• Member Since 11th May, 2013
  • offline last seen Jun 9th, 2023

Harmony Charmer


♪ Kingdom of ships around me and it looks like I'm the queen ♫

More Blog Posts609

  • 259 weeks
    So I'm watching the premiere

    No, I haven't watched season 8. Yes, I am watching because Chrysalis, Tirek, and Sombra are back. Also, why was an eight year old in Tartarus, who made that decision?

    13 comments · 715 views
  • 306 weeks
    Making It Official

    I haven't been active on the site for over a year. I have occasionally checked in to see how everyone was doing, but I've barely gotten any writing done here. I know I left on a hiatus last year and said I might come back to the site one day, but that's looking less likely with every passing day.

    So, I'm making it official; I'm leaving.

    Read More

    24 comments · 1,275 views
  • 354 weeks
    Day Of Remembrance


    A candle lit in remembrance of those who lost their lives to the Pulse shooting in Orlando.

    Read More

    4 comments · 868 views
  • 358 weeks
    I cannot...


    I really didn't want to make this post...

    Read More

    22 comments · 1,481 views
  • 362 weeks
    Watched the premiere today!

    Read More

    4 comments · 732 views
Jan
1st
2017

Good Riddance, 2016 · 5:56am Jan 1st, 2017

So, here we are now, at the end of 2016, arguably a very tough year for a lot of people... We've had more celebrity deaths in this year than any other year that comes to my immediate recollection, more controversies and split opinions nationwide, and some rather intense debates in every single fandom I've come across.



Point I'm trying to make? I will not be missing 2016 anytime soon, and I can only hope that 2017 will be better.

If in this last hour that I have before 2016 ends anything else is to happen, I say bring it on, 2016. You killed off some of my favorite celebrities, divided the nation with the election, and threw me live killer clowns. Not even kidding, two guys were arrested on school grounds during October because they were dressed up as clowns.

I wanna be inspirational and say that I go into 2017 with an open heart and mind, but the only thing I'm carrying with me is a knife. 2016 just went and screwed us all up, then decided to leave like they just gave us a gift. If 2017 has any bullshit coming my way, I'm not gonna be unprepared for it.

Still... I don't wanna say that there weren't some good things from this year. I got good grades in my classes, I've paid off my Disney trip for Spring Break, and I've made some progress for my stories. I've made some new discoveries about myself and finally managed to get some concrete answers about who I am. I went to a psychological evaluation earlier on this year and I got the results a couple weeks back... For once in my life, I have, on paper, actual acknowledgement of my mental disorders. And it was so validating to finally have a professional tell me, "What you're experiencing is real and you've done so well to deal with all your problems on your own for all these years."

Not only that, I finally began to accept something else about myself... It's taken years and constant internal struggles to come to terms with it, but I can finally admit something about myself that I used to be scared to say even to myself...


To those of you who saw this coming, then that makes one of us, because I sure as hell didn't for a while.

So... It's been a bit of a ride, trying to figure that out about myself. For awhile, I just convinced myself that I wasn't interested in anybody and that I was probably asexual. I spent a good part of a year or two saying no to dates or laughing off sex or marriage as a possibility because it felt like none of those things applied to me... Then, one day, I realized something; I had a crush on a girl in my class. Like, hardcore crushing to the point where I could barely even form a sentence if she even looked in my direction.

My first thought was that I was intimidated by her, which was true, in a sense, but then when I brought it up to my best friend (who is bisexual), she looked me dead in the face and said, "...Dude. You have a crush." And it was at that moment that I realized that it wasn't that I wasn't interested in anybody; I just wasn't interested in guys. Realizing that it was fine for me to do that was really hard, though... I still haven't told anyone in my family and some members of my friend group don't know about it yet. Those who do know, however, knew long before I ever did.

Responses to me coming out to my friends:
"Dude, I knew you weren't ace. You talk about how pretty girls are too often."
"FOR GOD'S SAKE, AM I THE ONLY STRAIGHT PERSON IN THIS GROUP?"
"You wear a lot of rainbows, fam. You weren't fooling anybody."
"DUDE, YOUR FIRST THOUGHT WHEN YOU LISTENED TO LET IT GO WAS THAT IT WAS A METAPHOR FOR COMING OUT OF THE CLOSET, WHAT WERE YOU EXPECTING."
"Is this why you prefer female covers without changed pronouns, because if so, that explains a lot..."
"Took you long enough, good god."

And many more after that... Point I'm trying to make is, this year has been a wild one, politically, socially, and personally. Anything can change in the span of a year, things that you think will stay the same. I wanna thank all of you guys for sticking around through it all. I know this year was hard for some of you, too, and I want to give a shout out to everyone who had to trudge through this year alongside me...


...and a candle lit in remembrance of those who didn't make it.

Thank you guys for sticking with me, and I hope that you all stick with me for this next year. If you don't, I understand completely. As I finish typing this up, I am just minutes away from 2017... Let's hope this year is a good one.

Comments ( 6 )
Majin Syeekoh
Moderator

I'm glad you've discovered and accepted more of who you are.

I can tell you with more than a decade on you that that process never ends.

Buckle up, because it's going to be fun.:ajsmug:

Congrats on your self-discoveries! I can only be cautiously optimistic for 2017, but I too will just be pragmatic. I'm just glad I'm as advantaged as I am.

2016 was a ride on a worldwide scale. Though, not that I'm saying I liked it, it did provide some drama in my monotonous life.

And I can't help but feel that whatever happened then will trailblaze into the new year.

Still, I'll keep living my life the way I want, and not let the incoming BS (which I want to be nothing more than me being stupid and paranoid) in the new year stop me from doing it.

Also, congrats on finding yourself. For your mental health, good to hear that you've doing well with it. For your interests, fIrst step is the hardest. (I suddenly taste corn and cheese for some reason.) What you will do with these is up to you, to which I say good luck.

Happy New Year.

JMP

Well, congrats on figuring out your sexuality, and I hope coming out to people goes well for you.

Also

"FOR GOD'S SAKE, AM I THE ONLY STRAIGHT PERSON IN THIS GROUP?"

I can relate to that. Been in a few Skype calls where I've been the only straight person in the entire call.

Here's to whatever hope we can scavenge for 2017.

Well, I am glad you have accepted who you are. It took one of my friends his dad getting locked in jail to realize it, so I a happy nothing like that happened to you.

You should have put this:

:rainbowlaugh:

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