My Side of the Spectrum · 1:26pm May 12th, 2017
For added context, I suggest reading JedR's journal first.
If you follow the story originally written by Redskin122004, The Other Side of the Spectrum, you will be aware that, for some time, I have participated along with several others as a co-writer on what evolved into a group project, throwing in several of my own ideas into the pot, generally deriving entertainment from writing on an altogether unique take on alt-TCB, the selling point of which is that once the ponies from the Equestria we know and love learn of Earth being under attack by another, malevolent Imperial Equestria, they join forces with humanity and the alt-universe Equestrian resistance fighters to stave off this menace.
Recently, though, I've drawn some heat, thanks to a series of ugly journals in which Redskin publically accused me of sabotaging the story and called for my, I quote, "mobbing", which ultimately led to his own indefinite ban from Fimfiction and, regrettably, an uncertain future for the continuation of the Spectrumverse. On that aspect, a few of the remaining co-writers have been making plans, yet much remains to be seen.
Driven by indignation over Red's attitude, JedR posted a journal earlier today, linked at the head of this page, in which he sought to give his perspective on the matter. Again, I recommend you read it first. What is written here stems more from my personal viewpoint than the general group's, devised with the intent of providing a word in my defense, and to possibly offer concrete evidence to Jed's assertions that, whatever share of the blame others could be said to possess, ultimately, Red was the real wellspring for most of the problems eating at the team.
The reason neither I nor anyone stepped forward to reveal this sooner is because we understood the value of presenting a more-or-less united front to the world. Now, on the other hand, when Red has publically withdrawn while recognising that he's lost our support, the point seems, as they say, moot.
I promise on any holy text you'd see fit to lay under my hand that all which follows is factually accurate. The sole changes I'll have made are to trim off moments of fat, as indicated by ellipses in brackets, or to slightly alter the formatting of the source material.
As those who read Spectrum to its current endpoint will be aware, the chapters ensuing from the moment a main human character chooses to visit Ponyville together with his girlfriend, the alt-verse Trixie Lulamoon, experienced a considerable departure from the story's prior tone as the human got abducted by enemies, and Trixie, through subliminal suggestion, was manipulated into killing an innocent civilian so as to strike a blow to the protagonists' standing. In the wake of this, the plot went on to follow the protagonists' efforts to salvage the crisis, as well as save Trixie from her own mind, which is where we left off when the story got shelved.
This revealed itself to be a complicated production process, since the death of an innocent was, I admit it, a last-minute suggestion made by me. However, please take note that it was approved by Red; in fact, he wrote a good chunk of the death scene himself, for the sake of verisimilitude. And thus the chapter 'Only Human' concluded with the OC of my friend Sledge115, the sniper Ana Bjorgman, who'd witnessed the tragic event, reflecting that she'd keep on fighting, just as we seemed to be left with a novel, humane direction in which to take the story.
In retrospect, this all went out the window the moment Redskin sprang upon us with a certain scene in the draft for the next chapter. The scene I mention would've seen Ana violently chastised by her superior, the story's nominal hero and Red's SI as a military man, Colonel Marcus Renee. Now, you might think it doesn't seem like the point where things begin to unravel; the scene of a soldier getting chewed out by their commanding officer is, after all, a reliable staple of the genre. And you'd be right, except it becomes indicative of Red's bizarro-esque, eyes-wide-shut view of the world that he doesn't understand how, typically in such scenes, we sympathise with the soldier, not the bellicose officer, leading to this...
May 16, 2016
“On your feet, Bjorgman!”
Ana flinched at the noise, but she immediately got up and turned, saluting. “Sir! Report–”
“Quiet! I know why you're here.” Renee scowled at her as he marched around his desk. Wordlessly, he took out his iPad and began filing through it, without looking at her. Ana fidgeted for a moment before, on edge, she attempted to sit.
He glanced up sharply. “Did I say you could sit down?”
“N-no, sir...”
“Then why are you taking a seat?”
(...)
“Sir...”
