Pipe Land 12 & 13 · 4:03pm Aug 8th, 2017
Well, the show's back, how 'bout that? :O I finally get to change my avatar! You can read below to find out why, if it's not obvious. :3
Unlike previous Pipe Land blogs, this one also includes the three latest EQG shorts! (Spoilers: they're better than the first four.) You can crtl-f "Discordant" if you don't wanna scroll through or read them, but then I will be a sad pinata. :C
Monday Blues
Okay. This is the good shit. It's another music video, and though the song isn't nearly as good as Mad Twience… Fuck, where do I even begin?
We get to see the (most likely self-imposed) squalor Sunset lives in. Also, Twilight's room. The contrast between the two, both how they act and how they live, is fantastic. Sci-Twi carries an emergency backup umbrella in her backpack just like me I haven't felt this close to Twilight in literal seasons. There's Fluttershy with a nest hat. Flat-maned human Pinkie Pie.
But most importantly? THE SUNLIGHT IS STRONG WITH THIS ONE. :V And that's all we needed. Five oudda five, tenouddaten, best short.
Pet Project
Okay, so this is Find a Pet with Sunset Shimmer. Surprisingly, it's the best non-video short to date. Like the others, it's just this single idea, your standard 1,000-word storyless fanfic. But everything about it was charming and fun, and of course, Sunset finding a pet is kind of a big character moment for her. (Also, what she picks? Fantastic. Also, Sunset is not a pet yet.) Fluttershy gets points for the adorable outfit she's wearing at the start, which she then loses for saying "everypet". Also, Spike is a right little shit, and I love it. Did they just release all the shitty ones first or something?
Subs Rock
I have so many thoughts about that title, none of them family-friendly.
Welcome to the only three minutes of character development Principal Celestia will ever get. If I sound a little salty about that, it's because this feels like the watered-down summary of an episode-length short. Show us Celestia dealing with the day-to-day of school and reminiscing about the past! Dwell for more than five seconds on why VP Luna isn't sufficient — in the eyes of all comers — to deal with the problems that crop up while her sister is subbing. Let us know what happens in the classroom while she's out. (Seriously, would anyone listen to Sci-Twi?) Have her fight Rainbow Dash. Compared to the first four shorts, this one's still good, I'm just miffed because I see the obvious potential they so roughly squandered.
Anyway, episodes.
Discordant Harmony
No, Discord going for the crusts is hilarious. :D It's a good way to start this episode off. Also, the fingers eating the sandwiches, while creepy, is a good visual pun.
Man, Fluttershy is a really good friend. Like, more friend than most people deserve. Especially Discord.
Rotating sheep dryer. XD
And then Fluttershy leaves the scene and the episode is instantly boring.
"You don't have to tell me that!" And then he tells himself something else that needn't be told.
Jetpack-into-teleport: more great visual gagging.
Goddamn, that tea pony is adorable as hell.
I really do love the singing tea bags and the little song they sing. :) They're just so happy! We've come a long way from 'dancing candles' is my point.
>Discord needs validation :V
Why do they keep the tea sets stocked with tea? That seems like a bad idea, long-term.
I realize this is the second episode this season after Honest Apple (well, maybe second, I'm not keeping count), where Pinkie Pie shows up and actually has a useful role. A big improvement since S4.
Also, since we're keeping Discord around and all, I really think we need more scenes with him and Pinkie palling around.
Discord filled with self-doubt about his own weirdness is different, but I hesitate to say 'good'. I mean, it's kind of dumb, despite being a sign that maybe he's not quite so full of himself as he used to be (see also Dungeons & Discords), I just… I guess I just don't care? Yeah, that's it.
I really wish Discord-with-glasses had smacked Discord with that newspaper at some point. That's a missed opportunity, that is!
This cleanup montage could have been tedious to watch, but the upside-down lava-vaccuuming is worth the price of admission by itself.
"Pinatas hate bats." In case you wondered about my avatar. :V
"I'm pretty sure Fluttershy likes gravity" is one of the funniest things Discord has ever said.
I'm not sure what that first outfit is a reference to, but I actually liked it.
I really wish Fluttershy had commented on her 'trip' there.
It's cute that Fluttershy was expecting a Discord tea party.
I also love how fucking boring and awkward this scene is. And that it doesn't go on very long.
