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Mitch H


“What all the wise men promised has not happened, and what all the damned fools said would happen has come to pass.” ― William Lamb Melbourne

More Blog Posts81

Jan
17th
2017

The Next Great Cake War · 7:21pm Jan 17th, 2017

All day they cooked, the baker-ponies in their field-ovens,
But the hooves gripping their ladles were covered in batter
And the hollow pits of the eye stared, vacant and starved,
Where luna's moonlight shone.

The hair-nets lay like blots on their thin manes,
The toque blanche splattered with powdered sugar and spice,
But they mixed the batter in the nests beneath the hill
As they had of old.

And the ovens glowed, and the mixing-machines, but there was no sound,
Never the gasp or rustle of well-fed mares
Where the starveling cooks hung their cheese-nets on disputed ground
I knew them, then.

'It's ninety moons,' I cried. 'You must bake no more!'
'We know your cakes. We know that you are the starved!
Must you bake forever for Appaloosa and the last, wasteful food-fight?'
'Foal! For the next!'
They laughed.

With apologies to Stephen Vincent Benet.

Comments ( 2 )

This is good. Strange, because a parody of a poem about the horrors of trench warfare can't really be either funny or serious, but well-done.

4406885 Somebody on the new Discord FiMFiction server was talking about the canonicity of a Cake War I, implying the future possibility of a Cake War II. So, yeah, this was my reply to that fact.

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