Present Perfect vs. Project Horizons, Book 4 · 6:50pm Apr 10th, 2017
BOOK 1: 1-16 || BOOK 2: 17-33 || BOOK 3: 34-49 || BOOK 4: 50-62 || BOOK 5: 63-77 || EPILOGUE
You know, I went back through the previous three reviews, just to try and catch myself up on things, and I was struck by a note saying it had taken me a month to read Fallout: Equestria. As I put it in my note to myself: how quaint. >:V I've been reading PH for two fucking years now, off and on, and I'm only about three-quarters of the way through!
So without further ado, let us dive into Somber's Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons, book 4: The Search for a Chapter Where Blackjack Is Happy and Nothing Bad Happens. :V Brought to you by VisualPony, The Secret Dreamer, Ice Gaze, ChaoticSevens, Astro-Brony, Vladimir Zharkov, Webshoter, Isenlyn the Frenchy Brony, Solar, CrystalEmpire97, and MEEEE! :D
I hate to say it, but this story has gotten so fucking huge that trying to divide the review up into cohesive sections is becoming impossible. What I mean is, I'm sorry, but buckle up for that worst of all review types: the summary. D:
When last we left our whiny stalwart hero, Blackjack, she had just gotten thrown through a wall by her marefriend, Morning Glory, currently wearing the body of Rainbow Dash because jokes that last entirely too long. Glory was upset Blackjack fucked the batpony (never fuck the batpony), Blackjack didn't get why because Stable 99, and now Glory's upset with her, as well as herself, because she doesn't know her own strength. Cue lengthy discussion of Stable 99 sexual mores, and Glory being weirded out because Scotch Tape can contribute to said discussion easily despite her age.
I waited ten months for that scene, and it was everything I wanted.
It also starts us off on one of many themes for this book: the Gloryjack ship has just gone from "schmoopy-doopy" to "complicated", to use Somber's own word. From here, they do such things as get into a BDSM thing that neither one of them understands the ramifications of (Glory's trying to use it to 'fix' Blackjack and keep her out of trouble; the safeword is Rainbow Dash!) and kind-of-sort-of-break-up-but-not-really again and again and again, all while constantly spouting how much they love each other. It's honestly not that exasperating — I am playing things up for comedy, just a little — but it was a very bizarre kind of drama, and I just wanted them to get over themselves, already.
To be fair, Glory is also upset that Blackjack ran off to fight the Harbingers. I mean, she agreed to the plan, but she also immediately started beating herself up over it, and has been for the last four days.
Yes. Four days. There is still zero downtime in this story. Except for right now! Though Blackjack does get into a little trouble, the next few chapters represent quite a lot of downtime, as Blackjack and company hang out around Chapel and try to get things looking nicer.
This leads, for instance, to a sequence where one of the buildings falls over, and a filly named Melody dies, trapped in a ditch. (Giving Blackjack a whole lot more to whine about.) The end result of this is Charity and the other Crusaders finally deigning to listen to Scotch Tape, who had been trying to design plans to fix up the town, but had been kicked out of the Crusaders after it was discovered P-21 is her dad. Crusaders are for orphans only, because children are cruel. (Though we also find out fun things like Precious is helping the Crusaders keep their loot safe, and Caprice has been deposed and is now working for Charity.)
Alongside this, we learn about things from memory orbs like fetal teleportation (as part of a spell to allow mares to become surrogate mothers), possibly the most "I don't even" idea I have ever encountered, but keep it in mind! It will likely be important later! Worse, Blackjack gets major whining fodder in the form of the Goddess, who can not only speak to her, but peer into her memories, rewrite said memories, and actually take control of her body. This is, for the record, my least favorite part of book 4, if only because the Goddess keeps her from telling anyone about it; thank god it'll be over soon.
I want to say Rampage is kind of a low spot in this book, like she's gone through most of her character arc and now she's just hanging around. She's still comedy relief, but that's undercut by just how suicidal she's become, literally asking Blackjack to kill her on multiple occasions. Blackjack's response is to hook up a Recollector and some empty memory orbs and start delving into Rampage's memories, searching for bits and pieces of the souls inside her, just maybe, a piece of something that is fundamentally Rampage herself.
This leads to the first of a number of scenes in this book that really got me. Specifically, I mean a memory wherein Blackjack, through Shujaa's eyes, witnesses the death of Twist. It takes place during a time after Big Mac's death, when Twist is leading a squadron of ponies who don't exactly believe in her to a forest to meet a detachment of zebras who are defecting from their empire. The reason for the defection is interesting: the use of cyber-zebras by the Caesar, said by the troops to lack both souls and honor. But one of the ponies who's been grumbling about "stripes" the whole time opens fire, and Twist sacrifices herself to protect the zebras. Shujaa, then, in a fit of mourning and rage, kills the gunner, and then digs her amulet out of her chest, placing it in Twist's body and saving her at the cost of her own life. (Thus explaining why Rampage looks the way she does.) Between the vicious betrayal and the self-sacrifice, that scene just bothered me on a fundamental level; it's one of the best in this whole story.
There's another a little later on, a Psalm dream, in which we find out she was a depressed orphan trying hard not to make friends, because foals didn't stick around the orphanage long. She ends up making one anyway — he's a great character, fully determined to stick by her because he knows she needs a friend — and things go south when he's invited to Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. She ends up kicking him out, more or less, and lives in the orphanage until it closes, at which point Goldenblood adopts her, but more treats her as an assistant than a daughter, and this is why she was helping him in that sequence at Littlehorn. Good to know!
Anyway, once Blackjack wakes up, she finds there's somepony new in Star House: it's Glory's mom, Dawn! And, not to spoil okay, totally spoiling one of the big reveals in this book, it turns out that she's the Prophet the Harbingers follow. I was inordinately pleased with myself for figuring this out well before I had any reason to. :D I don't know what it was; just something about the way she was described, something about how serene and, as I put it, saintly she was, the moment someone brought up the Prophet, I said, "Oh shit, Dawn's the Prophet."
This is of course sad, because it precludes a truly joyous reunion between mother and daughter. (Of course, it takes a while for Glory to even identify herself, being Rainbow Dash and all.) Dawn's a very down-to-earth kind of pony, and until she reveals herself to Blackjack, seems very reasonable, if somewhat suspicious. Given how much Glory missed her — I can't actually recall if she thought her mother was dead or not — it's quite the tragic little meeting.