Also, can we just talk for a minute about how "Discord has to be chaotic or he will die" is extremely morbid? Like, this is really, really morbid, here. :B
Fluttershy being adorably ineffective at things remains a great joke.
I don't think it's so much that she's putting things in disarray that helps, but that she's messing up the feng shui. Discord accidentally got too much feng shui in his house and it's killing him. :B
It's ever-so-slightly exasperating that she just so happens to be doing the exact opposite things that Discord did to make the place this way. Just a tired trope is all.
Portraying Fluttershy and Discord as honest, believable friends aside, this episode feels pretty substanceless, and on a second watch, I blame the moral. It's just so simplistic. As I said earlier, watching Discord constantly fail at doing simple things is tedious. He's the Mr. Noodle of My Little Pony. But the episode overall isn't that bad, entertaining and definitely on the high end of reformed Discord episodes, not that that's saying much. 2.5/5
The Perfect Pear
After seeing the fandom's reaction to this episode, I'm not sure I'm ready for a second go-round. D:
Oh god, oh god, he gives Apple Bloom the jam for free and doesn't even say anything I am already dying inside because she doesn't know that's her grandpa D: Cuz you know he knows, as soon as he hears "I'm Apple—", and he just says nothing. ;_; Foreknowledge is a curse.
I'm not kidding though when I say I was all ready to write this episode off because of "PEAR JAM?!" Like, AJ is all ready to turn her sister into the Bureau of Apples to be cleansed of un-Apple thoughts. Fanfic is bad for you, man.
I do like that they make very clear from the outset that this feud is Granny's domain. We never do find out the reason why it happened, but whatever the case, you know Granny had a hoof in perpetrating, exacerbating and/or extenuating it.
We can ask Goldie Delicious! Her special talent is historical exposition! :V
This week on Hoarders: Equestria…
The cat ball still gets me. XD That is how you make an entrance!
...Goddammit, I love that she goes "there was another [farm]" and skips right over the Carrots. XD
I have to wonder if the short hair means Granny's older than when we last saw her young. It's not as great as the pigtails, though. >:B
I mean, I guess the feud was just because A) they were farming/market rivals, and B) Granny and Grand Pear were dicks to each other?
Really, they shoulda just fucked.
Goddammit, baby shipping is the cutest shit. I still say they were just babbling at each other and could understand it because babies.
Hey, and Big Mac gets to say some stuff! Let's not overlook that!
Man, if there's a lesson in this episode, it's that pear butter doesn't look too much different from apple butter. Like, taken in context, that's fucking deep.
God, the Big Lebowski joke. XD Also, as someone pointed out, Burnt Oak = #savetree :V
You realize this is basically Cutie Mark Chronicles by way of Slice of Life? Background/side/new characters telling historical drama. That's what makes the main portion of this episode work.
If anything tells us that the Apple parents are dead, it's the way Burnt Oak says "Come to talk about your dad?"
Good on Bright Mac for fessing up like he did there. Tells you a lot about him real quick.
God, and the way Oak tears up when Big Mac asks if they can come back and hear more stories. D:
"Well, cinnamon sugar on toast!" Goddammit, Mrs. Cake, how are you so cake?
CHIFFON SWIRL. WHAT DOES IT MEAN? D:
Seriously, between that and getting to hear Mrs. Cake's cutie mark story, this episode's just full of unexpected surprises!
...This is a flashback in a flashback, isn't it?
And you realize, since the songs actually happen, Mrs. Cake sang that whole thing to the Apples. After memorizing it when Pear Butter sang it to her. >.>
Bright Mac celebrating the anniversary — hourly, no less — of when they first met is just the dorkiest thing ever and it's great.
"Quiet, you." This is when the romance kicks into high gear and I'm just like AUUGGGHHH
Also, that guitar has four strings. Why Pinkie's only had two? >:| Conspiracy!
Seriously though, "I know that we are the perfect pair." Why isn't that the name of the song? @_@ I don't know why this bothers me like it does.
Yeah. The scene that still gets me is them dancing across the market from each other. Like, they're held apart physically, because their families hate each other, but they don't let it get in the way of their love. They find ways to get around it, to have their own thing regardless of what anypony else says. ;_; It's so tragic and beautiful aaaaaaahhhhhhh
Yeah, and I am just super-glad they made sure to have the Mare in the Moon.
