Jan
14th
2017
Advice Please · 8:38pm Jan 14th, 2017
Hi. I'm asking all my watchers something quite important.
The way Lost Reflections is playing out, is there any advice you'd give me?
The last chapters was quite a pivotal moment as it hereby ended the running theme of not knowing why the main villain is so reviled.
I just need to know if I went a bit OTT or if I've missed anything out or anything you'd recommend.
Some of you may know I'm fairly new to Fimfiction and, although I like to feel I've made a decent impression, I still feel I've a lot to learn.
I'd appreciate honest feedback.
Thank you.
From my point of view, there's nothing wrong with the story, you're doing great! As for Countess Glass....make her pay for... you know.
I don't know what you're planned but I would say that Derpy enters her protector mode as mother and beats her up (The doctor can enter that mode too as father) and lock the Countess up into Glanders Gate Asylum...FOREVER!
Well, I've plans for Glanders Gate very soon.
As to the Countess, she'll get what's coming to her, don't worry.
4382875 (Emperor Palpatine voice) Good, good
4382877
4382907 As seen in your picture, she's out of her mind. But that would please the Emperor. I would comfort Dinky after this is over. Shh, my dear it's over, you're save now, shh...
4382913 Yeah don't worry.
I think it's safe to say that whatever her aunt does to her daughter, Derpy will repay a hundredfold.
Dinky might surprise you though...She's not as helpless as you might think.
4382932 As her father is a timelord, she could have Inherited his strengh other other useful genes. And as she's a unicorn, in panic a spell could go off, saving her.
4382937 Wait and see.
4382938 I will
Sounds silly, but I had a reaction based on the game Payday 2 in mind for the chapter relevated to the picture you sent me
4382944 Can you send a link?
4382954 To the game or what do you want to know with the link?
4382960 I know what Payday is, I just don't know what you mean by a reaction based on it.
4382962 Oh... would be like this:
"Don't dare hurting her!"
"Oh yeah, Brony? You and which army?"
"Army? Look around you." (Grins as Glass sees many angry Bronys and Dinky fans preparing to get in.
"Get in there. Attack!" a brony shouts.
"Oh, Buck."
"Alright, ramblers, let's get rambling!"
(BRONY ASSAULT IN PROGRESS)
4382980
Don't worry. I'll make sure it satisfies.
4382981 I'm sure you will
I wanted to add the Skulls signs but this wasn't sadly possible and Payday 2 has so many good Assault tracks that I coudn't decide which would fit this
I really liked the chapter, and think you did a good job of conveying just how dangerous and destructive Cascadius is. You may have gone a little OTT on bodycount, although that's possibly just my personal taste in villains (I have a little more respect for someone who's less wasteful, but that's a matter of philosophy), but the deaths of the Bearers were particularly well conveyed. It's clear why the Doctor hates and fears Cascadius just as much as he does. I'll trope it properly once exams are done, but I sense a couple of new entries in Tear Jerker and Nightmare Fuel once I do. A thing we still don't know is a lot of Cascadius' motivation beyond getting paid, although there are definitely hints at something else. I wouldn't be surprised if that was all part of the plan though.
I will respectfully disagree with Bronycommander though, I don't see Derpy as portrayed in your stories getting violent, at least not in a massively effective way, she's got a different kind of strength.
Either way though, it will be satisfying seeing our colourful cast of villains meet their comeuppance.
4383010 Thanks very much for your advice, glad you liked it.
I see your points.
I thought about Cascadius practicing a philosophy that essentially treats the excessive body-count as a way of punishing those who try to impede him. He doesn't want anyone to interrupt his work and the best way to dissuade that is to have an even worse alternative for his victims.
At this early stage, at least, Cascadius had quite an ego despite his professionalism.
The Doctor changed that. So much so that he willingly called off the attack on Olwen upon seeing him.
I'm still not quite certain if I'll have Derpy go berserk on her aunt or leave that to somepony else.
Whatever most satisfies, really.
Out of curiosity, when will your exams be done?
Just so I know when to check.
4383036 That's an entirely reasonable philosophy, especially for someone like Cascadius. I think he might still have that ego, even if he has learned to be aware of his weaknesses, and I could definitely see some naivety in the younger Cascadius compared to the older one of modern day. The comparison is quite interesting. Younger Cascadius is prone to fits of temper, a habit his older self has shed, and seems more showy in general.
Exams are done next Thursday, so I should be back to functional by Saturday morning, sorry if I've being going on about them a lot, it's just on my mind.
4383062 It's quite alright, I don't want to impede you.
And you're correct. Ego's still there but the temper not so much.
But let's face it, you wouldn't be too pleased if someone had taken you down the long step to unending torment.