There's a quick, comedic aside about Glory's terrible baking leading to inedible pancakes that are great both as cyberpony fuel and thrown weapons, and a trip to a thing somewhere where BJ scares off some slavers and fights a minotaur (his name is Pain Train, he's great). Both of these things become important later, or I wouldn't even mention them. More importantly, while she's out wandering around, getting into more trouble but being cautious about it because Glory, Blackjack finds out that Glory's sister, Dawn, who she beat half to death at Yellow River in the last book, was taken by Neighvarro to somewhere that isn't the Rainbow Dash Airbase. Oh dear. She's then able to get inside said base by basically going "You know who I am; do you really want to try and stop me?" and becomes privy to a meeting of Enclave bigwigs, who discuss everything from Lighthooves to the status of Thunderhead, to Blackjack and Littlepip as possible threats. After this, an alicorn confronts one of said bigwigs — the red-herringly named High General Harbinger — and forges an alliance between the Goddess and the Enclave. Those who've read FoE know where this is going.
(Also, it's during this scene that the Goddess straight up tells Blackjack that Littlepip is the Stable Dweller, and Blackjack refuses to believe her, because she figures — otherwise rightly — that the Goddess is going to tell her anything while trying to take control of her. Still the best running gag in the story.)
Back at Chapel, Scotch Tape finally gets her cutie mark while pooping and it isn't a toilet! A cute-ceanera is held, and Blackjack reflects on how good things have been that day. The chapter was titled "A Good Day": I didn't believe it, but it was true.
We move on to a memory orb, this one from P-21 during the time that BJ was dead (the first time). Blackjack has, for some reason, been really upset about the whole "could be descended from Twilight" thing, which is, of course, compounded by the fact that she couldn't open the door in Tenpony that was supposed to be keyed to Twilight and her possible descendents. We find out that Blackjack's lineage is indeed so, and the door was locked before the test so the Twilight Society wouldn't get their hooves on her. Clever, if demoralizing, but at least they're finally coming clean. We also find out that part of the reason Blackjack has been feeling so numb since she was augmented is that her pain receptors were artificially deadened; otherwise, she would have been in just as much constant pain as Deus.
Also important is seeing things through P-21's perspective. He, for instance, spends a good deal of time checking out Calamity's butt. <.< But it becomes obvious during this sequence that the 'thing' he has for Blackjack, previously mentioned during the interviews with Professor Zodiac, is distinctly more than just a crush or misplaced feelings. I was a little sad to think that our sole gay male character might actually be bi, though it's entirely possible he's just Blackjack-sexual. (But, given the tension between him and Glory in the middle of the book…) At least we find out he doesn't keep his screwdriver in his butt. :V
Once that's over, it's time for Dawn's big reveal! First, some more fun stories about her friends, not to mention how she met her husband. (He fought a dragon!) I actually felt bad for suspecting her of being the Prophet, but thankfully I didn't have to be guilty long before her betrayal was revealed. She and the Harbingers stand Blackjack against the wall of Blueblood Manor, with a tank ready to firing squad her. Steel Rain shows up and reveals that he's got a bomb in his chest, which is keeping him loyal to the Harbingers and their goddess.
Yes, there's another goddess in this story, a self-proclaimed goddess of technology named Cognitum. It turns out she's what's been helping Blackjack down in the tunnels and so forth, trying to protect her to get at EC-1101. Dawn is all but fanatically devoted to her, and doesn't exactly like Steel Rain, offering to kill him for all that he's put her through. More interestingly, the Harbingers seem to want to protect the Wasteland from Project Horizons; but, frustratingly for Blackjack, no more info is given before a fight breaks out!
This is one of the cooler scenes. The tank is pointed at Chapel, with orders to start shelling the town if Blackjack doesn't give them what they want; but her Pipbuck's broadcaster has been on, transmitting everything to her friends, and they and the entire town show up armed to fight for their lives. Caprice ends up sacrificing herself to save BJ, which was sad. :(
Also sad is when the Enclave show up. I forget why, but Twister and Boomer are in the fight, along with Glory's dad, Sky Striker. He confronts Dawn, and it turns out they're still into each other, which was great, except for the part where I knew it meant he was going to die. Sure enough, Dawn reveals she's been augmented even more than Blackjack has (she's got like, a green glowing manticore motif going on, I think), and she flays him with her bladed wings before taking off. Then shit gets weird.
Leading the tank into the Manor, Blackjack is trying to keep it occupied and thus out of the main fight while she figures out how to disable it. Long story short, she ends up pulling off three of her own limbs trying to pry open a hatch on the top, only to find out there's a brain in a jar controlling the thing. Said brain? Deus. Fucking Deus is still alive, is a tank, and is ready to kill Blackjack, except she's able to talk him down because of all the stuff she's learned about him over the course of this story. It was such a bizarre scene, yet perfectly heartfelt, and a reckoning I was happy to see. Like the mare says, Doof deserved better. He takes off (through the wall), and her friends come and pick her back up.
Blackjack is taken with the rest of the wounded to Fluttershy Medical Center, where she sits on a bench (because she's only got one leg left) and watches stuff happen. And talks to the Dealer. He reveals himself to be a pony named Echo. If you're going, "Who the fuck is Echo?" don't worry, you're not alone! It turns out he was the Marauders' radio guy, always in the background. I actually went and looked for previous scenes with him; I don't think he's named until this chapter, and I suspect that was meant to show how unimportant he was to those around him. Also, the Dealer was his fucking Deadlands character. I couldn't even. It's like, fuck, Echo, how much of a loser nerd do you have to be? Well, this somewhat unimpressive reveal leads to something of a stronger bond between the two, and later on, we get to find out how he became the Dealer, which was pretty neat.
Next up, Rover and Dr. Triage taking the piss out of Blackjack while prepping her for better legs. They upgrade her with Sky Striker's Enclave power armor, and it is at this point that I find out her previous legs were white, like the ones they replaced. I had no idea! Then again, I've been staring at a picture of her as she appears (finally) in this chapter for the entire fucking audiobook, so I'm just saying, it's not my fault. But yes, more metal for her, more angst about being less of a pony, and a promise to each of them to go clean out a thing.
Also, a memory orb, in which we see, among other things, Horse walking around in public with a Sweetie Bot like the punchable creep he was (I really hope he's still alive so Blackjack can beat the shit out of him! Even Sweetie wanted him to get tetanus.) and the Thing in the Core. At least, I think it is. I have to admit, I was a little lost during this segment, but the gist is there's some kind of ancient magical machine called the Tokomare beneath Hoofington, and Goldenblood and Horse had an international team of scientists working to harness its extremely destructive power as a form of endless energy. I made a note that it's posited Equestrians were used to problems that were easily solved (i.e., by throwing friendship at them), and that led them down the road to ruin when they were faced with more complex issues.
