Celestial Advice and All Bottled Up first impressions

First impressions review of MLP:FiM season 7, episodes 1 and 2
By Obake

(SPOILERS!)

On this special edition of first impression reviews, we have two regular episodes in one! Given the show's shaky track record with two-part specials, perhaps the staff chose toning down to make things easier. Given the upcoming movie, it would only make sense.

But the two episodes they start with are, uh...strange. How else to describe them? I'm going to break these into mini reviews.

Celestial Advice (s07e01)

A bland, otherwise inoffensive opener. The heroes from the last special, Trixie, Starlight, Discord, and Thorax, are honored with a ceremony. During which, Discord sets to make Twilight a nervous wreck, convincing her that she needs an ultimate plan for Starlight. You know, like Celestia had for Twilight in becoming a princess? There's an idea in this, given the parallels between Celestia and Twilight, and Twilight and Starlight. But the episode fails to deliver and is instead just dull.

Twilight is a complete basket case, the most unhinged she's been since Lesson Zero. I don't recall the buildup towards her craziness there, but I know it was more natural. Here her worries stem from feeling she has to send Starlight to a new locale. The problem is that there were reasonable circumstances why Celestia sent Twilight away. Why Twilight feels she has to do the same with Starlight is beyond me. Twilight is known for her irrationality, but it feels so forced in this case.

The crux of the episode is Celestia sitting down Twilight and Spike, and explaining how she, too, was a nervous wreck. Back before the events of the series pilot, Celestia did not want to send Twilight away, worried that her star pupil would forget about her. Twilight, now knowing that her idol used to have worries like her, regains her confidence. It might be a heartwarming moment if the episode gave any sort of time to establish this new information. I have no problem with the concept, but the execution falls flat, especially with Spike needlessly interrupting Celestia's narration.

A few extras:
*There are actually a few nice things to say. I like one of Discord's gags (when he pulls his head off of his neck), and Celestia's comment on how she didn't know her name was used as an expression. I was also provided with the biggest laugh I've had from the show in years, from a line given by Sunburst: “Picture the clock you want to make.” only it doesn't sound like he says clock. I ranted about lines said in Buckball Season, but there I felt the writers were purposely trying to sneak something under the radar (plus I've since recanted my arguments and apologized.) Sunburst's line seems like a genuine fluke, which is why it is so funny.
*The Changelings apparently do not know what friendship is (and I don't just mean in Twilight's fantasy.) Odd, given that they are a sentient species. Even malicious people know what friends are, they just do not have the same moral compasses as good people.

All Bottled Up (s07e02)

That last review took a lot longer to write than it should have, especially for a nowhere episode. At least All Bottled Up is more interesting, though it is worse.

Starlight spends a day teaching Trixie magic, while the Mane 6 are out on a friendship retreat. By retreat, I mean puzzle room. It is a fun concept, sadly squandered by the episode in the most demeaning way. But more on that in a bit.

The real focus is Starlight dealing with Trixie. I always found Trixie to be an intelligent, albeit petty and underhanded, individual. Here she is simply annoying, destroying cupcakes Starlight makes, turning random objects into teacups, making snide and obvious comments, and teleporting the map table to an unknown location. She also sincerely asks what a friendship retreat is. I know not everyone knows what some things mean, but this is simply insulting to both her character and to the audience. The dialogue as a whole feels dumbed down. Which should not be the case seven seasons in.

The episode's conflict is Starlight not expressing her feelings, and instead bottling them up. I mean that literally in this case, as Starlight stores her frustrations in a bottle, until the bottle breaks, sending the anger into Granny Smith, Bulk Biceps, and a random store pony. It resolves with Starlight and Trixie making up for their mistakes, and praising their friendship. Not that they ever seemed to be best friends before this episode, despite working together.

But what about the Mane 6 and the puzzle room? They solve it, using teamwork and friendship! They even have a song number about how great of friends they are! In all honesty, there is absolutely no substance to this subplot, not even a funny gag. Plus that song...my GRAVY is it a mess. It is like elements from past songs tossed onto a record and spun at turbo speed. A puzzle room has the potential for making great stories, and here it is simply nonsense fluff. Oh, well.

A few extras:
*Hasbro seems to be barring down harder on YouTube uploads. Because of course. You know what I would do if I ran Hasbro? I would upload the episodes myself on the official Hasbro channel, and make money off of ads from there. It could be shown on both television AND the internet, and in doing so, make more money. But why worry about making profit when you can be ungrateful?
*The Mane 6 fall short of breaking the record time for solving the puzzle room, which the stallion running the place comments "Probably shouldn't have sung that song." Could not agree more.
*I have to complement the design of the ponies infected with Starlight's rage. Their eyes glow red, and there is real menace to them. I also like that Starlight's hair grows more frazzled as the episode progresses. Some good things to take away, at least.