“Shut. It,” Marcus growled, causing Ana to snap her jaw shut. “Let me list all the fuck ups you performed. Ignoring orders from your superiors, placing the lives of your comrades and civilians in danger, shooting into a civilian population center, attempting to detain civilians without cause, leading to the death of one of said civilians and leaving a filly without a FUCKING MOTHER! ARE YOU TRACKING ME, BJORGMAN?!”
“Yessir!”
“No, no you are not because you got lost somewhere out there!” Marcus slammed his fist onto the table, causing it to crack down the center.
Every last word here was written by Redskin.
... Trust me, this is a mere taste of what's to come.
Although, thanks to Jed's supervision, the final draft saw Marcus act in a more fatherly, understanding way towards one of his soldiers, the bad taste was left in our mouths, and still felt later on, after half a year of Red continuing to express his annoyances and a wish to pursue the story, one way or another, as if the shattering events at the end of 'Only Human' could be swept under the rug. Some may remember he first tried to achieve this by announcing he'd be erasing a whole written and published arc from existence. When Jed succeeded in persuading him otherwise, we set a new arc in motion, one meant to re-examine the protagonists' actions and morals when faced by a situation lacking good answers.
Jed has already written at length on how he feels said 'Pale Moonlight' arc did not meet his expectations; I feel no need to reiterate any of that. However, it bears repeating that Red approved of these chapters, and was fine with the plot angle of the cover-up so the protagonists could avoid facing public outcry for their mistakes. It was only towards the end, as the implications appeared to settle in, that he requested a change of outcome. Hence why the prime-verse's Trixie Lulamoon is reprieved, and the truth gets released to the public. And, most importantly, Red's OC, Marcus, is the one to reach that decision virtually by himself.
If you want an example of how hard it was to properly portray Marcus as struggling with his situation, skirting with poor decisions that are meant to be acknowledged in-text as poor, look no further than below for Red's response to my idea of Marcus keeping the truth from the alt-verse Trixie about what they did to preserve her reputation;
December 2016
redskin122004
23:32 13 déc. 2016
Seriously, what the hell is this???
Im tired of Marcus getting kicked around. Frankly I dont even know how this leap of logic works.
Red was the one tired of Marcus getting kicked around?
redskin122004
15:17 22 déc. 2016
I still maintain this is the most retarded idea ever conceived. Not telling Trixie what she done and then pin the blame on her counterpart.
Even though the first thing she is going want to know is what happen. With the news and second hand sources running around, it wont take much to figure it out.
Still, i will leave it. Kind of need it now for the bad timelime.
Next time though, I will not be so forgiving in asking to change something back.
Right. Here comes the point when it gets personal, and perhaps subjective.
Letting your character be so deliberately flawed as to make a mistake is "the most retarded idea ever conceived". This coming from someone who habitually writes ideas into their work which could charitably be called "quaintly daft", and indeed I believe that's how we chose to see it until they truly grew nasty. Randomly inserting the characters from Grand Theft Auto V for no rhyme or reason other than personal appeal. Having the resistance fighters almost fall for their arch-enemy's claim that the other alicorn she was fighting is in fact her ally, and this was all a big display of power. Writing the normally cool, collected Princess Celestia as unleashing a stream of profanity towards Blueblood, her own kin, before he gets turned to stone by Discord; whereupon following a change of heart amongst the writing team, Celestia also gets the blame for the petrifaction, conveniently omitting any mention of Discord. Who, may I add, canonically sought to claim the moral high ground over Celestia by saying he doesn't turn people to stone. Let's not mention the idea Red had to make Marcus Renee, via in-vitro fertilisation of a disposable human female character, the ancestor to Mass Effect's Commander Shepard.
All of that is just fine and dandy, but giving your character flaws is, to quote Jed, laughable and stupid. Everyone's a critic, of course, and what makes a story or a character good is highly subjective, yet the general consensus is that internal narrative consistency is a quality, while a flawed character is a more "human" character.
... Speaking of, in response to a comment Red made in one of his last journals;
Chrysalis' stupid idea to backstab everyone because she is evulz.
You keep using words, sir. I do not think they mean what you think they mean.
