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  • 1 week
    SA Reviews #130

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    “It wasn’t until this moment that Intern realized just how large the Seattle’s Angels compound was. Entire days could be lost trying to familiarize oneself with just a single wing, let alone the months it would take to explore the whole building. But as Celestia as his witness, he was determined to do it or so help him!”

    “Intern, you’re monologuing again,” said a voice from above. “And you’re doing it in third person.”

    Snapping his mouth shut, Intern looked up to see Red perched on top of a protruding branch from the wall. He nibbled on a nut as he regarded the befuddled temp-reviewer. “Is this what you’ve been doing all month? Getting lost and talking to yourself?”

    “No,” Intern said, arms folded across his chest. “I’ve been very productive this entire time.”

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    6 comments · 1,238 views
  • 3 weeks
    SA Reviews #129

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    Corejo flipped through his Reviews folder one last time before making it up the stairs toward Ferret’s room. Yep, all there! He threw on a jaunty smile and strode up to her door… which was locked?

    A little red note taped to the door read in commanding read marker: OUT TO LUNCH. SLIP YOUR REVIEWS UNDER THE DOOR.

    Huh. Normally Ferret left the door open on Review Day so she could see their bright, sunshiny faces when they walked in. Whatever.

    Corejo shrugged and did as the sign said. And then he drummed his hands on his thighs. And then he looked around.

    Huh. Where were the shenanigans? There were supposed to be some wacky shenanigans that magically happened right about now at the worst possible time and inconvenienced him, because comedic coincidence dictated so.

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    5 comments · 1,526 views
  • 5 weeks
    SA Reviews #128

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    “So, Cyne?” asked Matthew, “whatcha up to?”

    “Oh, you know, just getting some reviews in,” she replied.

    “But… there’s no school anymore. And no school means no reviews! We’re free!” he shouted, literally leaping for joy.

    Cynewulf slammed a stack of papers onto the table in front of her. “Ha! Shows what you know. Summer school is now in session.”

    “NNOOoooOOooOOOooooo…”

    ROUND 128

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    9 comments · 2,045 views
  • 7 weeks
    SA Reviews #127

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    “Listen up, class! Today I will teach you all that is necessary to build a fanbase.” PaulAsaran spun on his heel and began to write on a chalkboard. “Take good notes. A five page essay and three mock-up reviews will be due next week.”

    A series of groans filled the classroom.

    Intern, wearing his now customary janitor uniform, stopped by PaulAsaran on his way to dump out a trash bin. In a low whisper, he said, “That’s more than we do in two weeks.”

    “Hush, you,” PaulAsaran replied. “I’m in my element.”

    “What do you mean by that?”

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    5 comments · 1,877 views
  • 9 weeks
    SA Reviews #126

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    A loud thump announced the arrival of Novel Idea into the dreaded dungeons of the Seattle’s Angel’s complex. To his surprise, the place had been completely redecorated. To his horror, he instantly recognized the new motif.

    Detention?!” he cried. “I’ve never been in detention in my life!”

    He turned to glare at the slide he’d been just dropped down. Corejo stood above, looking imperious—or at least trying to, it was Corejo after all.

    “You can’t do this to me! I’ll do my freaky time magic thing again!”

    “School’s in session. All of it.” Corejo winked—he actually winked—and pulled a level straight out of the Acme Budget Villain Catalogue. The portal closed with a resounding snap.

    He grumbled to himself and stomped over to the desk with his name on it and plopped down.

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    3 comments · 2,049 views
  • 11 weeks
    SA Reviews #125

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    Corejo, as a Seattle’s Angel, had experienced many weird things during his tenure as a reviewer. Multiple base explosions, the fabric of spacetime ripping apart with seeming regularity, and the slightly disturbing obsession Red had for nuts.

    Even with all that, today was already vying for his top five list in terms of stuff he didn’t expect to be a part of when he woke up that morning.