Back at Chapel again, Deus-tank shows up and, despite being unable to talk, communicates that he wants to join the party. My credulity at this point was nil. But P-21 fixes it so that the bomb the Harbingers had wired to his brain was gone, replaced with one they could control. Because there's only so far you can trust a giant tank. :B It's time for adventure, riding around on said tank! But first, another dream, and one of my all-time favorite scenes in the story. I'll just quote my summation from my notes:
BJ dreaming about being Psalm, tootling around the Wasteland mere weeks after the bombs fell; she finds Garnet, dying of radiation sickness, outside Project Redoubt, which was some kind of Stable-ish thing for Goldenblood and his cronies (likely what he was stealing parts for); Garnet orders, threatens, cajoles and begs her, first for Rad-Away, then for death, and Psalm does none of it, tasked with confirming all kills for Project Party Pooper, and she just leaves her there :D damn
Good stuff! Not so good is more Goddess nonsense: we get to see her (I compared the image to Dante's version of Satan), she finds out a bunch of compromising stuff from Blackjack's brain, and then she rips the memory of the encounter out of said brain, which was kind of horrifying. Again, fans of the original know where this is going.
Next is a very weird and kind of completely unnecessary thing: everyone's going into heat. Normally, I make a huge stink about the use thereof, but this time, it didn't bother me so much. Maybe it's because Glory and Blackjack (and even Rampage) discuss it in fairly matter-of-fact ways, explaining things to Scotch. Maybe I'm just tired of complaining about it; it overrides Glory's sexuality, after all, and that's kind of shitty. But seriously, look at these characters; they don't need an excuse to mindlessly fuck.
Anyway, the scene is far better: a Psalm dream about the day of Big Macintosh's death. Okay, well, it was good up until said death occurred. We get the tension of the two sides trying to set up this diplomatic meeting, neither of them really trusting the other. We get the Marauders as hidden security, just in case things go wrong. Psalm gets to reunite with her childhood friend, only to watch him die by the end of the day. Sadly, as much as the diplomats wanted to believe the zebras really wanted peace, the military was right not to trust them; no surprise, but tragic nevertheless.
Then Psalm kills Big Macintosh.
I was kind of upset by this.
I literally said "now I know why people hate this story". In some ways, it's no worse a betrayal than what happened to Twist, but on a meta level, it's very much revisionist, and knowing this new truth kind of… I don't know if it cheapens everything, but knowing this aspect of Equestrian history is based on lies (well, hidden truths) is kind of painful. Anyway, I forget why she did it, I didn't write that down. :/
Back in the real world, some bandits decide confronting both Security and a zebra tank is a good idea, and Blackjack ends up with new complexes after one of the bandits turns out to be one of the stallions who raped her. (He doesn't live.) They're going to Grimhoof military base, which Rover asked them to clean out, and they find out that the Enclave is using helmets to mind-control Hellhounds, which is bad for the Wasteland, and bad for them once BJ and co. blow up the main control unit. (There's a very satisfying turnaround on one of the pegasi who betrays the group.)
What's actually important in this sequence is that afterward, a shitton of zebras show up, led by Lancer and the Legate. The Legate, who is, I think, the leader of the Remnant, is pretty fucking awesome. He cuts an impressive figure, he's willing to parlay with Blackjack despite Lancer egging them on to fight, he doesn't take any of Lancer's crap, and, oh yeah, he's Lancer's dad. A prophecy says the Legate is meant to fight and defeat the Maiden of the Stars, which they're all convinced Blackjack is, but he's upset because Lancer is forcing the fight before it was supposed to happen. Anyway, they throw down, and the reader is treated to some excellent martial arts before Blackjack mares the fuck up and beats the shit out of him. (He threatened her friends; never a good idea.) The zebras fuck off and Blackjack realizes she has a mission path with three branches ahead of her: fight the Legate again, stop Lighthooves, or take down the Harbingers. She goes for option number two, if only because EC-1101 is pointing her in that direction. To Shadowbolt Tower!
Oh wait, first we need about the dumbest side quest in this entire story: ladies and gentlemen, I present you the Society arc.
I won't say this was bad, but it did feel supremely pointless. I mean, I'd been waiting for the Society to show up forever so I could finally see King Awesome, but a lot of what goes on feels like "oh yeah, I need to fit King Awesome in here somehow", like going down and checking off a list. It's not the worst arc in this story (that's coming), but it definitely felt forced, given how much it takes.
Blackjack is going to the Society — who, if you need a refresher, are hoity-toity ponies who live in a pretend monarchy and claim to be descended from old Equestrian royalty — because she knows they have an airship she could borrow to get up to the Tower. That's fine. They meet Princess Grace, Prince Splendid's twin sister, and their younger sister Princess Charm. Both cut striking figures from the get-go, more evidence of Somber's ability to create instantly likeable characters. (Though Charm turns out to be a spoiled little shit; Scotch Tape steals all her Best Filly points by beating the crap out of her later on.) They go in and find out tensions in the Society are high, which isn't helped by P-21 rather loudly declaiming their use of 'serfs' who are basically no better off than slaves. But Blackjack gets an audience with King Awesome, and all my dreams come true.
If you've been keeping up with these reviews, you know that I've wanted to see King Awesome for a long time. He had a lot of expectations to live up to, and oh boy, did he ever. Granted, as I describe him, he's every old man stereotype ever: thin hair, withered body, wheelchair, liver spots, you name it. But he turns out to be just as much a 'fan' of the OIA and Equestrian history as Blackjack, and they quite honestly spend a few hours geeking out over everything they've learned. By the end of their first meeting, she's thinking of him as the grandpa she never had, and I'm like "Awh. ;_; He's gonna die." I was not wrong. Point is, he was great, and despite the odd lack of stories about his friends, that meeting was everything I had wanted from him.
Then things get stupid. First, there's talk of a Grand Galloping Gala, and of course there's gonna be a GGG, why wouldn't there be. Then, she goes and tries to clean out the plantation Triage asked her to; it's full of robots and enervation. As it turns out, there's even too much enervation for Blackjack to deal with, and she actually fails at the side quest; I was surprised. The Goddess removes knowledge about enervation from her mind for some reason, so she doesn't recognize the purpose of the literal hundreds of rings she finds, and then Dawn shows up and they have it out again.
