Mental Mishap · 10:14pm Jun 15th, 2017

This blog post was almost an announcement for my going on hiatus, given how the next few months to a year look like they'll be playing out. Almost.

In short, backing up a bit, I learned how precarious of a position my mind was in shortly after FanOfMostEverything's Imposing Sovereigns contest. I really liked the idea of it, but as I watched it unfold, the simple way of saying this is that I found myself in a somewhat obsessive loop of negativity for reasons mostly unrelated to how my own entry performed. As a result, I took a step back from everything and actually closed the Fimfiction tab from time to time.

Back to the present, my mind has not been in a happy place recently. I've found myself in a somewhat similar cycle of negativity, just centered on a different topic. At this point, I'm working my way out of it, but I'm still in a state of feeling sad/depressed with almost no regard to what I'm doing or thinking at any given moment. Fortunately, I do have my suspicions as to why this has happened.

I figured when I decided that I should go on hiatus that 'I just won't push myself' by only writing when I had time in excess and my muse had something to say (and telling everybody not to expect anything). I expected this to be a rare occurrence.

Now, I wouldn't have kept writing past those first thousand words or so if I didn't enjoy writing stories, and it seems I've found myself in need of a little more joy. I realize that this is something that I want to hold on to, regardless of my success, and, only to what extent I can, regardless of what else life demands of me. Just don't expect anything.

Moving on, at least a bit, from the heavy stuff, I set the promised batpony story on the back burner after the Imposing Sovereigns contest. No matter what angle I started from, it never seemed to take off. Or even roll where I wanted it to go. Unhinged stories seem tempting, because even if they turn out terrible, I don't have to worry about that affecting any following cards/stories. We'll just have to see what happens.

Finally, I had toyed with the idea of a story featuring Sunny Daze and Peachy Pie (to be titled Sunny Days), set around the time of The Show Stoppers and the talent show therein. That, too, never really took off, but in my small pile of unedited scrap drafts, there is one scene that I want to share, lest it sit in the shadows and never do any good. It seems fitting, given that the completed story was supposed to be heartwarming and uplifting.

The sun was setting, taking away its light for the day. Sunny Daze didn’t need the light of day to brighten her days.

Not at all. Cheerilee had just announced that the school talent show was in two weeks. The was the first one that she had an opportunity to participate in since she started going to school.

Maybe I’ll find my special talent! And earn my cutie mark!

She sighed wistfully, and rested her head on top of her hooves as she watched the sun set through her window. Anything could happen, and she would make the best of it.

First, she had to think of something to put on for the show.

* * *

She thought on it over the next few days, and brought it up with her mom over the weekend.

“You always liked to read, dear. I don’t know of many ponies who started as early as you did.”

Sunny contemplated as she took another bite of her salad. “But—”

“Not with your mouth full!”

Sunny finished chewing and swallowed. “But I don’t know how to turn a talent in reading into something for the show.”

Daisy chuckled. “That’s some gloomy thinking for somepony who claims they don’t like frowns. I’m sure you can think of something.”

True, Sunny thought. I still have over a week. I’m going to think of something. Something fun! I want to make everypony there smile.

But how do I make everypony smile? I don’t think reading is going to do that.

Sunny rested her head on the table and furrowed her brow.

I know everypony likes to read different things, but maybe if I pick something I really like, they will like it a little bit. If everypony likes it a little bit, then I can make them smile a little bit.

Her mom interrupted her thoughts. “Careful, dear.”

She sat back up and blinked. “Huh?”

“With all that thinking going on, you might strain something.”

A cold shudder ran down her body, and she asked, “What do you mean?” Will I hurt myself if I think too much?

“Nothing, dear,” Daisy said, and stuck her tongue out. Then she walked around the table to give Sunny a hug. “Now how about you go play with some of the other foals? I’m going to visit Dizzy. She’s in a tizzy over her upcoming certification exam.” She let go, and took a few steps towards the door.

“Hey, mom?”

“Yes, dear?”

“What’s a ‘tizzy’?”

“She’s flustered.”

Sunny Daze simply glared at the door as it shut behind her mom.