Tartarus Forged Consensus and Changes... Maybe · 7:39am Apr 15th, 2017
The votes are in, and most of you said I should just turn Tartarus Forged into an all out Alternate Universe. So that's what we'll do. Here's the the planned changes as a result.
Tartarus Forged began as a joke I had no real intention of taking seriously. I mean, come on. Trapped in hell and returned an epic badass?
I was ripping off DOOM so hard it's not funny. But then the story did what I had never even hoped it would do. It hit the Features Box and started to jump up the rungs of the ladder of popularity ten at a time. Needless to say I was shocked, awed, and a whole lot of intimidated.
After that I made the decision to try my best on this story. I firmed up some concepts, decided on a basic course, and made a rule. That rule was that there would only be two major changes from canon. Those changes were Twilight't inability to control her magic at the age of sixteen, which kicked off her trip to Tartarus, and that Tirek ruled Tartarus, which kicked off Twilight being taken under his wing.
Those of you who have been paying attention should know I messed up badly. The very first thing I changed that I really didn't need to was Twilight becoming an Anthro. Like I said before, I had personal reasons for doing that, and even went out of my way to try and give an in-story reason for it, but honestly... I feel like I shouldn't have done it.
Sunset Shimmer's banishment, while not directly addressed in the story yet, was also changed. Instead of getting through the mirror, she failed and was subsequently banished to the Badlands for Treason. She should have been executed, but Celestia gave as much mercy to her still beloved former student as she possibly could without causing riots.
Next up is Nightmare Moon. Canonically she's a joke. She bragged when her enemies were not dead or unconscious, she underestimated her enemies, and she didn't take them down when she had the chance. Multiple times. Granted, some of her traps were lethal, but not really reflective of the supposed great power being an Alicorn gave her. I wanted Twilight's first rodeo on Equestria to be epic, so I completely and utterly flouted my own "Two Changes Only" rule and made Nightmare Moon far more menacing and dangerous, and in the process created a world where a fourth of the population was killed off before we got past the first two episodes.
I gotta say, it takes a special kind of ignorance to buck up that badly... I'm still cringing every time I read it.
Moving on, we come to Celestia's armor, the Aegis of Rulers. Fair warning, this following bit is spoilers.
I designed the Aegis of Rulers to be an amplifier for Alicorns, similar in function to the Alicorn Amulet, but different. First of all, it didn't change the user's personality. It did, however, lock the user's consciousness away and force the body to remove the threat to the user's subjects. Permanently. Once put on, it couldn't be removed until the threat was gone.
And I don't even know what I was trying to do with the Elements of Harmony...
Now that I have listed off everything I did wrong, here's what I'm going to do about it.
Like I said before, the very first thing I'm doing is officially dumping the Divergent Universe thing and making this into an Alternate Universe completely. No more "Two Changes Only" rule.
Some of you know my intention was to have Sunset forced back into Exile after the Nightmare Moon incident, but I'm now rethinking that. I'm not sure just yet, but I may have Celestia alter it so she's bound to Ponyville. She'll never be allowed to leave, and never be allowed to attain any position of power.
Next I'm going to reign in Nightmare Moon slightly. Not a lot, just enough to make it so her Shadows are only terrorizing Ponyville, Canterlot, and the Everfree Forest. Don't get me wrong, Nightmare Moon is still threatening all life on Equus with her actions, she's just not doing it actively.
The Aegis of Rulers will remain, but I feel like I could have handled that scene better. I'm not sure why, but there you go. It's also becoming a Chekhov's Gun. I have an idea of what I can do with it later on.
The Elements of Harmony are going to stay as they are. What that is... is a secret! Shame on you for expecting me to give away one of my bigger surprises.
*Wags finger.*
And finally... this all hinges on your opinion. I think this will fix the story so I'll be happy with it, but I write for you guys just as much as I do myself. I want to make sure this is okay with you all before I implement it.
If you don't think I should do it, I'll try and make something of what's there, but the Nightmare Moon bit will change. I hate that I essentially turned her into a world-ending killing machine that is succeeding.
You better not take out the anthro! Twilight and spike need to be thumb bros. THUMB BROS! They have to have a thumb war!
Gonna get you, baby
What's the chance anyone got this reference?
to tell the truth I thought Tirek's reasons for "upgrade" of Twilight made since, but I might have read way more into his motives then you meant there to be.
I just hope you aren't going to change it too much, or it will become another story altogether.
I think the way Twilight is now is appropriate for this story. Not fully anthro, just some human-like features (as current story) is good - given an air of uniqueness and points you can put your idea in. (just don't do crossover, that is bad)
The change in Sunset's banishment is good, I guess. This way, you don't have to explain the mirror portal later. Plus you can keep the mirror wold as a later story plot when the casts bump upon it by accident.
I am looking forward to more of your story.
4496908 The things I'm changing are more behind the scenes stuff than anything else. The only thing I'll be changing that's already written is the death-toll caused by the Shadows, as well as nerfing Nightmare Moon's sadistic nature.
Not bad. I probably need to reread Sunset's stuff again because I thought that you where still using the mirror not what you talked about. Now let's see how this wraps up.
4496911 I see. Then, that should be alright. Looking forword to it.
Thanks for the explanations of the alterations. I particularly liked the alteration to Sunset's banishment. And, yet, altering it so that she is confined to Ponyville and assigned to learn about friendship alongside Twilight IS a pretty good idea. At the very least, Twilight would have a dueling partner capable of matching her power so she can keep her fighting skills sharp between adventures in NON-life-or-death scenarios AND the Mane Six would have somebody there capable of protecting Ponyville when they are away on Elements of Harmony business.