intern said, arms folded across his chest. “I’ve been very productive this entire time.”

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    6 comments · 1,187 views
  • 3 weeks
    SA Reviews #129

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.

    Corejo flipped through his Reviews folder one last time before making it up the stairs toward Ferret’s room. Yep, all there! He threw on a jaunty smile and strode up to her door… which was locked?

    A little red note taped to the door read in commanding read marker: OUT TO LUNCH. SLIP YOUR REVIEWS UNDER THE DOOR.

    Huh. Normally Ferret left the door open on Review Day so she could see their bright, sunshiny faces when they walked in. Whatever.

    Corejo shrugged and did as the sign said. And then he drummed his hands on his thighs. And then he looked around.

    Huh. Where were the shenanigans? There were supposed to be some wacky shenanigans that magically happened right about now at the worst possible time and inconvenienced him, because comedic coincidence dictated so.

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    5 comments · 1,519 views
  • 5 weeks
    SA Reviews #128

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.

    “So, Cyne?” asked Matthew, “whatcha up to?”

    “Oh, you know, just getting some reviews in,” she replied.

    “But… there’s no school anymore. And no school means no reviews! We’re free!” he shouted, literally leaping for joy.

    Cynewulf slammed a stack of papers onto the table in front of her. “Ha! Shows what you know. Summer school is now in session.”


    ROUND 128

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    9 comments · 2,042 views
  • 7 weeks
    SA Reviews #127

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.

    “Listen up, class! Today I will teach you all that is necessary to build a fanbase.” PaulAsaran spun on his heel and began to write on a chalkboard. “Take good notes. A five page essay and three mock-up reviews will be due next week.”

    A series of groans filled the classroom.

    Intern, wearing his now customary janitor uniform, stopped by PaulAsaran on his way to dump out a trash bin. In a low whisper, he said, “That’s more than we do in two weeks.”

    “Hush, you,” PaulAsaran replied. “I’m in my element.”

    “What do you mean by that?”

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    5 comments · 1,874 views
  • 9 weeks
    SA Reviews #126

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.

    A loud thump announced the arrival of Novel Idea into the dreaded dungeons of the Seattle’s Angel’s complex. To his surprise, the place had been completely redecorated. To his horror, he instantly recognized the new motif.

    Detention?!” he cried. “I’ve never been in detention in my life!”

    He turned to glare at the slide he’d been just dropped down. Corejo stood above, looking imperious—or at least trying to, it was Corejo after all.

    “You can’t do this to me! I’ll do my freaky time magic thing again!”

    “School’s in session. All of it.” Corejo winked—he actually winked—and pulled a level straight out of the Acme Budget Villain Catalogue. The portal closed with a resounding snap.

    He grumbled to himself and stomped over to the desk with his name on it and plopped down.

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    3 comments · 2,049 views
  • 11 weeks
    SA Reviews #125

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.

    Corejo, as a Seattle’s Angel, had experienced many weird things during his tenure as a reviewer. Multiple base explosions, the fabric of spacetime ripping apart with seeming regularity, and the slightly disturbing obsession Red had for nuts.

    Even with all that, today was already vying for his top five list in terms of stuff he didn’t expect to be a part of when he woke up that morning.

    “Okay class!” Ferret announced from her position on top of a teacher’s desk. Before her, a room full of kids and a few adults sat at wooden desk, pencils and papers at the ready. “Today beings the first day of the School of Reviewers!”

    Corejo raised his hand.

    “Oh, and I see we already have a question. What is it?”

    “Yeah, uh, what is even the heck? Why do we have a reviewer school?”

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    15 comments · 1,918 views
  • 13 weeks
    SA Reviews #124

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.

    “Look,” said Red, “I really think you’re going about this the wrong way.”

    “Oh really?” said Matthew419. “How would you suggest otherwise?”

    “Don’t dangle me by my tail off the edge of a fifty-story building?”

    A spotlight peered up at them. “This is Intern!” Intern shouted up through a megaphone. “We’ve got the building surrounded! Drop the squirrel and--”

    The megaphone squealed loudly, and there were sounds of a scuffle before another voice shouted at them once again. “No no no, don’t drop the squirrel!” said someone who Red thought might be Ebon Quill. “I mean, do, but first, just step away from the ledge and we’ll talk!”

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    12 comments · 2,684 views
  • 16 weeks
    SA Reviews #123

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.

    The pillars rose up around him, towering over Corejo like judgmental parents. On top of the pillars stood the Pillars, looking down on him like disappointed parents.

    “This council of Equestria’s first league of extraordinary gentlecolts—”

    “And three gentlemares!”

    Starswirl rolled his eyes. “Yes, quite.” Clearing his throat, Starswirl continued, “find you, Corejo, guilty. Stygian, read him his sentence.”

