Blind Filly Sequel First Chapter Draft?

http://www.fimfiction.net/chapter/1027599
password = Horseshoe

Rough draft, not even a single 1k yet. Quick question to you, the readers.

Does what I have so far embody the ramblings from a little girl? It's not too far disconnected that it only feels like someone intentionally writing the part and trying to make you clumsily believe it, I guess is what I'm trying to avoid.

Also, her name. I initially thought that 'acacia' was the word 'blind' in another language, but apparently I had a major brain fart when I was searching that. Just, like an entire countries worth of beer level of drunk or something, because as far as I can figure 'acacia' is the name of a blind 'manufacturer'. Like, curtains. Blinds. Stuff you put over your windows to block out light.

So that in itself might come across as cute, but I specifically was aiming for a word that meant blind, but also kinda sounded pretty.

Keeping in the vein of the family name ending in shot, I added in the middle name of 'trick' because it sounded clever to me. Anyone got any better ideas in regard to the currently still 'unnamed' (still on the fence, anyway) filly?

Note that I'm not going to just call her 'Blind'. I don't want it to be that on the nose.

In fact, pretty much all the names are on the table, except the parents. Theirs being Straight Shot and Persimmon Shot

Comments

[_Kenzu_]

I just read it :3
It dosent look like too much right now but a nice set up I cant wait till its ready to be out, loved the first story and it totally needs a sequel
good luck!

Anywho, with your naming problem, I dug up a little baby name sight for words that mean blind.
http://www.baby-names-meanings.net/names-that-mean/blind.html