I lost my little girl today. · 2:05pm Aug 28th, 2017
I loved Alice. It was a privilege looking after her. The moment I saw her in the orphanage I cried, I knew she was the one.
That's why it's heartbreaking to know she has committed suicide, I wish there was more that I could have done. I should have asked her how she was more often.
Upon further investigation of her apartment, she had 24 sleep assist pills, 16 codienes, and about 30 ibuprofen. No wonder.
She called me.
"Hey Alice what's going on"
"Mum I need help"
"Why, what's happened"
"I can't get up, I made a mistake, I don't want to die"
It was to late, she was very delirious when I got to her apartment, she kept fainting and falling asleep. My husband held her and I drove to a hospital. The Doctors couldn't save her unfortunately.
Can anybody who knew Alice really well tell me a few things she told you, or what happened to her on this site?
Thank you, the funeral is next week.
I never really talked to her personally but she was a very nice individual who would try her best to help people with any issues they were having and I know she was an extremely kind and selfless person. Im in shock right now... Im so sorry for you two! I hope the best for you and your husband.
Again I'm so sorry for what happened. Sorry but Ive told you everything i know, sorry it wasn't much.
Again, I am so sorry. Everyone here talks about how kind and selfless she was. How undeserving she was of all she went through. I can't think of anything to say except I will keep you all in my prayers and I wish you all the very best.
no...... no no no no no no no no nonononononononono.....
I honestly can't stop thinking about this. I cant imagine what it feels like to lose your daughter. I know these "hope you feel better"'s aren't really helping you much, but I honestly hope from the bottom of my heart that everything will be okay for you and your family.
Rest in piece my friend.
I know how you feel, I lost someone once but to a heart attack... I hope you all heal.
I should have said more.... I should have been there. I'm sorry kid....
Another friend gone before their time....
I wish I could be of any help as to how things escalated to the point of this....I...I...I wish she would have PM'd me for help! She knew my PM box is always open for advice and a helping virtual hand...
...rest easy my friend. May God welcome you with open arms.....ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Right, I don't want to be "that person", but I don't buy it.
Mothers of dead children don't immediately log into their obscure social media accounts and grieve with online people they've never met, of course having perfect knowledge of how to use comments, blogs, etc. while still retaining the same writing style as their daughter.
My condolences if this tragedy has actually happened, but eh, probably not. I've seen many cases like this before on here and they always turn out to be very much alive.
I really have no tolerance for using suicide as an attention-seeking strategy.
4650569 Do you have proof that they're lying? I can't think of many people who would do this.
4650589
The style of using "sub-paragraphs".
That is, manually starting a new line within a paragraph, but not leaving a blank line.
Like this.
It's pretty rare. I do it occasionally, and notice it when other people do. Weird co-incidence that SPS and her mother both do it.
There are other tell-tale similarities in terms of grammar, punctuation, and overall writing style too.
Plus, as Sleepy Panda mentioned, a mother immediately logging in to fimfiction and posting this message, based on the timings of the blog posts, less than two hours after her daughter's death, seems pretty unlikely.
Yeah, people do unfortunately do this. And although it could be genuine, I've seen this sort of thing too often to take it at face value, especially in light of the hints that it's fake.
4650589
I don't have proof. Just common sense.
Last time I spoke out against someone who "died", I was viciously attacked and lost friends. Months later people find she was still very much alive.
As I said, this is not the first time this has happened. Over the years I've been here it has happened over and over and over again. Usually with cancer, though.
Not saying I'm heartless. I am worried. If someone has to resort to faking suicide for attention, there are probably bigger issues going on there.
But no, I think the chances of her genuinely being dead are about 0. Her adopted mother is just SimplyPressStart.
4650621 You have valid points. I won't deny that. However, I simply refuse to believe that in this case. She does state that this was the last thing on her tab(or something similar to that). I can see the implications but I doubt this is malice. I may not know them but I feel like this is true. More then likely, she(the mother) wanted to inform her friends, followers, eta... That's my two cents on this. If you disagree, I respect your opinion. I'm still going to stand by my belief this is true until proven false. Thank you for being discreet.
I'm sorry. I guess I was too late again. I have experience with trying to help people who are, too selectively withdrawn, and beyond my capacity to, easily help. But it was the first time I saw these signs so deeply on the internet. And I'm sort of, withdrawn myself. If I weren't busy on personal problems these days I would've been more thorough sooner. I'm sorry, I didn't dare say the right thing hastily enough before taking a break while tending something else.
