thoughts of a gloomy madman

To all those lost souls who may have randomly stumbled on this page for some unknown reason.

In the coming weeks I may finally post some pony stories! Don't get hyped, though, as they will most likely be some silly, cloppy oneshots of questionable comedic value, and their sole reason of existence would be to pave a path for my more serious planned works.

I have quite a few big and small stories planned out, some even go back to the beginning of my adventure with MLP:FIM. The thing is... I have a creative attention span of a goldfish, or something like that, I don't know how to better put it into words at the moment.

I plan out a story, how it is supposed to start, how it is supposed to end, any major points, what is the point of writing it in the first place, characters, what are their motives for doing what they are doing, what can I do to make it interesting, etcetera, etcetera. This of course can change at any point in drafting a story, as my mind is a maelstrom of ideas that are in constant flux, vying for attention, struggling to get out. Blah. The thing is, when I have all these mentioned things reasonably planned out, then... the whole thing starts losing steam, starts to sputter, and ultimately peters off before it can really get going. I may write several fleshed out scenes from across the whole timeline of a story, but that will be IT, end, finito... and then I will latch onto another thing that catches my fleeting, whimsical attention.

My problem is that I write ZOMBIE STORIES. No, not stories ABOUT zombies, but series of interconnected excerpts that have no right to be posted independenty, and if posted all at once they would make no sense or be too confusing. It drives me nuts, I don't know how to fight it, don't know how to win against this, this compulsion to skip from an idea to another like a bee from flower to flower, and abandon the previous one or at least put it into stasis to get back to it LATER. With "later" being an unspecified time until the heat death of the universe, or, more likely, my own time when I kick the proverbial bucket.

I tired to write one-shots before, be it a 1k words or 10k words chapter, but their fate was the same in the end; zombies, zombies, walkers, shamblers, meh.

I can only hope that actually writing these words will change something this time, and will let me fulfill my goal. Don't get me wrong, I like reading, I like writing, I enjoy getting better at anything I do. I'm not forcing myself to do it, just coercing myself to make that final step and finish, complete, publish something. Without feedback I won't get anywhere, it will only stay in my head and start to inevitably rot. I can only hope that writing this will give me a solid kick in the ass to get a grip on myself and breathe some life into my precious little undead, fictional, literary brainchildren

The essence of this post comes down to this (or tldr, as kids these days say): I'm going to put up effort to actually finish something or a few somethings--most likely terrible or silly, or both--and post it by the end of September, god-freakin-dammit!

Peace out

PS. If for some reason you read this whole message, then... what the heck are you wasting your precious time for? Go hug your mother or any other loved one and tell them how much they mean to you, or better yet, show it to them; read a good book, talk with friends about stuff you like, do something mentally stimulating, do SOMETHING. It's a time better spent than reading some ramblings of a random loser on the interwebz. Buh-bye.