Fic Recs, May 3rd: Imposing Sovereigns edition! · 9:16pm May 3rd, 2017
Hey, I finally made it! And given how much I've been complaining about it, there's no way I'm leaving this till tomorrow to post. :B
In case you live under a rock, Imposing Sovereigns was a contest run by FanOfMostEverything earlier this year, based on some stuff that, frankly, I don't recall; it's in the post I linked. Suffice to say, it attracted a lot of high-profile authors, and wrung quite a lot of excellent horse words out of them. I knew I would have to do this as an edition after seeing so many entries in the featured box, and I'm glad I did.
Buckle up, it's a long ride! (I've grouped the stories by category, as proposed in the original contest post, but they are presented within each category in the order I read them. Also, I hit a milestone! :D)
H: 11 R: 13 C: 9 V: 5 N: 2
Warriors: Princesses Who Fought Their Own Battles
A Crown of Blood and Iron by Foals Errand
Genre: Historical
With her brother the latest to die, Princess Solestia sets out to ensure no other family will have to mourn.
If there's one thing to know about this story, it's that it borrows from Maori tradition in crafting its ancient ponies, and that is something I've never seen before. But no matter how much I like stories about Celestia being a warrior (not to mention an earth pony) in olden times, I have to acknowledge this has flaws. It's in need of a good proofreading, for one; it's all buildup before an extremely brief and abrupt fight, for another. The dialogue is very "epic historical drama", which might put some off. And if not for the names, you could be forgiven for thinking this was completely OCs. Doesn't quite scratch the itch.
Recommended Only If You Like Historical Pieces
And a Sky Full of Stars by Novel-Idea
Genre: AU/Adventure
With Twilight gone and the Palace under attack, it's up to Princess Sunset Shimmer to stop a force bent on destroying the stars, magic, and her world.
It's sad to me that some people are going to look at this, go, "Sunset and Twilight are together? Shipping." and not read it. That's a shame, because this leans very heavily on that AU tag, so one could take their relationship as just another aspect thereof. It also helps with the thought that these characters have little to do with the ones we know. What I'm trying to say is, the AU tag should be your barrier to entry, not the Romance: this throws us directly into its world, and it is nothing like the Equestria we know. (It claims to be a stand-alone from the same universe as Sunlight Sliders, but since I have yet to read that, I can't say for sure how much pre-knowledge is necessary. It does at least seem like it only affects the final chapter, and at least there's some pretty extensive author's notes.) This story throws a lot of info at you and gives you zero time to process it; it's too busy being fucking epic. Bottom line, if you want to read 15,000 words of Princess Sunset wreaking solar vengeance of everything in her path, this will get your blood pumping. Just be willing to let the details slide; there's not much in the way of explanation. (But I'm definitely interested in Sliders now!)
Recommended
The Principal's Project by KingMoriarty
Genre: EQG
Sunset Shimmer ran to a new world, only to find the one she had run from.
It's a very odd thing, to write a story for a contest about warrior princesses, starring Principal Celestia. Especially when the opening chapter of said story makes it patently clear that Principal and Princess are very different people. Of course, there's a very good reason for having done either of these things, revealed in the second chapter, and from there, it's nowhere to go but up. :D Perhaps what surprised me most was my reaction. I've reveled in tragedy after tragedy detailing Sunset Shimmer's fall, yet here's a story where, spoilers, she gets to be happy in the end, and it's no less satisfying. I would hold this up to anyone who hasn't seen EQG, to maybe get yourself interested in the setting and characters.
Highly Recommended
A Song in the Dark by SPark
Genre: Historical/Dark
A drunken bet takes Luna through the gates of Tartarus.
Who's up for some Welsh folklore? :D This just oozes mythology in the making, with all the grandeur and mysticism one would expect in the oldest of real-world tales. It's also got something of a vampiric romance to it, which I didn't realize until the author's note, I'll admit, but that adds an extra layer to the mysticism part. It's a really exciting romp through dark magics and bad decisions that leave Luna scarred by the end, and best of all, she really feels like herself, despite this taking place sometime around the founding of Equestria. Neat backstory, and good storytelling to boot!
Highly Recommended
A Canterlot 'Mending by River Road
Genre: AU
Reeling from her outburst at the wedding rehearsal, Twilight bumps into the last ponies she expected to see: her old friends from Canterlot.
What happens when you mash up A Canterlot Wedding with Amending Fences? If this fic is anything to go by… something not quite as good as either, surprisingly. One of the main problems is that this is literally just an episode mashup, down to stretches of dialogue being exactly the same (and a Thorax cameo, and a scene lifted from To Where and Back Again). There aren't any real surprises if you've seen either episode. The other problem is it's got the trappings of fixfic in regards to the wedding episode, with lots of "why didn't they just", not to mention Twilight and company actually researching changelings once the secret is dropped. And I won't say this story is bad, but they get their changeling information — not to mention gear themselves up for a fight — from an RPG book. And that's about where I quit; it was just too wanky for me to want to continue reading, not when I've got a bajillion other fics left in this contest. This is a well-executed pile of really bad ideas.