I won't seek to defend my characterisation of Queen Chrysalis as a backstabber-in-the-making; the reasons for why she'd be so ought to be evident to most. If anything, you could make the argument that, in placing the Changeling Hive first - see what I did there - Chrysalis seeks to ensure her people shall never again be disadvantaged by a world which looks down on them, should you be keen in lending a touch of well-intentioned extremism to her personality.
But the line which Red draws between hero and villain is, simply put, iffy. His approach to story and character do not leave much room for moral nuance. Despite possessing a ready-made audience of readers who dislike The Conversion Bureau, he paints his take on TCB!Equestria with a brush of almost comically exaggerated and hypocritical evil, lest we start having doubts as to who the "bad guys" really are in this scenario; the horribly flayed inner-minds of the Mane Six, the outright extermination campaigns, the murder of their world's equivalent of Father Christmas...
At the same time, he'd permit his heroes or anti-heroes to cross many a line indeed.
Regarding the civilians whom Jed describes as getting remorselessly mowed down for being Bad Guys? It gets worse than you might be thinking right now. Keep in mind, we're not even talking people loyal to Imperial Equestria. The civilians in question are human dissidents evolving in enclaves outside of government control. As these enclaves grow to be a nuisance, a side-story sub-plot follows a USMC operation to subdue them, and when they get there, they witness sights which confirm they're dealing with people who deserve to die...
(I learnt of this statement from Jed sometime after the fact, in February 2017.)
June 23, 2016
Redskin: Kids playing with sticks, which turns out to be horns, a mother braiding feathees in her daughter's hair, which turn out to be pegasi feathers. Thungs like that.
This is the only time I've ever had to step back from my computer for a full half-hour, I was so shocked. Not about the content, no. I've read and seen worse. I felt shocked at witnessing first-hand the depths a man can go to dehumanise the "other". In a way, I felt indirectly insulted. For my side-story, Joy to the Worlds, I had also written a character who systematically killed children. They key difference being that, although designed to retain a few sympathetic traits, said character was clearly the villain. And they felt remorse over their actions.
... In what world does the hero feel no remorse while the villain does?
However, the crowning nastiness came only a few short months ago. You may be wondering which plans of Red's he felt rattled about several among us voicing our opposition to. I can tell you now, as he refers to them in one of his last journals as the plans for all "decent people" to adhere to should they resume the story. Out of those plans, the part which attracted the most vocal protest from me especially, was the fate of Queen Celestia;
She would have been devoured by Tirek's Bag, then her innards graphically spat out to reform into Tirek himself; cue yet another battle for Marcus Renee, and that'd be that.
Do take into account that I wouldn't have been opposed to the idea on principle. Joy to the Worlds will show you that I'm quite willing to go dark places. However, I was left unnerved by the fact that, in Red's mind, nobody in-universe was to express pity for Celestia or make an attempt at saving her before she met her sorry fate. Hence I had written a scene, now likely to never be published, in which Luna ends up crying and screaming as she begs her case to a couple of newcomer characters (Lightning Dust and Nepenthe from Last Train From Oblivion, the latter of whom knows only too well what it means to be taken by Tirek) for saving her counterpart sister.
So, let us see how Red responded.
February 11, 2017
redskin122004 - 02:15
Well, Vox
redskin122004 - 02:17
Wouldn't they mock Luna
Sledge115 - 02:17
Why?
redskin122004 - 02:18
"She's my sister!"
"No, your sister is currently downing Darjeeling with a Colonel and history buff."
(...)moi - 02:21
Celestia and Luna are sisters.
redskin122004 - 02:22
"No, she isn't the sister you lived with, looked up to, fought against, and suffered for your haughty transgression."
"Your sister is awake, free as the wings she has, away fromt he blight of Tirek."
"You confuse yourself more so than the colonel in his quest to save you all."
(...)moi - 02:26
On the contrary, I believe that what adds to the story is Luna feeling a connection to someone who might have been her sister elsewhere.
redskin122004 - 02:27
I don't believe it does. It seems weird and hamfisted in a sense
Yes, saving her is nice and all
But to feel for her?
Probably not.
moi - 02:27
It's called compassion.
(...)redskin122004 - 02:28
I still feel this scene is awkward
(...)redskin122004 - 02:35
Twilight is begging death
Yes, they do save her, but before hand they have to fight her
unlike the Mane6, Celestia would never get that chance
moi - 02:35
Only because you say so, Red.
