Fic recs, October 1st · 2:00pm Oct 1st, 2016
ShadowOfCygnus has done a reading of Super Trampoline's White Space! Scribbler, along with a sizeable cast, have done a reading of Fighting Scars! (Sadly, the story itself seems to have been removed from Fimfiction since I reviewed it. :/)
If you want to see my thoughts on Kamen Rider W, go here. And if you want to see my thoughts on an even older show, I reviewed Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann here.
If you're familiar with anime tropes, do yourself a favor and listen to this, it's hilarious. :D
I finally finished that short audiobook, so that'll kick us off today, along with a few other one-shot readings. I've also got some editions planned, so expect those, and of course, later today, both an episode review (which will be later than usual) and a review of the movie! Busy, busy, busy!
H: 2 R: 0 C: 3 V: 0 N: 0
A Night at Shadow Station by MrNelg
Reading (part 1) by Thornquill
Genre: Horror
After a long train ride, Fluttershy finds herself in an abandoned train station, filled with horrific beings ready to test her spirits.
The hardest stories to review aren't the ones that are consistently terrible or great, but those which succeed and fail in equal measure. This piece has an awful lot of good, creepy stuff to offer the horror fan, but at the same time often stumbles over itself in the name of achieving its goal. I mentally compared it to Silent Ponyville, albeit done right, which is to say it takes one of the show cast and plops her into a nightmarish realm of horrors, without reading like a video game walkthrough. And the particular horrors Fluttershy encounters are pretty great. You've got masked ponies in paintings, things that can only be seen in a mirror; even the horror-standard creepy filly twins are used well. There's a solid backstory to the setting told through notes and newspaper clippings, and through it all, Fluttershy tries her damnedest to remain the kind, understanding pony she knows herself to be. In fact, she's extremely resourceful and capable on her own, and this is explicitly linked to her time adventuring with Twilight and company; I really appreciated that.
Where it goes wrong is in a lot of places. The writing is hideously over-detailed, and I could never get a clear idea of what the POV was meant to be, since we're often given lots of technical facts about things like architecture, generators, clocks and how trains run that I didn't think Fluttershy herself was likely to know. Worse, the author places zero trust in their reader, continually explaining every little nuance of why Fluttershy is doing what she does. I described it as "desperation of precision", as though leaving out any detail would cause the reader to be lost (when quite the opposite happened to me, and I found some scenes impossible to wade through). It got some points with me for making an early divergent flashback end up giving her a useful piece of information later, but the pacing was awfully slow. There are constant flashbacks, and that litany of details and explaining of minutiae drags scenes on and on, again and again. There's a fine line between "building tension" and "dragging things out", and this story always crosses it when given a chance.
I also learned a very clear lesson in horror-making: the unfamiliar truly is what's scariest. All the original monsters were greatly creepy, because I had no idea what they were going to do, even the creepy fillies. (The "don't go in the bathroom" mantra was a great way to build suspense, and also really paid off once Fluttershy did.) But once she gets into the basement and the big reveal comes, well, I was disappointed. It makes reference to the Nightmarity arc of the comics, meaning everything ends up being more or less just Nightmare Moon's fault. And once that familiar element was introduced to the story, the horror dries up. There are immediate attempts afterward at psychological and body horror, but they fell flat. It may be because I wasn't following everything well (and can you blame me, with so many details to take in?), but I expected a "malevolent ghost of someone who died trying to take revenge on the living" scenario, and instead got something considerably less imaginative, to say nothing of being far less interesting.
Other criticisms include the poem at the start, which is pretty poorly constructed and isn't believable as a nursery rhyme; a long scene dealing with pee; Fluttershy directly referring to herself as the Element of Kindness, though I should probably stop being peeved by that; and lots and lots of poorly-considered word choices ("it appeared to her ears" is but the tip of this iceberg; use of the phrase "diddly-squat" at precisely the wrong time imparted loads of humor in an otherwise tense scene). Is it a bad story? Honestly, no. If you want to creep yourself out, you'll find a lot in here to like, especially if you're a "journey over destination" kind of person. I'll admit to being a little put out that there wasn't more denouement — I wanted to know if anyone noticed her absence in the time she was gone — but at the very least, I listened to the whole thing. And it wasn't all a dream!
