Tardy; Therefore, Flash Fiction! · 12:17pm Feb 26th, 2017
I know I didn't really update anything this week (I pulled around six thousand words out of my hat and spread them across too many different projects), so here's some irreverent, comedic flash fiction I randomly spewed on Discord.
Satan explains that the priest is in Tartarus for touching one too many children and forgetting to mention it during his last Confession.
"Fair enough," says the priest, "but why am I a horse?"
"I got bored and made a pony planet that I'm sending you to."
"You can send me out of Hell?"
"This one's part of Hell, technically. It's the perfect punishment for a guy like you, though. Gotta do my job or the old man upstairs said he'd move me somewhere hotter, said he had a guy named Dante give him the sickest ideas. Whatever. Point is, everyone there is the spitting image of all the adorable innocence you so love to defile."
The priest drools a little. "I don't see how that's a punishment."
"They're all adults on the inside." Satan grins.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"They do have kids of their own, to be fair."
"Ooo--"
"They'll give you a fatal diabetic stroke if you so much as look at them."
"FUCK!"
"I'm afraid not."
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