DNF 3/6
Flurry's Star by Lise Eclaire
Genre: Sci-Fi
Twenty years old and still without her cutie mark, Flurry Heart goes to space to find her true purpose.
This is a fun bundle of headcanons wrapped up in a not-perfect package. The dialogue's a little wonky, and there are turns of phrase and word choices that don't quite add up. Adult Flurry's not a great character (she literally, if flippantly, refers to herself as "the princess of angst" at one point), though her quest is compelling enough regardless. Also, it ships Sunburst with Moondancer, I mean, who does that That said, some really original ideas about alicorns in here, plus pony space exploration, which is always fun. That alone makes this worth reading.
Recommended If You Don't Mind Some Writing Imprecisions
The Princess Fair of Everfree by Briarpelt
Genre: AU
King Sombra has brought war to Ponyville, not counting on the Warrior Princess of the Everfree to stand against him.
So, this has a really neat idea at its core, but it really needs the editing and expansion promised in the author's note. The story is just a summary of the events in Fluttershy's life in the Sombra Future, told with no particular weight to any one. The writing is simple and plain. And you have to deal with things like Fluttershy killing a dragon (?) with a kitchen knife (?!?). I mean, AU or no, that's hard to swallow. Again, an interesting idea, but this is just the barest laying-out thereof.
Vaguely Recommended
Noblesse by Carabas
Genre: Historical Comedy
Princess Platinum leads Smart Cookie and Clover the Clever on a journey to remove a sleeping dragon, much to their dismay.
Turns out, this is the kind of historical fanfic I want to see: Smart Cookie, Clover and Pansy as friends, working together through the founding of Equestria and against the whims of their dunderheaded sovereigns. (With Hurricane being a good bit more bullheaded than dunderheaded, but still.) But yes, this is quite good, and exceedingly funny, thanks to Clover's droll narrative and Cookie's unending font of witty comebacks. Interestingly, any sort of formal or old-timey language has been totally foregone. It's a tad offputting at first, but ultimately a good idea if it saved the author the headache of having to, y'know, conjugate verbs properly. >.> Overall, this is an excellent, hilarious, and thoroughly worthwhile read, which teaches us that those who know the least usually have the least to fear.
Highly Recommended
Pumpkin's Big Adventure by Daedalus Aegle
Sequel to Poneo and Fillyet
Genre: Adventure
Pumpkin Cake goes on a quest to save her brother, because that's what princesses do.
Between this and its prequel, it's obvious Daedalus has a talent for writing kids, something I value highly. This is a perfectly precious gem of a fic, capturing the mindset of a six-year-old with panache and making me think that Pumpkin, Pound and Flurry are going to have some amazing stories to tell by the time they're grown. But seriously, I never ceased to be charmed by the way Pumpkin narrates this; she describes a Timberwolf as "like a dead tree got mad and decided to be a big dog"! How is that not brilliant? This is a great story about just what it means to be a princess. :D
Recommended
Healing Properties by Impossible Numbers
Genre: AU
You guys know how much I read; I would consider myself an 'advanced reader', and I'm sure a lot of people would agree. I even have two English degrees! Which is why I'm still unemployed. That being said: I don't think I understood a single word of this story. Rarely could I tell what was happening; never did I understand the motivations or why's thereof. I characterize it thusly: in the process of creating a nation outside of Equestria for Lotus Blossom to be princess of, the author has crafted everything a world-builder needs, from history to culture. The author has then written this story firmly entrenched in that culture, as though it were their own, not remembering that the reader needs to be let in on the underpinnings to be able to grok what's happening. Whenever I read stories like this, I'm just never sure if it's the author's fault for being opaque, or mine for being obtuse. :C Anyway, it's incomplete.
Recommended Only If You Like Figuring Out Puzzles
Usurpers: Princesses Who Grabbed Power in a Man's World
An Orderly Transfer of Power by Kris Overstreet
Genre: Bureaucratic Comedy
A series of documents detailing the overthrow of Princess Celestia by Princess Twilight Sparkle.
This is one of those comedies, where, if I were to relate the funniest parts to you, I would just have to copy-paste the whole thing into the review, and where would that leave us? I ask you! Anyway, yes, this is bureaucratic comedy of the highest order, not to mention marvelous in-universe writing, and you should save me the trouble of copy-pasting 8,000 words by going and reading them yourselves. :D
Highly Recommended
An Apple a Day Keeps Autocracy Away by MrNumbers
Genre: Absurdism
Celestia wakes up to find she's been usurped, by one Macintosh Apple.
