Review: Dense as Diamonds · 3:38am Jun 1st, 2017
Review: Dense as Diamonds
You know Diamonds are not really the dense. With their density being of 3.51 gm/cm3 that is a far cry form the densest element Osmium and Erina at 22.59 g/cm3.
Hey! I’m only marginally more dense than diamond!
So you’re as dense as gold at 19.3 g/cm3.
Well you’re just a filthy Hanzo main! How’s that!
That is not as bad as you who mains Mei.
Okay. Okay. Okay. I’ll stop slinging mud long enough for us to finish this. What’s on the agenda today?
The hopeless romantic that is know as Rarity, the simple ship of the Rarilight and, the story called Dense as diamonds. Let’s do this.
I hate moving furniture. That’s why my room never changes once I find the setup I like.
That will change once you’re in a relationship. So Twilight is moving furniture as Rarity directs where it goes.So just you’re typical Thursday night in Equestria.
Until you notice all the entwined lavender and white accents in the room. Honestly if want to get the attention of a hopeless romantic you have to say “Hey. Let’s go out and see where things go.”
Let's not get ahead of our self. Before we get to the pillows Rarity and Twilight talk about how ‘Crystal and gemstones are wonderful for accentuation, not to make your floor and walls out of them.’ then she looks at the couch and the throw pillows. She decides that it's fine thanks twilight for using good color coordination.
I’m so happy about the fact that Rarity now understands that crystals aren’t for everything. So Twilight’s first attempt flies right by Rarity without her so much as batting an eye. That was definitely not levels of subtly I’d ever go to.
Well the purple and white throw pillows together on the couches are the definition of subtlety. But as sated by Erina it only slightly hints at them being to gather and easily overlook. Now this a rating system.
Round one. Effectiveness 1 Creative 5
Twilight should’ve done something more drastic.
All in good time all in good time. So as the winter sets in and a blizzard rages we find Both twilight and Rarity in front of the fire knitting. As well talking about various things.
I believe they speak of Spike’s *ahem* crush of sorts. We get a gentle moment where Rarity reveals that she’d like a chivalrous gentlemen. When I find The One I’d like them to treat me just as kindly. *Sighs wistfully*
So Rarity wants somepony that knows and honors how knights where to conduct themselves in combat in the 15th century. That aside Twilight tells Rarity that she had a talk with Spike about his ‘crush’.
You miss the point of how I’m using the word chivalrous. It’s all in how the word was redefined. That aside Rarity goes onto to say that Spike was the only person to ever romance her. And I feel her pain no one’s ever really given me half a shot.
Here I got you something *hands book in tiled Knights Code of Chivalry © 15th century*. So as the two tread into a deeper conversation Rarity demands wine. For drama and wine go all too well together. Which then leads to my favorite line of the story ‘Twilight! If we cannot find romance, we shall hunt it instead!’ *facepalms*
So I just adore Twilight’s scarf I’m not really all that sure of it’s significance though. Pretty idea though, right sis?
You missed the point the scarf is primarily Twilight’s coat color and the diamonds are shaped like Rarity’s cutiemark and her coat color. Well in this context the two of them are no more than a foot or two away from each other. So it's not a bad idea.
Round two Effectiveness 1.25 Creative ~6.5
So fun fact when spoke with the author this was actually the first scene they wrote. The bistro scene I mean.
So we find our love sick Twilight at the Bistro with Rarity for a lunch date: or what would be one if Rarity would pick up on the hints. I love Romance stories but for the love of everything holy just kiss her all ready.
Winter do we need to give the story a break. You seem to have lost it the same way Zelda fans do when Link and Zelda are in the same room.
Look with those two we know that they will be together. With these two at the this point we don’t and kind of hurts when the one you love does not realize that you love. But then again Twilight has not said anything, so yeah. Also I spy a Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie.
Oh yeah those are pretty napkins. We should get a set for our parents.
Really that’s all you have to say? On second thought you're right they're just really nice napkins that happen to be Rarity and Twilight's colors. *Faceplams*
Oh! I fucked it up again didn’t I. On second thought what lovely subtle reference. But I think it went unnoticed by more than just me.
Yes yes you did. But it wasn't Twilight who put the napkins out. So as the they enjoy their meal they talk about what's going on in the town. Which leads to Rarity saying that Big Mac had come in asking for a bowtie Which ultimately probably ended up being for SUGAR BELLE! SHE BELONGS WITH NIGHT GLIDER! BUT THE WRITERS SAID NO FUCK THAT GOOD IDEA LET’S PUT TWO CHARACTERS WHO HAVE NEVER EVEN MET TOGETHER. YEAH THAT WAS JUST FINE!
You ok?
I’M FINE! Just a little salty. *Straightens hair* Okay all better now.
