Social Networks · 5:49pm Nov 23rd, 2016
Twitter
I don't use Twitter because I'm not interested in the minutiae of other people's lives, and fail to see why they should be interested in those of mine. I also don't particularly like the idea of my opinions being filtered in case I convince someone that 'hate-crime' is a silly thing to prosecute for, or somesuch. Furthermore, I'm not a twit.
Facebook
I don't use Facebook because I like to maintain some modicum of privacy. On top of that, the site's layout makes my brain explode on impact. And it don't look like no kinda book to me (grammar).
Tumblr
I don't use Tumblr because I am a middle-class white man who dares to think that people should be allowed to keep most of the money they earn. Besides, I hate Tumbling.
Pinterest
I don't use Pinterest because I hate portmanteau words. At least Lewis Carroll used them as a joke. Having said that, I do like pins.
Reddit
I don't use Reddit because I don't know what it does, and can't really be bothered to find out. It seems to be based on the assumption that I want to see what other people want to see, which is a bad start. What's black and white and red all over? Answer: the population of South Africa on World Ketchup-Slinging Day.
Myspace
I don't use Myspace because neither does anyone else, these days. Which, come to think of it, might be a point in its favour. Does it still exist? Actually, don't tell me, I don't care. I already have My Space. It's called my room. I don't need a webpage to extend it by a few bytes.
Skype
I don't use... wait, yes I do. Moving on...
Snapchat
I don't use Snapchat because I can't think of anyone I wouldn't rather just talk to, even if it means waiting. And I already snap when I chat.
Instagram
Again, not entirely clear on what this one does, and not overly keen to find out. Presumably it's 'Insta' as in 'instant' and 'gram' as in... I dunno, chickpea? Don't answer that, I don't care.
Are there any I missed out? Good. Don't tell me about them. I don't want to know.
I don't use any of those things.
Well, I had Skype. But really it's just been falling apart lately and most people I talk to are either on Steam or Discord. (I've also heard people can use Skype to hack your computer - but my mom's not a reliable source)
4314677 There's a good chap! I only use Skype to talk to my brother. I don't entirely trust it, to be honest.
4314681
A lot of people don't. It's banned on some college campuses.
4314686 Blimey! Not mine. My university is very permissive, when it comes to internet use.
4314690
Same. I'm lucky enough to be at the internet capital of the country. We get the (probably still slower than America's internet) best.
Banning of Skype is something I heard from a friend.
4314703 I've got internet which is fast for the North of England, but not for any other first-world country. Not that I mind much. Some people whinge about it, but I'm not too bothered.
4314703
Where physically even IS the machine that is the Internet's physical form?
4314869 On top of Big Ben, where the signal's strongest.
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4314869 4314894
Mister Scones has the right idea.
The guild of the illuminet has many offices, however the biggest and most well known is atop Big Ben (check page 13 of the tourist's pamphlet - or side three of your complementary video cassette - for more details)