Once she gets back, she finds out P-21 is in hot water for stomping an overseer who was trying to rape a serf, but before anything can be done about it, the news arrives: King Awesome has died! Blackjack was likely the last pony to talk to him. And what's this? Why, the bearer of said news is Hoity Toity as a ghoul! Holy shit, I can't ev— Wait, what?
"Long live Queen Blackjack."
Yeah, I told you things were gonna get stupid. :| Not only is this the first of two scenes where far too many big reveals happen all in a row, but it sets up BJ for a lot of moping and angsting, because she's not expected to take over the Society, merely to choose a Regent to rule in her stead. Awesome was trying to, in Hoity's words, save the Society from itself. You've got Splendid, who wants the Society to clean up the Wasteland, at the expense of the serfs' well-being; Grace, who is far more humanitarian and could be a decent leader if she ever mared up; and Charm, who's a conniving little shit and a spoiled brat. I mean, she kidnaps Boo and Scotch and tries to pretend like she's helping them to try and get Blackjack on her side. BJ, in a rare show of insight, doesn't believe a word of it, and then Charm gets the crap kicked out of her, which I am mentioning twice because it was very satisfying. :3
In the midst of this, we get another dream sequence (it may have been induced by Lacunae, I forget), in which we see Psalm, still wandering the newly-created Wasteland, dying of radiation sickness, coming across Maripony as Trixie, et. al. are being turned into the Goddess. This is when we finally get the confirmation no one really needed by this point that Lacunae was created out of Psalm's body (the closest an alicorn can get to actually having been someone, really). Also, Lacunae had been doing to Blackjack what the Goddess did to her, i.e., dumping the worst parts of herself into her brain. This is why Blackjack is connected to Unity and why she keeps dreaming about Psalm. Oh, and why she's so self-destructive! It's built up as this big betrayal, but not much is made of it, though their reckoning is a good scene and it serves to hammer home just what Lacunae is: friend, mishmash of emotions, unfortunate. She wants Blackjack to kill her, which would sever the connection to Unity, but BJ refuses, because "we don't kill our friends".
A scene worth mentioning: Awesome gets a Wasteland-style viking funeral, which is completely amazing. Afterward, an assassin tries to gut Blackjack — a ploy by Splendid to garner favor after he 'saves' her — and utterly fails because she doesn't have much in the way of guts. Then she eats his knife. XD You just had to feel for this poor bastard; he didn't even care about killing her, and she just totally shut him down.
Also, Blackjack finds out she's distantly related to Grace and Splendid (through Shining Armor), and she starts treating Grace like a cousin, which was adorable. (Also, this means Blackjack and Littlepip are about as equally related, through Big Macintosh, but no one ever talks about BJ being Big Mac's descendent, because Twilight is more important. :|)
Oh yeah, and then Lancer shows up somehow. I totally missed how he did it. We find out Sekashi's his mother (one of the Legate's eleven wives), some stuff about zebra tribes (it was honestly all fucking fascinating), why he was trying to kill his mom, and then Blackjack tries really hard not to fuck him. I'm not even kidding. Also, Glory fucks Splendid; heat, remember? At the end of that chapter, I accused the story of finally feeling its length, with this arc being that chapter too long.
Next up, Grand Galloping Gala! And, as dumb as it is, I want everyone to take a moment and appreciate this image of Rampage in her Gala outfit. I mean, the whole thing was kind of silly, from the preponderance of original mane six Gala dresses Lacunae is somehow able to procure (she wears one meant for Luna) to the She's All That "gosh, I clean up good!" scenes with Blackjack and Rampage, but damned if seeing ponies in dresses isn't great, and Rampage is no exception.
Anyway, the point of the Gala is for Blackjack to make her announcement, which takes as long as humanly fucking possible. She mingles with a bunch of characters who've appeared previously in the story, which isn't as pointless as it sounds, because it serves the purpose of catching us up with what's been going on elsewhere, from MegaMart to Meatlocker. (Paradise was cleaned out by Silver Spoon's group! I was so happy. :D) Also, Paladin Stronghoof shows up, and you'd better believe I squealed a little when he asked Lacunae to dance. :V It was great.
Also, in perhaps one of the most understated reveals ever, it turns out there were 13 ponies from Stable 99 who survived in the maintenance tunnels thanks to Rivets. The Steel Rangers are trying to help them get the Stable up and running again, but you can't run a Stable with 13 ponies and a few dozen Rangers.
At last, to no one's surprise, Blackjack picks Grace to be regent, makes Splendid swear an oath of loyalty to her, which Charm refuses, so she gets dragged off for a time-out by Rampage. Splendid is at least a decent pony, at the end of the day.
Then, it's time to party, get drunk, and wake up with Glory and P-21 the next morning. And if you think I'm being a little flippant about that, it's because we're given zero time to comprehend the ramifications before we dive into the conclusion of the absolute worst arc of Project Horizons to date.
The problems with the Goddess arc are many. First, it's one more thing for Blackjack to whine about; she doesn't need more of those. Second, it's frustrating, because she can't tell anyone about it, no matter what she does. Third, it's just a giant ball of narrative convenience, mostly with an aim toward keeping PH in line chronologically with FoE and making sure the reader is constantly aware of this fact. It means the last few chapters have been a nonstop run of "Littlepip is coming with the Black Book!" Like, yes, okay, I didn't need to be told that more than once, thank you. Fourth…
Chapter 58.
So BJ and Lacunae set off toward Maripony to kill Littlepip. Along the way, they stop at Miramare so BJ can grab Psalm's old gear: her operative armor and Penance, her bigass sniper rifle. That lets her see through walls; trust me, this is important. She finally figures out that Littlepip is the Stable Dweller, putting the kibosh on said best running joke. We get an interesting memory of Twilight's, which Blackjack more or less literally relives; I noted it was far more detailed and personal than a memory orb, because she was able to know what Twilight was thinking at the time.
And then we wait. This is the real problem with this chapter: it's just watching the events of Maripony through Blackjack's eyes. She literally trains Penance on Littlepip and does nothing, letting the whole scene play out with LP, Harbinger and the Goddess, up until the balefire egg goes off. It's dull. If you've already read FoE, you know what happens. Blackjack is completely powerless, yet does nothing. It's an awful chore, and the best part of it is that it's over.
