'Verse Ideas Probably Not Going To Be Used: Strange Cults · 5:39pm Jul 27th, 2017
Possibly the strangest of the various solar cults on Equus is the cult of Celestia Clementia, i.e., "the Merciful".
That's because it's not a pony cult. It's a griffon cult, arising after the Great Griffon War of 1194 Y. H. (in which the griffons were repelled from Trottingham and driven back beyond their own borders by the open use of weaponized sunfire), on the basic principle of "please, please don't incinerate any more of us or reduce anything else to sheets of glowing glass; we're so very, very, very sorry and will never, ever do anything like it again". Adherents to the cult eat as close to a vegetarian diet as griffons can manage, are excruciatingly-to-the-point-of-creepifyingly polite and helpful to any ponies they may meet, and engage in lengthy propitiatory rituals of apology.
(The majority of the griffon population finds them tremendously embarrassing. In fact, the only person who finds them more embarrassing is Princess Celestia herself, although there's very little she can actually do about the situation - beyond discouraging rather terminally an early offshoot that was well on the way to inventing stepped pyramids and certain types of sacrifice traditionally done atop stepped pyramids.
Still, at least they're not as uncomfortable as the cults of Celestia Invicta in Trottingham that worship her in her aspect of "She Who Strikes Down Our Enemies With Righteous Fire". Not only is it an aspect that she'd prefer to minimize, but this time, it's right here in Equestria.)
I get the sneaking suspicion that Gabriella, postal deliverygriff and honorary CMC, might have been raised by members of this cult.
"Only you, Sister. Only you could be embarrassed by shocking and awing our enemies to the point where they worship you."
"It is embarrassing!"
"Oh, yes, I'm sure. Especially the daily Sermon of the Divine Hindquarters."
"Luna, tell me you aren't—"
"Oh, Sun."
"You are, aren't you?"
"Ooh, you are so big."
"I actually kind of missed this."
"So absolutely massive."
"Kind of."
"We're all really impressed over here."
"Emphasis on the past tense."