Okay, this would be funnier if it weren't about how Celestia is a terrible ruler. Like, can we not just give her some credit, here? Celestia being way behind on the times vis-a-vis what's considered good governance is one thing, but both she and Twilight are way out of character, so this is going to have a much more limited audience than it might otherwise. Just, this started out promising, but the more I read it, the less I liked it. Maybe it's just me, but I don't see the humor in tearing Celestia down this much.
Recommended If You Hate Celestia, I Guess
Little Truths by EbonQuill
Genre: Tragedy/High School Drama
Her first year at Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns finds Lemon Hearts caught up in a heated race to become the school's Autumn Liege for the Nightmare Night Ball.
I hate when people write sequels or side-stories as contest entries. Sometimes, it'll get me to read the original, but most of the time, it's just a hassle, and a surefire way to ensure your entry doesn't do well. (Given this one's description, that doesn't seem to be the case; I'm just ranting.) To answer my own question, when it works, it's great advertising, for both the original story and the author's other works. This piece could easily have filled a space three times as large as it does; but instead cruises in well under the contest's word limit, clipping along at an economical pace and leaning on the richness of its characters to fill in any gaps. Because oh boy, what a richness of characters is in this piece! Lemon Hearts is of course the standout, absolutely precious, making a strong impression right from the get-go. Any reader who finds the setup reminiscent of the first Equestria Girls movie would do well to hold on to that sentiment. I do take some umbrage with the ending (that tragedy tag is something of a spoiler), as it's rather unsatisfying but also doesn't quite feel like an end. I suspect this is a result of this piece being used to slot into Novel-Idea's fic and explain things that happened therein. Still, it stands alone perfectly well (I couldn't honestly identify anything that might mark it as an AU), and it's a great story of betrayal with a fantastic cast of characters. I'm looking forward to following up on that advertising now.
Recommended
The Timestone by Bachiavellian
Genre: Sad
Star Swirl only ever meant for the stone to be used five times.
This is one of those stories where you know how it's going to end — five uses, five visits, and then Star Swirl's life is forfeit — but that doesn't stop the ending from being a complete gut-punch. It's really an amazing concept, and telling it from Star Swirl's POV was the perfect way to go. Seeing the way he and Celestia interact, what things she goes to him for advice about, were great, and of course the last chapter was the best (and worst), but I shan't spoil what happens. Suffice to say, this is clever and heart-breaking, and one of the best Star Swirl characterizations I've ever read.
Highly Recommended
Waxing Gibbous by iisaw
Reading by Scarlett Blade
Genre: AU
After meeting a Princess from another world, the Princess of the Night isn't as content with her rule as she once was.
The recap of the events from the Nightmare Moon Future were kind of a low point, but they serve an interesting purpose: lulling the reader into false security directly before a twist. This is not what we saw in The Cutie Re-Mark, or at least not what we thought we saw. I'll say I was a little put out by the ending, which feels like a hook for a sequel more than an actual resolution, but this is still fun and surprising.
Recommended
Crystal Glass Ceilings by Pineta
Genre: Polemic
To crystal ponies, the most important thing about a princess is that she look pretty.
I wondered about the large number of downvotes on this story going into it. Sure enough, it's blunt and preachy. :/ It's a shame, because the "Usurper" portion of this contest is a hard sell in a matriarchy, and using the Crystal Empire as a window into a more conservative past was a good idea to get around that. The links with Cadence really wanting the Equestria Games and Spike's upcoming statue gave this a solid basis in canon. (Not to mention I unexpectedly loved drill sergeant Cadence!) But where it seemed at first like this would be a clever comedy taking pot-shots at ancient patriarchy, this instead devolves into Twilight and Cadence forcefully discussing how important it is that Girls Do Things. If you've always wondered why people harp on that so much, well, this story illustrates the idea in the most direct way possible, but I know I don't like being hammered over the head with messages, even when I agree with them.
Vaguely Recommended
Motherly by Trick Question
Reading by Scribbler, et. al.
Genre: Changeling Fic
Queen Puparia tried her best to make sure her daughter would be as ruthless as she was.
This here is a good use of season six canon to contemplate what Chrysalis's childhood might have been like. I rather like what's been done with changeling society otherwise. It's maybe a little cartoonish (see "un-frown", and cutesy changeling words), but the hostility the Queen feels towards other changelings, as well as toward the very emotion she feeds upon, go a long way to explaining why Chrysalis turned out the way she did. Not to mention the Queen herself is a pretty good character, especially right at the end of the story. This is a solid read!
Recommended
Schemers: Princesses Who Plotted and Planned
The Other Princess by GhostOfHeraclitus
Genre: Civil Service-verse
Celestia entrusts Dotted Line to help her sister catch up on the governing changes she's missed. Poor him.
Well, if I had to read yet another story about Luna adjusting to life in the present, I'd much rather it involve Dotted Line somehow. I love the way Luna is characterized in this, somehow more exuberant than she was in Luna Eclipsed, all but vibrating from scene to scene. She makes an excellent foil for Dotted, especially once it becomes clear what her true purpose in government is meant to be. Add in a healthy dose of Ghost's usual bureaucratic comedy chops and a few good "after the fact" jokes, and you've got a solid read.
