Review #26 - A World Without a Rainboom, Beneath The Sun's Surface, 1000 Years · 2:07am Dec 27th, 2016

Today I have three, three vonderful stories, ah ah ah:

A World Without a Rainboom by Mocha Star
Beneath The Sun's Surface (M) by CoffeeBean
1000 Years by tommal

A World Without a Rainboom by Mocha Star
(Adventure, Alternate Universe, Dark)
Rainbow Dash never did the sonic rainboom and everything is vastly different for the mane 6. The world we know never happened and all of the mares have gone on to live their own lives, will they reunite when Nightmare Moon returns, or will they have their own lives to worry about? This is a darker twist on the realm as war and Nightmare Moon go hoof in hoof. Dark tag for a couple scenes, not the story overall.

Review
Rainbow Dash loses the race. Fluttershy almost dies because of it, and Rainbow goes off to be a hermit. Twilight failed the entrance exam and now works many jobs. Rarity works on the Rock Farm. Applejack is an actress. NMM returns and takes over. Everything starts freezing, and dying because the sun is gone. Shining Armor begins a rebellion. The rebellion makes the Castle of the Two Sisters their stronghold, and find the Elements of Harmony smashed. The shards of the Elements get spilled onto a pony (not saying whom to protect what plot hasn't already been spoiled), who then accidentally spreads it onto others. They all go and defeat NMM (not saying how so as to not ruin the ending).

This one can feel a little bit long at certain times, but otherwise, it has excellent pacing. It has few errors within the text, which seems to be one of Mocha Star's wondrous abilities. It also feels planned out enough to be worth reading, but not quite up to amazingly great read. The tags also fit well.

Score: 7.5/10 Recommendation: Worth Reading.

Personal Thoughts: To be perfectly honest, this is not the best story I have read... however, it is worth reading. NOTE: This is NOT the best Mocha Star has to offer, and I would highly recommend reading some of his other stories.

Beneath The Sun's Surface by CoffeeBean
Rated M
(Gore, Dark, Drama, Sad)

NOTICE: This story includes gore. I have included markers on the parts where this is present for those who wish to skip, as the scenes that include those elements are not plot-crucial. Try to not let the gore tag draw you away.

En Route to Stalliongrad's capital city for peace talks between Griffonstone and Stalliongrad, Celestia's flight is supposedly downed by a blizzard; she and the two pilots do not survive. Princess Luna is thrown to the reigns of the nation while trying to deal with her grief, and Twilight Sparkle, who is extremely suspect of the incident, spends most of her time researching the incident, as she feels something larger is at play.

Review
Celestia's helicopter get shot down by a group that kidnaps her, blames the crash on a storm they conjured, and then start to torture Celestia with the intention to use her as a vessel to bring NMM back. Luna starts leading in her stead but does not possess the ability to raise the sun. Twilight starts looking into the crash and discovers that it was not an accident. Celestia escapes her captors. Twilight and Luna begin to look for her after a pony from the mysterious group joins Luna. Celestia fights off a great many ponies from the mysterious group. After the battle, she goes back home with Luna who got there a few minutes too late to help. (There is a whole lot more to this story; the outline I have is the extremely condensed version, so as to not hit you with a wall of text).

This one has really great pacing actually, especially for 130k words. It has few errors within the text, which is very typical of CoffeeBean. It also seems rather planned out, except for one-or-two places where there are either plot holes or plot shortcuts. The tags it has fit very well, though I might recommend having an "Alternate Universe" in there.

Score: 8/10 Recommendation: Recommended.

Personal Thoughts: This is a very good story, and it is oh-so-nice that there are markers for the gore.

1000 Years by tommal
(Slice of Life)
Luna has been sent to the moon for 1000 years by her sister, Princess Celestia. Let's just say that she could be coping better. She will have to battle with obstacles like her own untamed rage, her missing alicorn magic, the weight of her own failure, and possibly the vilest thing to ever grace ponykind: Eternal Boredom. Seriously. She could have at least left her a Game boy or something.

Review
Pretty much the diaries of Luna on the moon. That is as much outline as I can give...

This one, in its shortness, has extremely good pacing, which is quite surprising. It has very few errors inside it. It also feels quite planned out, but it kinda had to be to be a diary fic. The tag works out alright, though perhaps a "Drama" would be good too.

Score: 9/10 Recommendation: Recommended

Personal Thoughts: Diary fics are, in my opinion, the second hardest to write. If you don't believe me, try it for yourself.