Well, okay, no, this chapter actually has one of the better fight scenes in the story despite all that. Before BJ sets up with the rifle, the Goddess takes away her emotions and sets her on Lacunae, who's making this incredible one-mare stand against her fellow alicorns, trying to save Blackjack. It's honestly Lacunae's finest moment, and it doesn't hurt that she turns out to be a total fucking badass. I mean, I can't describe how goddamn awesome it is watching her take out an alicorn by hitting it in the face with her minigun. It gives me shivers!
But that's not even the best part! The best part is, this is all still being narrated by Blackjack, and she's become this cold, unfeeling shell. She doesn't understand why Lacunae is doing what she's doing; she doesn't understand why she isn't being targeted by all these attacks from the "aberrant". It's a completely new narrative style, and it's so fucking cool, from a writerly perspective, to watch in action. Lacunae finally puts an end to it by shouting, "She's no good to you like this!" and Blackjack gets her personality back.
But, yeah, this is all marred by the otherwise passive Blackjack. I mean, one major point of this entire sequence is that Littlepip couldn't have won against the Goddess if the Goddess hadn't filled Lacunae to capacity with negative emotions, leaving her a roiling mass of regret and angst. Or, y'know, she could have just own because she was the hero of her own story. Outside revisionism wasn't warranted. :/ Plus, this is also done to give the Goddess, yes, a sympathetic death, go freaking figure. Despite the timer on the bomb, said death stretches on forever.
And then Blackjack totally Indiana Joneses the bomb. <.< She hides behind some rocks, Lacunae shields her with her body from the worst of the radiation, and then she passes out from a balefire bomb. I just want to emphasize the ridiculousness of this situation. Not that I'm mad; it is a comic book, after all.
There's one more good thing, but it's not good in every aspect. Lacunae, for whatever reason, ends up with Twilight's soul in her, to the point of having her cutie mark. Now, I recall something about there being a Twilight-colored alicorn sighted after the destruction of Maripony; I don't remember her being fuckhuge, but what do I know? Anyway, it's more bizarre explaining of things that happen in Fallout: Equestria; not great.
The good part is, Lacunae dies. I mean… It's not good at all, it's not a good prize, but it's a poignant ending to an otherwise excruciating chapter. The "dissolves into motes of light" death is always more heart-wrenching than one that involves getting shot. Lacunae releases her essence back into the alicorns, so they can be themselves again and maybe survive in the Wasteland without Unity, and then she's gone. :( It was an unexpected turn of events, though maybe not so much, in light of her last stand earlier in the chapter.
Anyway, Blackjack gets away and is picked up by her friends aboard the Fleur, the Society airship that had started her off on this whole cockamamie quest in the first place. With them is Lancer, of all people, who tipped them off to where she might have gone. (The Goddess was kind of in control of her body when he burst in on her in the Society.) And actually, that stuff I said about zebra tribes and history may actually have happened here; he spends a lot of time telling them about his people, because they're all pretty interested in zebras, having a chance to talk with one without him, y'know, trying to kill them.
Lemme just say, if this excellent world-building is meant as setup, I am really looking forward to Homelands, because I know it takes place in zebra lands.
Anyway, news of Lacunae's death is not taken well (Rampage in particular is jealous), but she gets a good send-off from her friends. P-21 kicks Lancer's ass, which was an unexpected and pleasant reckoning. They end up letting him go eventually, and even tell him that Sekashi is alive, trusting him with the information. Then they end up flying into a nest of Enclave Raptors and Blackjack gets to meet with General Storm Chaser, the one sane mare in a sea of assholes and ingrates. She was great. She kind of tentatively teams up with BJ against Lighthooves, lets them go, and then it's off to…
Thunderhead! What, you didn't expect them to get to Shdowbolt Tower in anything like good time, did you?
But one important aspect of that meeting is a discussion of Lighthooves's potential motivation. He's from Thunderhead, so they think it might be a ploy to try and get Thunderhead into Neighvarro's seat of power over the Enclave. It's all politics, is the point, and very complicated, and really neat because I love Enclave politics.
But yes, they don't just go to Thunderhead, they go to Glory's house, where they meet her oldest sister, Moonshadow, who is kind of a bitch but at least does the right thing by helping them. (Oh yeah, and Dusk is there too, somehow.) That night, Blackjack sees a figure standing over Glory; turns out it's the Mysterious Mare-Do-Well, clad in stealth armor! :D I was kind of excited by this, since the other pegasi talk about how there've been MDW sightings all over Equestria for the last 200 years, but wait, it gets better. :3
But they get to do some sightseeing, disguised as unicorns, because apparently unicorns are a regularish sight in a city made out of a cloud donut. It was a good scene, honestly, because the Wastelanders are experiencing real civilization for the first time and were totally unprepared for it. They formulate a plan to use one of Glory's old professors to get a meeting with the city's councillor, to try and negotiate some kind of deal to help stop Lighthooves. Roundabout, but admirable. Things of course go horrendously fucking wrong after Blackjack is spotted (she was hiding under Lancer's invisibility cloak, which he left them, using her magic to help the 'unicorns' look more realistic), but first!
First, I have to tell you about Wastelanders. :D
It's just a dumb distraction, all told, but they literally, while sitting in a cafe, see an advertisement for an upcoming TV show — because remember, the Enclave still has all the stuff a technologically advanced Equestria did 200 years ago — that is literally based off of Littlepip and Blackjack's adventures. To the point where they have actors who look like them. P-21 is depicted with a machine gun and a bandanna is what I'm trying to say. XD I couldn't even, and I even more can't that it becomes a somewhat important plot point.
Because Blackjack, once discovered, leads the Thunderhead security forces on a merry chase, and is saved by none other than the director of said TV show, who presents her as an actress and the whole ordeal as a PR stunt. In a grand stroke of narrative convenience, said director happens to be Lighthooves's younger brother, and we learn things like his real name being Legerdemaine. (The director's name is Chicanery.) Turns out he has a thing called a "Perceptitron" that lets him see through Pipbucks; this is how he knows what LP and BJ have been up to, which leads to some awkwardness, because think about what they've been up to. <.< She uses it to check up on Glory, who's in the middle of trying to convince her batty Professor to help them, and then Lighthooves shows up because reasons and beats the shit out of Blackjack.