    “Okay class!” Ferret announced from her position on top of a teacher’s desk. Before her, a room full of kids and a few adults sat at wooden desk, pencils and papers at the ready. “Today beings the first day of the School of Reviewers!”

    Corejo raised his hand.

    “Oh, and I see we already have a question. What is it?”

    “Yeah, uh, what is even the heck? Why do we have a reviewer school?”

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    15 comments · 1,921 views
  • 13 weeks
    SA Reviews #124

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    “Look,” said Red, “I really think you’re going about this the wrong way.”

    “Oh really?” said Matthew419. “How would you suggest otherwise?”

    “Don’t dangle me by my tail off the edge of a fifty-story building?”

    A spotlight peered up at them. “This is Intern!” Intern shouted up through a megaphone. “We’ve got the building surrounded! Drop the squirrel and--”

    The megaphone squealed loudly, and there were sounds of a scuffle before another voice shouted at them once again. “No no no, don’t drop the squirrel!” said someone who Red thought might be Ebon Quill. “I mean, do, but first, just step away from the ledge and we’ll talk!”

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    12 comments · 2,685 views
  • 16 weeks
    SA Reviews #123

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    The pillars rose up around him, towering over Corejo like judgmental parents. On top of the pillars stood the Pillars, looking down on him like disappointed parents.

    “This council of Equestria’s first league of extraordinary gentlecolts—”

    “And three gentlemares!”

    Starswirl rolled his eyes. “Yes, quite.” Clearing his throat, Starswirl continued, “find you, Corejo, guilty. Stygian, read him his sentence.”

    Stygian, who wasn’t standing on any of the pillars, unfurled a scroll and began reading. Corejo could have sworn his voice sounded familiar. “You are hereby sentenced to review on a tight deadline. You will have to forsake the niceties the Seattle’s Angels grant their employees in order to make your due date.”

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    13 comments · 3,461 views
  • 18 weeks
    SA Reviews #122

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    Paul paced about the thing laughably referred to as his office. He could get about four steps down before having to make a turn, and that’s assuming his line of motion was just right. He glanced at his clock, grumbled some phrase unfit for the world wide web, and continued his pacing.

    “Hey, Paul!” The door swung open. Since this was the smallest office in the history of offices, that resulted in the door smacking Paul in the face. With a hand over his bleeding nose, he turned his glare upon the visitor, one Novel-Idea.

    “You were supposed to be here hours ago.” Except it came out something like “Ou er spsed here hrgo” due to the current state of his nose.

    Novel shrugged. “Blame T.O.M. We gonna do those reviews or what?”

    Paul stared incredulously. “Ou evn’t dn urrs?”

    “Not yet, nope.”

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    6 comments · 3,005 views
  • 20 weeks
    SA Reviews #121

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    The room was lit by faint orange candlelight, barely enough to see by, but the sole occupant didn’t mind. In fact, he prefered the dim glow as it added to the mystique and allure of his persona. Words and phrases came to him more easily in this atmosphere, not to mention that it had a soothing effect on his mind. Everything in place, Ebon Quill raised the quill that was his namesake and dipped it into an inkwell. He held the quill to a piece of parchment, hands poised to write the first word.

    The door to his room burst open and a bright light flicked on.

    “Ack!” Ebon Quill’s first word became a jagged line across the paper. Fuming, he scrunched up the ruined parchment into a wad and tossed it into a nearby waste bin.

    “Jeez, man, how do you even see?” Intern asked as he crossed the room where Ebon Quill sat.

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    8 comments · 2,959 views
Apr
5th
2017

Story Reviews » SA Reviews #101 · 7:26pm Apr 5th, 2017

Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


Giving a long, satisfied sigh of a job well done, Intern powered down his workstation. For the last time.

“What are you doing?”

Intern started and whirled around, finding Corejo standing nearby with an eyebrow raised.

“What’s it look like I’m doing?” Intern reached down to pick up his work satchel and slung it over his shoulder. “This is it. We’re done. The Angels have reached one hundred and I’m heading home!” He gave a jaunty wave and turned for the exit.

