Fic recs, June 26th! · 8:28pm Jun 26th, 2017
God, I can't remember the last time I posted only four review blogs in a month. c.c This needs to stop. And the "big thing" I've been working on I'm still maybe halfway done with. But first, the news!
Kegisak has a new original novel! Go check it out!
Scribbler's newest reading is shortskirts's The Ever Ash Project, with Gina M! StemCell has also updated his reading of Memory!
This blog has paid reviews in it! Find out how you can get me to review your story! Or, better yet, go throw money at Singularity Dream and motivate him to update the Big Master Review List! It's a huge undertaking, and a phenomenal benefit to this community, so let's make sure he keeps it up to date! (I can't blame him for losing motivation; that's a lot to do and I'm not making it any easier! :B)
Lastly, I wrote a new SCP! It's a severed head, in geosynchronous orbit above the Earth. There's a story there somewhere. :B
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A Royal Pain by Alaborn
Mature: Sex
Paid Review for Alaborn
Genre: Blueblood Redemption
A one-night stand leaves Blueblood with eleven months to think about what he's done.
I do not know what to think about this story. Billed as a comedy, with some definite funny moments, yet focused on the highly slice of life redemption arc. Two long sex scenes, the second of them extremely bizarre, that necessitate the M rating, yet hardly qualifies as a "clopfic". Mpreg fetish fuel that likewise refuses to categorize this as fetish fic. A Blueblood redemption premise that's mostly interested in torturing and humiliating him, even if he kind of deserves it.
So let's talk about seaponies.
The really fucking weird thing about this story is that literally everyone knows literally everything about them, except Blueblood, and even he isn't surprised at their presence. They're nothing unusual. There are books about their biology and reproduction. The doctors have seen ponies impregnated by them before. I mean, it's rare, but they've all fucking seen it and know everything about them. Even the first scene, where Blueblood meets an enchanting mare whose name, background and lack of dancing skills scream "SEAPONY": if the story hadn't been up-front about its premise, I think I'd have figured it out easily. I think the lack of mystery was honestly something that turned me off early on, just a little. I don't want seaponies that are just expected, I guess. :/ Also it uses "thestral" RAGE INCREASING
The actual story itself is a combolation of pregnancy woes, pregnancy jokes, jokes about Blueblood being pregnant (because, if you haven't figured it out, seaponies and seahorses), and lots and lots and lots of details about daily life in Ponyville. Blueblood, for his part, is written well: competent at what he does — surveying is his special talent — affronted by the pastoralism of Ponyville life, not outwardly trying to be a dick to people even if he sometimes is anyway. He has trouble getting used to having no servants, because, no, Spike does not count. There's some folderol about him being blessed with temporary seapony magic while carrying the foal, which just never quite sat right with me. (That bizarre second sex scene I mentioned earlier is also very "it's magic, I ain't gotta explain shit". c.c)
I guess if there's anything wrong with this story, it's twofold. First, not a lot happens. Blueblood's main motivator is wanting to get rid of the foal he doesn't want, and that plot climaxes less than halfway in. Oh, sure, there's some hornswoggle about his body doing anything to keep him from killing the baby, but after Twilight stops him from using magic in extremely questionable ways, he just sort of gives up and goes along with it, and then we have no more plot. There were numerous sequences, from the Running of the Leaves to fishing with Carrot Top's husband, that I termed "dull non-events". The ultimate solution to his problem is rather contrived (that it's related to another planned story means it really isn't, but does nothing for its status in this story), even if it allows him to be redeemed naturally. I was just never really excited to see where this went after he stopped trying to kill the foal.
Second, the author has a bad habit of explaining everything. This is, of course, a fairly common trap when writing about things not found in the show, but I'm talking the level of narrative repetition of things we just learned. I've read Alaborn's work before, and I have to say, I was often disappointed by the writing in this piece.
There is, at least, some good comedy, even if it's few and far between. There's a long sequence in the middle with Blueblood foalsitting for Diamond Tiara, which was maybe the best part of the entire story, and it ends on a really solid joke. I honestly am not sure how I feel about this piece overall. Whether or not you're going to like this story is going to depend on how much you can handle really disparate approaches to plot in one work.
