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  • 3 weeks
    SA Reviews #116

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    Sitting on a rock surrounded by debris, Intern typed away furiously on a laptop lying on his lap. Being so engrossed in his work, he failed to see a figure march up to him. The figure cleared his throat, but didn’t get a response. Next, the figure lightly tapped Intern on the shoulder but still didn’t get a reaction.

    The figure finally settled on slapping Intern on the back of his head.

    “Hey!” Intern squawked indignantly. “I’m trying to work here.” Looking up, he found a man he didn’t recognize staring impatiently down at him. The man was dressed in a finely pressed suit and carried a briefcase. “Can I help you?”

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    7 comments · 3,207 views
  • 5 weeks
    SA Reviews #115

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    Corejo stepped into Ferret’s office, hands clasping a manila folder behind his back.  “You wanted to see me?”

    Ferret sat at her desk beneath the light of a single overhead lamp.  She wore a see-through green visor and worked hell on a roller-print calculator.  The chu-chug of the calculator filled the air as it spit out what were probably forged tax return numbers.  Hard times were upon us now that the movie sucked away most of our reader base.

    She rolled her stogie from one side of her mouth to the other.  She didn’t bother looking up.  “Your reviews.  Don’t forget, I need them by tomorrow.”

    “You called me down here to remind me to do my reviews on time?”  Corejo smirked, taking slow, meaningful strides toward her desk.  He flopped a manila folder on her desk.

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    11 comments · 3,696 views
  • 7 weeks
    SA Reviews #114

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    Intern burst open a door, startling the Angels gathered inside sitting next to a poker table, and causing many to drop their cards.

    “Hey, I was about to win that hand!” Cynewulf yelled.

    Intern ignored her. He cast a quick glance over their confused and concerned faces, scowled, then slammed the door shut. He stomped towards the next door and threw it open much the same way he did the first. Long past the point of caring, Intern once again looked over everybody inside the room. At last, sitting towards the back in a darkened corner, he found his target.

    Waltzing in and brushing past anyone in his way, Intern loomed over the figure that was furiously scribbling away on a piece of paper.

    Intern reached over and flicked the on switch for the light.

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    4 comments · 2,958 views
  • 9 weeks
    SA Reviews #113

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    "What's that in your mouth?"

    "It's a pipe," said Cyne, and jabbed the briary thing at Archonix from her comfortable chair by the fire, that flickered low and dark, and smoked more than a thoughtful philosopher at three in the morning when the rain is scattering drops in careful patterns across dust-rimed windows.

    Archonix raised his eyebrows. "And it comes with all that prose for free, does it?"

    Cyne clomped her teeth around the pipe and glared at Archonix. "You smoke one as well, you donkey."

    "Only when I'm trying to write reviews," said Archonix. "And that's discrimination that is."

    Cyne didn't answer, preferring to stare into the fire and to think long thoughts, something entirely alien to Archonix on the best of days. They sighed in unison.

    ROUND 113

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    4 comments · 4,607 views
  • 11 weeks
    SA Reviews #112

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    The low-lying fog obscured the two ponies’ hooves as they tramped through the ancient graveyard. Luna’s moon hung in the early autumn air, burning a sickly yellow.

    “I hate graveyards, Ferret,” Intern said as he tightened his rucksack. He spluttered as he walked through a dangling cobweb.

    Ferret chuckled, and hopped over some brambles. “Watch where you step, you never know when—”

    There was a click underhoof, and a grasping griffon claw burst from the loam beneath the pair. Intern leapt back, cursing. Ferret laughed, and plucked the padded foam prop from its spring.

    “Why are we even here, Ferret? That new kid, Novel-whoever, is pretty good. This is a waste of our time.”

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    6 comments · 4,684 views
  • 13 weeks
    SA Reviews #111

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    “You do the honors.” Ferret’s eyes glittered in the darkness of the ancient laboratory. The ancient portal glowed with unholy violet energy, illuminating only the barest hints of her figure and the shaking person beside her.

