Statted up the President for OAD&D · 1:09am May 8th, 2017
TRUMP, DONALD
FREQUENCY: Unique 
NO. APPEARING: 1
ARMOR CLASS: -8
MOVE: 9"
HIT DICE: 1-4 Hit points
% IN LAIR: 05%
TREASURE TYPE: W
NO. OF ATTACKS: 1
DAMAGE/ATTACK: By weapon type
SPECIAL ATTACKS: Spit, rant, save vs. confusion
SPECIAL DEFENSES: Nil
MAGIC RESISTANCE: Standard
INTELLIGENCE: Semi-
ALIGNMENT: Neutral evil
SIZE: Y
PSIONIC ABILITIES: Nil
Attack/Defense modes: Nil
Donald Trump is a horrible aberration seemingly drawn from a lunatic's nightmares. While his body has the form of an Alajuela toad, his surface has the consistency (if not color) of human flesh. With his eyes and mouth closed, he appears to be a lump of earthy material, surprising creatures that stumble across him. Under ideal conditions, Trump's pungent reek can give warning of his presence up to 20' away. His only motive is to hate whatever is living and within sight, regardless of its composition. Due to his ostentatious greed, all of his possessions are gold-plated.
Donald Trump ostensibly inhabits a temperate, deforested region, but prefers to wander warmer climes. This creature propels himself by oozing forward and pulling himself along via a series of muscular contractions. Trump may move faster over fluid, viscous terrains — such as wetlands — and, given the chance, will alter the environment to allow for this faster form of movement.
Trump's heart is infinitesimal, and his gelatinous-like body will make it difficult to strike this one vital spot, hence his incredibly low Armor class.
Due to his infantile appendages, Trump attacks at -2 "to hit" dice rolls. For this reason, he will avoid any direct melee. Instead, the Donald attacks in two ways: ranting and more ranting. When Trump spots anyone different from himself, he begins ranting incoherently, causing confusion among all within a 6" radius who fail a saving throw vs. spells each round. If a character becomes confused, roll a d8 to see what action they will take:
1 Wander for 1 round
2-5 Stand stunned for 1 round
6-7 Attack the nearest minority for 1 round
8 Treat as a fear spell (save at +2) and emigrate for 4 years
Anyone targeted by Trump gets the opportunity to retaliate. If successful, Trump will withdraw and move onto another target. Otherwise, Trump will continue to deride them ceaselessly. That person must then check each round for breaking. A roll of 4 or less on 2d6 means they cry (+1 if wisdom is 15+). Donald Trump will then flow over the victim and gloat.
Exception: Trump will not attack anyone he doesn't perceive as weaker than himself. Furthermore, if he mistakenly pursues a stronger foe, they will not break down at all and Trump will give up and pretend he doesn't care after the third melee round.
Trump's vitriol is highly corrosive, causing 1d4 points of damage. Nonmetallic weapons, armor, and other items must save vs. acid or dissolve immediately if exposed for even an instant.
Bahaha
As both someone who played OAD&D and hats Trump this was a breath of fresh air.
4692508
Glad someone finally appreciates it!