Lyra's Random Thoughts Compiliation #1 · 2:26pm Jan 13th, 2017
Lyra's Random Thoughts Compiliation #1
This is a compilation of random thoughts, ideas, and musings I have on a daily basis. Read at your own risk. My mind is a very odd place.
Random Thought #1: I enjoy trolling people on Tinder disguised as a giant hamburger anthro with extra cheese.
Yes I know. I'm going to Hades for this. Oh well. At least I'm having as much fun as possibly before I get there.
Random Thought #2: We have a poo emoji. Where is the barf emoji? Snot emoji? Piss emoji? Or the diarrhea emoji, blood emoji, saliva emoji, earwax emoji, or sweat emoji? I'm still waiting.
Random Thought #3: I like writing this on random sidewalks outside of creepy buildings or unsettling locations with chalk just to see people's reactions: "No respect for the dead, disturbing their crypt, your soul will be cursed, your flesh will be ripped. The dead are lonely, this much we know to be true, if you look for the dead, they will take your soul too."
Yes I know. I'm probably going to Hades for that too. Oh well. At least I'm having fun on the way there.
Random Thought #4: If I ever become a ghost I want to prank people all day long. I will write weird things on walls. I will make things levitate. I will do ghost like stuff in general. But I will be polite and pay the rent. A lot of these cheap ass ghosts are always up in your house haunting it and they don't even contribute to the monthly expenses. Basically they are paranormal hobos. If I am a ghost I won't be a hobo. I will gladly pay people for their trouble. Book me in advance! I will also haunt public events like Weddings. Or public places like hotels. Hire me and I will make things interesting for sure!
Random Thought #5: If I were in charge of volcano duty I would feed all the useless celebrities to it. The corrupt Hollyweird elites would make a good snack for the volcano gods. Any dumb celebrity could be sacrificed to help preserve the intelligence of our species. Who cares about due process? Their dumb actions speak for themselves. We can shove the dictators and corrupt politicians in there too. Have one large bbq. #VolcanoLivesMatter
Random Thought #6: The scariest place a body was found was one of those soulless action figures (Funko pop or whatever they are called) placed in a Poop Crate. The scariest thing? You can find these soulless figures every month if you have a subscription. Legend says that if you stare in the Funko Pop's eyes your soul will get sucked into the doll. And the Poop Crate will ship itself to the next unsuspecting victim. So avoid Poop Crate and the Funko Pop dolls at all costs.
Random Thought #7: Trees, plants, etc. actually can respond to their environments. They have a consciousness of sorts. So even vegans/ vegetarians are still eating a living thing. They will have to go to the next stage of just living off of sunlight or nothing at all to truly break free of the karmic cycle. Because even water has living organisms in it, so they can't drink that either. All life on earth is valuable.
So you can take this one of two ways. You can respect the balance of life by eating both meats and vegetables and understanding that you are spiritually contributing to the healthy cycle of the earth. Or you can break free from earthly obligations and not eat anything at all. I've heard that certain people who meditated were able to break free from the need to eat or drink. But I don't think most people have this spiritual dedication. So you might as well just take the karma of being part of the earthly cycle and celebrate the balance of nature by eating healthy amount of all available foods.
That's the way I was taught growing up. And I will enjoy contributing to the natural balance which each fried shrimp or seafood dish I eat.
Random Thought #8: I was born in California and lived there for many years while I was growing up. So I know firsthand that California is filled with wealthy California elites who can't tell their ass end from their head. I used to live in California so I can spot the rich salad head bozos a mile away. I feel that this makes a difference because Northern Californians and other spread out communities throughout the state usually have a bit more common sense than the salad heads.
If you go to most universities across the United States you will find a bunch of empty headed people from the rich or upper class members of society because they have never actually had to work hard for anything or study in school. They just get other people to do all of their work for them. And I will bet if you looked at university campuses around the world, you would find the same trend because most (not all) rich people, again, don't have to work hard for anything in their lives. But I have to admit that it is entertaining to witness how stupid the elites really are. And just remember that these are the people we vote into office. A box of rocks is literally smarter and has more value then these walking airbags. These are just my thoughts.
Also keep in mind that I grew up in a highly wealthy family (although it was really dysfunctional and abusive as well). I used to think it was normal to have more than one home, a summer home, fancy cars, and other luxuries normal people don't have access to. After leaving my abusive family I was cut off from all of that. Now I am at the poor end of the spectrum. So trust me. I know how the elites work. I grew up living that lifestyle. And therefore I can recognize what should be criticized about it.
Random Thought #9: I also like trolling people with random videos on Music.ly. You will find that trolling people on the internet is a common trend with me. But it is always harmless fun.
Oh and I troll people with random videos on Vine as well. Are you really surprised at this point?
Random Thought #10: One time I met this person at the grocery store who insisted that they knew me and my name was Susan. So I just went along with it and pretended to be Susan. We had a pretty long conversation and then we parted ways. I later thought to myself that the next time that person runs into Susan, the real Susan was going to be very confused. I also thought it was weird that there was apparently someone who looked just like me in the same town but with a different name. Maybe Susan is my evil, alternate reality twin. The world may never know.
