• Member Since 25th Feb, 2013
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Razalon The Lizardman


More Blog Posts215

  • 7 weeks
    Leaving the site

    I know I don't often give updates like this in my blogs, but as you can see, this is too significant not to share with all of you. I'm of the opinion that having a following of people, no matter its size, requires you to keep them informed when you make big decisions like this.

    Indeed, this lizardman will be leaving Fimfiction.

    Read More

    11 comments · 229 views
  • 24 weeks
    A humorous little something my brother and I put together

    Willy Wonka and the Toilet Paper Factory

    0 comments · 47 views
  • 35 weeks
    New cover art for Of Mares and Machines!

    Read More

    2 comments · 123 views
  • 58 weeks
    Nervous lizardman

    I’m currently sitting in between Wanderer D (moderator extraordinaire) and RobCakeran53 (author of My Little Dashie) after just barely squeezing into a panel and I’m about ready to explode from celebrity worship!

    jk I’m chill. But it’s kinda cool to be chilling with such big names on Fimfiction.

    2 comments · 89 views
  • 59 weeks
    At Bronycon

    Sorry I didn’t put this out sooner. TBH, a lot’s been on my mind and thus I forgot to announce I would be going this year. My sincerest apologies.

    But I’m here now and ready to contribute whatever little I can to making this final Bronycon the absolute best!

    Yeeeeeeaaaaaah!

    1 comments · 74 views
Sep
23rd
2016

Lizardman Reviews #5: Night of the Living Longfics · 11:58pm Sep 23rd, 2016

Today's RNG Picks: 4, 5, 7

Two out the three fics here are over 10,000 words long. Celestia help me.

Anamesis by The Albinocorn

Sunset Shimmer and Princess Twilight Sparkle have both been plagued by odd dreams. Romantic escapades and tender moments between ponies they don't recognize that all end in tragedy.

Together, they investigate this phenomena, aware of the growing tug their hearts have for one another. The answers they find, however, may threaten to tear them apart.

Before reading: Well, that description certainly has me interested, at least. Looking up the definition of anamnesis, I can only assume some sort of reincarnation memory stuff is gonna happen, which would be cool, but I haven't read anything from this author so I don't know what to expect going in. Seeing how the description is coherent and not riddled with mistakes, I can only hope that means good things for the fic itself.

While reading: So things start off pretty brutal with a memory of Princess Platinum executing a pegasus for daring to fall in love with Clover the Clever. And I'll bet you anything this would've gotten hit with the censor stick in Equestrian history books. Why? Because Equestria is horse-led America.

We then cut to Sunset stepping through the portal and meeting with Princess Twilight to discuss the aforementioned strange dreams (actually memories) they've been having, which almost always end in tragedy. Good to see this story is getting straight to the point without throwing in any unnecessary side stuff to add to the already enormous word count. Twilight does what she does best and turns to the wonderous world of reading to look for answers as to the shared, tragic memories.

More memories, more research, until Twilight and Sunset get a lead to go to Everfree Castle, all the while the author sets sail on the S.S. Sunlight. If that wasn't obvious from the description, then I don't know what to tell you. It also doesn't take a rocket scientist to guess where the story's going in regards to the Tragedy tag, but I won't judge you if you still don't get it.

Twilight and Sunset read a story called The Tale of the Eternal Lovers, which, long story, short, explains exactly why Twilight and Sunset are having the memories, as well as why they all end in tragedy. And the modern version changed the ending to be happy, because, again, western spinelessness.

Sunset and Twilight confess their feelings for each other, and the roof comes down. But wait! Sunset manages to save them both! So I'm like hooray, a happy ending! But then the fic's like Cragadile attack! And Sunset and Twilight are like oh crap. And I'm like, oh come on!

Then they go on a date, and I'm like eh whatever but hooray, happy ending for realz! But the fic's like that red bar at the top's not all the way across and by the way there's a fire in the restaurant.

The fic ends with them realizaing they need to stay aprt so they both don't die. It's sweet, tragic, and should take a few shots at your heartstrings.

After reading: If you're really into Sunlight, you'll adore this fic. If you're not into Sunlight, but looking for a good story still, I'd definitely recommend this. The worldbuilding is pretty solid, and the way it ties into the character-focused nature of this story makes for a glorious combination. While there's a few errors strewn throughout, i'd still give this fic a passing grade. Well worth the long word count.

Rarity Gets Jealous by CategoricalGrant

Spike has been spending a lot of time with Flitter, a local pony in town who is (at best) an acquaintance of the Mane 6. Rarity sees this and launches straight into action, enlisting Twilight Sparkle's aid in getting to the bottom of Flitter's intentions with her dear Spikey-Wikey.

Before reading: Something's telling me this fic isn't gonna justify its extended length. Call it a hunch. Again, I'm not a Sparity fan, or even a Splitter(?) fan, but I'll give this fic a fair shot regardless.

While reading: Oh Celestia, just look at this:

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.
“I’ll get it,” Spike cried, running past Twilight Sparkle, Rarity and Fluttershy’s seat in the parlor.
“Who could that be?” Rarity asked Twilight. “You don’t usually get visitors, Twilight.” Rarity delicately brought her teacup up to her muzzle in a veil of blue magic.
There was a deep creaking that signified the castle door had been opened.
“Hi, Spikey!”
Rarity’s teacup froze a millimeter from her mouth. The voice forced her ears up into alert mode.
“Oh, hey, you’re here early!”
“I wanted to go for a walk with you first! Are you free?”
“Sure, let’s go.”
The creaking was heard again as the door shut.
Rarity practically dropped her teacup on the table. An eye twitching, she looked at Twilight. “Twilight…dear…who was that?”