Recommended
Flurry Heart's First Kiss by Georg
300th Review of 2017/Review #4200!
Genre: Cute
Flurry Heart just wants the shiny mauve colt's third cookie.
This is an adorable kid's-eye-view story about children mimicking adult behavior without understanding it. It's perfectly sweet, but then, I have a soft spot for stuff like this.
Recommended
Heaven Can Wait by princeps
Genre: Mage Crossover/EQG
The discovery of a new pulsar leads Twilight to learn far more about the nature of the world than she'd anticipated.
First, a few things about these stories. The author withdrew them from the contest, but I'm reviewing them because disregard unsavories, acquire currency. :V They're crossovers with the World of Darkness roleplaying game Mage: The Awakening, which I have very little experience with (so little experience, in fact, that I didn't realize it's the newer version of the original Mage game, which I barely know more about!), and apparently in continuity with another of the author's stories. Lastly, I read them in order of publication, which means the reverse order of how they're presented here. V: And, having read the other two, I can say this is the least satisfying of the bunch. Those are stories about troubled people finding a hidden part of themselves; this is about Sci-Twi going fucking insane and destroying part of her university. I mean, as soon as she starts listening to Midnight Sparkle, all hope is lost. There's not enough buildup to support her actions, there's a heightened sense of drama, and the intermingling of real and fantastic isn't particularly well balanced. Plus, the 'princess' part of the prompt is nakedly shoehorned in, which admittedly goes for all three. (And then there's what she calls herself at the end.) It's just not as much fun watching Twilight make mistake after mistake, not when nothing really comes of it in the end.
Not Recommended
Survivors: Princesses Who Made Controversial and Questionable Choices
Stay Determined by Czar_Yoshi
Genre: AU/Time Loop
With the fate of the world in the balance, Starlight Glimmer leads her friends in one final assault against the Princess of Time. She's going to get everypony their happy ending.
This story is insane, and you might need to be a little nuts yourself to grasp it in its entirety. I certainly found some of the deeper, more philosophical passages hard to follow. But what this seems to be doing is adding some life to the "wasteland future" from season 5's finale, presenting us a pair of Starlight Glimmers who constantly remake each other in an endless figure-eight time loop (hopefully that isn't too spoilery). The breadth of the loop is the real draw, though, and anyone who enjoys stories that play with time will doubtless be rewarded for making it through this one.
Recommended
Debt (Or: Trial by Fire) by SirNotAppearingInThisFic
Genre: Historic
The second year after Luna's banishment brings conflict to Everfree.
This is a tense historic thriller about Celestia trying to figure out how to deal with a bunch of Nightmare Moon cultists after putting down their insurrection. If it's undercut by anything, it'd be the dialogue. The EME passes the Luna Test, but it's also not used consistently. (Thank goodness the author didn't go for the classical lettering!) And, well, maybe it's not as tense as I suggested initially. Not bad, though.
Recommended If You Like Historic Fics
Nowhere Fast by princeps
Genre: Mage Crossover/EQG Character Piece
A foreign exchange trip to Australia fails to provide the life change Trixie was hoping for.
Y'know, the inclusion of a real-world country in the EQG-verse might actually be the strangest part of this. I mean, Trixie's host even has a real human name! Makes you wonder what the heck Equestria actually is. That distance from the source material is a big part of what makes this feel like, well, original fiction. I mean, it's Trixie, but she's got a much different background from even the human Trixie we know; she's obviously been through a lot since high school. Solidly half of the story details her making quick friends with the aforementioned host, but otherwise finding no relief from the problems she thought she left behind her. Then the weird stuff starts happening, and it's a lot of fun to watch. The mundanity of the first half honestly does make for a good contrast. And I do love headcanon that Trixie's love for showmanship comes from her grandfather; this is at least the second story I've seen recently using that idea. Honestly, the only thing that holds me back from a full recommendation here is just that idea that this is barely fanfic.
Recommended If You Don't Demand Horses in Even in Your Queegee Fics
The World Fades to White by ReluctantBrohoof
Genre: Adventure
Young Prince Rutherford follows his princess into the heart of a blizzard, to find the Crystal Empire.
The first thing I noticed about this was that our yak POV character no speak like yak. Smash! I'm pleased to say, the explanation for this was completely satisfying. Though even before that was out of the way, this was a fun read. Unequivocally, this is a very good story, economically sending us through a future tribulation, which only makes it an even easier read. Definitely check it out!
