Plog Blug and Prifting Drogress · 4:01pm Dec 14th, 2016
Did you have to think in order to figure out the Spoonerism? Good. Then you’ll be ready for Bad Horse’s Fimfiction Survey. And as a reward once you are done, I’ve included a little humorous snippet out of the sequel to The One Who Got Away.
Please fill out the survey and express your opinions, mostly about fandom, fan-fiction, & other fiction. There's one monster question about 3/4 of the way through. All questions & all parts of all questions are optional. Please try not to take it twice; copy or PM or email yourself the link it gives you at the end if you want to change your answers later. There’s a method to his madness, but don’t ask until we’re done. Bad Horse will post a blog explaining it all later (so you should follow him as not to miss it)
Remember, fill out the survey before you read this next snippet from Drifting Down the Lazy River, or bad things just might happen. Just saying. You’ve been warned.
- - ☸ - -
Luna might possibly have been exaggerating when she said how many portraits of Celestia there were in their castle, but not by much. Although they were spaced out with lots of empty wall around each one of them to accommodate a crowd of interested onlookers, the long corridors of the castle seemed to have hundreds of Celestias watching their slow educational path. The tour was supposedly for Turpentine’s benefit, but he found the lessons learned went far better if he remained almost silent and watched the back-and-forth between Celestia and Caractère. It was almost a contest where the old pegasus attempted to break down Celestia’s cool walls of self-restraint while the Princess of the Sun danced around his verbal jabs with all the skill of a barn swallow skimming across a grassy field and snagging airborne bugs. Still, while he sketched little snippets during their visits to individual paintings, his natural curiosity forced him to ask questions of the both of them in the middle of their odd verbal dance, even when the answers were totally unexpected.
“So the Canterlot castle has a name.” Turpentine thought about the revelation for a moment before asking the inevitable. “What is it?”
Princess Celestia looked strangely reluctant. “Yes, it’s rather silly, which is why I’ve discouraged its use over the—”
“The Heavenly Abode,” said Caractère.
That earned him a long flat glare from Celestia and a deliberate, “It was a far better choice than ‘The Nest of Heaven’ which certain members of the nobility seemed set upon during its construction.”
Now it was Caractère’s turn to nod knowingly. “That seems to have been a low bar to clear.”
“Nest?” asked Turpentine with his head cocked to one side.
Celestia blushed and nudged the little colt down the hallway toward the next portrait. “On account of several of the more poetic artists centuries ago referring to me as the… No, you don’t need to—”
“The Swan of Dawn,” said Caractère with an absolutely straight face.
“How many years do you have left on your parole?” asked Celestia.
“Fifty-three, Your Highness.”
Whatever retort Celestia was going to use in response was lost when a coil of smoke traced down from above, curled around her horn, and appeared with a sharp popping noise as a rolled-up scroll. She caught the message in her magic and held it to her side while giving a short bow to her guests.
“I’m sorry, but it seems Princess Twilight Sparkle has a concern. I was afraid things were going too smoothly today.” She let out a brief huff of frustration. “I had better go see what emergency has popped up that requires my presence. I'll leave the rest of the tour in your able hooves, Caractère.”
The old pegasus bowed. “On both of our behalfs, thank you, Your Highness.”
Turpentine stood by Caractère and watched her stride down the corridor toward a prepared servant peeking around the corner. Her movements were smooth and unhurried despite the interruption, placing each hoof with impeccable grace. He had never really understood that phrase before, but the way Celestia made each step and motion into a dance of sorts made it obvious that it had been created by somepony just like him many years ago who watched the Princess of the Sun walking just as she was walking now.
“Equestria’s largest rooster.” Caractère shook his head. “Ruler of the roost and undeniably above all who she surveys. All that is missing is for her to crow while raising the sun.”
“No.” Turpentine squinted a little to watch Celestia talking with the servant at the other end of the corridor. “I see… a little filly, like Ri— Like my friend, who has bent her neck to lift a heavy burden nopony else could, and has been stuck there ever since.”
“Right,” said Caractère. “A little filly who plays ball with the sun and moon.”
“It’s why she took time off from her schedule to be with us this morning.” Turpentine stood for a while, sketching the way the beams of light from the window played across Celestia and the distant mustached servant with little flecks of dust dancing around the two of them. “She’s trapped. She can never go back to being that little filly again, but she can spend time with us and live out her lost dreams in our lives.”
Caractère took a deep breath. “Thanks. Now I’ve got guilt. I should go apologize for that ‘Swan of Dawn’ comment.”
“No, I think she liked it,” said Turpentine from around the pencil in his teeth. “The muscles in her cheek tensed up to keep her from smiling. The whole castle is full of ponies who have her up on an untouchable pedestal, just like those statues we saw.”
“And all she wants to do is run around in the grass and play.” Caractère looked down the hallway full of portraits. “I think we’re done here. How would you like to go out and walk in the garden?”
Little Turpentine sounds a lot more mature than I was expecting. How old is he again?
Done. You'll find me as the one who made the quip on freedom of choice vs religion at the end of the survey.
Did it this morning, including a comment on how fun and art shouldn't be mutually exclusive.
As for the snippet, very nice bit of character work for everyone involved. Even if "The Swan of Dawn" sounds like something the emcee would say at the start of a boxing match.
4339460 Yeah, I need to throttle his language grade level down a little. More 'stuff' and less descriptive descriptions. He's eleven, going on twelve, but he's very... um... intense. Then again, he's an artist, and they're a little bit of an odd duck, and he's a monomaniacal little duckling.
* * *
Turpentine did not mind. He was drawing, and the rest of the world did not matter.
He was vaguely aware when another pony slipped into the room, but he was just finishing a tricky curve at the corner of the nurse’s eye and trying to get the shading just right when the soft voice from before spoke just to one side of his face.
“That is a wonderful drawing, Young Turpentine.”
Turpentine looked up from his sketchbook and his heart stopped. Almost within nuzzling distance, the darkness of the star-strewn night flowed over Princess Luna’s crown, coiling down her neck in little whorls and streams sparkling with the glittering gems of tiny stars that almost matched exactly with the glitters of mischief he could see in her pale teal eyes. The smallest of smiles touched the corners of her narrow lips and brought the shadows over her tall cheekbones into a perfect contrast. The grace and beauty of the young batpony nurse suddenly looked crude and awkward by comparison, and Turpentine fumbled with his sketchpad to turn a page while lamenting his current state of un-wellness, as well as a lack of the specific tint of Luna’s eyeshadow in his painting supplies.
“You’re beautiful,” he blurted out. “Can I draw you?”
Didn't read the snippet, I don't want to spoil anything.
Thanks for relaying that survey. I don't know what purpose it will serve to but I'm curious to see about it in the following days.
That was pretty. Now I really want you to write the idea of Celestia finally getting to go on that grassy field romp for as long as she wants, pomp and pride be damned. Doooo it!
Also yay survey! Hit it last night!