    “Me?” Chris protested, stepping back from the portal and glancing at the giant hourglass festooned with twinkling geodes, flashing bulbs and enough copper wire to build a Faraday cage. “I’m not touching that thing! It looks like something Lovecraft and Jules Verne made on a bet! A very drunk bet!”

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    25 comments · 4,038 views
  • 14 weeks
    SA Reviews #104

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    Methodical fingers fell on the keyboard. Ticks and clacks and tacks echoed through the dreary cubicle halls of the corporate office space. Bleary-eyed and coffee-deprived, Matthew sat in front of the screen with the lethargic determination of the recently dead. The computer monitor, though searingly bright, was comparatively dim to the fluorescent lights that flickered on the ceiling.

    Then Red showed up holding a squirrel-sized newspaper and a human-sized coffee mug, which was full of assorted nuts. He slugged a mouthful down and barely chewed.

    “Ha ha ha!” the squirrel said. “Turns out Pontchartrain really did track mud in the house! I love that comic.”

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    18 comments · 4,038 views
  • 20 weeks
    SA Reviews #109

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    Matthew stood next to a metal door labeled “The Cool Room”. He had never seen this door before; not surprising since the Seattle’s Angels compound tended to lose and gain random rooms with astonishing frequency. He made a mental note to complain to the guys running the relativity lab to dial it back a bit.

    Pushing back those thoughts for later, Matthew grabbed hold of the handle to the door, turned, and pulled the door open. A rush of cold air blasted him, almost knocking him back. Matthew, now wishing he had brought a coat, braced himself and entered.

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    13 comments · 4,520 views
  • 22 weeks
    SA Reviews #108

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    Archonix strolled through the second floor hallway of the Seattle’s Angels Secret Underground Base and Treefort.  He licked his thumb as he leafed through a stack of papers, humming Winter Wrap Up in a most Scottish manner.  Without looking up from his work, he stopped and rapped his knuckles on Corejo’s bedroom door.

    “Hey, Core, you in there?  We need your reviews.”  No answer.  Archonix looked up at the dozens of Luna pictures taped haphazardly to the door.  ‘No Celestias allowed!’ read a small poster board stuck in the middle in glued macaroni and glitter.  The light of a computer monitor escaped through the crack beneath the door.  “Core?”

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    6 comments · 1,665 views
  • 24 weeks
    SA Reviews #107

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.
     


     
    Briefcase in hand, Chris nervously entered the room.  It was bare except for an imposing desk and a high-backed office chair, the latter with its back to him.  “Um, hello?  I’m here about the interview.  Ah, about becoming a Seattle’s Angels reviewer?”
     
    “So, you’re the new guy, eh?” The voice came from the chair.  Chris watched as it slowly swiveled to face him, revealing a diminutive rodent perched upon it.
     
    “Um, yeah, pleased to meet you.”  Chris held out his hand, a gesture met with an arched eyebrow.  “Right, squirrel, sorry.” He awkwardly brought it back to his side.  “So… you must be RedSquirrel, right?”  The rodent’s other eyebrow joined the first.  “Oh, uh, I guess that’s a silly question.”
     

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    13 comments · 1,995 views
Apr
5th
2017

Story Reviews » SA Reviews #101 · 7:26pm April 5th

Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


Giving a long, satisfied sigh of a job well done, Intern powered down his workstation. For the last time.

“What are you doing?”

Intern started and whirled around, finding Corejo standing nearby with an eyebrow raised.

“What’s it look like I’m doing?” Intern reached down to pick up his work satchel and slung it over his shoulder. “This is it. We’re done. The Angels have reached one hundred and I’m heading home!” He gave a jaunty wave and turned for the exit.

“You do know there are numbers after one hundred, right?”

Corejo’s voice stopped Intern in his tracks. “What’s that suppose to mean?”