Recommended
The Honing of Perfection by Dafaddah
Genre: Changeling Fic
This reminds me strongly of Motherly, if for no other reason than it's about a young Chrysalis learning a hard lesson, and it's full of cutesy changeling words. :P That said, life in the hive is depicted far more… the only word I can think of is "reasonably". They all just sort of behave like misunderstood ponies, is what I'm getting at. Chrysalis as protector of the weak is a hard characterization to buy, though this works decently with it. Cutesy as it may be, it also paints a picture of a dying hive and the rush of changelings to try and replace their queen with a viable princess. If nothing else, it's just pleasantly bizarre reading a fic about grubs. Season six really did us a favor with that.
Recommended for Changeling Fans
Partiers: Princesses Who Loved to Live it Up
The Road Goes on Forever by AugieDog
Genre: Character Piece
Twilight's never been better.
This is the kind of off-kilter piece you're unlikely to see without a writing prompt behind it. Twilight, high on life — or something — going about her day, treating the panoply thereof as "the party"? It's like she's been crossed with Pinkie or something. I thought for a second, there was going to be some sinister reveal near the end, but it never came, leaving this as a completely upbeat, energetic look at a Twilight I don't think we've ever really seen. And I do think it explains itself by the end, though how well that explanation works for the reader will vary. If nothing else, it's got a lot of good writing, because, hey, look who wrote it.
Recommended
Party of One by princeps
Genre: Mage Crossover/EQG Character Piece
Lemon Zest awakes one morning to find she's the only person left in an empty, quiet world.
It's always interesting, seeing what authors do with the Shadowbolts. They've barely got a single personality between them, but there's definitely room to be had for backstories and the like regardless. Lemon Zest in this story thus feels true to what little we know about her. More importantly, this goes down a path far different from what I expected from the "Time Enough at Last" meets Groundhog Day scenario she finds herself in. The opening is a tad erudite, the Mage stuff is kind of just shoved in at the end, and this might be a hard read, being that it's 13k words with no scene break, but it was definitely interesting, and paints Lemon Zest as a whole character, far better than the movie did.
Recommended
Princess Celestia's Best Night Ever by Norad2
Genre: Comedy
Sometimes, a story just bounces off you and it's hard to say why. Maybe it's because this doesn't exactly sound like Celestia, even in a post-Celestial Advice world. (Which appears to be an intentional thing, given the A/N.) Maybe it's because the plot can be summed up as "Celestia's take on the Grand Galloping Gala", complete with copious scenes ripped straight from the show. Maybe it's because it's kind of early and I'm still sleepy. For whatever reason, this just didn't leave an impression on me.
Vaguely Recommended
Snowblind by Aquaman
Genre: Drama
A King meets a Princess in a nightclub, and things go downhill from there.
Just reading the first paragraph, I knew it had been too long since I last read an Aquaman fic. The language is lush and rich, and it's really easy to get lost in the joy of reading, even as I was trying desperately to visualize an older Flurry Heart. Speaking of which, I'm finding I really enjoy stories where she grows up to be a scamp, for any definition thereof. (See also: The Skyla Pseudonym.) That said, a story about a foreign dignitary hooking up with a Princess and getting shit-faced in more ways than one isn't gonna be everyone's idea of a good read. There's more to it than the carousing and drug use, of course; Flurry spends her days partying because she feels adrift in a life she did nothing to earn. It's a good character arc for her. There's more, but I shan't give it away. Suffice to say, if you're willing to give this a shot, it will be totally worth your time.
Highly Recommended
Respect and Respectability by bookplayer
Genre: Historical
Immediately between driving the wendigoes off and trying to found a nation is not, in Clover's opinion, the best time for a party.
So this takes place in continuity with bookplayer's ongoing story Sun and Hearth, which irked me, because I don't read incompletes, but I'm tracking it. Well, diving in, this is instantly accessible, so no problems there. It reminds me of Noblesse, in that Princess Platinum is a thorn in Clover's side, but a necessary thorn. In this case, it becomes obvious that Platinum's skill is in politics, highly important for an unsociable pony like Clover. Platinum may act rather dismissive of her in general, but the unicorn nobles are far, far worse, and Clover's not going to be the one to keep them in line as a newly minted leader. I mean, heck, Platinum has no problems weaving the tale of an Equestria-to-be, when her court is busy being aghast at the thought of sharing any space with earth ponies and pegasi! This is honestly a really clever bit of storytelling; the audience is meant to sympathize with Clover and all her put-upon, introverted Twilight-ness, but Platinum is far and away the hero Equestria needs. It's a very simple conflict — is magic more important than making ponies happy? — and it's explored perfectly. Really, Platinum's only problem is she seems unable to connect with Clover on a level the mage will understand, and as such, her decisions come off as poorly considered and worse explained. But I see through them, you can't fool me, bookplayer! >:V Anyway, this is excellent stuff, be sure to read it. I look forward to Sun and Hearth finishing up.
Highly Recommended
Floozies: Princesses Notorious for Their Sexy Exploits
Why There Are So Many White Unicorns in Equestria by Captain_Hairball
Genre: Historical Sexual Comedy
I mean, you can probably guess.