“You do know there are numbers after one hundred, right?”

Corejo’s voice stopped Intern in his tracks. “What’s that suppose to mean?”

It took Corejo considerable effort not to facepalm. “Dude, we ain’t stopping the reviews just because we got to one hundred posts. We’re still needed to showcase the stories that deserve attention. That hasn’t changed and I don’t see it changing for a while yet.”

Intern gulped. “So what you’re saying is…”

“Yep. Overtime!”

ROUND 101


Tirek's free subscription to Better Lairs and Landscaping magazine nearly led to the end of Equestria as we know it.


There’s something to be said for absurdist humor in ponyfics. The nature of the cartoon our horse words are based off allows for much greater leeway in that absurdism, and Better Lairs and Landscaping is definitely one of those stories not afraid to make use of this.

From the get-go, we’re given a Tirek imprisoned in Tartarus. Old and enfeebled, he has become accustomed to, if loathsome of, his little prison in the underworld, until a chance magazine delivery for an Equestrialized Home and Garden finds itself delivered to his cage by a very particular muffin-loving pegasus.

Cabin fever being a thing, the humor of this story quickly finds its place through how this story parallels canon and the disparity of just what Tirek ends up planning to do with Equestria once he’s conquered it. The writing is tight and efficient where it needs to be, which helps deliver the one-two punches so prevalent in this fic, and there’s never a dull moment in Tirek’s head as he sets his devious plan in motion and beyond.

Lovers of silly, light-hearted comedy will thoroughly enjoy this one. Don’t hesitate to open that new tab.

Ever wonder if villains would be more interesting if they had a little extra… aesthetic within them?

The answer is HECK YEAH!

Tirek may be a little dull when it comes to motives, but put a landscaping magazine in his hands, and he’ll be rearranging deck chairs by the end of the day. That horizon filled with nothing but trees? Wiped out. Allies that talk nothing of plaid designs? Show ‘em what a properly placed shrubbery can do to liven up a path. The mighty centaur shows the ponies how it’s done, with proper lawn care products and a little application of fire.

After reading this, you’ll never view the season 4 finale the same way again. Nor should you (view the season 4 finale the same way, I mean. DEFINITELY read this!). Those tall mountains aren’t going to carve themselves into figures of authority, now are they?


The Monster of the Year contest is coming up, and Scootaloo has an entry sure to give Ponyvillians the scare of their lives: a murderous spirit from Zebra folklore.

Beyond known reality, something awakes, called by the speaking of its name. It draws closer, closer, to the little town at the forest's edge. When night falls, its reign of terror shall begin.


Good horror is hard to come by these days. So are good thrillers. I’ve been a fan of Horse Voice since I first read The Writing on the Wall way back when that was the biggest thing on fimfiction. Like TWotW, this story hits a wonderful balance between creeping horror and hesitant innocence. Though, I wouldn’t straight up call this one horror, per se, even though the story has the [Horror] tag, though I do firmly agree with the [Thriller] tag. This one will keep you on the seat of your pants.

It starts out innocent enough, the CMC doing their usual innocent thing that then, against all intentions, slowly turns not so innocent. But where this story follows the rails in its startup, the follow-through hits a nice stride in playing up the mystery and the general sense of unease so necessary to any horror story, all the way up to the first Big Thing that leaves you mashing that next chapter button.

I’m going to lay it out straight. I’m not a fan of horror or scary stories. Never have, probably never will. So before going into this one, I was concerned about the gore tag attached to it. For my sake, that tag didn’t live up to my darkest expectations, but the horror and thriller tags certainly do.

This story’s going to be hard to talk about since a lot of the suspense and build up of events depends on readers going in blind. Needless to say, it went in ways I didn’t suspect given the setup. And then went further.

Point being, fans of the unknown are going to enjoy this and fans of genuine dread are going to love it. Horror done right isn’t just about characters being scared or maimed to death. It’s about being presented circumstances that defy our world logic and having to face that which has the potential to do us harm. This story gets it right, so take a gander during a deep, dark night.