It took Corejo considerable effort not to facepalm. “Dude, we ain’t stopping the reviews just because we got to one hundred posts. We’re still needed to showcase the stories that deserve attention. That hasn’t changed and I don’t see it changing for a while yet.”

Intern gulped. “So what you’re saying is…”

“Yep. Overtime!”

ROUND 101


Tirek's free subscription to Better Lairs and Landscaping magazine nearly led to the end of Equestria as we know it.


There’s something to be said for absurdist humor in ponyfics. The nature of the cartoon our horse words are based off allows for much greater leeway in that absurdism, and Better Lairs and Landscaping is definitely one of those stories not afraid to make use of this.

From the get-go, we’re given a Tirek imprisoned in Tartarus. Old and enfeebled, he has become accustomed to, if loathsome of, his little prison in the underworld, until a chance magazine delivery for an Equestrialized Home and Garden finds itself delivered to his cage by a very particular muffin-loving pegasus.

Cabin fever being a thing, the humor of this story quickly finds its place through how this story parallels canon and the disparity of just what Tirek ends up planning to do with Equestria once he’s conquered it. The writing is tight and efficient where it needs to be, which helps deliver the one-two punches so prevalent in this fic, and there’s never a dull moment in Tirek’s head as he sets his devious plan in motion and beyond.

Lovers of silly, light-hearted comedy will thoroughly enjoy this one. Don’t hesitate to open that new tab.

Ever wonder if villains would be more interesting if they had a little extra… aesthetic within them?

The answer is HECK YEAH!

Tirek may be a little dull when it comes to motives, but put a landscaping magazine in his hands, and he’ll be rearranging deck chairs by the end of the day. That horizon filled with nothing but trees? Wiped out. Allies that talk nothing of plaid designs? Show ‘em what a properly placed shrubbery can do to liven up a path. The mighty centaur shows the ponies how it’s done, with proper lawn care products and a little application of fire.

After reading this, you’ll never view the season 4 finale the same way again. Nor should you (view the season 4 finale the same way, I mean. DEFINITELY read this!). Those tall mountains aren’t going to carve themselves into figures of authority, now are they?


The Monster of the Year contest is coming up, and Scootaloo has an entry sure to give Ponyvillians the scare of their lives: a murderous spirit from Zebra folklore.

Beyond known reality, something awakes, called by the speaking of its name. It draws closer, closer, to the little town at the forest's edge. When night falls, its reign of terror shall begin.


Good horror is hard to come by these days. So are good thrillers. I’ve been a fan of Horse Voice since I first read The Writing on the Wall way back when that was the biggest thing on fimfiction. Like TWotW, this story hits a wonderful balance between creeping horror and hesitant innocence. Though, I wouldn’t straight up call this one horror, per se, even though the story has the [Horror] tag, though I do firmly agree with the [Thriller] tag. This one will keep you on the seat of your pants.

It starts out innocent enough, the CMC doing their usual innocent thing that then, against all intentions, slowly turns not so innocent. But where this story follows the rails in its startup, the follow-through hits a nice stride in playing up the mystery and the general sense of unease so necessary to any horror story, all the way up to the first Big Thing that leaves you mashing that next chapter button.

I’m going to lay it out straight. I’m not a fan of horror or scary stories. Never have, probably never will. So before going into this one, I was concerned about the gore tag attached to it. For my sake, that tag didn’t live up to my darkest expectations, but the horror and thriller tags certainly do.

This story’s going to be hard to talk about since a lot of the suspense and build up of events depends on readers going in blind. Needless to say, it went in ways I didn’t suspect given the setup. And then went further.

Point being, fans of the unknown are going to enjoy this and fans of genuine dread are going to love it. Horror done right isn’t just about characters being scared or maimed to death. It’s about being presented circumstances that defy our world logic and having to face that which has the potential to do us harm. This story gets it right, so take a gander during a deep, dark night.