The way she pauses and blushes and covers her mouth. ;_;
Yeah, even dragging the story out to one more pony is very Cutie Mark Chronicles. XD
Also, the Mayor just jumps into the story right where Mrs. Cake left off. They planned this. :V
Oh god, the Mayor is so great. I love that they made sure she had pink hair, too! And I guess this means she's about the same age as Mrs. Cake, and as the Apple parents would have been, which is probably why she dyes her mane.
Anyone else notice Burnt Oak was the best man? Colt? Stallion? c.c Groomstallion? 'Cuz there's a Best Mare, so… Ah, forget it.
Anyway, I love this obviously earth pony wedding ceremony tradition (fuck what the Mayor says, this is obviously tradition!), with the seeds being planted to twine together. You know as well as I do, that's fucking magic at work right there.
KISSIES
Note, she kissed the groom first. :V
I love how everyone in the background clears the fuck out.
"Are you makin' me choose?" God, what a heartbreaking line. She was all ready to unite the two warring clans, etc., and it's Grand Pear who keeps them apart. She didn't want to choose one or other, he made her because he was too pig-headed. God, Grand Pear is one of the great tragic figures of MLP:FiM.
I love, too, that Granny Smith accepts her right then. Like, Granny never liked her, hated her family, but she recognizes A) her son's made a decision, and B) this mare's just been abandoned by her own father. Granny may be as much at fault for the feud as Grand Pear, but she's no monster.
GOD AUGH THIS REUNION IS KILLING ME WHY IS THIS SO PERFECT
Like, the romance is the centerpiece, it takes up the bulk of the story and stands out for being well-crafted despite what's come before it in the show. (Do you realize that's the third wedding we've seen?) But at its heart, this is an episode about family, between the Apples learning about their parents and connecting with a relative they didn't know they had, Grand Pear and Granny Smith's pride keeping them from being friends, I just… It's such a strong emotional core, I don't even think Amending Fences hit this hard or this deep. It's a shame that, like that episode, I imagine The Perfect Pear isn't the kind of thing that will be fully appreciated by the target audience until they're a lot older.
I am crying about these horses crying about a tree. ;_;
Yeah, I think I'm gonna have to put this one above Daybreaker. I dunno why I was even the least bit disappointed the first time I saw this, but I know quality when I see it. 6/5
Also lol, I was gonna post something yesterday and forgot to OH WELL :B
And in case you wondered, the avatar was made by iisaw, who is far too kind to me. :3
I always feel like a heartless bastard for not tearing up at Perfect Pear. I loved it, it was a great ep, but I don’t cry easily.
Agreed on Subs Rock. I kept waiting for the punchline that when she kept getting called away, Twilight had been teaching the class in her place, and like she knew more than Celestia did or something. Or that Luna was doing this stuff on purpose for trolols. Nope. As you said, wasted potential.
For Monday Blues, I’ll just leave this here.
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At least "Subs Rock" gave us some promising material to explore with the principals.
I'm not sure, but I choose to believe that it's Discord as Mr. Darcy.
I didn't see a Pulp Fiction reference in "The Perfect Pair." Did you mean The Big Lebowski?
And yes, the long-distance dance may be one of the most beautiful moments in thr series.
Perfect Pear might be my favorite episode of the entire series. I've got a major weakness for touching family moments, especially ones involving the Apple family, and Applejack is my favorite pony. Finally learning about the Apple parents after 6 1/2 seasons, watching all of it and seeing how fantastically sweet it was and how perfect they are together, all through the lens of "these are the wonderful parents that AJ, Mac, and Bloom lost and that Bloom probably barely even got to know..."
I was an absolute teary wreck through pretty much the entire episode on the first viewing. Went from being teary to full-on mess by the end of the episode. It was beautiful and touching and half of me wishes that somehow the Apple parents are still around but just on another farm or something, while the other half acknowledges that this would be crazy and ruin most of what made this so beautifully sad.
Am I the only one who thinks Perfect Pair is just another shameless, uninteresting, and unfun Romeo And Juliet retelling?
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I'm sure a few others exist, somewhere. You might have to seek them out, for they would be well-hidden, choosing to hide rather than face the hordes of happy people who don't think that. I wish you luck, good sir.
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I'm sure it won't be hard. I just need to find people who want Applejack dead just as much as I do.