This leads to a great scene, in which Blackjack, having cancelled her walk-on-clouds spell to fall through the floor and escape, is falling to her death. She's saved by about four pegasi, who take the "actress" story at face value. But more importantly, she's overjoyed that anyone would even do that. As the lead pegasus says, "it's what ponies do," but you realize at that moment, in Blackjack's world, it's not. If she had been falling through the Wasteland, no one would have lifted a hoof to save her. Another really good storytelling moment!
Also, this is like the third time during this book Blackjack loses all her weapons. Just saying.
Anyway, she meets up with Glory at the university, meets the Professor — who is, again, a hoot — and finally convinces him to help them. Also, to give Glory the cure for Poison Joke. Fucking finally. So they're gonna get to meet this councillor tomorrow, bright and early, and then everything will be okay!
Which is why, that night, Dawn breaks into her own house, murders said councillor (I'm not sure it's ever explained why she was there), and leaves, making it look like Blackjack is guilty. That's when I started hating this chapter. D: I mean, there's nothing more frustrating than the system turning against the hero. But BJ and all her friends are locked up in pegasus jail, and she finds a memory orb that, oh yeah, I also hated, because it details Pinkie Pie, recovering from an overdose, tasking Rainbow Dash with getting the memories for all the orbs Littlepip finds in FoE. It was an egregious load of fourth-wall breaking, Pinkie supposedly having overdosed because her Pinkie Sense is inundating her with visions of the Equestrian Wasteland. Then she does the thing she did in FoE, where she knows who's looking at the orb; the first time was amazing, the second time feels trite, but I guess if LP gets one of those, it's only fair BJ does, too. :| But she even references Pink Eyes, Murky Number Seven and another FoE I didn't recognize. Come on!
And when she wakes up? Everyone's dead! :V She was literally talking to Chicanery in the cell next to hers — as an aside: it turns out BJ was in the high security wing of the prison, which is reasonable, so what in the tremendous fuck where Chicanery and Boo doing there with her? — went into the orb, and came out of it to find that the bars are off (they were energy beams) and all personnel stationed in her cell block are dead. She's busted out by Rampage, they go pick up P-21 and Scotch Tape, and it's off to follow the convenient trail of blood!
I should mention that Blackjack knew where they were because she found the prison's security monitors, and she listens in on a conversation of theirs that just so happens to cut out right before she hears P-21 answer Scotch's question of "do you love Blackjack?" Narrative inconvenience. :| The lack of an answer bugs her for rather a long time, leading to lots of awkward blushing that I really didn't need. But I wanted to mention this because that little scenelet ends with her doing a joke from Star Wars that counts as the rare actual funny reference. I had to think about why; there had just been a bunch of infuriating Dr. Who references in the Pinkie scene, after all. I chalk the disparity up to "it was funny originally and seeing it used as a joke is still funny", versus characters saying "timey-wimey" a whole bunch, which isn't a joke and rarely fits the story it's in.
Anyway, they follow the blood to the office of Stratus, the head of Thunderhead's security, and, oh dear! He's dead too! With Blackjack's sword stuck in his back. :| Things can't get any better, can they. She reads a bunch of correspondence that suggests he was trying to use the councillor's death to leverage his own attempt at power, but it backfired on him somehow. And, frustratingly (i keep using that word), neither the question of "Who killed him?" nor the Enclave finding out who actually killed the councillor are resolved for rather a long time. (Lighthooves killed Stratus. I think.) Anyway, a detachment of Enclave soldiers show up, try to kill Blackjack, but get blocked by something jamming their armor. Blackjack uses Twilight's spell to summon a door slam their leader's head in said door, in what is perhaps the most creative grimdark application of magic seen in the show.
Turns out, Mare-Do-Well was the one doing the jamming. She takes Blackjack and friends to her secret lair in the Tower, and oh god, this is the best part. First, Lighthooves contacts her and is all "grandma", and everyone's like hold the freaking phone. It turns out MDW has been trying to foment revolution in the Enclave for a while now, hooked up with her (as it turns out, adoptive) grandson to do just that, and now he's kind of taking things much further than anyone would have thought he would, go figure. Anyway, she decides to help Blackjack now, first with saving Glory from the Enclave, and then she takes her helmet off.
You cannot imagine my sheer glee at this reveal. The whole time, I'd been chanting, "Please don't be Moonshadow, please don't be Moonshadow." I had no way to prepare myself for literally my favorite moment in Project Horizons, when the Mysterious Mare-Do-Well is revealed to be none other than Rainbow freaking Dash.
:D
Do you understand? Do you grasp the sheer ludicrousness? I mean, it's perfectly reasonable to have ghoulified her and had her wage one-mare war on the Enclave over the past 200 years. She's the one member of the mane six whose ultimate fate is never revealed in Fallout: Equestria, after all. But just the audacity, the complete balls it took to make this happen; I was in awe. I still am. The Enclave arc is by far one of the better arcs in PH, and Rainbow Dash is far and away the best part of it.
Anyway, BJ goes out to — where else? — Rainbow Dash Memorial Park, where another of the captains is giving a big propaganda-laden speech about how they're going to execute traitors or whatever, and the crowd is not having it. Blackjack's all "I'm Security, fuck off!" and challenges her openly, which the crowd loves. Afterburner is all, "Stay back or I kill Rainbow Dash!" and then Glory's hood comes off to reveal she's not Rainbow Dash no more and you fuck up. XD It's narrative convenience, having the cure take that long, but it was a hilarious and satisfying reveal, so I chalk it up as a good thing.
So they fight off whatever soldiers are there, and a civil war sparks, because that crowd was one Blackjack away from a full-blown riot anyway. The team separates, with Blackjack, Rampage and Boo going off to find Storm Chaser, who, I was sad to see, wasn't willing to maintain their alliance. I mean, she does anyway, but there's a lot of nail-biting "You're actually the terrorist they accuse you of being" first. I actually really appreciated that Blackjack's reaction was just to sit down and scream; I felt that.
Rampage adds a little comedy — as an aside, Rampage is kind of dead weight in this book, frequently just around for comic relief shot through with bouts of existential angst and tantrums — then it turns into good military drama when the Raptor they're on is attacked by Ligthhooves, who, oh yeah, has a shitton of augmented pegasi serving him. They kill a bunch of fuckers, Blackjack kills a bunch of them, they almost lose the General. Thankfully, Rampage shows up and her Doctor persona comes out to help triage the General and save her life. Then, despite the urgency of the situation, they stand around and have a long talk about how Doctor Octopus is a good bit more coherent than last time they talked, and Blackjack walking through Rampage's memories is actually doing all of them a lot of good. It was interesting stuff, but poorly placed, and yet another reason why Rampage slipped from my favor somewhat in book 4.