When Twilight and Celestia have an argument about the existence of leap years, there’s only one possible way to settle their differences: a race around the world!

With the full benefit of hindsight, there may have been other ways.


Read this story, read this story, read this story.

There’s so much to love about this one. From the word go, there’s simple yet beautiful language crammed into every nook and cranny of this story that will sweep you off your feet. Sentences flow together perfectly to string together one hell of a narrative built around the titular 81-day race around the world, incited by none other than Twilight Sparkle and Celestia having a bet over seemingly inane organizational details.

Leave it to Twilight to fuss over the fact that the solar calendar is ‘three-hundred-and-sixty-five days, five hours, forty-eight minutes, and forty-six seconds long,’ instead of a nice and simple 365 days. It’s a silly way to start such a wager, but this story knows what it is at its core, and that has little to do with silly ponies being silly about silly things.

This is a story about growing up. This is a story about how the world is always changing, and that things are not as simple and happy and easily organized into little boxes with shiny red ribbons as they ought to be.

This is a story full of love and heartache and the impossible decisions that come with responsibility in the face of the morally ambiguous. And though there is plenty of levity interspersed, the sobering weight of reality never forgets its place among the narrative, and through this, GaPJaxie hits home time and again.

To be honest, it almost disappoints me that we’re reviewing this story, because that means it met our requirements of sub-one-thousand views. This story is so undeserving of that paltry viewcount. It should be criminal for a story as good as this to have so little views.

Were it available, I would pay money for a hardcopy of this story.

I went into this story expecting a silly romp of FiM characters going from place to place and getting into ridiculous adventures.

I did not expect this to turn into an allegory for the beginnings of freakin’ World War I. AKA, the Great War.

Okay, full disclosure, I’ve never read Around the World in 80 Days, the novel this story takes the name from. For all I know, the events that transpire here would be a well known fact for anybody familiar with the original. However, this isn’t a review of that story, but a story about ponies (and one dragon) and how the world they know is changing around them.

I’ve read some of the author’s works before and GaPJaxie is great for creating complex emotions within the characters and the readers alike. His stories, whether you like them or not, will provoke some type of response that often leads to thoughtful discussions. This story is no different and I felt worn out (in a good way) after having binged read this thing to get the review out. Some advice, you may want to parcel this fic out a little just so you can take time to digest what’s going on.

Some lovely work with Spike here. He definately goes through a tough time trying to get Twilight to her next destination while also sitting down to have a chat with a person living in the middle of all the turmoil. You get the perspective of the other side, and whether you agree with them or not, the work tries its best to show that there are always two sides to every story.

There are also very cute and emotional scenes with Spike and Twilight interspersed throughout and each time I want to reach in and hug them both and tell them it will be all right.

There are negatives, however. To make this story work, the world outside Equestria is colored by all the political, social, and economical complications found in our world. In other words, very removed from what we’ve seen so far in the show. However, Twilight still acts like she just stepped out of the show and is shocked by the actions others take and why they don’t listen to reason. Frienship is only magic in Equestria, apparently. It makes her come off as rather naive and out of touch, which is the point of her trip, I suppose, but it’s still kinda jarring.

Still, I don’t regret reading this and recommend it to anyone that enjoys seeing ponies being taken out of their element.


Bon Bon spent her time at the Ponyville Pet Center fundraiser having fun with a seal. This is their story.


Another absurdist story for you all today. As the silly, one-note stories of this fandom tend to be, the title speaks for itself.

The first and foremost factor here, which may or may not sell this story to you wholesale, is the premise it’s based around: Bon Bon is legally blind. Like, Velma blind (God, I miss the classic cartoons). Nothing corrective lenses can’t solve, but sometimes your contact lenses can go the way of the dryer sock, and when that happens Celestia help you. And this happening just before the big Ponytones animal fundraiser, things can get out of hoof if you don’t plan accordingly.