There was that time she showed up in Yakyakistan and bailed out
an entire kingdomlike, fourteen yaks.I might have literally shouted "Are you kidding me!?" at my screen when that happened. The Top family gets no respect :(
"A couple of our ancestors were dicks to each other" is how approximately 100% of real-life multigenerational feuds start, so I can buy a familial animosity based on nothing more than Shatner and Granny constantly trash-talking one another's produce.
I mean, that still works if they're in prison! Not for something namby-pamby like drug charges, though; for that tone of voice, it'd have to be "co-leaders of a cannibal cult" or something. Which, I think we can both agree, would be a perfectly sensible outcome for the world of FiM, and for the ponies we saw in those flashbacks specifically.
>Puts best episode of season above worst episode of season
>But has to think about it first
Reviewing in a nutshell, right there.
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That is definitely on purpose. :D
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Oh. Yeah. The movie I actually watched out of those two.
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It's not Romeo and Juliet, silly! They didn't die at the e--
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I mean Pinkie shows up when she's not the main focus. :B
You had better write that cannibal cult story now. :V
Also that episode was great and you are wrong. V: (Except that I can't argue with any of your reasons for not liking it. Reviewing in a nutshell.)
Oh, one more thing that I've yet to mention because my computer picked the worst possible time to crap out on me:
Granny Smith is officially the one green woman William Shatner's character never wanted to seduce.
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Oh my God that's an amazing background gag
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So CassandraMyOcIsBestPony?
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Do they despise Applejack?
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It's not too late for makeup sex ;)
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>worst episode
U wat m8?
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She kills off Applejack in most chapters of her main story. It's called "The Cassandra Chronicles"
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I was thinking:
Discord was dressed as Oscar Wilde when he came out that first time.
Mike
The skit was fine and all, but the goddamn Sunlight Shippers are going to be even more insufferable than before.
I'm not really against Sunlight, but it's so damn omnipresent it's starting to wear me down.
Sunset gets a pet, because feeling left out because all your friends have pets is a great reason to get one, especially for someone with questionable finances.
Although once I put down the adult hat, it was good fun. You know, for a 22-minute episode compressed into three.
Missed potential, though I do admit it's not unreasonable for said potential to come after we finally establish a bare-bones baseline for the character, which this short does. We learn Celestia is essential to the school, willing to get her hands dirty, and genuinely enjoys teaching.
As a Celestia fan, I'm happy. Even though "Three minutes of character development with no plot" is all you can say about it.
Like I said before, Discord's the one member of the heel-turns who didn't go "Ding! I'm good now!" and so earns my appreciation. Seeing him spending the episode actually trying to be a good friend made a good watch for me.
Weirdly, my favorite part was the scene with Pinkie - watching him actually having a reasonable conversation with someone other than Fluttershy created a fine character moment, and showcase of how far he'd painfully come.
Nothing to add. Solid gold, found by plumbing a depth of character and maturity unseen in 100+ episodes.
The two of them dancing across the market square was a great moment, yes. Took me a minute to get it but when I did it was wonderful.
Monday Blues was tons of fun, the pet one was fine, though kinda retready, I had forgotten all about Subs until you brought up the events in it. What you need to remember there, re: V-principal Luna, is that, just like Princess Luna as shown in Worst Episode, she doesn't have any role that affects anyone in the physical world. At all. She's not even supposed to be there while the school's open; those times we saw here there during the day she was pulling serious overtime.
Discordant Harmony was still pretty okay, bit draggy at times, but Fluttershy was great the entire time she was involved. "We never talked about it, but I'm pretty sure Discord hates gravity" is still one of the better joke payoffs in a while, and "Doin' anything for ya?" still gets me a bit.
Perfect Pair was great all around, but looking back it's now clear that only pegasi and earth ponies have parents who
matterget developed onscreen. Applejack's dead parents had already gotten more development than Twilight or Rarity's, and that's before an episode was devoted entirely to them... (likewise, Pinkie, Fluttershy (even if that was much more her brother), and Rainbow) Rarity's not that surprising, but for over three seasons Twilight was actual main character...4627821
Doesn't count, he specifically said useful.
Well he's not wrong, in terms of that specific ordering. I'll just ignore the implication it entails...
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Well, that's just another way it's exactly like Rainbow, I guess.
See also, Starlight. However, the show wants us to ignore the fact that she's mostly not a good pony or a good friend, because reasons. So he's definitely got that on her. :V