Recommended for Horror Fans
You Turn Me On by Vengeful Spirit
Reading by Scarlett Blade
Genre: Random Comedy
Having broken her wing yet again, Rainbow Dash ends up in a hospital room, with no companion but a table lamp.
So the main draw is, of course, Rainbow being hit on by a lamp that can talk, of all things. This, of course, comes with a heaping helping of (honestly funny) word play. I was a bit turned off by how sanctimonious the doctor is in the first scene, but I figure that's meant to be a House homage, so it at least makes sense. In the end, just a short, goofy piece, but that wordplay, yeah.
Recommended for Laughs
When You Fall by theworstwriter
Reading by Scribbler, et. al.
Genre: Tragedy
Rainbow Dash finds an obstacle to her relationship with her adoptive little sister: Scootaloo's father.
This is a very old story that hinges on a perfectly-executed twist. The first few scenes seem like standard Scootalove, as Rainbow tries to help her take care of a head wound after a flight practice accident. Then we meet Scoot's dad, and things take a surprising turn for the dramatic. But where the story seems to be going in one direction the whole time, the reveal in the final scene recasts everything in a new light. The reveal is flawless, not too overt, with strong fridge horror and just a fantastic twist to make everything snap into focus. (Plus, tragic Scootaloo is always funny. ;D)
Highly Recommended
The Day of the Million Billion Octavias by Horse Voice
Reading by Scarlett Blade
Reading by ShadowOfCygnus
Genre: Random Comedy
Held for ransom, Octavia resorts to a desperate and stupid plan to escape her kidnappers.
Horse Voice is not a name that goes hand-in-hand with random comedy; thus, I was extremely excited to read this piece. I was not disappointed. It's one of those comedies where the entire situation maintains a certain baseline hum of amusement, while the ongoing, and ever-more-ludicrous, provide the occasional big laugh spike: the full list of what Fluttershy saved from her home, Celestia's precognitive abilities, and — the one I can't get over — Vinyl's reaction to the whole situation. The story itself is perfectly ridiculous, and if you didn't expect that from the title, why are you here? All in all, a really amazing bout of absolute insanity.
Highly Recommended
...That's It? by Jay-The-Brony
Reading by Goombasa
Genre: Show Commentary
Twilight is less than impressed by Starlight's explanation for her actions.
This is one of those stories where the characters break from canon for the sole purpose of thinking things through in a manner that often doesn't fit with a 22-minute cartoon designed for kids. It's rambly, it's tracty, it's a tad dry, and the comedy tag shouldn't be there. (I had precisely one laugh in the middle of the story. It was a big laugh, but still.) If I was salty with it to begin with, it's because I've been reading a lot of Starlight fics lately (spoilers!) and I've seen that scene from Cutie Map reinterpreted way too much. That said, it's a decent enough fic, if you don't mind the characters being the author's mouthpieces. I even have to admit I agree with its moral. It's just not quite deep enough to have any more merit than some semblance of closure.
Recommended If You Need Everything to Be Perfect
Yeah, that's a bad habit of mine I'm trying to drop. Too many mother bucking words. Like the age old saying goes... "Keep it simple, stupid."
Other than that, the only thing I really didn't understand was the poem. How was it poorly constructed? I asked my editors if it was good and they all said it was great, perfect at establishing the mood.
I didn't bother listening to When You Fall because it seemed to me like the type of Scootalove fic I can't stand. Guess I will give it another chance.
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I'm really harsh on meter and rhyme. The metrics I recall were exceptionally poor.
I mean "Stands a forgotten old train station, where the clocks no longer chime" doesn't match up with "Where the wind no longer blows, and the sun no longer shines", to give one example. Mostly, it just seems too wordy to really be a nursery rhyme, or even a playground chant. Those are usually going to be a lot more simply constructed so they can be easily remembered and sung.
Ah, my first foray into comedy. Glad you liked it.
This is everyone's favorite part, including mine. Trivia time: When I heard that episode 100 was going to feature background characters, I made sure to write this story before it came out, for the sole reason that this joke would not have worked with a canonically characterized Vinyl and Octy.
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Even now, I dredged up the line and I just started laughing my ass off.
There's some crazy perfection to it, I can't explain it.