*plays taps* So your ship was sunk I’m sorry. So talk about how Big Mic is now taken.
No I won’t let’s just rate subtly and move to the next scene. *Humph*
Oh come on!
Round Three Effectiveness .5 Creative 2
I love the theatre. Helps that I’ve done it all throughout high school. I find it a sweet idea for a date. If only Rarity could see it. Even I’m not that dense. I mean come on Luna cancelled. Please. Dating 101 people.
Well it helps that other want them to be together but seriously the age old excuses of some thing came up. Luna you're the protector of dreams and you fight the darkness you could've come up with something better.
Hey! Messing with dreams and planting thoughts isn’t really a great thing to be toying with. You’d know had you read Luna Cypher!
And you haven't read The Long Road to Friendship. During what i think is the intermission Rarity talks about Trenderhoof is back and, Rarity admits that she had a little crush on him.
Little is by far the largest understatement this eon.
Ok little is a bit of an understatement. Then we have this *sighs*
‘This evening is about romance, not the lack thereof,’
Rarity why.
Ya’ know I once made a similar mistake.
Is this about that one time with the ice cream cone. But anyway the play is back and we see this round of you should be together hints, in the form of the two charters clothing colors are purple and white.
Oh yeah. You see I’m catching on. And we see in the concert seats sit Luna and Celestia. They are disguised of course but just enough that Twilight can notice them.
Well Twilight is observant so she notices things unlike others.
Round four Effectiveness 0 Creative 8
I demand an epilogue of just Rarity and Twilight riding around Canterlot in a carriage snuggling and speaking their mind. I demand it I say!
Well we all want things. But we'll have to settle with this seen. So it’s a cold winter night and what's better than open to carriage ride through Canterlot? Practically everything else.
Ahh. I’d imagine it was beautiful even if Cadance couldn’t help but spy. And how else would you spy, well I can tell you the right way is not with illusion magic. No, the far superior way is with a fake mustache and pretending to lower the pitch of your voice folks.
This why I get hired to do the stealth contracts and you get the open ended contracts.
I’m sorry that you don’t actually have fun with your kill. I like it when they run.
Ok I’m calling your psychologist. Since it’s a cold winter’s night and both Twilight and Rarity are under a haft purple and half white blanket,with both of them under the opposite color. So as they are enjoy the ride they talk about what many topics.
Jokes on you there’s a nice price on his head. Anyways, Dash drops in for a brief moment to create some wind and whoops there goes the blanket.
With what monney? So without the blanket to keep warm; Rarity says that she would hate to cut the ride short. Then Twilight wraps her wing around Rarity who has a slight blush.*British accent* By george I think she's got it.
It’s so cute. I don’t think anyone has ever given me this kind of reaction about anything.
Round five Effectiveness Solid 5 Creative 8
Well it’s time to throw out the book of subtlety and go all out. With a three-course meal, Purple and white spiral candlesticks, all for a perfect night.
Finally. Good riddance to subtly and hello being straight-forward and blunt. An she still DOESN’T FUCKING GET IT!!
Ok when a romance begins you can not rush it. So as Twilight and Rarity talk about hows Rarity’s love is going. Only to Rarity’s shock that all the single stallions in Ponyville are intentionally avoiding her. I wonder why?
Well it’s never fully explained but it’s heavily implied that Twilight’s friends have pushed them away. That aside Twilight decides to ask Rarity if she would only consider being with a stallion.
To which Rarity replies that she never considered dating a mare. To which she asks what are you looking for partner. And Rarity say
’I want to be courted, Twilight, taken out for brunch or dinner, taken to the theater or other such things… I would say long walks on the beach, but there really aren’t any beaches here. Maybe something else romantic, like a moonlight ride or a… candlelight… dinner...”’
Cue the lightbulb going off. Finally after about two months Rarity finally gets it and then they kiss. *takes a breath*
And it’s a good satisfying passionate embrace. The story ends with them considering the dinner to be their first date.
yes after what seemed a life there together and it feels right so for the final time.
Round Five Effectiveness 10 Creative 10
So all in all I’d give this a 9.5. It really should get some form of continuation. Hey Winter what aboNo. It’s done. It’s over. There together and the rest is history. What?
Never mind. So over all the this story has shown the more frustrating part of Romance and, it conveys the message that love is sometime hard and to never give up. So I give Dense as Diamonds Decline of Subtlety 9.75/10.
Hey everyone Erina here. I of course could not have done this review without a few things:
1. Being the author, River Road, and his amazing story, Dense as Diamonds.
2. Being my lovely sister check her out here.
3. Being you amazing people who read these reviews. Be sure to comment and follow for more.
Update:
Thanks to Multiversecruise for the fantastic coverart. And it looks like I lied the first scene written was the second half of the candle lit dinner.
