News Archive

  • 6d, 4h
    S7E11: Not Asking for Trouble

    68 comments · 2,130 views
  • 1w, 7h
    S7E10 - A Royal Problem

    250 comments · 3,653 views
  • 1w, 6d
    S7E9 - Honest Apple

    112 comments · 2,534 views
  • 2w, 3h
    S7E8 - Hard to Say Anything

    143 comments · 2,690 views
  • 2w, 18h
    SA Reviews #104

    5 comments · 664 views
  • 2w, 6d
    S7E7 - Parental Glideance

    163 comments · 3,523 views
  • 3w, 6h
    S7E6 - Forever Filly

    66 comments · 2,650 views
  • 3w, 1d
    AlicornPriest's "Alicorn Time" [Royal Canterlot Library]

    The memories of today's story will stick with you.

    Alicorn Time

    [Sad] • 2,138 words

    Twilight, believing something has happened to her memory, seeks out Princess Celestia to see if she recognizes it and can offer a cure. But the answer lies far deeper in the root of her nature and her life as the Princess of Friendship than she would have ever expected.

    FROM THE CURATORS: It's not often that a short fic laser-focused on a single idea — especially an idea without direct roots in the show — makes us sit up and take notice.  "At the outset, this looks like a pretty typical 'bit of headcanon disguised as a story'," Chris said.  "That does, though, sell this fic short in one crucial respect: the author is able to deliver some truly heartwrenching moments in the back half of this.  Celestia gets a couple of absolute back-breaker lines, and the final sentence of the fic is heavy in just the right way."  Horizon agreed: "It's a headcanon fraught with emotional issues, and the author hits the right notes to effectively draw those out."

    That was due not only to the story's choice of topics, but also the choice of perspectives with which it approached the idea.  "I've had trouble with my memory my entire life ... so the idea of experiencing most of life only 'in the moment' doesn't seem that awful to me," AugieDog said.  "But AlicornPriest does a good job of conveying how devastating this is to Twilight and of following her through the stages of grief as she comes to realize how this is going to affect her and her friendships."  That was brought out further by strong secondary character work.  "The story also made an effective decision in Celestia's characterization," Horizon said.  "Her casual acceptance of the phenomenon just underscores how disturbing the situation is if you actually stop and think about it."

    Those made this work not just as an idea fic but also as a story.  "I've zoned out while working in the yard and 'lost' a half-hour or more before," Chris said.  "Alicorn Time is that feeling, writ large, and it achieved a poignancy as a result which few 'headcanon fics' can match."  And the fic's solid extrapolation of that phenomenon to immortality was what made it exemplary, Horizon said: "I think asking important questions about our own experiences through the lens of fantasy is one of the highest goals that a fanfic can reach."

    Read on for our author interview, in which AlicornPriest discusses tweening, Account Patterns, and zoned-out YouTube flickers.


    Give us the standard biography.

    Hi! I’m Alicorn Priest. I’m 24, I graduated from college about a year ago — English, as you might expect, though I also earned a BA in Chemistry. (Yes, there are Bachelors of Arts in Chemistry. Whodathunk?) I’ve been a brony since season 2 — I was there speculating when we were wondering what Discord was gonna look like, and I started reading “Background Pony” back when there were only two chapters out. My first fic (if you don’t count the terrible one I sent to the EqD reviewers) was posted up on ponyfictionarchive.net in March 2012. (It’s called “The Table at the End.” Go check it out.)

    How did you come up with your handle/penname?

    It’s kind of a funny story. When I made my first GMail account, I fancied myself a philosopher — really, I just liked to think about complex topics — so I named my first e-mail after my first name (which starts with an A), followed by “philos.” When I started making accounts on Reddit and such the like, I decided to make it easier for myself by making every account with the same pattern: a word starting with A, then a word starting with P. “Alicorn” seemed like the obvious A word, and “Priest” for P was the first word that seemed appropriate. I like the imagery it provides: one who worships and serves the princesses. One of my clients calls me Ali P, which I find adorable.

    Who's your favorite pony?

    Twilight Sparkle, almost certainly. I have the same personality as her: studious, awkward, friendly, and a little naive. Somehow, all of my fics seem to include her one way or another. Close behind are Rarity and Pinkie Pie — Pinkie’s my problematic fave, because while I really like her personality and background, I think her depiction in the show is done right only about half of the time. “When she was good, she was very good indeed, but when she was bad, she was horrid,” if you know the poem.

    What's your favorite episode?

    As much as I’m a season 1-season 2 fanboy, I’ve gotta give it to “Pinkie Pride.” Every song is spot-on, Weird Al’s guest appearance is perfect, and the thematics and character exploration are stellar. It’s the quintessential episode of the show.

    What do you get from the show?

    I remember when I first got into the show, I was stunned at the attitude and charm it had. The main character is an awkward student who throws snark at everyone she meets? Is that even allowed in kids’ shows? And it had such tension and drama in those opening episodes, I was immediately hooked. I suppose if I had to distill it down to one word, it’d be “relatable.” The characters have real problems, they struggle with their friends, and they overcome through conversation and apologies. The bright colors and poppy songs draw you in, but the relatability is what keeps you watching.

    What do you want from life?

    ... Wow, what a tough question. I suppose I could just point to Maslow’s Hierachy of Needs and say “that,” but I’d better explain a bit more. First of all, I want to be happy, but “happy” is such a poor word. It includes everything from the satisfaction of a job well done to the zoned-out flickers when a YouTube video is slightly more interesting than the previous one. Unfortunately, the latter is much easier to get than the former, so ... there’s that. Second, I want to feel as though I’m useful to the world somehow. I want to feel like I’m creating things people enjoy, or helping make people’s lives better — something that has value. I suppose in a venial way, I like getting praised for doing good work, so that’s part of it, too.

    Why do you write?

    I write because an idea gets lodged into my head, and I want to expand it out into a story. I get a vision of a scene, or a line of dialogue, or a source of conflict, and I want to see how it plays out. The hard part is all the little interactions to get from one major scene to the next — in animation, they’d be called “tweening,” right? Other than that, I write because I have some idea I want to share with the world, and either my blog posts or my fiction is the best way to do that. I come up with a story about how weatherponies came to be, or I want to share a connection between transactional analysis and character interaction, so I write a story about it or create a blog post discussing it. Recently, I’ve had people regularly commenting on my posts, which helps a ton. If I felt I was just spitting into the wind, I wouldn’t keep doing it. (Hence why I went dark a couple years ago.)

    What advice do you have for the authors out there?

    Network. Network, network, network. If you want to rise in the ranks, you need to take writing seriously. Part of that process is talking with the community here on FiMFiction and establishing yourself. Make friends, so that your friends will read your stories, and then they’ll recommend those stories to their friends, and so on. If you’re an introvert like me, this is really hard, I know, but you’ve gotta do it. As to writing advice, it’d be “write what’s important” and “character relationships give you more to work with than each character separately.” And the editor part of me wants to add, “Wherever you meet with a passage which you think is particularly fine, strike it out.” That’s Samuel Johnson, by the by.

    What inspired “Alicorn Time”?

    A couple of things. To a lesser extent, ruminating on what it would be like to be immortal, and how the passage of time would feel after long stretches. As Celestia explains in the fic, I felt the sort-of dissociative episodes would be a blessing, to save their minds from having to experience every single moment. (The science behind it is pretty circumspect, I’m aware.) Primarily, however, it’s based upon my own experiences of college and previous. I wasted so much time on books, video games, and the Internet that at this point, it all feels like a blur. I would have done no worse if I had simply blacked out at the start of it and coasted through unconsciously. So Twilight’s resolution to “make every picosecond count!” is my own desire, and Celestia’s response is my resignation at the impossibility of that.

    What elements would you consider essential in writing a successful “explainfic”?

    Hah! You used my terminology. You really did your research. The biggest danger to writing an explainfic is that the explanation, the caulking to fill the holes in the plot, is all you have going for the story. A good explainfic should also have strong character interactions, an arc as the characters grow and change, a central conflict that the explanation factors into ... you know, all the workings of any good story. So in “Alicorn Time,” as Twilight tries to cope with having this new condition, her attitude changes, and she struggles to decide what she’s going to do going forward. A bad explainfic will simply set up a condition for a character to ask, “Why does this thing happen,” a character explaining it, and then the first character saying, “Ah, that makes sense.” I’ll be the first to admit “Alicorn Time” is not a perfect fic, and one of its weaknesses is that the characters simply sit down and talk at each other. This is another weakness of explainfics, and the solution is to write a plot which can involve moving around and interacting with objects.

    Do you prefer planning your stories out ahead of time or letting them grow during the typing process?

    I love when little details appear mid-writing session, but I can’t rely on that to be the driver of my story. Sometimes personality quirks will change certain scenes, or the way I decide to execute a scene will create connections I hadn’t considered. For example, in a chapter of “Mother and Child” I’ve been working on, I discovered a place to put Cadance in the Beta timeline of Equestria which I hadn’t really planned when coming up with the chapter. I also noticed how the events Pinkie accidentally puts into motion will reflect a later scene where she does the same thing more intentionally. So that’s really neat. However, I’m not a seat-of-your-pants type writer, as much as I pretend to be. I find I get the best results when I can sit down (with a spiralbound notebook, not a Word document) and sketch out the chapter progressions, the character arcs, and the event timeline. Otherwise, I procrastinate because I don’t know what to write. Of course, even when I do plan, I procrastinate anyway, but eh. That’s how it goes with me, I suppose.

    Do you think Twilight will ever be comfortable enough in her alicornhood to unconsciously call Celestia by name?

    Heh. Twilight and I suffer from a pretty similar problem. When someone superior to us earns our respect, we tend to ... idolize them, just a little bit. I do it with all the amazing writers that frequent my blog, and Twilight does it with Princess Celestia. Talking with one of your idols isn’t quite the same as talking to one of your equals, even when your idol is your equal. (We’re all horsewords enthusiasts here, in the end. Even when one of my commenters has 17 times as many followers as I do.) So for me, that means putting them on a pedestal, and for Twilight, that means she can’t quite get over adding “Princess” to the front of Celestia’s name. I’m not sure it’s something she’ll ever get over, perhaps until she finds herself doing as much as Celestia does.

    Is there anything else you'd like to add?

    Hmm ... the shill in me wants to plug my new monetization strategy, but I’ll leave that for the readers to find on their own. What I will plug of mine, though, is my series of blog posts entitled “Writer’s Workshop.” Every so often, I share a particular trick that can help make your writing more interesting. I’ve used examples from South Park, the RPG Fate: Accelerated Edition, The Arrival of the Mail Train, and the psychological methodology of transactional analysis. I’ve also got a couple other stories people might like if they’re curious — my other smash hit would have to be “It’s Impossible!” (with the unofficial slogan, “The Ride Never Ends!”).

    Other than that, I want to thank all the readers out there. Thanks for reading this interview, thanks for making “Alicorn Time” as big as it has been, and thanks for checking out my other writings. Hope you enjoy. :)

    You can read Alicorn Time at FIMFiction.net. Read more interviews right here at the Royal Canterlot Library, or suggest stories for us to feature at our Fimfiction group.

    4 comments · 802 views
  • 3w, 5d
    SA Reviews #103

    7 comments · 986 views
  • 3w, 6d
    S7E5 - Fluttershy Leans In

    78 comments · 3,043 views
  • 4w, 3h
    S7E4 - Rock Solid Friendship

    120 comments · 2,655 views
  • 5w, 2h
    S7E3 - Flurry of Emotions

    123 comments · 3,097 views
  • 5w, 2d
    Announcing EFNW Scribblefest 2017 Winners!

    After much deliberation, reading, rereading, and judging we finally have our winners for the Everfree Northwest Scribblefest 2017!

    I want to first congratulate all of you who submitted your hard written stories!  We had a field of 36 contestants, and that’s amazing!  Thank you so much for all your hard work that you do!  Now, without further ado, our finalist and their respective categories!

    Twilight Sparkle Award

    Ebon Quill with “Slouching Towards Canterlot”

    https://www.fimfiction.net/story/366340/slouching-towards-canterlot

    Twilight was a tough fight, and it got down to the wire in the end between the final four stories!  Excellent job, Ebon Quill, writing a story that showed you did the research and made sure everything was picture perfect!  Just like Twilight herself would love!

    Rarity Award

    Loganberry with “The Book of Ended Lives”

    https://www.fimfiction.net/story/365846/the-book-of-ended-lives

    This story was gorgeous, and it was a clean sweep with all 6 judges voting for it.  Both pieces in this category had beautiful, flowing prose, but ultimately the gorgeous flair that Loganberry had for his piece won him the prize!  Beautifully written, Loganberry!  

    Rainbow Dash Award

    Novel-Idea with “The Cycle of Flame”

    https://www.fimfiction.net/story/366378/the-cycle-of-flame

    To win in this category, the story had to be 200% cooler than all the rest, and Novel-Idea’s piece swept this category with all 6 finalists voting for it.  It was a tough decision, but his ability to write action, turmoil, and involve a side of Philomena that we don’t see in the show made for an amazing piece of fiction.  Way to be awesome, Novel-Idea!

    Pinkie Pie Award

    Posh with “The Next Best Thing”

    https://www.fimfiction.net/story/366330/the-next-best-thing

    We wanted to have a funny, snickering, hilarious story to win this category.  Posh actually manage to make us smile in this one as well.  His piece was equal parts funny, heartwarming, and sarcastic, just like we’d expect if Diamond Tiara were interacting with Spike and Starlight Glimmer.  Posh, you were nominated in 4 categories, and we all loved your story by degrees!  Excellent work!

    Applejack Award

    Apple Bottoms with “Nihtmer Niht”

    https://www.fimfiction.net/story/366417/nihtmer-niht

    The Applejack Award was one of the most contested categories we had for judging.  Ultimately, Nihtmer Niht ended up winning out in the end for being very true to the show.  The theme showed strongly throughout the story, and we loved the Aesop at the end, which really made this story win.  Hard work paid off in the end, didn’t it, Apple Bottoms?

    Fluttershy Award

    The Hat Man with “Freedom Flourishes”

    https://www.fimfiction.net/story/366521/freedom-flourishes

    The Fluttershy award has to be my personal favourite category, because I love heartwarming stories.  This story made all of us tear up at the end.  The Hat Man expertly blended past with present through a series of flashbacks in this heartwarming tail, that took all of the judges by surprise.  Freedom Flourishes was an extremely touching piece, The Hat Man.  Fluttershy would be proud.

    18 comments · 1,166 views
  • 5w, 6d
    SA Reviews #102

    8 comments · 1,098 views
  • 6w, 4h
    S7E1-2 - All Bottled Up / Celestial Advice

    167 comments · 3,632 views
Mar
20th
2017

Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


Wanderer D shuffled the key, but the lock would not relent. He could hear something going on inside but, no one was answering the door and his old key simply didn't work. He sighed. They had changed the lock again. And they didn't tell him. Again.

----

All the currently active Angels piled into the enormous theater that was capable of holding a thousand people. They took up less than a dozen seats. Some, like Red and Ferret, didn’t sit in the seats at all, preferring to stand on the heads of others to get a better view.

Soon, the theater lights went dark and a large projection screen lowered at the front of the stage. Plum walked out, stage right, and stood in front of the screen, his form perfectly silhouetted against the white backdrop. He raised his hands and addressed the gathered reviews. “My friends, we are here to celebrate our one-hundredth review post!”

The Angels all clapped enthusiastically, some giving a shrill whistle.

“Tonight, in honor of our great achievement, we will witness all that has come before and a peak for what is about to come.” He snapped his fingers and the projector came to life, displaying a title that made everyone gasp.

Seattle’s Angels Greatest Moments

“That’s right! A crappy clipshow.”

Silence washed over the theater. For an untold amount of time, no one made a sound or dared to move. Then, by unspoken agreement:

“You can’t be serious!”

“We deserve better!”

“After all the blood, sweat, and tears?!”

“I sacrificed my marriage for this job!” Red said.

“Though only the fifth one,” Ferret pointed out, holding up a list of how many times they had been married.

“I’m just here for the popcorn.”

All eyes turned to Intern, a large tub of buttered popcorn in his lap. He cringed and smiled sheepishly. “What? It’s free.”

“So this is what happens when I leave you guys for just a little while to run things.”

The Angels gave a startled gasp. They all turned towards the voice, coming from a balcony seat high above them. There, standing with his arms crossed and his face stern, stood Seattle himself.

“I admit, you all lasted longer than I thought you would. Suppose I should congrat you on that. But now is not the time for half-assed measures.” He snapped his fingers and the projector changed the screen to a new title.

ROUND 100


STORY 1

Eternal, by Device Heretic

This light-hearted romance brings Celestia and Twilight together as they vy for the the affections of a handsome young Canterlot Patissiere, in a tale that spans continents and feels like it goes on forever.


Seattle_Lite:

Well. One of the quintessential Twilestia fics. Somebody rouse Vimbert from the grave.

Ah, the heady days when 10k words was an average chapter length.

Oh. Hold on now. This is Device Heretic? From 2012? Damn, I think I remember being one o the Prereaders for EQD to see this through. Maybe. Or maybe I just heard of it and gave the TS/PC shippers on the crew a rough time for fangirling all over it. Both are entirely possible. Okay, let’s see what I can pull up from this one…

So here’s how this twit of an author (and I say that with deepest respect for an old guard writer who goes way back, so calm down) really delivers here: he presents a side of sun horse that few have delved into since, and certainly not better - that of melancholy and wistfulness at the youthful innocence and verve her young (relatively) student used to have. Now, Twi is all business and formality (again, on the surface) which opens a hint to the true heart of our divine princess. But again, Heretic doesn’t let on, not at first nor for a while. His tale unfolds in thin layers, drawing the reader in, much like the sarlacc pit of yore.

This has got to me one of the first quality fics where you get to see Celestia being a teasing little… ahem. You get the idea. But it’s fun, and not a little hot at times. And not in a crass way of so many of these ship-fics, but subtly, carefully, and with a delicacy to character immersion that is just too damn rare. Step up writers, read your elders!

Okay, example:

>The little unicorn shrank

Okay, you see that? That, dear readers, is a fine example of setting the feeling. Why? Because it’s already in context that Twi is the (what the f**** do you mean I can’t curse on these? H** **c**** *hi* *s*) … the bloody Arch-mage of the world, third only to the princesses. And Celestia is of such a stature, in both majesty and intimacy, to make the little lass shrink into her hooves. How adorable is that?

And Luna. That devious, clever, manipulatress of the whole event, so quietly orchestrating things. This is a quality Luna, and she’s spunky as hell.

Okay, so if any of you ever got a review from me back on fimfic’s /fic/ board or through eqd, you know this could go on for pages. Let me summarize. If you haven’t read this story, and can stomach some legit romance between (gag) Twi and sun horse, then this should have been among your favorite fics for years. Go forth, and read it. In fact, it really is worth a re-read, and very few stories are.

Cheers Heretic, hope you’re well mate.

Archonix:

It’s very well named.

RedSquirrel456:

Item #: SCP-∞

Object Class: Keter

Containment Procedure: Due to the nature of SCP-∞, full containment is not possible at this time. SCP-∞ is currently limited to the servers of a website known as [REDACTED], but attempts to seize and expunge this website have so far been stymied. Angel personnel are to be focused on observation using a text-finding script that will ensure detection of SCP-∞ outbreaks. Any websites or computers apart from [REDACTED] that display an instance of SCP-∞ will be seized and destroyed by Angel personnel immediately, with servers and hard drives moved to Site-34 for proper disposal. Manifestation of SCP-∞ infection in personnel will cause them to have the new designate of SCP-∞-01, and must be removed to Site-69 for processing.

Description: SCP-∞ is a batch of computer data that manifests as a derivative novel-length work of fiction about the characters of hit television series My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic. The story’s premise is an infinitely long and still ongoing relationship between the characters of Princess Celestia and Twilight Sparkle as they attempt to catch the eye of a third party, who are central members of the cast and not at all very pretty princesses, most definitely not. SCP-∞ describes a world of wonder and magic that is shown to have an entrancing effect on readers, leading them to wish for a new existence in Equestria, the setting of Friendship is Magic, which I most certainly do not enjoy watching. SCP-∞ is only 1.1 megabytes, but it is for all intents and purposes a never-ending story, and that’s just awful, because these stupid, dumb, adorable ponies have to be stopped, damn it, I don’t want to keep reading about them, don’t insinuate I read pony fanfiction.

SCP-∞ infection manifests in several clearly delineated and easily identifiable stages which fit the Kübler-Ross model for the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. So if you’ll make me stop trying to find this damn thing all over the internet and purging it, I promise I’ll stop talking your ears off about how much I hate it, okay?

Geez, I just think sometimes it would be easier to sit down and keep reading. Anyway, SCP-∞ just goes on and on about how wonderful it is to be a pony, and how much the ponies love each other and how our poor, pathetic race will never match the virtues espoused in the show, and how we could all have better lives if we just sorta fell into the magic and let it take us. It’s kinda disgusting how beautiful it all is. What’s the point of going on, man?

Screw this stupid report, I need to Smile Smile Smile. I’m gonna go binge watch season 2, which was clearly the last good season. Maybe if I do it enough Faust will come back and keep writing. Ha! I’ll turn into a pony before that happens. Oh please, oh please, oh please…

----

Wanderer D frowned. Something seemed like it was going to go terribly wrong. He looked at the remains of his hamburger and then to the glass in his hand, wishing he had ordered a larger coke. But food wasn't giving him that feeling… it was something else...

"Man, I really don't trust this new guy that just came into Colleen's Dojo. He looks like a douche."

----


STORY 2

The Best Of All Possible Worlds, by McPoodle

Twilight Sparkle reflects on how amazing Equestria is. Truly there is no better world than this one.


Seattle_Lite:

Seattle:

Huh. This one I don’t know. The hell? Okay, hold on, gimme a sec…

What. Voltaire? This is a tale from my heyday (say something, I dare you), and it’s grimdark-premised AND philosophically based. How the hell did I miss this one? Cassius. I blame Cass.

So… wow. This bugger is, naturally for a classic, huge. I don’t have the time to read through this beast tonight, so prepare for a few PoV / SoC progressive thoughts. Make sense of them for bonus points.

Okay. Bear with me here. This story is historically sound and obviously heavily referenced. While impressive in itself—especially for anyone who’s read Voltaire’s work—it’s a detriment to reader immersion till about chapter four, where the pony takes the stage.

>the pen is mightier than the horn

Oh, well played Poodle.

Okay… nevermind guys. This would take a long time. Here’s the take: this is dense, and stays that way. It is written intelligently and by one who knows Voltaire fairly well. If you enjoy historical fiction, with a heavy dose of underlying philosophical witticisms and quips, this story is for you.

Poodle. Keep writing.

Archonix:

I liked this. It reminded me why we watch the show, and how amazing Equestria is. Lets all go there!

RedSquirrel456:

Theorizing that one could time travel within their own lifetime, Dr. Twilight Sparkle stepped into the Quantum Leap accelerator... and vanished. She woke to find herself trapped in the past, facing mirror images that were not her own and driven by an unknown force to change history for the better. Her only guide on this journey is CelestAI, an observer from her own time, who appears in the form of a hologram that only Twilight can see and hear. And so Dr. Sparkle finds herself leaping from life to life, striving to put right what once went wrong and hoping each time that her next leap will be to a world that is indeed the best possible world of them all.


STORY 3

Five Score, Divided by Four, by TwistedSpectrum

In which a lot of math happens in a very short amount of time, and Rainbow Dash exposes her true genius.


Seattle_Lite

***k sake, another human story? You lot know I abhor these, right? Fine. I’ll make this as painless as possible, but somebody is getting fired.

>a lot of the fandom has died down over the years

In a 2013 story. Hilarious, right?

>whisky

Ah. I see we’ve a true Irishman writing here. I’m too drunk right now to remember my Gaelic, but pretend I send my regards.

>I'm not really a clopper

Sure kid, whatever you say.

And by the end of chapter one, we have dude wistfully envious of Dash in her role in a ShiningXDash shipfic. And then all a sudden f**kity BAM Dash’s signature mark is on dude’s thigh. Two questions—was dude wearing booty shorts or just pantless, and isn’t a Mark generally on the outside of the ass? I have an Orwellian suspicion that this Mark is on the inside of the thigh, just because that’s how I see this thing going.

So let’s see. 32k word story eh? Okay, for giggles, let’s jump to the last chapter and see what shinigans have developed and if we can make ANY sense of them. Pav will be taking bets at good odds for all takers.

Chapter 35 - Loyalty! Let’s see what we got!

Well, instant disappointment that Rarity, as worst pony, hasn’t been killed off yet. Shame.

Oh hey, I think our main character dude is a pony now! Who EVER would have imagined THAT plot twist. Willickers!

>I glance around at our options and mumble to the other girls

Well… we either have a typo here or dude is now a mare as well. I’m not gonna clear this one up, so have fun finding out!

Oh hey, Rarity makes a smart ass comment and Discord straight fuses her mouth closed. Now that I can get on board with! Shoulda happened 35 chapters ago, but hey, it’s the results that count, right?

Oh. What. So check this out—I’m pretty sure main character guy has actually turned INTO Dash. Best pony, yes. Thus, what the hell. Taking your OC and straight up REPLACING the Rainbow with him/her/it? Christ wept mate.

And then Fluttershy is transformed into a Draconequus sex slave. I’m … not entirely opposed to this. Should I be? Haha, nooooooooope.

Hm. So as the story ends, the title comes full circle, in the form of it being the opening line of a curse that seems to condemn Discord to eternal suffering, or work, or… something. Dun dun dunnnnnn.

Archonix:

It’s not often you get to read a pony story that goes real in-depth into history, math, and historical math. But this one does it superbly, and I feel edjamacated now!

I’m just disappointed this story didn’t end in 25 chapters. That would have been sooo meta.

RedSquirrel456:

I got an F in high school math so I didn’t really understand this one, but apparently Seattle loved it, so I’ll take his word on how great it is.


STORY 4

Sunny Skies All Day Long, by PhantomFox

Disaster! Rainbow Dash is dead and nobody can be found to replace her on the weather team! Without her fearsome leadership, Ponyville is left suffering the worst drought in history.


Archonix

A heavy-going story, but it's worth slogging through the first few chapters to get the epic adventure that sees the remaining five travel into the far west to find a way to bring Rainbow Dash back to life. You can skim the genealogies. They don't contain anything worth knowing.

Seattle_Lite

Okay, now, THIS is one of the more impressive grimdark stories I’ve ever read on—and GD is my shit. I’m not sure where the Angel above is coming from, what with the “Dash is deeeaaad” malarkey, considering she’s about the only one who DOESN’T die horribly in this fic.

Enter premise: all powerful sun horse has straight up lost her damn mind (again) and goes on a total rampage. So much blood. Hearken back to cupcakes slash fics plus Severance. I think Twilight gets her head on a spike in the first few dozen paragraphs, with ugh… all the things happening to the others.

Dear readers. I have a penchant for the dark and malicious in the blending of tales and pathos. But this. This story. Hell. In the end, with pretty much every known character’s torn corpse strewn about the city, Celestia decides to take off—donning the form of a more normal pony and traipsing off to canter about the land. No doubt this is a clever literary maneuver designed to illustrate her attempt to come to terms with her broken mind and bloody hooves by looking to assume a more innocent form. Or something.

Either way, this story is just a brutal nightmare through and through. Have fun.


STORY 5

My Little Dashie, by ROBCakeran53

Does this story really need one at this point?

RTStephens:

This is a story all about how a normal guy’s life got turned upside down,

Now I’d like to take a minute, just sit right there,

I’ll tell you all about how this fic broke all records without compare.

In West Cloudsdale, born and raised, on a obstacle course is where Rainbow spent most of her days.

Being all awesome, chillaxin’, and cool, and kicking some Buckball outside the school,

Until a couple of griffons who were up to no good,

Started makin’ trouble in the cloudhood.

Rainbow got in one little fight and Celestia got annoyed,

And was like, “I’m sending you to live with this broke dood on the other side of the Void!”

The human whistled when it became clear that this pony could talk and had a mark on her rear,

If anything he could say this equine was lame, but thought, “Naw, forget it, I’m glad that you came!”

He raised Rainbow up like a daughter, seven or ten years later,

She had to leave and he’s like, “No, Celestia you trator!”

Rainbow looked over how he had become sad and lonely,

And wrote him a letter how she had become the Princess of Bronys.

Seattle_Lite

Well. I suppose I should be grateful my Angels didn’t try to shove Nyx down my throat… so I guess there’s that.

If you haven’t read MLD, I don’t know what rock you’ve been hiding under. But if there’s room, I got the whiskey—let me in.

Alright, so as you all most likely know, this is the iconic tale in which by some measure of magic of a twisted hellspawn, our beloved best pone is stuffed into a cardboard box—in baby form, no less—and dropped on the doorstep of a rather sadistic psychopath. Harry Potter, anyone? Well. You wish. Because that twatwaffle cousin Dursley is ten times the character of this main, who essentially spends the entire plot—and Dash’s growth from babby to grown feather horse—in a rendition of: “It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.” And by the end of this saga, our beloved Rainbow is the one cross-legged in front of a mirror proclaiming her willingness to wing-bone herself.

And then everyone dies and it was all a dream, cooked up by Scootaloo’s twisted obsessions.

End scene.


A pensive silence filled the room as the screen went dark. The only sounds for stretched minutes were the nervous shuffling of hooves and wings, and the unending—and obnoxious—crunching of popcorn which by all rights should have long been gone.

“Tsk.” The single syllable fell like a hammer—heads ducked, eyes winced, lips were chewn.

The staccato roll of fingers on hard wood filled the auditorium, as the assembled Angels past and present gazed upward to the darkened balcony.

“Pav! Don’t think I don’t see you. Where do you think you’re going?” Seattle’s voice lashed out.

Pav froze, halfway into the hole he’d clawed out of the floorboards.

A heavy sigh descended from on high, and in a most mournful voice: “Oh, my Angels. What’s become of you? You were once the pinnacle of my hopes for…” He sighed, trailing off into sullen silence for a moment.

“I mean look at you!” he said, throwing out both hands toward the clustered Angels. “You’re a bloody anthropomorphic mess! Red, for Christ’s sake will you get the hell out of Plum’s pant leg?”

The rant continued for some minutes as Seattle took the open circular stair down from the balcony. Take a moment, he leaned against the floor’s pillar with a hand raised to his face.

Ferret’s ears pricked and she swore she heard Seattle muttering a slew of curses (rather creatively, she had to admit) and the name “Cassius”—and the odd “feather duster”—as he stalked closer. A bare few feet Seattle stopped before the group, his blue gaze sweeping carefully over each face. He grinned.

“Heh. Seriously guys.” Seattle barked a laugh. “A guy disappears for a couple years and he’s a narrative pony palpatine. Hands on two Angel’s shoulders, the whole of Seattle’s Angels broke down in laughter. Except, one should note, the intern, who seemed to have simply fainted dead away.

“Heh. Yeah,” said Seattle, getting his breath back, “we can still review the shit outta these things.”

Archonix and Corejo then pulled up a pair of packs, unzipped them, and to the glory of all present withdrew several fifths of scotch, whiskey, cool aid, and box wine—the box wine, naturally, was immediately and rather ferociously snatched by Belligerent Sock, who proceeded to gnaw at a cardboard corner and snarl at anyone who glanced his way.

Glasses quickly filled and, as one, raised high.

