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Jan
17th
2017

Review #41 - My Only Sunshine · 2:59am Jan 17th, 2017

So today I am only reviewing one story. The reason is that this one is amazing, and I want to spend more time on it than usual.

Little note, though. I will be using Luna instead of Nightmare Moon for the sake of writing space.

So, here it is:

My Only Sunshine by CoffeeBean
(Alternate Universe, Drama, Sad)
Love is one feeling that can never be taken from someone's heart. No matter how many years of separation, no matter what wrongs were done in the past, no matter how much enmity exists between two ponies, love will always stand; at least that's what Nightmare Moon is hoping for. 700 years ago was the last time she had seen her sister Celestia, and her departing words had simply been 'I love you'. Now, after so long, Nightmare Moon's heart longs for its other half; and thus, she has brought Celestia back from the far away, magically void lands she cast her to so long ago. Now, she wonders if her sister will ever find it in her heart to forgive her for what she's done, and if their lives together can ever resume as they once had. Takes place 300 years before when Luna would have returned from her banishment to the moon, and takes place in a universe where Nightmare Moon was never banished in the first place.

Review
The Prologue:
The prologue on this story is, well, a prologue; and a very good prologue at that. It introduces the entire story very well, and even lets the entire story come full circle at the end. It also establishes who the characters are, and a little bit of why they do what they do, but only a little bit. It has good pacing, very few errors, and seems like the story was planned around it.

Chapter 1:
Chapter one is kinda more introduction, as it encompasses the meeting of Iris and Celestia, shows the bitterness of Celestia towards Luna, and shows that Celestia cares more for Philomena than for herself. More towards the end, Celestia learns a little more about how modern life operates, and that Luna has changed ever since Celestia came back. This one has good pacing, and though it can feel a little long, that is due to chapter size not pacing. It also has very few errors within and seems rather planned out.

Chapter 2:
Chapter two is mostly about Celestia learning about modern conveniences. Towards the end, however, it is about Luna and Iris discussing Celestia’s magic, and why she can’t have it back. Within this chapter, the pacing is still good, but not as great as some of the others. There are very few errors, though. And it seems planned out enough.

Chapter 3:
In Chapter 3, Celestia learns about Equestria’s current population. During Luna’s part, she gets summoned to Celestia’s room because Celestia is sick. Luna then brings Celestia to the spa. This chapter, in terms of pacing, actually goes by rather quickly. It has very few errors within the text. But it does not seem as planned out as the other chapters.

Chapter 4:
Chapter 4 picks up about where Chapter 3 ended; Celestia, while in the shower at the spa, is reminded of the place she was banished to. She gets out scared, and it is here that Luna comforts her and offers soup. Celestia then confronts Luna about her dreams, along with accusing Luna of not caring for her… an argument happens. The rest is pretty much an introduction to Chapter 5. As far as pacing in this chapter, it’s pretty good. There are, once again, very few errors in the text. And is planned out enough.

Chapter 5:
Chapter 5 is about Celestia meeting Chef Cold Cut. They talk about many things, which I will not mention here for the sake of time, and Cold Cut shows Celestia a sort of middle opinion of the extremes that are Luna and Celestia. At the end, it is Luna checking in on Celestia after the meal when she is back in her room. Pacing is good in this chapter, it has very few errors, and seems like the middle chapter of a story, where things start to change in a character.

Chapter 6:
Celestia hallucinates… a lot. And Luna admits that she doesn’t know how to give Celestia her magic back the liar. Celestia learns she is being spied on, and that the guards are reporting falsely to Luna about what she says. Iris admits she wants the sun to return if only to see what it looks like.

Chapter 7:
Act 1
Celestia gathers a saddle bag and some food that lasts for a trip to The Castle of The Two Sisters. Celestia also learns how to use matches and cans of food from Cold Cut.
Act 2
Celestia and Luna talk a lot about stuff that I will not summarize, for that will take away from the experience. Celestia goes outside with Philomena to learn about being tough.
Act 3
Celestia goes out flying and mistakes lightning for lasers fired at her from Luna. Celestia also loses her hearing. Philomena, however, is there to slap some sense into Celestia about the lightning, and Luna eventually finds her in the spa and repairs her hearing.

Chapter 8:
I actually have no clue what to put here… Celestia questions her motives. And she ends up in the old castle.

Chapter 9:
Act 1
I shall now copy/ paste the thing I said to the author in a PM…

Hmm, a detailed analysis... I shall try my best at it. A quick note, though, I will be counting all of chapter 9 as the ending.
The introduction: The introduction is a short, sweet little moment between Philomena and Celestia as they walk to the old castle. This moment really seems to finalize the bond that one gets with the character's friendship. Furthermore, it helps deliver that "sucker-punch" to one's heart when Philomena dies.
From the end of the introduction to Philomena dying: This part seems to be mostly important heart-wrenching for Celestia filler leading up to Philomena's death. In addition, it builds up the feels inside of one, so that the death of Philomena adds just enough feeling to make the figurative "dam" break.
Philomena's death to NMM/ Luna agreeing about the sun: Here the guilt and anger that Celestia feels about Philomena's death show through, and it seems to be about accurate for somepony who has just lost a dear friend. The acceptance of Celestia towards Luna seems a bit forced, while the changing of NMM/ Luna feels a bit quick, but also rather good pacing because previous chapters lead up to it.
Conclusion: I do hope that Celestia slowly introduces the days, rather than going back to the normal cycle immediately, to allow Equestria a slow adjustment. Here, Luna and Celestia act a little odd, but I cannot quite place why; perhaps because Celestia does not seem to have the same feelings of loss for Philomena, as she appears to get over it rather quickly (we proceeded to have a discussion about how everyone interprets loss differently). Finally, those last four-ish lines of dialogue really add a sense of finality, as if there is nothing more that is necessary to tell. Granted, it does leave one somewhat wondering what the new Luna looks like, what happens afterward, and what the dream is about. But personally, I would rather come up with such things myself, rather than have someone tell it for me, so I can make it as joyful, or as sad as I wish it to be.

Act 2
Celestia goes to meet with the “keepers” of Philomena and talks with them. And this line at the end brings the ENTIRE story full circle: "What would it be like, Philomena, to stand in the bed chambers of a friend who had passed?" Pretty cool how the author did that, right?


Score: 12/10 Recommendation: "DROP EVERYTHING AND READ IT RIGHT NOW," he boomed in the Royal Canterlot Voice.

Personal Thoughts: That was {Insert word of choice here} AMAZING!

Comments ( 4 )

I almost teared up when I made it to the bottom.

A fucking 12/10.

Shit, you made my week. I... am so, SO glad you liked this story. Seeing this review... I had no idea you would go this in-depth.
Knowing all of the time I spent just... POURING my heart into this story, and seeing that it has paid off, not just for you, but for many others, warms me to my core.

Thank you for reading, Matthew.

4385517
My face actually just looked like this while reading your comment: :pinkiehappy:

This is my favorite story EVER!!! I too give it 12/10.... coffeebean, you are an amazing writer....

4385600 Funny, I checked back here to see if anyone else commented, and I saw this.

You guys are a bunch of flatterers...:twilightblush:

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