Fortunately for Bon Bon, things go exactly according to plan. Or, at least, she thinks it does. This is where the seal comes in.

It may be a one-joke story, but there’s plenty of variety to that singular joke that keeps things fresh and the humor flowing.

Let’s bookend this post with another silly story, but one that’s cute so it gets away with it.

It’s the night of the Ponyville Pet Center fundraiser and Bon Bon has a bit of a problem. She’s lost her contact lenses and can only make out vague colored shapes. So of course shenanigans ensue involving etches, fainting mares, and a seal. The ending ties it all up in an adorable manner and I’m left all warm and fuzzy.

If you don’t take this too seriously, you’ll get a lot of fun out of it. Ponies may be all friendship and rainbows, but they are also good at being funny and cute, which this story pulls off well. Check it out!


Intern slumped back in his chair, giving a long, exasperated sigh. “There. Done.”

“Yeah, nothing like burning the ol’ oil. Haven’t done that in a while.” Corejo looked over at Intern, noticing the burnt out expression. “Hey, maybe it would be a good idea for you to take some time off.”

“Uh, am I allowed to do that?”

Corejo shrugged. “Dunno. But, eh, you’ve put in a lot of work the past few months. Couldn’t hurt to ask. I’ll even put in a good word for ya.”

“Thanks.” Intern hauled himself out of his chair, stretching as he went. “I think I might do that. Go someplace that’s warm. Kick back, have few drinks.”

“Sounds good,” Corejo said. He waved as Intern headed towards Plum’s office. “See ya when you get back!”


Feel free to visit our group for more information and events, and to offer some recommendations for future rounds. See you all next time!

Report Wanderer D · 1,577 views ·
Comments ( 12 )

Look like good selection of stories

Whoooo! I'm going on vacation!

Oh, hey! I wasn't expecting this! Thanks for the review!

At the time I called it my RainbowBob story, my story with a silly premise that played it up. It didn't end up really getting a whole lot of eyeballs, but I enjoyed writing it and I still like to think that it is funny.

I'm glad you folks enjoyed it; I hope other people do as well!

You'd think I would have learned from this story getting relatively few views that a fake magazine or newspaper cover didn't get eyeballs on the story, but I resisted learning any such lesson from this.

I think the real moral of the story is that the only people who read Better Homes and Gardens are prisoners and my mom.

I'll have to check out the other stories; they've been on my "read later" lists for some time. Time to bump them up, I guess!

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

I've read the 2nd and 3rd fic, and they're both great. :D

I haven't read the first nor the third, but I am about half-way through the second.

Gotta make more time to read fanfiction.

Dammit.

Ahem.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/ba/ee/72/baee72d4a21fe0acd2a34b5964933d6c.png

To be honest, it almost disappoints me that we’re reviewing this story, because that means it met our requirements of sub-one-thousand views. This story is so undeserving of that paltry viewcount. It should be criminal for a story as good as this to have so little views.

The views don't come as easy as they did in the golden age of the fandom. Or maybe my haitus was so long most of my followers died. Either way, this review really made my day. Thank you! :twilightsmile:

Were it available, I would pay money for a hardcopy of this story.

THIS IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT A WRITER CAN RECEIVE.

Thank you so much, guys! It really is great that you've kept this feature going. It's great that a popular flop can still have a shot at critical recognition.

This comes at a good time, since I've needed some encouragement lately. I want to get back to writing, but I've been afraid everything will flop from now on. Perhaps it's time to throw caution to the wind...

How do I get these posts removed from my feed?

4485681 stop that. You're not real.

4485693
Undead are real people, too!

Oh my gods, Around The World In 81 Days is so good you guys. I literally nominated it for a Hugo Award on my ballot this year.

To be honest, it almost disappoints me that we’re reviewing this story, because that means it met our requirements of sub-one-thousand views. This story is so undeserving of that paltry viewcount. It should be criminal for a story as good as this to have so little views.

So many times this.

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