So the Raptor takes off after the Tower, and we get our first look at the Core, from way above. But not outside weapons range! Blackjack contacts Cognitum and calls her bluff, getting backdoor access to the Core's power grid and shutting down the weapons so they can actually attack. And just when they're about to go after Lighthooves, Neighvarro calls with new orders: Storm Chaser is relieved of command, time to start shelling Thunderhead.
Like, do you have any idea how fucking shitty that is? Another instance of the system turning against the heroes, in about the worst way possible. Thankfully, after some back-and-forth and lots of drama, Storm Chaser resigns in protest, Captain Hoarfrost (the one who got her head slammed in the door) turns on her, and her crews backs her up because she's a good General, for fuck's sake.
Then begins a very annoying thread through the end of this book. BJ is afraid Lighthooves is watching her, because he got the Perceptitron from his brother (see? I told you Wastelanders was an important plot point!), so she starts writing her plans on paper, showing them to people, and shouting "Don't say it!" This is annoying as fuck because it's not like he can read her thoughts; she could tell the reader what it is! Instead, we're teased with this constantly and given no clues as to what she's actually doing until the final reveal at the end. (FoE did it better.)
Thankfully, the next thing Blackjack does is fall to her death again. She and Boo land on a cloud far below, fly over the Core because they're both helpfully immune to enervation, and BJ cuts her way into the Tower. She meets Chicanery again, finds out there's a Stable at the bottom of the tower (it's where all the unicorns come from, and also where Chicanery and Lighthooves grew up), and, oh yeah, Chicanery's mom is the Overmare. She organizes an evacuation because you just know she's gonna blow the Tower up, and also because Lighthooves is using the Stable's reactor to make up for her shutting off the main power grid and launching missiles manually.
I forgot to mention this earlier, but he launches one of his bioweapon-laden missiles at the Raptors at one point. It takes all ten of them to blow it up, and it almost makes it past their line, which is rather far out from the Tower then. Keep that in mind for later.
Blackjack, Boo and Chicanery make their way up the Tower, taking out cyberponies all the way. They find the machine Lighthooves has been using to upgrade his followers, along with the pile of bloody pony parts, because it's not like they're giving prosthetics to ponies who've lost limbs, here. I was pleased by her disgust. After a little hemming and hawing, she jumps in, because the only way to get to Lighthooves is through the roof…
And she needs wings. :|
I knew it was coming, I'd seen a bunch of fanart, but still. It's a roundabout way to get an alicorn OC, but there you go, Blackjack is upgraded with the Alicorn program from Project Steelpony, thanks to Dealer, and then she goes crazy once she sees herself in the mirror.
This is a low point in the book for many a reason. For starters, alicorn! For seconds, while it was cool that she's toughing out the major reconstructive surgery being done to her back, because she doesn't have time to wait for anesthetic to wear off, but this also means that she gets to watch the machine tear her fucking face off. D: I mean, this comic hasn't been too terribly grimdark in a while, but that was a severe fucking blow to the jibblies! Needlessly gruesome, and of course her face is replaced with a metal plate, so now she can't blink and the only parts of her left flesh are her mouth, her mane, and her mare bits. At least she gets that much, but shit.
Unsurprisingly, she does the "Mirror!" and crazed laughter and trying to kill everyone thing that often happens in these situations.
I'm going to pause for a minute to talk about Boo. I haven't mentioned her too much in this review so far, but she's worth talking about here. After Psalm is removed from Blackjack's mind with Lacunae's death, BJ starts having new dreams where she's living in Equestria as a Royal Guard, with Boo as her perfectly articulate little sister. She has two or three of these dreams, each with another of her friends present in a new role, including her mom. Alongside this, Boo seems to be slowly growing more sapient: she can open snack cake packages, she gets better at understanding speech, she pats Blackjack on the shoulder in a comforting way at one point. Rampage calls her a "good luck charm", shedding light on the idea that she has some kind of danger sense. It seems like something is being built toward, but I couldn't for the life of me determine what. All I knew was, if she started talking, I wouldn't be too surprised.
Well, she does. And in speaking, Boo stops Blackjack's little rampage before she kills someone. Her first word? "Bwackjack." Kind of adorable; also kind of annoying, because it's the only think she says for the rest of the book, but still funny in a way.
That said, this is also the second scene where too many big things happen all at once. It's "Blackjack's an alicorn", "Blackjack's pregnant", "Boo can talk", with no time whatsoever to parse any of it. Oh yeah, snuck that second one in there, didn't I? You're welcome, it blindsided me just as much. Yes, the technicians notice a "foreign magical contaminant" in her system, and it turns out that Blackjack's one-night stand with P-21 has resulted in a Babbyjack! It's still just a bundle of cells at this point, but she is pregnant because her augmented systems likely ate the implant that was keeping her sterile. She decides to keep it, even though they warn that her augmented systems may prevent her from giving birth. This is where you should remember that note waaay up there about fetal teleportation! Nothing has come of it by the end of the book, but I fully expect her to use the surrogacy spell and implant the fetus in Glory, most likely.
After an abortive (no pun) first attempt at flight, Blackjack cruises her way up to the roof — which, I need to emphasize, the Tower stretches from Equestria up into the clouds, it is huge — and finds out that flight drains her power like no one's business, so she blacks out after making it in. Once she wakes up (from that dream about Echo becoming the Dealer), she's being rescued by Mare-Do-Well, and then they head for the Fabrication Level and the final confrontation.
I don't think a whole lot needs to be said here. The battle with Lighthooves is pretty darn good, between Blackjack turning his minions against him, Rainbow Dash taking him on one-on-one, and then going out and blowing up the missiles one by one as they're launched. (If Rainbow Dash had been presented as anything less than a complete and total badass in this story, I would have died. I mean, she's got power armor and two centuries of being Rainbow Dash on her side!) But mostly, I want to talk about Lighthooves's death: he burns his face off with missile exhaust, then Blackjack spears him through the chest with her horn.
Now, think about it. Operative Lighthooves isn't just the final boss of book 4: he's had over 60 chapters of being both a direct and a background threat. There's a lot hanging on his presence, and a battle with him needs to be climactic. Yet, at the end, his death is very personal and quiet. It's strange at first, but actually, it fits.