I also just don't trust my knowledge at contacting good authorities, then those signs I saw. It reminds me of past failures. I'm sorry for my negligence.
I just didn't know if she had friendly contact good enough, and forgot about time limits. ...
Honestly this might be part my fault. I stopped interacting at a very bad junction. I tend to forget how much I can draw the attention of others. I ugh...
She was yearning but withdrawn. Some bullies saw her post where she mentioned some horrors of the past. The people here focused on the bullies rather than her when she withdrew, and even I did so without explaining in private. I had planned on doing that later, but caught in my own embarrasement and personal hubris. I'm busy, but when you ignore someone because you are busy....
I'm sorry. I was too negligent. Everyone subconsciously thinks "she has someone closer to talk to" so when she withdraws, no one helps her out of the gutter.
Dammit, dammit. Emotions are experiences. Nor wrong nor right, but when someone asks whether those that abused them are right... I'm sorry. I'm used to being harrassed to stay socially isolated from all but those who harass me.
I'll say this though. She might've been emotionally driven to think she was too much existence for the trouble she gave others. And I too was like that many times. Only I was very critical minded. Became so by necessity because I had something to live for. I, should've maybe contacted you. She spoke kindly of her mother, but I don't really socialize yet.
I think she was tormented because she didn't want to be a burden. And that unfortunately, she couldn't solve the thoughts that came of those feelings. She wasn't the sort to blame anyone for what she felt. But couldn't find the answer on her own, and didn't want to burden others in her search.
I wasn't expert enough to handle this problem. I'm sorry for your loss. And my loss too actually. I had some interest in her, but I dared not speak that. And convincing her would've been long.
I didn't step in the door properly. I presumed she might have someone else. I didn't want to fuddle my emotions right now. I'm sorry. People live for themselves, but her emotions were subjugated by those who harrased her.
I could've passed the bar, but I have no one I emotionally trust in private so. This is just how it is. I'm sorry for your loss, she held no ill towards you. I'm not sure if she could hold any towards people. Sometimes good opportunities are just lost... it's not your fault. My condolences.
4650626 My apologize if I came off as rude(attacking, eta). I was merely asking. I'm well aware your not heartless despite not knowing you. I simply wanted to know your thoughts. As I told 4650621, I don't believe this is false. That's all. I hope that explains my comment.
*Note, I noticed someone placed a dislike on Gus comment. I didn't do that and to balance it out, I put a like. Not sure why it was disliked.
4650628 No need for apologies. If it makes you feel any better, I just got the news 40 minutes ago. Sometimes, we cannot fix every problem that lies in the world(I've been there...). You did what you could and in the end, that's all one can do. It is unfortunate but we can only pray she has a good afterlife. I'm not religious but I pray for her and her parents(or step parents? Correct me if in wrong). To SPS, there isn't much I can say that hasn't been said but I'm sorry for your lost. It's never easy to lose a loved one. I may not be able to do/say much but if you need someone to talk to, I- no... we will be here. That is all.
Edit: For the record, the UK doesn't run orphanages anymore, either.
I don't mean to imply that you're, like, lying about anything of this... but I've seen this kind of thing again and again on FIMFiction and it's hard for me to take it at face value anymore, since most of the time it turns out to be fake. It's especially suspicious to me because you and your daughter seem to have the same writing style.
At any rate, I'm truly sorry for your loss, if this is actually real.
4650652
she's not from America. she's from England.
4650656
The UK doesn't have orphanages either.
4650658
Please don't be rude. If you disagree with me, tell me so in a polite manner and I might eventually change my mind. This is a serious issue and it should be discussed without petty insults.
I'm sorry I offended you, though.
4650656
Very similar system here in the UK. My step-sister adopted a boy recently, so I'm vaguely familiar with it.
4650652
So we are supposed to wait. Get the picture of the corpse, to excuse ourselves to act like human beings? Some of use would rather pretend that there are some decent people left on earth even if it's false. Until proven that this was false, I'll behave as if a friend just died and I didn't do enough to save her. Thank you.
4650668
Fair enough.
I guess I'm just used to people doing this. Fake suicides aren't uncommon on this site, and I've been jerked around enough times that I'm suspicious of anyone trying to tell me something similar. Maybe it's my defense against it. I don't know.
4650670
I gotta say, this site gets a lot of real and fake drama.
Everything's gotta be taken with a grain of salt.