I'm not sure I can tag this appropriately; it's not as strong a comedy as you might think. In fact, under the layers of sex and occasional comedy, there is death. I mean preoccupation with death. I mean a solid, sweet core of humanity, or at least something I identify with highly. I love the way Celestia is written in this: she's nineteen, fresh from the war with Discord, new to being both an alicorn and princess, and trying to rule half a country while worrying whether or not everything she does will be for naught. So she bangs every stallion she can find, to take her mind off the problems. Luna, meanwhile, is written equally well as a serious little nerd, yet her role was considerably more surprising than I expected. In fact, quite a lot of this piece is surprising, and that might be as much of a draw as the aforementioned humanity. This could use another editing pass, but I think, if you can deal with the occasional typo, you'll find this a fun, perhaps even memorable read.
Highly Recommended
We Must FUCK to Survive! by Morning Sun
Genre: Random Comedy
Sex is what gives alicorns their vitality, and Luna has been celibate for a thousand years.
Just a little artistic liberty with the title, there. We all know what it says. :V Anyway, this starts off with Luna crying because she "got a boo-boo", and I'm like, oh, it's one of those comedies. Then Celestia took it as a serious matter of state, and I stood corrected: this is one of those comedies. Although, really, it's just a goofy random comedy with a little sex thrown in because. It relies maybe too heavily on the name of who Luna has sex with for comedy, but other than that, I was amused.
Recommended for Laughs
Princess Cadance's Official Princess Harem of Imported Humans from Another World by Skywriter
Genre: Random Comedy
With the Crystal Empire strapped for national funds, Shining Armor tries to convince his wife to dial back the harem a little.
You really don't expect someone like Skywriter to produce a line like "Dear, do I really have to explain the difference between cuckolding and hotwife to you?" You really don't expect Skywriter to write a fic about Princess Cadence kidnapping Queegees for her harem, not because she wants to, but because she doesn't want to disappoint Celestia, either. Yet, he has. What. Suffice to say, this is the best story of such character you are likely to read. Who exactly she kidnaps is hilarious! And the whole thing is, I'm sure, some kind of effort to lampoon Equestria Girls. I just don't even.
Recommended
By the Book by Thought Prism
Genre: Sexual Comedy
Minuette declares Twilight needs to get laid. Twilight does not exactly get it.
Why were all the Floozy fics comedies? I mean, that's an interesting coincidence. I thought I was the only one who found pony sex inherently funny. :V Anyway, this captures good ol' socially clueless Twilight perfectly. I mean, it's the kind of fic where you get to her first attempt to attract attention from males, and you just have to facepalm and groan, "Oh, Twilight." (Or is that just me?) The ending's a little weak, but overall, this was fun.
Recommended for Laughs
Madwomen: Princesses Who Were Likely Mad, or Close to It
Ember, Hoardsmelter by Bugsydor
Genre: Light Comedy
Garble is not exactly happy with the Dragonlord's latest decrees.
This story feels ever so slightly off, like it wants to be a comedy but didn't quite make the commitment. I can't really argue with the end result, though. It's thoroughly charming and generally amusing, even if it covers large patches of ground in as little time as possible. Fans of world-building will appreciate the ways Dragonlord Ember changes dragon society, to boot, and non-fans of Garble might enjoy the ways he changes as well. Fun times!
Recommended
Evil Is Easy, Governing Is Harder by Aragon
Reading by Illya Leonov, et. al.
Genre: Comedy/Adventure
Daring Do is the only hero who can stand against the oppressive rule of Queen Tyrant Celestia.
When I talk about "out-of-character humor", I mean things like Celestia acting like a frat bro, or Twilight blatantly disrespecting Spike. The ponies in this story aren't so much out of character as they are infected with a type of blithe insanity, to which only Daring Do is immune, the poor dear. This leads to marvelous scenes like a discussion of just how kinky tying someone up with a whip is, Luna being excited about how good she's doing at being a prisoner, or parrying a minotaur with a baby. Practically everyone, besides Daring, is okay with what's going on, and that's where the humor comes from. Otherwise, this is a madcap Daring Do adventure and a fiendishly clever one, given that all the weirdness has a reason, which I shall not spoil. Just know that this is Aragon at his best, and it is a must-read, definitely deserving of the win.
Highly Recommended
Sleep by Cynewulf
Genre: Psychological
Sometimes, Princess Cadence walks the halls at night. It's not that strange.
This is an intense, unsettling piece, walking a line somewhere between thriller and horror, with a bit of mystery thrown in. The best part is definitely when Cadence starts to realize she's going mad; I always appreciate stories that can pull that off. It does feel like the prelude to something longer, come the end, but it's worth the time regardless.
Recommended
The Perfect Rule of Empress Flurry Heart by Razor Blade the Unicorn
Genre: Horror
All the Crystal Ponies love Flurry Heart and her huge wings.