Because though he has been this sinister background threat for so long, the closer Blackjack gets to him, the more personal his fight becomes. He's fighting for his homeland; he's setting himself up to be the bad guy and take the fall because he believes it's the only way to shake up an Enclave that's dying under its own stagnation. He's obsessed with his lineage, back to the mad doctor who was experimenting on zebras in Yellow River. At the end of the day, his fight comes down to one thing: himself. Blackjack even gets him laughing at one point with a snowball fight (because of course pegasus fire suppression systems are going to involve lots of snow). And so it's fitting that his death isn't spectacular in any way. It's one of the great narrative triumphs of Project Horizons.
That doesn't quite end the story, though. It turns out that little piece of paper Blackjack's been hiding says "I have a megaspell" (when the fuck did she get that? @_@) The thing she's been looking for is a target talisman. She leaves that in his hooves, checks in with Thunderhead (Sky Striker actually lived; the professor has been turned into a mare for some last-minute, completely unnecessary chuckles), and then detonates her megaspell.
Implosion.
The end result sucks up a whole lot of ponies, a couple of Raptors, parts of Thunderhead and almost her, turning Shadowbolt Tower into Shadowbolt Large Ball of Metal. It's a fantastic demonstration of why megaspells are nothing to fuck with. The book ends with a new destination for EC-1101 — RoBronco HQ in the Core — and Blackjack and Boo lying on a skyscraper in the Core, a Raptor falling toward them, and BJ wondering if it counts as a boat.
Goddamn.
As a reward for reading all 18 pages of this, have some note excerpts. Only the funniest stuff, of course!
"How many times did you have sex with my mom?" oh my god Scotch
"You were screaming and puking and pooping yourself, Daddy" oh my god what
Blackjack is wearing a collar now c.c oh god, she's so subby
"almost the exact same thing I did with my husband" oh my god Glorymom
I like that she meant marriage, and that Blackjack thought the same thing I did
"then came the sound of passing gas and a tinkle" goddammit XD
Rampage is best mom :V I guess that would make her spiky punchmom
yes, Scotch Tape is lucky to have so many moms: metal shootmom, spiky punchmom, alicorn crymom and Rainbow Dash V: Boo is the family dog
hang on, hang on, "a magic straw that could see through walls" is an excruciatingly goofy image for this tense, otherwise serious scene
"And that Littlepip: she can fix my toaster any day!" oh my god
"Just because it's impossible doesn't mean I can't do it" respect
MAYBE THIS WASN'T SUCH A GOOD IDEA @_@ YEAH, MAYBE, BLACKJACK
Book 4 of Project Horizons is a serious rollercoaster. Things aren't exactly darker than before, but they are definitely more intense. The stakes are greater, the losses are worse, the comedy is cringier than ever. (I kid.) I'm starting to see inklings of the things people are expecting me to hate, no lie there, but at this point, there's no going back. (This is ominous...)
Book Score: 3.5/5
Overall Score: 3.2/5
A tense amalgamation of the best and worst of Project Horizons.
Tune in, hopefully later this year, for a plunge into Hoofington's Core and all the horrors therein, as we try to ferret out Cognitum, the Harbingers, Dawn and Steel Rain. And maybe the Legate. And possibly the Tokomare. And maybe something else that hasn't even been introduced yet for fuck's sake
I'm honestly sorry for making you read all that. D:
4491267
Lol its fine I can't even read this story its just far to long. Then gets way to odd for me to go on with it.
4491267 I gave up on the story. Lost interest.
I thought Hightower was already over. :P
*anime
I love this review series you're doing, and I am so excited to see what you think of Book 5. Particularly Rampage in Book 5.
4491449
Rampage has nowhere to go but up, as far as I'm concerned. :/ She's been a favorite of mine for a while, but I think a lot of her potential in this book was shunted aside for other stuff.
Honestly, I love being able to get the Reader's Digest version, because there's no way in hell I'm going to read the actual thing.
Coming from you, I'd expect "batty" to be one of the most scathing of insults. :p /never fuck the batpony
Not disagreeing with the merits, but causation was overdose -> visions of Wasteland.
Also, I know of a scene in book 5 you're probably going to hate. (Note, this thought came up a few other times too...)
Remember the dream of Psalm being pulled into Unity and all that? One of the things she tried to do was target Maripony with a megaspell, contacting the Hoofington megaspell complex but not able to call one in, sounded like because of some block related to EC-1101. I think. Okay, now remember (this one's the much bigger ask...) waaaay back when they were in the tunnel under Hoofington and Scotch got her machine-phobia and Glory's wing fell off? One of the things they saw was the Hoofington megaspell complex, with a bunch of ghoul unicorns still milling around there doing stuff, with at least one megaspell that hadn't been launched and was fully charged up.
Yeah, two books ago... :|
Relatedly, I don't remember who killed the councilor at this point either, or why...
Soon you'll find that you've written a book reviewing a series of books. A very apt review!
There's no MAYBE about it. I say nothing more but yeah, just accept your punishment.
4491525
Hah, wow, I do not remember that at all. D: Not surprised.
4491696
Like I said, the second part was a big ask. Even the first, which happened in this book, had the part that was relevant not exactly highlighted in a way to indicate it would matter later, as opposed to just adding "and Psalm tried to blow up the Goddess" to the scene. There were some other callbacks to it, but that could have been the only part that indicated Blackjack might have a way to use it.
But yeah, there may be downsides to putting plot details in events surrounded by much more immediately important things, and whose importance won't be revealed until long, long after. :| Kind of a trade-off between the upside of allowing something along the lines of the "Dawn=Prophet!" experience on the one side of things and "well I guess that happened" on the other (and perhaps "Oh, now I get it!" in between).
Like 4491493, my plan to vicariously experience this story through these reviews is working quite nicely.
I also just finished book four. Can we take a minute to recognize that BJ is now a literal red and black cyber-alicorn OC?
4491935 You forgot zombie. :p
I honestly don't know why I keep reading these posts despite having basically no context for any of it, and having always forgotten nearly all character names in between posts. It's like reading a second-hand account of the Lord of the Rings appendices.
4491947
You come for the spectacle, obviously!
Me and a group of friends and volunteers are working on a fully voiced audiobook of this, and have been since 2014. We've gone through two different P-21s, and four different lighthooves. Like these reviews, the time and effort put in will definitely be worth it. Jack, our FX guy, has come across your reviews as well and jokes that "We might finish before that guy, we should race him."
Cri Cri, no race.
4500112
Fun times. :D
Oh, you sweet summer child...
4502681
DO NOT RUIN MY ILLUSIONS @_@