Recommended for Fans of Blueblood
Easy as Pie by xjuggernaughtx
Genre: Episode-Like
Pinkie Pie really should have listened to Zecora…
Well, this is a perfect little bundle of absurdity, as we get to watch Pinkie deal with a 'haunted' kitchen while trying to make a pie. It's the kind of episode-style light comedy you don't see as much these days. It doesn't have a letter to the princess, but it does feature Twilight coming in halfway because otherwise, how would she be able to write one? (Even though it's season two, in terms of canon.) Could use one more editing pass for a lot of apostrophe errors, but in all, a pleasant read. :)
Recommended for Fans of Episode-Style Comedy
Never Dream by Kamikakushi
Genre: Dark
I find myself at a loss with this one. The first two chapters feel completely removed from the third, and the expectations they set up — being trapped in a dream, never knowing what's real and what isn't — were never used in the third chapter, so I come away with some disappointment. I get what was being gone for: the dreams are to show how much Rainbow Dash is worried about the upcoming race. But then it's like she doesn't act on that at all, it all becomes self-fulfilling prophecy, and then her friends are really hard on her. I'm just left with that deep sense of disappointment and confusion, is all.
Vaguely Recommended
The Lighthouse and the Sea by The Cyan Recluse
Genre: Fairy Tale Romance
Watch out for the seaponies.
Dang. Okay, first of all, seaponies. Second, "economical" hardly begins to cover this piece. You get the bare bones of a story, but not once does it feel like you need anything more. It all comes down to the final two scenes: a recontextualization of the first, and a fairy tale ending (which can be a dark ending if you don't read the author's note). But either way, it hit me really hard, it really works. I was impressed.
Highly Recommended
The Prisoner of Zebra by Tumbleweed
Genre: Comedy/The Prisoner of Zenda Crossover
A historical account of the (entirely unwanted) exploits of Knight-Colonel Flash Sentry.
Sometimes, you go into a story looking for a good laugh, and you end up with so much more. This story is hilarious, don't get me wrong. The first chapter tells us how Flash bumbled his way into heroism during the changeling invasion of Canterlot, while the rest is devoted to him being swept up in a plot to impersonate a foreign prince, alongside Carrot Top, of all ponies. But there's so much action, adventure and intrigue! The pacing is snappy, Flash's character is lots of fun, and best of all, this is all treated as an in-universe historical document, centuries in the future, a framing that adds no small amount of extra enjoyment to the whole setup. And sure, both plots are something you've likely seen before: the former is your standard "cowardly idiot stumbles his way to victory while those around him constantly overestimate his abilities", and the latter is an adaptation of the classic. But enough of the adaptation has been changed beyond the initial premise to make it its own beast. And I really can't stress enough: this is a funny, funny story, and tons of fun to read, besides.
Highly Recommended
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I'd love to crack that fic open for another editing pass, but I'm afraid that it would mortify me to read it. It seems like a lifetime ago that I wrote it.
That last one looks awesome! Added to my (ever-growing) list.
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Or, y'know, like... Fans of Blueblood getting owned and becoming a better person for it. :B
Thanks for the review!
Also, bonus points for actually knowing what the hell The Prisoner of Zenda is. Though it's also worth noting that I'm drawing even more from George MacDonald Fraser as from Anthony Hope.
Not to mention Royal Flash had a Malcolm MacDowell movie, but I'm just a sucker for obscure stuff like that. :)
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I knew that historian's name had to be a reference to something!
Huh. I tried out A Royal Pain quite a while ago, but quit quickly--there was a very explicit sex scene near the start, and it convinced me this wasn't a story I wanted to read.
I love seeing "Blueblood get owned," though, and it does have Carrot Top in it. And if that was actually one of just two sex scenes, maybe it'd be worth bulling through them. Rrrgh, decisions, decisions...
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The first sex scene is worth reading, as it sets up the entire story, or at least the end of it does. The second is entirely worth skipping, and even the author suggested that to me. >.>
Flash Sentry as Flashman? That's going on the list right away!