    Stygian, who wasn’t standing on any of the pillars, unfurled a scroll and began reading. Corejo could have sworn his voice sounded familiar. “You are hereby sentenced to review on a tight deadline. You will have to forsake the niceties the Seattle’s Angels grant their employees in order to make your due date.”

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    13 comments · 3,461 views
  • 18 weeks
    SA Reviews #122

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.

    Paul paced about the thing laughably referred to as his office. He could get about four steps down before having to make a turn, and that’s assuming his line of motion was just right. He glanced at his clock, grumbled some phrase unfit for the world wide web, and continued his pacing.

    “Hey, Paul!” The door swung open. Since this was the smallest office in the history of offices, that resulted in the door smacking Paul in the face. With a hand over his bleeding nose, he turned his glare upon the visitor, one Novel-Idea.

    “You were supposed to be here hours ago.” Except it came out something like “Ou er spsed here hrgo” due to the current state of his nose.

    Novel shrugged. “Blame T.O.M. We gonna do those reviews or what?”

    Paul stared incredulously. “Ou evn’t dn urrs?”

    “Not yet, nope.”

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    6 comments · 3,004 views
  • 20 weeks
    SA Reviews #121

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.

    The room was lit by faint orange candlelight, barely enough to see by, but the sole occupant didn’t mind. In fact, he prefered the dim glow as it added to the mystique and allure of his persona. Words and phrases came to him more easily in this atmosphere, not to mention that it had a soothing effect on his mind. Everything in place, Ebon Quill raised the quill that was his namesake and dipped it into an inkwell. He held the quill to a piece of parchment, hands poised to write the first word.

    The door to his room burst open and a bright light flicked on.

    “Ack!” Ebon Quill’s first word became a jagged line across the paper. Fuming, he scrunched up the ruined parchment into a wad and tossed it into a nearby waste bin.

    “Jeez, man, how do you even see?” Intern asked as he crossed the room where Ebon Quill sat.

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    8 comments · 2,958 views

Story Reviews » SA Reviews #104 · 11:05pm Sep 1st, 2017

Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.

Methodical fingers fell on the keyboard. Ticks and clacks and tacks echoed through the dreary cubicle halls of the corporate office space. Bleary-eyed and coffee-deprived, Matthew sat in front of the screen with the lethargic determination of the recently dead. The computer monitor, though searingly bright, was comparatively dim to the fluorescent lights that flickered on the ceiling.

Then Red showed up holding a squirrel-sized newspaper and a human-sized coffee mug, which was full of assorted nuts. He slugged a mouthful down and barely chewed.

“Ha ha ha!” the squirrel said. “Turns out Pontchartrain really did track mud in the house! I love that comic.”

“Red, you’re reading the editorial section, and it’s almost four,” Matthew said, diligently not looking up from his screen. “I’m trying to finish these reviews. I haven’t seen you all day and I wanted to keep that streak going.”

Red hopped up on Matthew’s shoulder, spilling nuts all over the keyboard and ignoring the other reviewer’s cry of distress. “Oh, Matt, I know you used to be some kinda freelancer back at your old job, but around here we do things differently. You’re just some crazy nonconformist. That’s why I call you my D.O.G.E.!”

Matthew sputtered. “Your… doge? What are you talking about? Let me finish my reviews!”

“No no, I finished mine hours ago, I’ll help you!” Red hopped onto the keyboard and jumped on seemingly random keys. The computer made a strange noise before the monitor blipped, and came back all blue. Matthew shook with horror as he read the on-screen message.

Flippant system error. Computer over. Reviews=bad idea.

Red smiled vacantly. “I like the color blue.”


With Celestia out on vacation for a week, Cadance sees a fine opportunity to spend some time with her Auntie Luna, who's now in control of Equestria for that time. She's always known Luna to be a bit... different, but she never thought she'd find herself suspecting her Auntie Luna of trying to take over Equestria again. Is she simply over-thinking things, or is something truly the matter with Auntie?

From the very first chapter, I was hooked. It wasn’t a single sentence or an especially strong description that convinced me the story was worth reading. I had to settle in and wait and listen to what it had to say. The manner in which this story is written is just as important as the story it is telling. Princess Cadance wants to know what Luna is thinking. That is the mystery. Princess Luna’s thoughts are about as obscure as her own night sky. That is the obstacle Cadance must overcome.

I don’t have to say that I was engaged simply because the premise is so unique--there are not many stories featuring Cadance as a main character, and fewer in such a thoughtful and insightful peek into her psyche. “Character study” does this story a disservice. It is a peek behind the curtains, a lovely and subdued stroll through the minds of two characters often buried beneath fanon or shunted to side roles. We learn about Luna along with Cadance, and we learn about Cadance as she learns about Luna.