Either way, it is sad if it's true.
4650652
You have a point. And it isn't impossible from what I know. But it's okay to let children convince you of the existence of Santa Claus.
And if it is indeed "fake", then people and companies can do what they do.
If you break into a church. Please have warrant and legal business, or have the decency to not disrupt the choir. You didn't need to tag us up with reply tags. Seriously. Rude.
I'm not the sort to donate money to strangers. And emotional pitying in public is a crime even dogs aren't even accused of. Don't be a brute.
4650670
At this point I don't think anyone can really blame you for taking something like this with more than a few grains of salt. Anyone who has been on the site for more than a year or two knows exactly why, because you know what kind of people can be around here.
4650690
1) this is an open blog, for anyone to comment on.
2) my business is making observations and commentary about the blog's contents.
HOWEVER,
Fair enough. I've removed them. Thank you for pointing that out. Sometimes I think my words are more important than they really are.
Thank you for at least conceding that, even if you don't agree with me.
I would argue that this is different from Santa Claus, but I'm not the expert on either. I just post here.
4650664
Because no one seems to ninja me, can I ask if you're a site moderator? (...)
4650664
Ok sorry.
4650701
Ha.
If I were a site moderator, FIMFiction would look more like
i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/03/14/article-1366126-0155A3D9000004B0-283_964x610.jpg
No, I just post impulsively and then edit my post a bunch when I realize the initial post was completely retarded.
4650702
It's okay. I don't blame you for being defensive. Regardless of what the truth is, I'm sorry this happened.
4650709
"retarded" lol.
Well you're in the clear.
Just mind that kids can be dumb and authority shouldn't be the essence of law. If there's true trust abuse, take it out police style. With real cops! Preferrably! Yada yada. You get it.
Stay sharp, I suppose.
How awful...
4650721
My original post said something like "your friend has a problem and you should help her face it", I think. I don't believe shunning/hating people who do this kind of thing helps; it's better to just call them on it and figure out why they do it, and then help them find other ways to cope with the feelings that make them do it. I dunno. It just doesn't seem right to make it worse when someone's obviously hurting, beyond what's necessary to get them to face the truth.
But, again, I could be wrong about this.
...Hm. Apparently she's been banned. Huh.
@lurking mod: whodunnit and why? I don't see any rulebreaking, just poor choices.
Hello there, I for one would like to believe this story of death even if harsh to take in.
I never knew her, never followed her, she was new and had no stories.
But I took a quick glance at her blogs, and I can understand her line of thinking, because it's something that I want to do, that a part of us want to do, but we resist it because we find hope.
Hope is almost impossible to kill or destroy, I've always had hope for the future, and to commit such an act it either requires that hope to be gone or changed into something terrible and negative, which takes time, it isn't a one day thing of "Oh, hey, I'm feeling sad, I'm going to kill myself today!" if suicide was anything like that everyone might be dead by now.
But anyhow,
No, it takes time, day by day self-deception, and if you listen to the negative long enough the positive will be drowned out, and suicide isn't an attempt to die, but a call for attention, an extreme one at that, and by her blogs I could tell she wanted attention, real love, affection, a connection, and I'm sad and sorry that she never got one, IDK if I could've done anything, or if you either, but please, don't blame yourself, if you keep asking what if this happened you'll never be able to move on. There wasn't anything you could do, not in a way that could've backfired on you, if she felt people weren't listening to her then the more you pressed into her negatively the more upset she could become. This is NOT your fault, the more you try to place blame the more you try to justify or reason this, but you have to remember, death isn't always logical, it's emotional, which can rather be complex for anyone to explain. It might not be easy to accept, but it's the truth, it's not anyone's fault per say, blame can be placed equally, but in the end, when death comes, blame is not relevant anymore, and why?
Because this was their choice in the end, their thoughts, their mind, if they honestly believed they had no hope, there's not much anyone in the world to do to stop them or change their minds, after all, a human mind, when determined, is the hardest thing to change in the world.
I would also like to believe the comments of her being selfless and understanding, which makes sense, after all, in order to try to get attention and acceptance in return she has to try harder to earn/get that than most other people, it's something I do, and I try it many different ways.
I for one, believe she's in a better place, I don't know if you're religious, and I don't care either, but just know that there are people out there that believe she is in a better place now, and happy, and there will be people to support you and help you too. Don't be a fool, accept that help, it's okay to admit defeat and that you need it, it's only the oeople that refuse help, the ones that shut themselves out, those are the people that find it harder to accept it, and the less thet accept it, the easier the lies become to accept.