When Twilight and Celestia have an argument about the existence of leap years, there’s only one possible way to settle their differences: a race around the world!

With the full benefit of hindsight, there may have been other ways.


Read this story, read this story, read this story.

There’s so much to love about this one. From the word go, there’s simple yet beautiful language crammed into every nook and cranny of this story that will sweep you off your feet. Sentences flow together perfectly to string together one hell of a narrative built around the titular 81-day race around the world, incited by none other than Twilight Sparkle and Celestia having a bet over seemingly inane organizational details.

Leave it to Twilight to fuss over the fact that the solar calendar is ‘three-hundred-and-sixty-five days, five hours, forty-eight minutes, and forty-six seconds long,’ instead of a nice and simple 365 days. It’s a silly way to start such a wager, but this story knows what it is at its core, and that has little to do with silly ponies being silly about silly things.

This is a story about growing up. This is a story about how the world is always changing, and that things are not as simple and happy and easily organized into little boxes with shiny red ribbons as they ought to be.

This is a story full of love and heartache and the impossible decisions that come with responsibility in the face of the morally ambiguous. And though there is plenty of levity interspersed, the sobering weight of reality never forgets its place among the narrative, and through this, GaPJaxie hits home time and again.

To be honest, it almost disappoints me that we’re reviewing this story, because that means it met our requirements of sub-one-thousand views. This story is so undeserving of that paltry viewcount. It should be criminal for a story as good as this to have so little views.

Were it available, I would pay money for a hardcopy of this story.

I went into this story expecting a silly romp of FiM characters going from place to place and getting into ridiculous adventures.

I did not expect this to turn into an allegory for the beginnings of freakin’ World War I. AKA, the Great War.

Okay, full disclosure, I’ve never read Around the World in 80 Days, the novel this story takes the name from. For all I know, the events that transpire here would be a well known fact for anybody familiar with the original. However, this isn’t a review of that story, but a story about ponies (and one dragon) and how the world they know is changing around them.

I’ve read some of the author’s works before and GaPJaxie is great for creating complex emotions within the characters and the readers alike. His stories, whether you like them or not, will provoke some type of response that often leads to thoughtful discussions. This story is no different and I felt worn out (in a good way) after having binged read this thing to get the review out. Some advice, you may want to parcel this fic out a little just so you can take time to digest what’s going on.

Some lovely work with Spike here. He definately goes through a tough time trying to get Twilight to her next destination while also sitting down to have a chat with a person living in the middle of all the turmoil. You get the perspective of the other side, and whether you agree with them or not, the work tries its best to show that there are always two sides to every story.

There are also very cute and emotional scenes with Spike and Twilight interspersed throughout and each time I want to reach in and hug them both and tell them it will be all right.

There are negatives, however. To make this story work, the world outside Equestria is colored by all the political, social, and economical complications found in our world. In other words, very removed from what we’ve seen so far in the show. However, Twilight still acts like she just stepped out of the show and is shocked by the actions others take and why they don’t listen to reason. Frienship is only magic in Equestria, apparently. It makes her come off as rather naive and out of touch, which is the point of her trip, I suppose, but it’s still kinda jarring.

Still, I don’t regret reading this and recommend it to anyone that enjoys seeing ponies being taken out of their element.


Bon Bon spent her time at the Ponyville Pet Center fundraiser having fun with a seal. This is their story.


Another absurdist story for you all today. As the silly, one-note stories of this fandom tend to be, the title speaks for itself.

The first and foremost factor here, which may or may not sell this story to you wholesale, is the premise it’s based around: Bon Bon is legally blind. Like, Velma blind (God, I miss the classic cartoons). Nothing corrective lenses can’t solve, but sometimes your contact lenses can go the way of the dryer sock, and when that happens Celestia help you. And this happening just before the big Ponytones animal fundraiser, things can get out of hoof if you don’t plan accordingly.

