Lizardman Reviews #12: Penultimate Hunt

As the title suggests, this is the second to last review blog I'll be doing. I never had any intention of doing this indefinitely, just as a fun little side activity for a while. Still, I've gone on a bit longer than some other users have, so I'd say I've done my fair share.

Today's RNG Picks: 2, 3, 7

How To (Not) Ponynap a (Giant) Princess by Dr Atlas

The changelings thought that, if they could take the pink princess once, they could do it again.
They soon find out it's a bigger challenge then last time.
Way bigger...

Before reading: For a guy clearly in love with Ed Edd n Eddy (awesome taste, dude), I'm surprised he's only written one, single, solitary crossover fic with that show. Dude seems much more obsessed with changelings, honestly. I've read a few of his works, and while I wouldn't call them outstanding in any regard, they're worth reading. I'm going into this one with 'meh' expectations, but let's see if he can really wow me.

While reading: We start off with Anon-a-Private and Commander McNameless chatting, wherein we learn that Cadence and Shining probably have the worse pick of the guard litter than the royal sisters.

They hear something, Commander dude leaves to investigate, the author makes a few tense/punctuation errors, Captain Armor arrives who's clearly a changeling imposter and tricks Private into leaving.

Not all too hard so far, but let's see how that changes further on.

It's a little off=putting to see changelings with human names when it's been established that they're named after insect stuff, but eh, whatever. And a bit of advice to the author; there's a limit to how funny stating something that's actually true without the character knowing it is can be, and this kinda crosses the line. Just a little.

Quickly our buggy protagonists learn of Cadence's recent apparent growth spurt, and now their mission's become ten times more complicated. But given the lack of an Alt Universe tag, they've gotta figure it out somehow, which would be an interesting character turnaround given how similarly incompetent they seem to be to the guards from before.

What follows are kinda stock but still amusing shenanigans before they manage to return Cadence to normal size by ripping a sock off of her. Apparently this interpretation of Cadence has a fetish for being gigantic, and so enchanted her socks for that reason. Not that this surprises me, because, you know, Fimfiction.

After reading: Like I thought, this fic was just okayish. Not hilarious, not mediocre, just average all around. The jokes are pretty stock, like I said before, and really, the only thing that makes this fic interesting is the fact that we get to see how Cadence was captured in the S6 finale, while approaching it from a humorous angle. If only that humorous angle was a little more creative, I would've really had glowing praise for it. As it is, it's worth a read, but don't really expect to bust a gut laughing.

The Masks We Wear by kudzuhaiku

Flicker Nicker, having acquired his cutie mark, takes the first step of many into adulthood. Along with his mother, he travels to Canterlot, where he will join with the Rat Catcher's Guild.

There, he will don the mask of his calling, and he shall become the pony that he was meant to be.

Before reading: So we have a kudzuhaiku fic. That's entirely OC-centric. And is part of a verse. I'm honestly not sure what to think of this, given that I've read so little of kudzu's works. The fact that it's OC-centric and is part of a verse leads me to believe I might not understand what's going on while reading, but the fact that it's short will, at the very least, in case I get lost, mean that I don't get bored reading it for so long.

While reading: I don't know how to describe the writing quality here... dry, maybe? It's not especially engaging or paced well. A lot of it just feels like exposition dumps that read well enough to not be lazy, but isn't doing its job of getting me engrossed in the world of this fic. It's kinda in the middle, is what I'm saying. Since this is a short fic, I'm sure I'll be able to read it through to the end well enough, like I said above.

Flicker Nicker and his mom are on the train bound for Canterlot. We learn that the bubonic plague exists in Equestria, and that the Rat Catcher's Guild which Flicker Nicker is gonna join is responsible for protecting Equestria from this threat. Interesting stuff, I'll give it that. Now I can understand how this fic might fit into a verse.

I really like the interaction of Flick and his mom. The narrative is tapping into common themes; being afraid to part with one's parents, the eventuality of growing up and how that changes one's view of the world, etc. The story's tapping into these things in a way that helps the fic recover from the substandard writing quality, and heightens my interest to read onward.

Next scene is basically Flick overcoming his anxiety about leaving his mother. Very suddenly, too, and quite underdeveloped. Such a drastic change in outlook ought to be fleshed out a bit more with more time and words. Just sayin'.

Next scene sees him finding the Rat Catcher Guild's HQ. And... that's about it.

The final scene is more meaty than the preceding two. Flick meets his new master, Mister Chandler, he's inducted into the Guild, and he says goodbye to his mother. It's sweet and heartwarming, but still a little lacking in substance.

After reading: I think the biggest issue with this fic is that it's too short and underdeveloped. The lackluster writing plays a part, but that's something I could probably have overlooked more if the story did more to pique my curiosity or touch on more heartstrings. As I said above, half the scenes don't add any real substance to the story and are just there to keep the plot rolling. Coming-of-age stories like this really work best when you get to know the character at each crucial stage of his childhood, and you see the progression of an uncertain child without much thought about where to go in life, to a confident grown adult with a clear plan on what they'll devote their life towards. As it stands, I can't really recommend this story to anyone who's looking for a really good character showcase, but if you're interested in learning more about bubonic plague infested Equestria, I'm sure you'll be interested to learn more about this verse.

Mature fics from this point onward!

Cam Girl by SweetCelestiaWhy

After Sunset found out about Rarity's deep dark secret, she made the mistake of joining the dating app Scissr. What she didn't know is the app has a fun little feature.

It's called 'Tagged'.

Contains: Your regularly scheduled programming.

Before reading:

While reading: I can totally relate to Sunset Shimmer in the beginning of this, with her nodding off asleep in math class. I'm gonna hit the brakes on the review and tell you a little personal story; when I was in high school, I would often use my backpack as a makeshift pillow and lie on the floor next to my desk in some classes, and the teacher/s never gave a shit because they sucked at their jobs. I hated school, in case it's not obvious.

School ends and Sunset returns home, whereupon she begins browsing the risque pictures of Rarity from this fic's prequel, which eventually, through tech stuff that I'm clueless to recount because I'm the lamest geek to ever live, comes across a video of both Pinkie and Rarity engaging in a crossover lesbo cam vid.

She watches it. The end.

After reading: I don't care for these types of stories. You'll know if you yourself do, so be my guest if this tickles your dick fancy.

And that's it for this second-to-last round of Lizardman Reviews. I'm gonna try to do something special for the last one next week, so stay tuned for what will hopefully be an epic final hunt!