I hope things get better for you, but please, whatever you do, don't give up. Words DO have power, if they didn't the words others said to your daughter and herself would NEVER lead to her death, words can only have as much power as you give them, and you have an amazing ability, we all do, we can choose to accept and deny the words said to us, and I feel the more we accept to expand our own opinion while not entirely changing us, the more we grow. And remember change will always come, growth is optional.
Until next time, peace out and good luck.
Why is it that those that deserve to live die, while those that deserve to die gets to live? Really can anyone give me the answer if you can
4650738
Well, she technically did site abuse. And I guess the site has a steep mechanic for handling punishment.
What's tough with withdrawn, not fully honest people is that they are hard to trust and gain the trust of.
Some people may really need a chat/walk in the park. Someone should maybe sting an email. But I'll consider such things later if I ever do. Heh. (Busy)
Propaganda is built on truths desired, usually. Nice chatting.
This time I do have a good reason to ping everybody involved.
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So I just spoke to a site moderator and asked him to compare the IPs of SimplyPressStart and JustMedotnet. You know, the person who claimed to be a bully of Allison's from school in the "I was bullied horrifically" thread, and said all kinds of nasty stuff about her, such as:
Well, it turns out that they have the same IP address. This means that Start and her apparent schoolyard bully are, in fact, the same person; or at the very least, that they use the same computer and log into the same user account on that computer.
You draw your own conclusions as to what this implies.
4650792
Huh the more you Know.
4650792 Considering the implications of this, do you mind screenshotting the site mod's reply?
4650792
I'm conflicted I have no way of knowing for sure one way or the other. I'll explain to you haw I see it. Ether she's dead and people are pissing all over it witch would piss me off. Or this is fake and someone thought this would be funny witch would also piss me off. But as I said I have no way of knowing for sure. So I'm just saying out of it for the most part.
I didn't know her for very long or very well, but I wanted to be there for her if she needed me.
Thing is I only just realized that I never clicked follow on her page. I don't know why maybe I just forgot with everything that happened that day. But I feel like an idiot, and I'm sorry I wasn't there for her.
Edit: Sorry about posting this twice.
I may not know you but you and your family have my deepest sympathies. May she R.I.P
4650796
I asked him if I could post his reply (I don't leak official stuff from my Discord chats with the mods unless I'm given permission) and this is what he said.
So, I guess, you can either take my word at face value or not. My suggestion would be to PM a moderator and ask them to compare the IPs yourself.
(Also, he says (to everyone) to stop reporting JustMedotnet all of a sudden. That account has been banned for a while now.)
See https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/757589/i-lost-my-little-girl-today#comment/4650821 for more information on this subject.
4650792
Yeah, what vren55 said. Any chance you can screenshot the reply so we know it's real?
Cause if it is, then something fishy is going on here.
4650738
I reported this user for the following reason: "Account still posting after supposed death."
I kind of recall a somewhat similar thing from quite a while back where one of the mods basically said that if a friend or family member wanted to provide information of a user passing away, they should make their own account instead of using said deceased's account to do so...
4650792
Well then.
4650817
Best I can do is tell you to PM a mod and ask them to compare the IPs yourself. Trust me, you'll get the same answer.
My hands are kind of tied on this particular subject because this wasn't really an official thing, it just came up in a chat with a mod who's my friend. I'm pretty much globally disallowed from posting stuff out of Discord chats with mods unless I have permission, because of concerns that I might portray things in ways they should not, or appear to be voicing an opinion that the site owner disagrees with.
Also, because my staff friend asked me not to screenshot him, and I'll respect that.
I would, however, like to point out that ELDORADO is the best moderator on FIMFiction, ever.
This is completely unrelated to my suggestion to PM a moderator and ask for an IP comparison.
4650815
"I have proof that could prove what I'm saying is 100% true I'm, just not gonna show it because reasons. Not saying it not true but you do realize how sketchy that sounds?
4650824
Of course I know how sketchy that sounds, haha.
If you really want to know, go PM a moderator and ask for an IP comparison yourself. Find out the truth.
Unrelated: Eldorado is the best moderator. Better than meeester, even.
4650792 Did they state where it was? Because it could be a school IP(A friend of mine was a victim of this so that's why in asking). If so, that kinda null and voids the punishment. If not, then the punishment still stands. Just wondering is all.