Parents... · 10:24pm May 21st, 2017
Writers of children’s adventure fiction know very well that parents are a problem. They just get in the way and interfere with the thrilling adventures you want to send your character on. Successful writers have found effective ways to deal with this problem, such as: sending your character off to boarding school (Enid Blyton); killing the parents off in chapter one (Roald Dahl); or (to be doubly safe) both sending the character to boarding school and killing off their parents (J.K. Rowling)…
[Celestia and Luna sit at the breakfast table in Canterlot Castle, flipping through the morning papers, and reading their mail.]
Celestia: [reads a letter and chuckles] There’s a lovely story in this letter from Twilight. It’s about Rainbow Dash’s parents.
Luna: [looks up shocked] Rainbow Dash has parents! I’ve never seen Rainbow Dash’s parents. I assumed she had just spontaneously appeared in a flash of lightning one stormy night and was found asleep on a cloud outside the door of the Cloudsdale orphanage. Or something like that.
Celestia: [pictures the image in her head] I did hear that she was the Greatest Napper of All Time. I can picture her sleeping through a thunderstorm. But no. Rainbow Dash has parents.
Luna: So why have we never seen them?
Celestia: Apparently she never invited them to anything as they are so terribly embarrassing.
Luna: That makes sense. [nods her head] But you would have thought they would go along to see her at the Wonderbolt shows.
Celestia: Apparently they didn’t know she was a Wonderbolt. She never told them.
Luna: How could they not have heard that? Do they live on a cloud or something?
Celestia: Yes. They are from a well-to-do suburb of North Cloudsdale. [picks up paper] The “Your Place in the Sky” supplement of the Cloudsdale Courier describes it as: “an affluent residential estate of large family villas with well-tended cumulus lawns and cirrostratus borders. The sort of place your parents would live…”
Luna: Do they not read the newspapers?
Celestia: It would seem not. Maybe they stopped reading in protest at the reporting of their daughter’s sonic rainboom…
Luna: But when Rainbow Dash became a Wonderbolt they must have heard. Everypony was talking about it!
Celestia: Everypony in central Cloudsdale and Canterlot—yes—but I hear that in the suburbs, life has a slower pace, and ponies don’t get so easily excited…
Luna: But didn’t any reporter go out to see them? Those tabloid reporters always want every detail of celebrity lives.
Celestia: I expect they did… Maybe their scoop about the Best Bath Taker Ever wasn’t quite newsworthy enough to make the front page… Maybe Windy Whistles and Bow Hothoof were so busy taking about their daughter that they didn’t listen, and didn’t pick-up on why Rainbow Dash was suddenly newsworthy…
Luna: So how did they find out?
Celestia: Scootaloo catapulted herself into their home and explained it all. And now they know all about their daughter’s accomplishments, Rainbow Dash is reconciled with her parents, and they have seem to have adopted Scootaloo and become one big, loud, happy family.
[passes photograph to Luna]
Luna: How sweet. [looks at the picture of Scootaloo with tears in her eyes] What a lovely story. Tell me Celestia, what do we know of Twilight’s parents and those of her other friends?
Celestia: Well, Twilight’s parents show up and play nicely at official events, but otherwise stay away. She must have them under control. Fluttershy’s parents are also in Cloudsdale, but it’s her brother who is a bigger concern. Pinkie Pie’s folks live on a rock farm. Rarity’s Mom and Dad are occasionally seen, but she must have persuaded them to stay away from her fashion shows—I guess they don’t share her style. And it is generally assumed that Applejack’s parents are dead…
Luna: Dead!
Celestia: But that has never been entirely clear…
Luna: They never found the bodies! What a story!
Celestia: No, not like that…
Luna: They found the bodies but they don’t know if they are dead? This gets darker.
Celestia: No… I just mean that Applejack never speaks about them.
Luna: [nodding] Maybe they were kidnapped by Appleloosan separatists and are being held hostage on a ranch out west, and she can’t speak for fear of endangering their lives…
Celestia. At this point, that’s as likely as any other story.
[pause while they drink tea]
Luna: You know, Tia, maybe it is time we wrote to Mom and Dad and let them know we are now princesses of Equestria… It's been a few thousand years...
Celestia: [freezes, puts teacup on table, narrows her eyes and stares at her sister before replying coldly] Don’t. You. Dare.
Hee, so true.
A wonderful summary of the characters who are too mature and settled to make for exciting adventure stories.
*considers Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy and Twilight* Well, the ones that were already mature and settled at the beginning of the show.
*considers Applejack and Fluttershy* The ones that were over thirty? I got nothing.
So how do you deal with parents when they go visiting relatives on a not far from a near medievil level farm complex buried deep in the Black Forest, with wolves roaming, and their house is always available to visit, stay etc, but unless you can afford a chauffer, there aint no transport to leave unless they let you leave by dropping you off at the nearest daily bus stop miles away first thing in the morning.
Bein praised is one thing. Being praised for being the best when its average is counter productive. Not so much carrot and stick, as choc drop and cracker.
If you thought Rainbow Dash's parents were bad...
"Princess Celestia! There are hurricane-force winds ravaging the entire Equestrian countryside!"
"I know, Twilight. I can look out the window myself."
"But what's causing it? You didn't summon me here to tell me about another ancient evil you never brought up until now and Rainbow Dash is still banned from the weather factory!"
(sigh) "My parents are very, very proud of me."
I'd buy it.
4541866 This sound salmost like a mini-Carabas story right here
Honestly, with the newspapers being what they were, I can buy those parents boycotting the news.
100% approved by me.
Do it...
I think this should be the actual answer.