Don't Go in the House (1979) · 9:45am Jan 12th, 2017
You ever notice that when a year comes to an end there's this glut of people who will tell you it was the best or worst year ever. I mean they will literally sit there and get way too emotional about the previous year one way or another and stare at you with bloodshot eyes, smelling of patchouli and Old English and just go on about how they feel about whatever has happened that has led to this conclusion. I can tell you right now that 2016 was neither the best or worst year ever. It was just a year.
Now for worst years, because that's what people like to dwell on, I'd argue that it couldn't even crack the top ten. From 1346-1353 we had a little thing known as the black plague running rampant across Eurasia. 2016 doesn't come close to that. Throw in periods of time like the World Wars, Civil Wars, famines both man made and natural, and you tend to find out that there are a lot of years a lot more miserable than the one we just went through.
For the best years well, it wasn't that either. Typically best years are highly subjective. If you had a good year it was just that. Me, I had a pretty good year minus some issues with the house and various ailments. Even so it was a good year. Heck that year I discovered this clip:
On top of that I had various opportunities to act like a jackass and occasionally I wrote something. You have to appreciate the little things folks. They'll make or break you.
Speaking of broken people meet Donny Kohler. Now I know what you're thinking, sink guy. Well stop that. He's not a sink guy. He's not even really into water. But oh boy does he love fire and in Don't Go in the House also known as Pyromaniac we find out just how much.
This movie takes a bit more graphic approach to the lunatic with abusive mommy issues genre. At first he's content to watch one of his coworkers find the wrong end of a spray can in an incinerator before going home to his ailing mother who upon her unsurprising demise causes Donny to freak out like Kevin McCallister in Home Alone and play his music really loud and jump on the furniture. I guess even psychos can be kids at heart.
It isn't long though before he decides it's time to get into the human barbecue business. This movie was one of the famed UK Video Nasties, mostly due to one particular scene though a couple of others could have added to it. That said, the movie isn't half bad. It has some creative camera angles (the director really likes his Hitchcock) and Dan Grimaldi (most notable as Patsy Parisi on The Sopranos) is convincing for the most part as Donny. He comes off as awkward yet, calculating. He's a monster though how much was created and how much came from within is anybody's guess. Well, that is unless those voices he hears are... real?
Check it out and have a good 2017 folks!
Stats: 5 dead bodies, 4 breasts, multiple scenes of child abuse, co-worker flambe, flower lady flambe, corpse slapping, prerequisite jump scare dream sequence, voices in the head fu, flamethrower fu, creepy mannequin fu, gay clothing salesman fu, zombie fu.
Shout outs:
Dan Grimaldi as Donny Kohler the psycho who wants to burn the sin out of his victims.
Robert Osth as Bobby Tuttle who has a side thing going on and is looking for a hot time at the disco.
Joanna Brushay as Kathy Jordan who really should stick to the store policy of "We close at X time go away psycho boy!"
Ruth Dardick as Mrs. Kohler who reminds us that not everyone is fit to be a mother but, taught Donny everything he knows apparently.
For some reason it reminds me of the 1986 movie Manhunter and 1977 movie Sybil. Great review.
4380106 Manhunter... that the one with Brian Cox as Hannibal? Sybil... you know it's interesting but it seems like after Psycho was a big deal that whole, "Mother was bad to me so now I must kill/have a zillion personalities/be generally a nut," was kind of a thing for awhile there.
4383133 Lol true, and yes Brian Cox did and excellent Hannibal Lecture.