I have a confession to make... · 2:29am Nov 4th, 2016
This is gonna be kinda doomy and gloomy, so let me just start by preempting the 'omg you're quitting the fandom?!' thoughts you might be having.
No. I'm not leaving.
Y'all have noticed I haven't posted anything in quite a while and even before that, I was really, really shitty about updating stories.
Well, I became part of 'Someone's PC' on patreon about six months ago. I'm not going to link it because it contains adult stuff relating to that other big r34 show.
And here's my confession. Someone's PC works on the monthly payment thing. Not 'by product', not whenever we update. Every. Single. Month. My own patreon is (was, more on that in a second) set up for every story. So I could go silent for six months and not be taking money for those six months and making myself feel wretched.
I can't do that with Someone's PC, because I'm part of a group of six. My 'content roll' only comes about once every three/four months, but every time I thought about writing something, every time I felt like writing something, I kinda felt obliged for it to be a new chapter of the story I'm writing for that group.
So if I felt like belting out a new chapter of Affliction, I'd stop, and think to myself that I really should be doing the Someone's PC stuff, because it has a due date. How can I justify working on a 'for fun' project when there's something with a due date on it that I'm being paid to do, every month?
But I am a 'mood' writer, mostly. I write what I'm in the mood to write. That's why my stories are so goddamn eccentric in their update dates. But I wasn't in the mood to write stuff for that other r34 show, so I just... wouldn't write anything.
That's why, in the past six months or so, since I started doing this other patreon stuff, I haven't really written anything except for that. That is my confession. My own guilty conscience and lack of being able to force myself to write at will has just screwed everything.
I'm also killing off my other patreon. I haven't posted anything there for a YEAR, and I wouldn't feel comfortable making any new posts to people who wouldn't be expecting the post (and more importantly the charges, euch).
I can't promise that things will improve, since I am only humanpegasus, but I can promise that I will try. I'm going to try to write more pony, and finish off all those things I left hanging.
And just for clarification, I enjoy writing for Someone's PC. I enjoy the story I'm making for them. The only thing I don't enjoy about it is that it has taken away from writing pony, and you all deserve more than just another writer or artist that cuts and runs for another fandom at the drop of a hat.
I refuse to be that writer.
So, I hope you can at least understand on some level why there was that huge peganon hiatus.
Keep being awesome <3
No problem man take your time write when you feel like it and until then i patiently look forward to the next chapter of Affliction.
You are one of two writers who inspired me to write, insect, and your Affliction of the Heart stories will always rank among my absolute favorites. Love you, and I give you my humblest thanks for being such a nice guy to us, your followers, mortal.
Then keep being one of the best authors of stories I love reading. (Affliction of the Heart <---- This is not just a story, it is a world)
Until next time.
This is another example of why I've despised Patreon for so long.
Due dates ruin everything. Due dates are why we can't have nice things.
ahem Aaaaanyway. I know how you feel. Same thing happens to me with writing code. It's not that I lose interest in my own coding projects, or even necessarily an outright lack of time, it's that I always feel like I should be working on the projects that make me money first, and... I can't seem to get to second. So instead I stare at fimfiction or something. Whoops.
Oddly, now I'm conflicted about throwing money at SPC. Maybe if I throw more money at you for pony chapters on a deadline?
4284315 It's not really a problem endemic to patreon. More it's a problem endemic to paid versus 'spare time' projects. Paid projects will always come first, unfortunately.
4284383 This may be true but it still applies.
I've always held the opinion that turning fun stuff into work stuff just makes it into work stuff. It's one of those things that sounds like a neat idea at first, doing what you love as a job, but one of the things about stuff you do for fun that makes it appealing is you can do it whenever you want and as much or as little as you want. Jobs would probably be a lot more fun if the same applied to them.
This is why my job and my hobbies aren't the same thing. I find the variety to be a nice thing. Less burn out.
Sort of like getting served cake for every meal otherwise. You might love cake, but eventually you're going to want something else and say, "Ugh, no more cake!"
It's fine. You just should of told us sooner so we could of stopped making contingency plans.
Its ok dood/doodet, just keep doing what you love to do. We'll support you no matter what. You created to many great stories for this fandom to deserve nothing less.
4284415
This guy gets it.
Do what makes you happiest, whatever that may be. But most of all try not to turn fun things into chores, as that's the fastest route to making them not fun.
Lots of hugs, a fan of Ingress and Affliction.
I am not going to say this is good or bade but I will simply ask a question.
are you happy?
and do you feel good about your decision?
Buddy, I've known you ever since you went by the name Miralage on SoFurry, so there's no beef between us. Whatever you write, whenever you write is sure to be pretty damn good, so keep at it.
Art on a deadline doesn't have as much passion or quality, so if you don't feel like working on pony that's fine. I haven't made any PMV in about a year cause I just haven't felt any passion for it in a long time. Instead, I've been working on a lovebug story for that time (you and a few others inspired me). So if you don't want to work on pony, then don't. Every reasonable person will understand.
i'm glad you confessed, it help us to understand what happend behin the scene, and more importantly if it can release you from any pain :)
hope you'll find a way to keep moving forward no matter your decisions : YOU, keep being awesome and you prove it by talking with us again.
a fan.
does it help to say that i really enjoy your work on someones pc?
i like how you're the only one who stories are like a consistent story. it not only makes you unique, but also helps you connect with the main character more, since its like you've been with them for longer.
i know you'll keep up the good work, whatever you do.
we'll all be here to support you.
4316491 You'll be pleased soon, then
I have two new chapters basically ready to be written out! One is a commission, so I can release it basically immediately to the public once I get around to writing it :3
Been here since the early days of the first chapters of AAotH and I'll be staying as long as I live.
I'm not even in the fandom much anymore. I just absolutely love the stories you write.
I don't care at all about the hiatuses nor waiting for the stories that made me love this Fandom.
So as long as there's a tiny, miniscule chance that you'll be back to make more content, I'll be following you every step of the way.
Stay the absolute legend you have been, Anony~
AP - As someone that enjoys your stories, especially the "Ingress"-verse ones; I am content to wait for when the pendulum swings back and you are able to work on stuff you do for fun and enjoyment, rather than for the pay-day and the enjoyment.
As I am going to school for Digital/Graphic Design, when I really am just using it to perfect my talents with some of the Adobe Creative Suite so that I can more readily begin using my artistic talents as more than just pencil sketches and line-art. The bonus of learning more about the other programs - Premier Pro, InDesign (love this more than MSWord now), Audition, and even the Creative Cloud-only Muse for web design ... yeah, I just settled into the reality of having to spend probably close to $1k US for an old copy of Adobe CS6 to I can just pay for what I want on that is Cloud-only (that being JUST Muse, honestly).
That aside. I am using schooling not just to learn what I want for my own recreation, but polishing skills I already had with new software (going from Word to InDesign as an example), and learning skills that will land me a decent job and probably make sure I can pay back what I now owe for schooling.
Gotta tell ya it sounds like you've substituted one problematic job with something even worse. Before you were feeling down you were on patreon not posting your personal writing for six months now you can't do your personal writing you were doing before because you feel obliged to do the job for someone else.
Try looking at it like a physical job of cutting lawns. You delay cutting the lawn of your home because you don't feel like it at the time but the other side of it is you have trouble cutting your lawn when you want to because you've got a job cutting other peoples lawns. Sound odd.
And another thing, do you want to write or have written more personal writing now you have the job?
Oh and where do someones PC post anyway? PM me if needed. It sounds interesting.
4416248 patreon.com/someonespc! :Twilightsmile: