Life of Syn - Speeding Up, Slowing Down, & the Aptness of Purple

One of the most important concepts in storytelling is pacing.

"Gobble it down, Big Blue. It'll give you time to recover before the next one's done."
(Art by Sweet Cream)

Stories need action and change, or your main characters become boring and flat. Shove too many plot points into a story without giving your audience time to breathe, though, and they'll burn out. It takes practice to learn how to do it. I feel like it's something I've gotten much more adept at over the course of writing Sensation, and I'm comfortable saying I'm getting decent at pacing my stories.

My time is another matter entirely. I've been doing things at a pretty break-neck speed for the past month and a half so. My days have mostly consisted of:
--wake up
--work
--dinner
--work on Whinny City projects/house maintenance/caring for friends in need/general adulting (originally typed "general adultery" there – edit yo' stuff, y'all!)
--go to bed way later than I intended
...with some Wednesday night gaming thrown in. There has been not nearly enough sleep, tons of stuff that I've gotten done (follow @HoofWorkWCPC on Twitter!), and a general frenetic energy constantly buzzing around me that leads to tension headaches and a lot of anxiety about what I haven't yet accomplished. But it's worth it. Also, it helps that I freaking love Hoof Work as a character. Just look at this guy!

That pinging noise you heard was your gaydar going off the moment you saw him. It certainly did for me!
(Via the Whinny City website.)

And for all the stress it causes me, I freaking love this kind of life. I love being engaged as much as I can with projects I love, and I'm super proud of all the work we've done with #WCPC17 (did you check out "Hey, DeeDee" yet?) and all the cool stuff we'll have at the convention (including a thing I'm not allowed to talk about but it's the coolest thing you guys!!!). It's going to be fantastic, and like everything my life, I want to throw myself at it full force. I want to live by my heart and my passion.

Because the thing is, I know that one day, I'm going to die. I've had an acute sense of this since I was in sixth grade (you can probably guess why, and if not, send me a DM), and it helps me keep perspective on how I want to spend my time. If I can trade a little bit of my own stress for someone else's happiness, then it's a good trade, one that I'll do over and over and over again, because it makes me happy, too.

But that sort of thing can go too far, as I've come to understand recently. At the recommendation of my therapist, I'm doing some mindfulness training. The key to it is reining your thoughts in to the present moment and allowing all the other thoughts to diffuse as you focus only on what is happening to you right now. I'm getting a lot out of it (the program is Mindfulness Daily, if you're interested).

I know this time spent reflecting is good for me. I spend a lot of my time studying adverse health outcomes as part of my job as a research scientist, and there's tons of literature on cellular damage that prolonged stress can cause. I know what it can do to me, and as much as I trust my logic and problem-solving in a work context, I tend to ignore it during my free time.

Which brings me to purple, or more specifically, Red-Blue. I'm a HUGE fan of Magic: The Gathering, and lately, I've found the color pie philosophy to be a really valuable lens to view myself through. Click here for info on the color pie, but the gist is this: each color in the game has a different value at the center of its philosophy. For red, the color of passion and spontaneity, it's freedom. For blue, the color of thought and reflection, it's perfection. I am absolutely a Red-Blue person.

You can perhaps already see the conflict. "Heart versus mind" has been my defining conflict my entire life, and it will probably be that way forever. And that's okay. There are moments where I over-commit to things and moments where I analyze things to the point of paralysis, but the pendulum always swings back towards the center once I remember that this is who I am and that I've survived the crises before.

I won't say that I'm necessarily in a healthy place all the time, but over the past year or so, I've found a way to understand myself, and it's really helped me both get through the tough days and help me shine on the good ones. Yes, I can do great, creative things when I push harder than anyone expects. Yes, I can figure out a massive data problem that leads to valuable health insights. Yes, I can attack a problem with both my head and my heart, and either one can lead to a valid answer.

I hope you take some time this month to reflect on your own strengths and weaknesses. Find a lens with which you can look at your life, even if recognizing your feelings makes you break down and cry (which has happened to me a couple times recently). Spending time with yourself can be immensely valuable, and you're definitely someone worth introducing yourself to.

As for me, I'm going to continue pushing hard on all the fronts I care about (TWO new Sensation chapters are coming out in a week!), and I'll remember to pause and reflect, if only to manage the pacing. I can do both, because I'm Red-Blue. Because I'm purple.

~Vivid

Comments

[Double R Forrest]

Gee, Magic the Gathering is one of those few nerdy things that I could never get into, which is a shame considering all of my high school buddies loved it... Regardless, it's nice to see that you're working out this pace of life. You're at a better place than me, that's for sure (I've got too much value on entertainment, tendency to hold off work until last minute because that's when I'm properly motivated, agnostic in a society that values religion, etc.) So good luck with all of that, and here's to more Sensations!