Sledge115 - 02:36
But why would she never get that chance?
redskin122004 - 02:37
Because the bag eats her
and uses the parts of her and any newfoals around her to forge a new body for Tirek
it will be...
bloody glorious
lol
moi - 02:37
Again, it's you who wants this.
(...)redskin122004 - 02:43
Its nice to have a civilian outlook that all life is sacred, but that is not what I am
I go into town, looking for cover every time I set outside my house
I gauge the people around me
moi - 02:43
Red?
redskin122004 - 02:43
I am the one that understand the life and death is around every corner
(He then went on to mention the death he has seen in his life, including on his home turf, the details of which I won't reprint here out of regards for the deceased. Nonetheless, I felt him bringing it up was no less than a transparent attempt at guilt-tripping, at emotional manipulation.)redskin122004 - 02:49
I don't see it as an intelligent move
especially in a fight
The last thing on my mind is, 'I should really hit them until they stand down'
moi - 02:50
Yet what's worth fighting for, if we must abandon the ones we love to Satan?
redskin122004 - 02:50
Its 'How do I put this thing down fast enough to saved myself and others."
I don't see how that works
its not her sister
so whats the problem
moi - 02:51
Red, what you're suggesting here is the ending of Drag Me to Hell.
redskin122004 - 02:51
oh, okay, so the devil took over someone's double from another universe and she kills it to save her own skin and the world, but gets dragged to hell anyways?
(...)moi - 03:06
Red, I don't think you care much for Celestia.
redskin122004 - 03:06
eh
redskin122004 a quitté le chat en groupe.
Herein, we're told everything we need to know. Whether in discussing feelings of compassion for someone possessed by the Devil, or going into detail about plans he had for the possessed Celestia, Redskin's go-to reaction is to laugh about it. I don't care how jaded a war veteran someone is, one simply can't buy callousness of that magnitude.
Note, also, his line about how nice it is to have "the civilian outlook that all life is sacred". This was not the only instance in which he showed contempt and derision for "civilians" as an amorphous entity of blind sheep who don't know the ways of the world.
... The same gullible, blinkered public to whom it's acceptable to lie over matters such as the truth behind the war or the murder of an innocent one moment, because otherwise they might turn on us, until it suddenly suits our interests to write them as understanding of a difficult truth. See the narrative shift of 'In the Pale Moonlight'.
Red is hardly in a position to judge, given that, upon closer analysis, his understanding of proper military procedure is in fact rather spotty. Following the above conversation, subsequent attempts to persuade him that, quite apart from any sentimental value, it would be tactically sound to neutralise the force controlling Queen Celestia before it could manifest were, essentially, rebuffed. Much like his primary villain, Redskin revels in wanton destruction, and this was what he wanted to write, post-battle body count, collateral damage and ethical implications be damned.
And Queen Celestia's horrific demise, devoured by Tirek as he forms a new body, would have been treated with all the emotional depth of a video game boss going one-winged angel in one of those fighting games Red loves so much. Actually, I'll retract that statement as a disservice to fighting games; even I, who know little about them, can name a couple fighting games of some emotional depth off the top of my head (Injustice: Gods Among Us, Tekken, the latter Mortal Kombats, etc). Bottom line, that which Red cares the most about is when there is fighting going on, or shilling of his favoured characters' alleged strengths and abilities. The rest of it all is, to him, essentially set-dressing.
Which is disheartening, to say the least.
It isn't like Red hadn't proven, through 'Pale Moonlight', that he could wish for a "happier" conclusion where it may not necessarily seem to fit. As alluded to in our above chat about Luna, following that arc, I began writing characters planning to save Queen Celestia as the heroes' reputation had been saved, as Trixie was saved. The parallels apparently flew straight over his head.
And there you have it. Another side of the story.