Princess Luna is as good as I’ve ever read; from glimpses of a mind older and more mysterious than Equestria itself, yet lost and unable to cope with the world, to the tiny hints through body language the story conveys. Princess Cadance wears her naivete and curiosity like a well-fitted glove, which also happens to mirror the mood the reader gets into while exploring the mystery of Luna alongside her. The pacing is spot-on, every character seems ready to jump from the pages as a fully-fleshed creature, and it gives me the warm feeling the MLP show did when I first saw it airing. Highly recommended.

So, CoffeeBean is one of my favorite authors. And with good reason. But as this is not so much about him as it is the story, I shall begin my review.

It’s set Mid-Season 2, where Cadance wants to get to know Luna more. So, she does. And this wasn’t kidding when it said it was a slice of life. But we also get a large amount of mystery to go with it, as no one is really sure of what’s happening. And then we get this giant tension. And it builds, and builds, and builds. And then the resolution finally comes, and... it’s solved in two paragraphs of talking.

Don’t get me wrong, I love this story. In fact, that is my only complaint. Everything else was spot on, to even better than spot on. From characterizations, to pacing, even to magical capabilities. So I hereby challenge you to go and read it. As in, now.

Fancy Pants' place in Canterlot's social hierarchy gives him certain obligations. One of these is the hosting of a number of balls, dinner parties and so on. Tonight he will be putting on a small, intimate "At Home" affair for just a few guests. Sadly, Jet Set and Upper Crust will be among their number. Before all that, though, Fancy Pants and his faithful butler, Silver Cloud, need to make the final preparations.

You know you’re in for a good time with Fancypants. He’s basically the eccentric uncle who lets you play with knives from that time he was a super spy undercover as a clown at the circus. I think the word that best describes this fic is “voice.” From the very start I could hear everything Fancypants said in his voice, and imagine the mannerisms he used very well. Some fics aren’t about something that “happens” as much as they are what the characters are like while a thing is happening, in this case preparations for a party. Fancypants’ ever-anxious butler was a fun addition to the mix. I found this fic quite entertaining, and I’m always in the mood for authors that take the time to write about ponies you might not expect to make good stories out of.

I swear, I am not obsessed with Loganberry. This one was chosen by redsquirrel. That out of the way, let’s jump in.

It’s basically a glimpse into the more private thoughts of Fancy Pants. I admit, I’ve never really liked him. I’ve always shied away from stories with him. But when this was recommended to me, I had to read it. And I found myself enjoying Fancy Pants. Loganberry did such a good job making sure that everything Fancy did, thought, or said was spot on to his character in the show. And not only do I respect that, I liked it.

So if I can like a story based on a character I don’t care for, then why would you not read this?

Love and Hope once shone bright from a gleaming crystal city, only to be lost to the evils of indifference and despair. This is a tale of the leaders who built an empire based upon those virtues, and the two newly weds who are about to realize their shared destiny in reclaiming it.

Mmm, delicious, delicious world-building. It’s as sweet and savory as any freshly-excavated cup full of assorted nuts and seeds a squirrel can find!

This is a history of the Crystal Empire, from its founding to its fall and its eventual rise again, creating its own legend with two endearing OCs. They are compelling while still being archetypes of myth, interesting without needing to be riddled with extraneous flaws, and generally just cozy to read about. It isn’t long or deep, but if it tried, I feel like it might have gone off the rails. This story found a warm, friendly core to settle around and did not stray far from it, to its credit.

I really just like hearing about ancient stories of ancient times, you know?

Ever wondered about the history of the Crystal Empire? Well, look no further, as this is the story for you! At 30k words, it takes a little longer to read than the other stories featured, but it’s well worth it.

It’s about two OCs who don’t fall trap to the classic “OP-ness” or “Feel bad for me” archetypes. They’re just normal ponies, with normal thoughts, and normal actions. Well, mostly normal. They are the type of characters who are easy to read about. Also, worldbuilding. So much worldbuilding. Now go read.

Everyone knows the story of the Iron Wing. They all know how fiercely she fought at the battle of Rainbow Falls. Soldiers measure their worth by where they were when she routed Sombra at the gates of Canterlot. Even now, there's a pilgrimage some take that follows her entire campaign.

And anyone who knows anything about the Iron Wing knows about the Demolition Crew. The story of the Crystal Collapse is one fraught with thrills and chills for fillies of all ages, and the closing of the Ghastly Gorge continues to inspire and terrify all who hear of it.

But legends seldom begin as the titans they become. Heroes are not born, but made, through fire and pain and loss. There isn't a pony alive who doesn't know the story of the heroes, but the story of the soldiers who became those heroes is one known only to them.