The quotation had nothing to do with the formatting, by the way; that's exactly how it's spaced in the fic. Also, also, horrible pacing here. The author isn't allowing a sense of atmosphere to build up, nor a tone to be established. Everything's just go go go go go and it only makes reading the fic a chore. So heads up, I'm gonna be skimming this story a lot.

As you can see, we start off with Flitter visiting Friendship Castle. At least this author's also getting straight to the point, as much as a little more substance would be nice. Rarity gets jealous and leaves in a huff.

Between this and the previous paragraph I've read about one fourth of the story, and I honestly can't play by play it because nothing happens! I mean, sure, stuff happens; Rarity gets more jealous, Spike and Flitter go dancing, Rainbow gives Twilight a weather presentation (like, why?), but none of it amounts to anything. The biggest problem with this fic is that there's a substantial lack of connective tissue. Each succeeding scene is failing to really build upon the previous one in a meaningful way for the story's sake. At least, not in a way that's focused and coherent. Like I said, reading a poorly formatted story is really hard, and I honestly can't bring myself to continue any further. So I'm just gonna stop here.

After reading: It really sucks because this is an idea with potential. Rarity getting jealous over Spike getting a new, more genuine marefriend makes for a great conflict; one which could easily make for an actual episode of the show. I'm sure the author meant well and put their all into this story, but being a fair reviewer means being openly honest about one's view. This fic is bad, and I honestly can't recommend it to anyone other than those who really, really like Splitter(?). Than again, that ship might not have even gotten a chance to sail in the story, so even those people might be disappointed upon reading it.

Keep practicing author, if you're really determined to be a great writer someday.

Sunset Isn't Your Color by Oroboro

Two years ago when Fluttershy was a sophomore, she spent a fretful month as a teen fashion model. Her burgeoning career was sadly cut short by the relentless bullying of Sunset Shimmer.

When Fluttershy is once again offered an opportunity to rejoin the industry, Sunset sees a chance to make amends.

Before reading: Now this looks like it has potential. Knowing nothing about modeling aside from the fact that it's not for Fluttershy-types, I'm going into this with a fresh perspective. Of course, the description makes it sound like this is going to be more character-focused, which is only a good thing for me. That and if we're talking about gravure modeling here, because reasons! *shifts eyes back and forth anxiously*

While reading: We start out with Sunset helping Fluttershy run a bake sale for the veterinary clinic. Solid start. I'm interested in reading on.

Some smarmy model agent guy or whatever comes in, looking to bring Fluttershy back to the world of modeling. And at least he's blunt about his reasoning:

You're looking hotter now than you ever were before. And you're eighteen now, right? Time to take the world by storm.”

Gotta admire his honesty, at least.

The guy gives them his card and leaves, and we get to learn how Fluttershy's brief stint as a teen fashion model came to an end because of Sunset's scheming bitchiness. Great character development, here. It's a great way of playing out the 'Fluttershy as a model' bit in the Equestria Girls world.

We then see Sunset visiting Fluttershy's house, where the shy one has baked fresh cookies. Yum. There's more character interaction, ending with Fluttershy agreeing to become a model once again. Fingers crossed for gravure.

We then cut to Rarity and Sunset together at the spa, with more character interaction. This line in particular I find to be amusing, considering the first story I read for this blog:

“Well, you know—ah, a little lower—I was starting to think that this was all stemming from a romantic infatuation on your part.”

And then this line:

“I don't know. Just an odd feeling I've had about you recently. Like déjà vu.

The universe has a playful side, let it be known.

We end this scene with some Sunshy foreshadowing.

Next scene... no gravure.

Oh well, more solid character interaction is always nice. Fluttershy's now more okay with being a model now that she's older, and Sunset's doing a great job supporting her. If the Sunshy ship sails by the end of this, I can only assume they're gonna start doing lesbo photoshoots with them. Eh, not my cup of tea.

Next scene sees Sunset confessing to having arranged for Fluttershy's harassment back during her first modeling stint. Fluttershy certainly takes it with all the grace and understanding the human version of the Element of Kindness would. And heck, just like pony Fluttershy, humanShy was going to quit anyway. But humanShy looks like she might have to keep being a model, since she keeps being rejected from every veterinary school she applies to. Which is rubbish; Fluttershy is the queen of animal caretakers. A pox on all the schools!

We end with Sunshy setting sail. But no lesbo photoshoots, sadly.

After reading: Sunset Shimmer is on a roll tonight. This fic, much like the first, I can definitely recommend to anyone who likes to read good stories (which should be everyone, I would hope), and doesn't mind Sunshy. I wouldn't say this fic really engaged my imagination like the first story did, as it didn't really present an interesting mix of character and worldbuilding, instead just opting for straight character interaction and development, but it was done every bit as well as the first story. It was sweet, heartwarming, and aside from the shipping I could see this being done in a hypothetical Equestria Girls spinoff series.

But gravure modeling would've made it perfect.



And that's a wrap on this fifth round! Sorry this one came a little late, but better belated than never, amiright? Tune in next week for more if you're interested!

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Comments ( 2 )

Thanks for the review. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

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