... Based on all I've written here, you'd be forgiven for believing I have only bad memories of Redskin. While it may feel too little, too late to say otherwise now, truth is, I don't. Like the fellow team member cited by Jed in his journal, I wouldn't have stuck for so long with the Spectrumverse if it didn't have its rewards. More than wearing rose-tinted glasses, I can state, with sincerity, that I've had some of the most fun in my life writing with these people, exchanging serious thoughts as much as silly ideas whatnot, and that includes Red. But lately, positive moments with him had grown few and far between, and his incitement at cyber-bullying is, frankly, a bridge-burner if I saw one.
Like the rest of us, I can only hope and strive for a more promising future.
Thanks for writing this, Vox.
I wish you guys all the luck in the world as you decide what to do next. As always stay safe and happy.
Thanks for writing this, vox.
4529608 Thanks, man. That means a lot.
Thanks for giving us your perspective it shows how one sided an argument can be if you only see one side of it.
"Audi alteram partem" Should be the right way to proceed since ancient times but the internet is seemingly forcing more and more knee jerk reactions.
I hope you'll get better soon.
Vox, I'm really sorry. I haven't been around that much, but hearing this disheartening, and I hope you'll be okay.
4529608
You've commented a number of times in relation to my writings, yet I believe this'd be the first time I respond beyond liking your comments.
Thank you very much for your kind words.
4551878
I don't believe we've been introduced.
Thank you for the thoughtfulness.
4555094 of course, I try to support you guys all I can ;).
Well, this is...interesting. Here I've been thinking thanks to Red's blogs that you guys had badgered your way into a story, but after reading both your and Jed's posts...not only was it turned into a collaborative work willingly (doing so when you want it to stay firmly your story is asking for turmoil), but I can see where Red can be...to be blunt, an asshole. I can see why he might be like that, as I've had friends like that and also have a few experiences that have threatened to completely jade me (though I fortunately haven't had to be in the middle of a firefight or anything like that), but that's no excuse to place yourself on a pedestal above everyone else and use those experiences as an excuse to your faults without at least attempting to keep being a good person and stay on the moral high ground. I haven't read Spectrum yet, mainly because I started tracking it to read later and have been focusing on other stories and then this fallout happened, but from what you guys shared...by the moon, that's flat out psychopathy, and not in the redeemable manner (like an anti-hero). I used to despise Celestia, seeing her as a tyrant, but I still had a soft spot for her because she was still a person. Then as DHX started giving her more character, I began to appreciate her. If Empress Celestia's actions had been completely her own, and she wasn't even the least bit remorseful (and not the "I'm losing, this was a bad idea" kind of remorse), then yeah, she would have probably deserved such a fate. But for fuck's sake, at least have the other characters in the story show some empathy. Marcus is his own character, so if he wants to give him that attitude, so be it, but don't make everyone else out of character.
I didn't really even begin to question Red's blogs aside from seeing a pity party until his second most recent one. Not only was he displaying a distasteful pursuit of a grudge in which he should really just move on instead of actively continuing to dig up old issues and beat a dead pony (which it seems Marcus would do), but...the prejudice is real. Add in that he's adding as many low blows as possible purely out of that hatred...ugh.
"And for the record, your music is shitty at best. I only said it was decent so I don't hurt your feelings. Not the case anymore."
What does that have to do with anything?
"Oh my, you had a hard time. I couldn't imagine why. Living in France with a refugee crisis ongoing. Oh. By the way, how is that president of yours doing? I hear he calls himself Jupiter now."
There's so many things wrong with this...also, as long as Macron isn't going to do crap like Trump, he can be another Napoleon for all I care - I doubt he'll be able to do anything crazy like attempting to conquer Europe without serious backlash (though I admit it would be humorous to see this trend throughout history continue, hopefully without loss of life), and if he does, as long as he doesn't pull a Hitler I still won't see him as bad as Trump, especially if he's going to help the people of France and not hinder them. Nationalism is better than forsaking your own people, at least.
"Idiot, you are a Californian. That insult alone should cover everything. Oh and were basically next to useless the entire time I know you."
As a Californian, calling this an insult is what pisses me off. We're one of the most culturally diverse states, if not the most. I've got a lot of pride for California - we might have our problems, but at least we're trying to do the right thing...except for half of our drivers, which can probably be blamed on people who originate from out-of-state with different driving laws. Only drivers worse than here in the States are in Florida.