This is not the story of Iron Wing and the Demolition Crew. This is the story of Rainbow Dash and the Pie sisters.

This is another story about “voice.” It’s also a story about the Crystal Empire, sans all the love that it used to have. It’s set in the war between Sombra and Equestria during that alternate timeline Twilight visited, and is simply three vignettes involving three soldiers: Rainbow Dash, Pinkie, and Maud. Each of them is hurt by the war in their own way, and the tales aren’t about how they dealt with their problems later, but live them in the now. They are visceral and clearly are meant to be read as coming from the heart, since they’re all in first person, and while they are certainly dark and violent, there is that slight undercurrent of determination, hope, and friendship keeping them and their sanity together. It delves a little too deep into its own gore and overblown exclamations of hate, but overall it doesn’t lose sight of itself. Yet even still, the characters are well-realized. The way each of them spoke fit them quite well.

Now, is a story about war and horror truly pony? Well, that’s up for debate. One can go on and on about whether the show even lives up to its own idyllic setting and themes most of the time. I just know it kept me reading, and even though these are very, very different characters from what we see in the show, this story still managed to convince me they were the same old ponies we know and love.

So, you know that Season 5 finally where there’s the Crystal War Timeline? Yeah, this is more about that. And I love it. That timeline is probably my favorite out of them all for sheer coolness, and this story plays into that coolness.

But it also delivers some serious feels like an arrow piercing your heart. And it does this through looking at what we saw of Pinkie, Rainbow, and Maud in the show, and building up that characterization in about 500 words each. Then it uses the other 2k words in each chapter to tell a story. A story that not only builds on top of the other character’s stories, but provides more foundation for them.

And then there’s taking a silly topic, like Maud talking to rocks, and making it serious. And having rocks speak to her. And I LOVE it.

Do be warned, though, that with this seriousness, comes realism. In the show, it was “oh, that’s cool.” But here? Here, you will know that it. Is. A. War. But if you’re fine with that, then you will love this. Now go read it.

“So you’re saying it just started smoking after Red stuffed his nuts into the CD tray?” alexmagnet the IT guy who nobody ever saw until problems like this arose said.

Matthew shrugged, standing safely behind the wall of another cubicle and peeking over the top at the melting mess of plastic. “Yeah, I thought the blue screen was bad, but when it caught on fire I figured things had gone beyond what I could salvage.”

“Did you try to turn it on and off?” asked alex.

“Yeah, the button fell off and Red ate it.”

alex sighed, running a hand through his luxurious hair. “Well, I can try to see if anything made it out of the hard drive. But apart from that…”

“Hey guys!” Red said, hopping up on the cubicle’s edge. “Don’t forget to check out that email I sent to every single Angel and all their friends and all their friends and all their friends! There’s this sweet 2 gigabyte attachment that you’re all gonna love!”

alex and Matthew stared at each other. As they watched and Red’s insidious email was opened, computers across the office attempted to open the gigantic attachments, and gave up the ghost with sparks and smoke.

“... I like computers,” Red said, smiling vacantly.

Feel free to visit our group for more information and events, and to offer some recommendations for future rounds. See you all next time!

Report Wanderer D · 4,319 views ·
Comments ( 18 )
Author Interviewer


yeah they should take care of that



They also got the title of the story wrong! Whoops!

Oh my god! Thank you so much for the absolutely glowing review! I... my heart pounded the whole time reading this. I'm overjoyed the work I put in has paid off.

I don't even read these for the reviews; I read them for the insane world the reviewers live in.

Uh, WD? Can you fix the third story. First, here’s the picture

And second, it’s Through Ice and Shadow, not Snow.


You’ve barely scratched the surface of this world. I have seen terrors that would break your mind if I even spoke of them. I have heard the call of death itself. And I have smelled the beginning of the universe. It smelled like egg-gas.

Wanderer D

Has this group reviewed "Celestia's Relaxing Vacation" by headless rainbow? Cuz that shit already broke my mind pretty good.

4655646 If it's good and you want us to review it, head on over to the group recommendation thread located here.:twilightsmile:

HELL NO nobody should ever read that story it's fucked up lol.

Oy, D, why is Red's avatar borked? :rainbowderp:

Wanderer D

4656321 I'm not sure. Ask Red.

Also, the last one posted was #109. Hmmm.

Another good-looking batch! Gonna have to queue up The Luna Papers for, y'know, reasons.

Also, glad to have y'all back (numbering oddities aside). It's been a little quiet.

You're damn right, you're gonna have to queue up 'The Luna Papers'! :trollestia:

I'm wondering if the misnumbering and borked images is part of the short story joke...

~Skeeter The Lurker

Shouldn't this be #110?

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