Random Thought #11: The scariest event in 2016 was the long poop I took after taco Tuesday at this one local restaurant when I ate something like 15 beef taco specials in one sitting. That was the most waves of rolling feces I've ever seen slip out of my backside in one sitting. I didn't even know so much poop could fit up there, but I was proven wrong! Just when I thought the bowl movements would stop, even more came slithering out like some kind of ungodly creatures from the under realm. It was like Niagara Falls down there for thirty minutes straight! I somehow lived to tell the tale. I never thought I would stop pooping, but things eventually did come to an end. After that, I never ate more than eight tacos or so in one sitting again. Be warned about discount tacos; they may be delicious but if you eat too many you'll have the shits for hours or days at a time! You've been warned, my friends. Make good eating choices and stay safe out there.
Random Thought #12: These days you can literally find porn everywhere. However in the 90s you would have to wait 30 mins for one porn picture to download. And you should have seen the porn situation in ancient Babylon! You'd have to find it painted on a wall or a vase. Or just hear a story about it. Times were a lot tougher back then.
Random Thought #13: I always recite this little poem when I take my dead cell phone to an ecoATM to be recycled (and get some cash for it as well): "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, I throw my useless cell phone, into the earth's crust."
Doesn't that just bring a tear to your eye? #CellPhoneLivesMatter
Random Thought #14: I think the Flying Spaghetti Monster needs more recognition.
Accept his noodly appendages into your lives.
All hail The Flying Spaghetti Monster. 
Become a pastafarian here: http://www.venganza.org/
Basically The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster was made as a parody of the major world religions. It is meant to be as ridiculous as possible.
One funny fact though: you can become an ordained minister of the church now. I kind of want to become one just because.
Random Thought #15: I think that taking pictures of yourself while nude or half dressed is weird. I wouldn't do it. Some random hacker would blackmail me. Then I would have to blame Russia for the hack.
So there you have it. There are fifteen random thoughts I have had at one point or another in my life. I will be sharing more of the crazy inner workings of my mind soon. And be sure to share any random thoughts you have had in the comment section below. I would love to read them.
What demented thoughts lay within the dark reaches of Lyra's mind?
4381428 That sounds like an opening line to a movie trailer.
4381439 I was thinking the same thing mate!
4381607 A movie trailer for my life would definitely make it seem exciting. lol
*builds a cathedral to the spaghetti monster*
4381804 I like the way you think my friend.
4381938
Would you like to join?
4382314 Sure. XD
4382438
*gives you some zealot robes*
4382916 Hooray!
4382945
Now first zealot Lyra, I task you with spreading the word.
4384565 I shall indeed. All must know about The Flying Spaghetti Monster's noodly goodness.
4384826
Wondrous, I knew I picked the right woman for the job
4386021 I won't let you down.
4386161
For his noodly glory
4386669 Yess. We must all share the joy of his noodly goodness.
4386992
Together we will ascend to his saucy realm
4388455 Sounds like a plan.
4388651
Wonderful. First we spread our influence across FIM. Then to Facebook, then Twitter. Once they are ours, we make temple in the real world! *laughs maniacally*
4388883 I think there actually are Pastafarian churches out there. lol I'm not even joking.
4389230
Wow...just wow.
4391681 I know right? :P
4392325
The world is really weird
4394164 It is indeed.
4394765
Eeyup
4397864
4398035
I kinda agree with the emoji thing.
I saw that pictures somewhere else, I swear! Even my mother knows about the church.
And I like freaking people out sometimes, so maybe those messages would be fun.
And I have considering haunting myself, might be fun. Especially with my friends. We could do ghost parties.
#7 Well. I can't give up some meat easily so okay. I heard of those people too.
10. Maybe it is. If somebody claims that you did something you don't remember in your town, might be Susan.
Omg, 14. That church is in Poland! My home country! Maybe I will join, considering I see no reason why not.
4403172 I like the way you think my friend. It sounds like we have a lot in common. ;)
4403265 Maybe we do
4403285 Hurray!
We obviosly know all of Russia is resposible for computins. They would know how to work them. Adn I will gladly become a pastafarian. When I'm done capturing all the evil twins of my cousins.
4415569 Yesss. Join the Pastafarian religion. Become one of usss.
4415581 I will join. Soon as I compile all the twins that are in this universe. I've gotten 97% already.
4415604 Why are there so many twins? Are you talking about all of the alternate versions of yourself in every dimensions/ parallel universe? If that is the case, it might take you a while to collect them all.
4415621
no just my cousins' twins. I got most of them.
4416156 Why do you want to collect them all though? :o
4416166 To put them back where they came from.
4416360 Where did they come from?
4416771 Mostly parrael Universes where I ate different a different breakfast or Bought an xbox instead of a wii. Things like that.
4416798 Interesting. Well, I wish you good luck with your quest.
4417123 Thank you. And good luck in your endevours.
4417408 D'aww thank you very much. That means a lot to me.
4417418 You're welcome.
4417720