If nothing else, this story makes good of two things: colored text, and bad EME. Unfortunately, it's really a bit short to fully evoke any kind of feeling by the end. I mean, I can definitely see what it was going for, it just doesn't quite get there. Might be worth a quick look if you're into more experimental fics.
Vaguely Recommended
…This is not a story. horizon, wat u dong
When Canterlot Burns by SilverShadow2722
Genre: Dark
Rainbow Dash made this nation great.
I am reading the revised version of this story, fyi. This is a neat look at a world ruled by an alicornized Rainbow Dash gone mad, and the revolution, led by Sky Stiner and Vapor Trail, that eventually overthrows her. It's a neat use of show characters, but it relies a lot on the reader to fill in gaps, and it follows a very superficial "what have I done" kind of plot. The "encyclopedia entry" is a neat in-universe touch, if dry, but the final scene got a big 'eh' out of me. Might be worth a quick read if you're into "bad future" scenarios.
Vaguely Recommended
The Last Sunset by River Road
Genre: Post-Apocalypse
My name is Sunset Shimmer, and I am the Princess of a dead Equestria.
Yeah, wow. So Sunset returns from Humania sometime after a cataclysm robs Equestria of all life and most of its magic, and gets pooped through the mirror in a bizarre amalgamation of Demon and Daydream Shimmer, in pony form, of course. Heck of an image, ain't it? Also, the two halves talk to her. So yeah, this is overall pretty grim, and doesn't always come off as real journal writing (notably, stuttering), but I've always been fascinated by end-of-the-world fics, and this one, with its empty Equestria, is no different. And of course, what's really neat is just who she finds who's survived the cataclysm; it's not a lot, but they're pretty much all big "oh shit" moments. (Though it makes the cardinal sin of using 'thestral', that's a 50 DKP minus.) This is a fun read, and I like where it ends.
Recommended
Hah, I was having enough trouble remembering to have Platinum keep referring to herself in the plural. Trying to properly conjugate my yes/thees/thous/thines on top of that would have produced a trainwreck visible from orbit. I am not a clever man.
Glad you thought highly of it!
I feel like I am missing something painfully basic here, and I like the shame
pridemyself on my memetic knowledge.What the blue fuck is a "Queegee" or an EME?
4518922
seconded on these questions. i have no idea what those terms mean
Well, this is a delightful surprise.
Thank you for taking the time to put all of this together. It's still kind of staggering to see just how many responses I got for something I set up on a whim.
Also, with regards to horizon's entry, that was the reason why he didn't have the time to write his actual entry. He asked if he could submit a nonfiction entry working on the hypothesis that the car thief was a Equestrian emigre, I said yes, and then I named her after a giant train.
4518922 4518923
EME is Early Modern English, with all the thees and thous and such. Based on context, "Queegee" appears to be PP's term for Equestria Girl humanoids.
oi64.tinypic.com/29c5jrk.jpg
....but for real, thanks for the review. Very happy you liked it!
...this is the greatest thing that's ever been said about anything I've ever written.
Okay, okay! I promise to write a sequel! Or prequel! Or some -quel thingy. (This is actually the most common comment I got on Sky!)
Thank you! This simply made my day! I'm even more thrilled you enjoyed Little Truths! Ebon worked his tail off on that story (and had to deal with me every step of the way). Honestly, Sunset in this story is simply terrifying for me to see. She's far worse than she ever was in EqG 1 (You know, if you ignore the whole demon/attempted murder thing.
).
...That went slightly better than expected.
Not sure what the difference between being out of character and 'being infected with a sort of blithe insanity' is.
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/a9/Gogogo.jpg
Good overall looks at them, Mostly agree, only ones I really was off on in any real way were Little Truths, but that's A. Bit to dark for my tastes and B I have read Wavelengths and this fic has a rather serious continuity mistake. The whole first 'prank' Sunset pulls is something she very explicitly made a rather huge deal of being a line she had never crossed and was actually horrified at somepony doing. So that kind of ruined things. (Also going by how Wavelengths works, this fic isn't technically an AU, as Wavelengths is a divergent timeline, but the divergence point is still a year away in 'verse when Sunset decides to stay in Equestria rather then go through the mirror.)
And Snowblind, but mostly for reasons you even specified, it requiring rather narrow tastes.. plus even Aquaman admits it's not really a pony fic, just a general story given a pony skin. Though.. that bit about Flurry partying for those reasons... is it? Was that true.. or just a line of BS she was tossing the guy to try and get him to open up and let down his guard?
Also Gibbous, damn that thing is so good, but already went over enough of why.
So yeah, good overall looks at the stories, if a bit brief.
Really need to get to work more on that last group of fic reviews..
Oh and you did not miss much with 'Mending.... just also cramming in MMC and Sunset to the mix for even more fixfix fun.
4518946 If he's a madman... do I want to know what that makes me?
Thanks for the reviews in general, and for the review on Ember, Hoardsmelter in particular. It seems that "a little off, but enjoyable" is where I consistently land. I wonder what that says about me?
