My thoughts On The Emoji Movie · 12:35am Jul 29th, 2017
Well...this was a train wreck. Uninspired animation. Boring dialog. Mundane characters. Stupid plot.
Dang it Emoji Movie; you were supposed to be the underdog.
You were supposed to prove us all wrong, despite having crappy trailers and cruddy animation.
You were supposed to be like a phoenix and rise out of the flames of your bad press.
But you decided to stay hidden in the ashes...perhaps as one of the Phoenix's turds.
I am sad that this movie failed as bad as it did, to be honest. They could have made something interesting out of the concept. But they chose to go with the most mundane plot and bland characters ever.
I think an interesting plot would have been having some kind of villain who wanted to get rid of all of the emojis. There are always those people who hate emojis. It would have been relatable. So they had a find a way to save themselves from extinction. Or something.
But instead, we got some weird movie about a kid who wants to date another kid, two emojis who are going through a divorce, and one emoji who is so unintelligent he can't even act like an emoji. Who the heck thought that this was a good idea??
Excuse me while I drink some drain cleaner. I think that is the only thing that is going to get the bad taste of this movie out of my mouth.
And by all that is good and fluffy in this world, whatever you do...watch this movie. Seriously. It's so fun to make fun of!
But keep some cleaning supplies nearby while you watch it. You will need them. Take my word for it.
Now we can proudly say that the Boss Baby wasn't a total train wreck after seeing this movie.
4616377 The only thing that scares me is that there might be some movie that is actually worse than The Emoji Movie in the future...<_<
3% rotten tomatoes
4616382 That's actually pretty hilarious. Although it makes me wonder who the three percent were who actually liked this movie??
To be fair, we all knew it was gonna suck.
Pyrocinical tried to warn us, but we didn't listen!
4616391 I wanted it to be good. It was the chosen one. Why did it betray me??
My nieces want to see it on Sunday....someone please shoot me....
4616394 Low key bring some headphones into the theater with your cellphone and listen to music or something while your nieces watch the movie. :')
4616392
Yes... Use your rage! Let the butthurt flow through you!
4616384
One official reviewer for RT liked it enough to give it a thumbs up.
There are dozens of official reviewers!
I pegged it as bad as soon as I saw it
4616395
Either that or I play the whole "I'm-going-to-the-restroom" act and go straight to a different movie.
I know how big a company Sony is so there is no way this one movie can ruin them altogether, especially when you consider that next week there's gonna be a film called The Dark Tower which is a Stephen King adaptation intent on spawning a TV and film franchise.
And this is why I rarely go to the movies.
With the exception of watching Despicable Me 3 with a friend about half a week ago, but other than that, I typically go to the theater less than 5 times a year.
It was supposed to suck, we all knew it was going to suck, and suck it did.
Case closed.
I was eye cancer.
4616401 I'm not really butthurt as much as I am disappointed that they wasted a potentially good concept on the horse poop they chose to create instead. :/
4616404 Well...I guess everything has a fan. Even crappy movies get a following. Usually for being so bad they are good. But eh...that can't really be applied to The Emoji Movie.
4616408 I had a tiny amount of hope that the movie might be good despite the bad trailers and everything. But they just had to go and crush my hopes and dreams. <_<
4616411 If they asked where you were, just say that you had to take a really big dump that just happened to last the entire move. :,)
4616412 I am looking forward to watching The Dark Tower movie/ series since I am already a fan of the books. :)
4616418 Was Despicable Me 3 good? I'm just curious because I haven't seen it yet.
4616444
I never give movies the benefit of the doubt
4616423 They could have done something interesting with this move but they failed miserably. I crie everytim.
4616430 Yes. Yes it was. :|
4616447 Lol! That'd work too!😂
4616454
I’d have to say that it’s probably the best out of the current trilogy, or at least tied with 1 in terms of comedic value.
4616456 I try took keep an open mind when it comes to most entertainment. But to each their own. :)
4616471 ;)
4616480
It just saves me from disappointment.
4616478 I will have to give it a watch then. :)
4616488 That is a good point.
First time I heard something about the movie.
4616481
That is...if I don't get busted for sneaking into another theater.
4616498
If I going thinking it will be bad I am not caught of guard if it is and if it's good I'm pleasantly surprised
4616457
Or they could have funded a movie that actually deserved to be made.
Happiness: check. Bleach: check.
... I am confused. Do I drink the bleach before I start watching, so I die halfway, or afterwards, which means I might change my mind about chemical suicide?
Fuck it. I'm gonna just drink the Windex. It won't kill me, but it'll hurt enough to make sure I NEVER MAKE THIS MISTAKE AGAIN!
4616503 Well, that's not a bad thing. Watching this movie certainly was...an experience.
4616507 You have to be sneaky. Like James Bond. ;)
4616525 Makes sense to me. :)
4616659 They should have just made Popeye. You know, like they originally were going to do. :/
4616707 The Windex plan seems good. It will hit you right about where you will start losing hope for the future of entertainment. Which, eh, won't be too long after watching the opening the credits of the movie...
4616754 Ahhh...so I must out-Bond, James Bond as far as movies go! 😎
4616880 Yess. Then you can have your own movie franchise.
4616755
Thanks
4616956
Could you imagine? A suave spy who's cover is a DJ for hire. Going off into the world. Kickin' A** while balancing some sick a** beats at the same time! That--actually sounds like it'd be a far better movie than the Emoji movie!😂
4616973 You are very welcome. :)
4616974 You should write the movie script.
4617000 I'm sure a chimpanzee could write it and it'd be 100× better than the Emoji movie!😂
4616999
^_^