Fortunately for Bon Bon, things go exactly according to plan. Or, at least, she thinks it does. This is where the seal comes in.

It may be a one-joke story, but there’s plenty of variety to that singular joke that keeps things fresh and the humor flowing.

Let’s bookend this post with another silly story, but one that’s cute so it gets away with it.

It’s the night of the Ponyville Pet Center fundraiser and Bon Bon has a bit of a problem. She’s lost her contact lenses and can only make out vague colored shapes. So of course shenanigans ensue involving etches, fainting mares, and a seal. The ending ties it all up in an adorable manner and I’m left all warm and fuzzy.

If you don’t take this too seriously, you’ll get a lot of fun out of it. Ponies may be all friendship and rainbows, but they are also good at being funny and cute, which this story pulls off well. Check it out!


Intern slumped back in his chair, giving a long, exasperated sigh. “There. Done.”

“Yeah, nothing like burning the ol’ oil. Haven’t done that in a while.” Corejo looked over at Intern, noticing the burnt out expression. “Hey, maybe it would be a good idea for you to take some time off.”

“Uh, am I allowed to do that?”

Corejo shrugged. “Dunno. But, eh, you’ve put in a lot of work the past few months. Couldn’t hurt to ask. I’ll even put in a good word for ya.”

“Thanks.” Intern hauled himself out of his chair, stretching as he went. “I think I might do that. Go someplace that’s warm. Kick back, have few drinks.”

“Sounds good,” Corejo said. He waved as Intern headed towards Plum’s office. “See ya when you get back!”


Feel free to visit our group for more information and events, and to offer some recommendations for future rounds. See you all next time!

Report Wanderer D · 1,458 views ·
Comments ( 12 )

Look like good selection of stories

Whoooo! I'm going on vacation!

Oh, hey! I wasn't expecting this! Thanks for the review!

At the time I called it my RainbowBob story, my story with a silly premise that played it up. It didn't end up really getting a whole lot of eyeballs, but I enjoyed writing it and I still like to think that it is funny.

I'm glad you folks enjoyed it; I hope other people do as well!

You'd think I would have learned from this story getting relatively few views that a fake magazine or newspaper cover didn't get eyeballs on the story, but I resisted learning any such lesson from this.

I think the real moral of the story is that the only people who read Better Homes and Gardens are prisoners and my mom.

I'll have to check out the other stories; they've been on my "read later" lists for some time. Time to bump them up, I guess!

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

I've read the 2nd and 3rd fic, and they're both great. :D

I haven't read the first nor the third, but I am about half-way through the second.

Gotta make more time to read fanfiction.

Dammit.

Ahem.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/ba/ee/72/baee72d4a21fe0acd2a34b5964933d6c.png

To be honest, it almost disappoints me that we’re reviewing this story, because that means it met our requirements of sub-one-thousand views. This story is so undeserving of that paltry viewcount. It should be criminal for a story as good as this to have so little views.

The views don't come as easy as they did in the golden age of the fandom. Or maybe my haitus was so long most of my followers died. Either way, this review really made my day. Thank you! :twilightsmile:

Were it available, I would pay money for a hardcopy of this story.

THIS IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT A WRITER CAN RECEIVE.

Thank you so much, guys! It really is great that you've kept this feature going. It's great that a popular flop can still have a shot at critical recognition.

This comes at a good time, since I've needed some encouragement lately. I want to get back to writing, but I've been afraid everything will flop from now on. Perhaps it's time to throw caution to the wind...

How do I get these posts removed from my feed?

4485681 stop that. You're not real.

4485693
Undead are real people, too!

Oh my gods, Around The World In 81 Days is so good you guys. I literally nominated it for a Hugo Award on my ballot this year.

To be honest, it almost disappoints me that we’re reviewing this story, because that means it met our requirements of sub-one-thousand views. This story is so undeserving of that paltry viewcount. It should be criminal for a story as good as this to have so little views.

So many times this.

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