Seattle grinned once more, and said, “Angels. To you. You have been the champions of the unrecognized writers of Fimfic. You have dug through countless stories that this site has produced in search of the elusive gems just waiting to be discovered. The writers, and the readers, owe you a debt. It’s been an honor to have such a reliable, slightly psychotic, and skilled group of reviewers over these years that love this enough to be of such service to the community. Never let this…” he paused, choosing the next word carefully, ”...crazy... fandom stop writing. Cheers!”

“Cheers!” the voices of the Angels rang out, filling the auditorium. Except for Casca, who had stiffened like a board and fallen to the floor as soon as the 50-year Scotch hit his throat.

Seattle scowled into suddenly innocent and wide-eyed faces. “Which one of you switched out his kool aid? You’re fired.”


Feel free to visit our group for more information and events, and to offer some recommendations for future rounds. See you all next time!

Report Wanderer D · 1,423 views ·
#1 · 9w, 4d ago · 3 · ·

...well meme’d, SA.

#2 · 9w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

I am at a loss for words.

At least you made it a magnificent one.

~Skeeter The Lurker

#3 · 9w, 4d ago · 4 · ·

C is for crack reviews. That's good enough for me.

#4 · 9w, 4d ago · · ·

Wat.

#5 · 9w, 4d ago · 8 · ·

You guys, April Fools isn't for another ten days or so yet.

#6 · 9w, 4d ago · · ·

Isn't it kinda early for April Fool's jokes?

#7 · 9w, 4d ago · 5 · ·

This will all make sense if you read it aloud while watching Episode #100.  :trixieshiftright:

#8 · 9w, 4d ago · 4 · ·

Bravo on the Fresh Prince remix!

#9 · 9w, 4d ago · 4 · ·

And on behalf of every other writer:  at least that wasn't us!

#10 · 9w, 4d ago · 2 · ·

I think my name got put on someone else's review.

Oh well, it wouldn't be a SA post without a glaring mistake. it's probably my fault anyway. :derpytongue2:

#11 · 9w, 4d ago · · ·

This was awesome. :D

#12 · 9w, 4d ago · 4 · ·

>>4464836

Dammit, I forget to tag my review for one week day and suddenly it gets attributed to some random jackass.

That'll learn me to get edjamacated some more, I guess.

#13 · 9w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

Wait, how seriously should I be taking these? Because I actually liked Eternal a lot, but I've tried to read all the rest of these and couldn't finish them.

#14 · 9w, 4d ago · · ·

>>4464988

As seriously as pink elephants on parade.

#15 · 9w, 4d ago · · ·

>>4464980 Hey, watch who you're calling a jac- oh. Right...

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer
#16 · 9w, 4d ago · 3 · ·

>good stories with low views

I'd be mad, but squirrel won this.

Hap
#17 · 9w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

I have nooooooo idea what's going on here.

#18 · 9w, 4d ago · · ·

Fun fact: MLD was the first fanfic of any... world? universe? fandom? Whatever... that I ever read. Prior to that, and it's embarrassing in retrospect, I just kind of assumed people who wrote fanfic couldn't hack it as "real" authors. Youth is so damning, sometimes. MLD taught me that fanfic could be good.

Eternal showed me it could be perfect.*

*Full deference to the use of the word in-story.

#20 · 9w, 4d ago · · ·

If you haven’t read MLD, I don’t know what rock you’ve been hiding under. But if there’s room, I got the whiskey—let me in.

Not atop the ever-rising mountain of video games, decidedly not across the ocean of movies or the vast seas(ons) of television, in what likely constitutes the Middle Earth of this metaphor, lies my rock.  I've never checked to see how many could fit under, but I'm sure there are others just like it hardly a stone's throw away.

#21 · 9w, 4d ago · · ·

Of course you were going to pull this shit. I'd knock back a shot of bourbon, either in celebration or surliness, but I gave up whiskey for Lent this year (for some fucking reason...).

“Tonight, in honor of our great achievement, we will witness all that has come before and a peak for what is about to come.”

So... why are we staring at a mountaintop?

#22 · 9w, 4d ago · 2 · ·

I didn't make the list? I'm insulted. I WALK AWAY, FLIPPING MY CAPE IN A PIQUE, AN ABSOLUTE PIQUE HARRUMPH

#23 · 9w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

Congrats on 100.

#24 · 9w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

Hark, I must away on my flying jet-ski. Milk does not buy itself willingly.

#25 · 9w, 3d ago · 1 · ·

Sunny Skies is best MURDERPOCALYPSE no question about that

#26 · 8w, 6d ago · · ·

>>4466189

I'll have to take their word for it.  I got to the slaughterhouse scene two paragraphs in and realized the story was 4edgy16me.

At any rate, congratulations on 100, Angels!  And thanks for some awesome blasts from the past. :moustache:

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