4518940
Now I feel dumb. But in my defense, 'Quee' doesn't seem that the correct phonetic spelling for "Q." To me that looks like it should be pronounced 'kwee'...and that that didn't grok to me.
68.media.tumblr.com/a7ee0ddf1ece84108cc46c33f092bec2/tumblr_inline_opbygvUq6a1td7gqn_540.png
Sky Stiner eh?
Very cool and glad you enjoyed so many of the fics. This contest was a blast to work on.
Thanks for all your hard work, and glad you thought my little bit of silly was worthwhile!
Kudos for
suffering throughtaking the time to read through and write up something forevery singleeveryone-but-horizon's entries.Consistently, I suppose not; however, the shift in how it was used was intentional. Sometimes I try things so subtle that I probably shouldn't have bothered. Or maybe I just got it wrong. I can only hope that passing the "Luna Test" is a good thing.
I'm glad too.
4518897
4518922
4518923
Here seems like a good place to note that Early Modern English is a great way to make your brain throb for a straight week when you first try to use it properly.
Hey, now, no need to be like that. You don't need to hate her for it, it's just a character deconstruction comedy in Aragon's style. The point isn't that you have to hate Celestia to enjoy it, but that you need to have preconceived notions about her for it to challenge.
And you did, but your preconceived notions about her were such that you didn't find that kind of humour enjoyable. That's fine, that's perfectly understandable. It's divisive comedy for that reason, and I had the alternate ending there in my own style because of it.
But that's more an issue of your preferences, rather than the story.
4519104
This is because I am an English language champion. :B
4519139
Yeah. I originally rated your fic an N, but realized quickly that was entirely due to my biases. Which are so strong, the best I can muster is a backhanded compliment because I don't know who would like that story. I legitimately hate it, and it made me question the purpose of existence for like three solid days. Or at least contemplate quitting the fandom. :B Full truth.
4519166
One sec, I'm adding this to my user profile. Cheers.
4519166
i.imgur.com/tMdUgAE.png?1
4519139
4519166 While I didn't want to quit the fandom, yea, it didn't feel so much deconstructionist as just mean-spirited to me so I didn't really like it.
And PP, yep, you have We Must F*** right on the nose. It's a silly comedy, one of THOSE that seem to be what comes easiest to me.
This worries me.
4519230
A whole bunch of really bad shit happened to me right around the time I read that fic, so while it's probably hyperbole to blame it for making me want to quit the fandom, it's funny to see it as a nexus of misfortune. :V
4519526 No, no, totally blame it, I agree it is wholly justified
That's a failed result however you look at it. Even given the last-minute, strange, and overworked nature of the fic, I still genuinely have no idea how ideas that made so much sense in my head translated so badly onto the page, but clearly I was missing something crucial.
Until further notice, I'm revoking it for an overhaul. Healing Properties just isn't in its best condition right now. (I mean heck, you marked its genre as AU; unless that's a simple mistake on your part, it's a clear sign of how poorly my vision got across, as the fic was never meant to be an AU story, but a backstory).
4519636
I couldn't help but feel it was an awfully roundabout way to go about giving a character a backstory. And given how far removed this Lotus and Aloe are from the ones we see in the show, and their opinion of Celestia and Equestria -- the only show properties we see in the story -- I couldn't take it as anything other than AU. Of course, I also didn't read the second, unfinished chapter; I got to the end of part one and breathed a huge sigh of relief. :/
4519686
Touché. That sense of AU is most likely because the increasing word count of the fic pushed hard against the deadline, making it impossible to finish in time. That missing later part was supposed to bridge the gap, and the first half is easy to interpret as AU, in hindsight.
If the first chapter wasn't your cup of tea, then you're definitely not missing much in the second one. Also, I'm genuinely sorry to hear that. It's not a mistake I want to repeat anytime soon.
4519730
If you rewrite it, and I hope you do, do let me know and I'll give it another try. :B
One could argue that all Mane 6 romance fics are inherently AU. That one would be me by the way.
4519230
4519526
Well, to be fair, it was mean-spirited humor. That was kind of the entire point -- but it's a really divisive brand of humor, and a lot of people ain't gonna like it. So I guess fair's fair. I wouldn't say that's the story's fault, though. What it tries to do it does perfectly; it's just appealing to a niche audience. But whatever, I'm just being butthurt in the opposite direction, there's no reason to fight. UNLESS...
As per my review: wooo. Deserved win. Woooo. PP spoiled the entire baby joke in the review. Woooo.
Nah, for realses, glad you liked it. It was a riot to write, and I'm immensely happy that people seem to like it. I was honestly thinking it'd flop hard while writing it, so it was a real surprise to see people enjoying it. Daring Do and Sugar Song are super fun characters to write, so maybe I'll bring them back at some point. Unno.