The Greatest Similes I Have Yet Written · 10:27pm Oct 9th, 2012
...will probably never be published. I normally don't like to post pieces of unfinished stories, but I'm making an exception because otherwise I'm unlikely to use these two, and I'm unreasonably proud of them.
From One Giant Leap, which will never be published because, despite my best efforts, I have no idea what to do for a second act:
Both ponies dove off the edge, trading height for speed. They leveled off bare meters above the stagnant river at the base of the gorge. The wind of their passing kicked up two parallel sprays of water as they rocketed forward. Spitfire found herself grinning. This was more like it.
Princess Luna was faster, somehow, but Spitfire had flown Ghastly Gorge more times than she could count. She knew every twist and turn, and more importantly, every whorl and eddy of the wind currents that twisted through the canyon like a bag of angry snakes. Spitfire used every subtle advantage the air could give her, and it was barely enough to keep up. The two ponies flew neck and neck, gaining or losing a few feet depending on the wind.
From Feral, which will never be published because I'm dismantling it for parts to use in a different story:
Because of the danger, the road is seldom used, and so the Everfree Forest is constantly on the verge of reclaiming it entirely. Trackless undergrowth threatens to swallow the path like hungry monsters, and hungry monsters threaten to swallow unfortunate travelers like trackless undergrowth. You would be foolish to brave that road without a group that is very large, very skilled, or very lucky.
"Trackless undergrowth threatens to swallow the path like hungry monsters, and hungry monsters threaten to swallow unfortunate travelers like trackless undergrowth."
And anyone who manages to survive both could still get snared in the tangled metonymy...
I do love clever uses of language, and these are especially good ones. Thank you for them.
>dat avatar
i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/414/198/d2a.png
Okay, the second one has got to be one of my favorite similes of all time.