Anyways, enough ranting
and roaring like a true British sailor, I'm thankful Red provided your names, and I'm definitely going to keep track of Spectrum, it starting anew definitely helps a lot! I really wanted to see what the other point of view was, and...well, I'm still willing to give Red a chance, nobody's perfect, and I've had friends that were like him, but...I'm an outsider looking in, It's not going to hurt me to walk away.Sorry for necro'ing your post, but I just wanted to share my thoughts and my newfound support for you guys. I don't really have much done here because I procrastinate too much, but I'm a Hell of a thinker (I've got my story outlined, I just have to type the chapters!), so if you guys want another person to at least bounce ideas with, I'm willing to assist as long as I get some sort of credit, and as sad as it is to say I pretty much have no life, so I'm available as long as I'm awake. If you guys use Discord or something, that'd be cool.
Sorry for my Text Walls of Mass Destruction, I'm a bit infamous with them, and my main flaw as a writer (I write such big sentences and so much information related to each other that I don't know when to make new paragraphs aside from topic changes or when I get self-conscious about size). Thanks for reading this, and give a reply of some sort if you can!
4601782
Thanks for sharing your thoughts: got to say, it's nice to see individuals unrelated to these events give their two pence once they've seen all the sides. At the very least, it helps to reassure me that we werent completely unreasonable in how we reacted to Red's conduct during this whole mess.
4601782 Thank you fellow, brother Californian for your large wall of text.
4601782
I apologise for waiting a while on answering you, first I had to give myself a little time to think on how to balance out everything you stated here, then I wanted to wait for the publication of the new chapter in the rebooted story. Which is all done as of today.
With two months gone by, I feel as if I can talk a little more openly about a few details I chose not to mention in my original journal.
Jed and TheIdiot have each written back to claim your words in their support were heard and appreciated, which allows me to let those exchanges speak for themselves. As for why Red would feel a need to mention President Macron in the same breath as my username;
I should acknowledge that, on the day the results of the French presidential elections were known, which was the same day Red got in touch with me for the last time, by this point, I felt so disinclined to put up with his attitude, I let my opinion slip that, at a time when politics are treading on deadly ground, writing about fighting imaginary fascist ponies kind of takes a backseat.
He did not like that. And it's true, it wasn't a very diplomatic thing to say. But Red, in whom the will for dominance seems to play a big part of who he is, has an odd habit of seeing threats everywhere except the obvious; more than him simply denying the evil in Chrysalis, his contrarian perspective on the political situation in America is what started getting most of the Team members offside.
Yet he, I promise you, told me I gave him the same bad vibes as an ex-con he'd once had for a colleague, and how good he was at sensing such things. Faced with this rather unnerving statement, I nonetheless strove to answer in the most matter-of-fact manner I could bring myself to, by saying his treatment of Celestia, Discord and Chrysalis gave me reasonable doubt on his judgement of character. And I only mentioned these fictional figures, no real-life personalities.
Still it sufficed to precipitate his meltdown.
But should I have kept quiet? I've looked back many times, and each time, I conclude that I don't think so. Because who's the more foolish, the fool or the fool that follows him?
4605782
For what it's worth, at least all of the details are out now and what has happened can now be left in the past; never forgotten, but at least shelved in favor of taking full advantage of this new beginning.
Also, once the embers die down, you usually can better see what elements served to fuel the flames, what body it chose to feed on, and even what may have caused the initial spark that led to such a blaze. With the embers mostly dimmed in this conflict in particular, it's become plainly clear that Red is the main instigator of this conflagration. Feel no regret for choosing not to speak out; it may have been for the best that the information was released with less tension in the air, lest things may have possibly been reignited, engulfing more people into conflict. At least it's just Red throwing tantrums and making a fool of himself, letting his true colors show.
The follower of the fool may be so too, but letting the fool display his ignorance with impudence is the most damning evidence that could ever be made against him, letting those patiently waiting gain the upper hand without as much effort. It's when people agree with the fool that it becomes a problem.
I hope I said something productive, I'm running on fumes right now and while this state can sometimes provide some interesting input and idealism, it also can equally make me say and do some...unorthodox things.