Personal pet peeves when it comes to erotica · 1:32pm Nov 18th, 2016
With the possible exception of comedy, erotica is hands-down the hardest genre of writing to get right. One slip, and your perfectly crafted sex scene immediately goes tits up. As a connoisseur of fanfic, I've read many a terrible sex scene or erotic fic in my time, and have compiled a short list of the things that I personally cannot stand to see in any form of erotic prose.
IKEA Erotica
So called because it's about as stimulating as reading the instructions for an IKEA furniture set. Your sex scene will need a lot more than "his thing went in her thing" if you want to keep me invested.
Purple prose
Overcompensating, however, is just as bad. After reading so many flowery pieces of erotic fics, I simply cannot take lines like "ramrod-straight length of thick, pulsing manhood" seriously anymore. All it's good for is laughing at.
Going straight to the sex
I'm the kind of guy who likes his porn to have some buildup. Don't just go straight to the banging -- gimme some character development and stuff first.
"I have needs!"
This is a very personal quibble of mine, but I find it irritating when sex is treated like something a character needs, i.e. cannot go without. When it's used as an explanation for cheating or other immoral behaviour ("I know sleeping with somepony else is wrong, but I was just so horny!"), I find it downright reprehensible.
Any thoughts?
4307519 I know, I don't like that, either. What I like is stuff like small talk, shooting the breeze a bit, maybe some light petting... that kind of thing.
Huh, a rather interesting perspective look at it.