The Feeling of Meh · 8:15am Sep 2nd, 2016
... Hey everyone.
I'm guessing everyone's noticed by now that my update schedule isn't just messed up... it's gone.
There's also been a lot of me just missing since the end of May...
First off: Sorry for not updating everything, college has been a bitch... and there's something else...
Which leads me into part two...
Sad to say this, but I've got bad news and worse news...
-To start, my drive to write is pretty much gone. There is hope of me getting it back, but I'm just currently in a rut.
-College hasn't been going to well. I'm actually on academic probation because I messed up with all the stress on my ass.
And that's the bad news. Before I go onto the worse news, though, let me say this good bit: My parents have SEEMED to let up slightly, but are most likely going to just go back whenever I mess up again... which is probably going to be soon.
And now for the worst of it all: I'm seeing a counselor at my school, and a family therapist!
Now, you may be asking (fuck, you probably are): "How is this worse than any of the other things? Those actually sound good!" Well, dear reader, let me tell you!
Family 'therapy' for my family consists of four fifths of my family coming. This means it's just my mother, my two sisters, and me while my dad sits at home or goes to work. This means a good part of the family problems aren't being addressed properly, and they aren't being solved. Another thing that makes 'therapy' bad is that my family doesn't treat it as actual therapy, which is why I keep putting it in quotations. No, my family uses it as a room to freely bitch about how everyone else sucks and they need to change to fit their needs. My mother is the prime example here, as she uses 'therapy' to get the therapists to suggest ways on how me and my sisters can change what we do to fit my mother's way of thinking, or getting us to do what she wants.
And now for the bit that I honestly don't know how to properly address...
I've started seeing a counselor at my college. For anyone who doesn't know what that means, it means that I'm essentially seeing a 'free' psychologist that can't prescribe me anything and just gives me suggestions on how I might be able to fix things, or gives me suggestions on who else to see. Last semester I saw one about my ongoing stress. Needless to say, it helped a little....
That's not why I'm going to see one now. In fact, according to the counselor... I'm depressed and extremely stressed.... I don't know how else to put it but that. I'm not even taking a bunch of classes: I'm just taking one and two music ensembles, in fact. So it's not really linked to that. No, it's linked to my house and my family. I just remember my mother saying something to me, and then I started to look back on my entire life and noticed how bad some of it was.... I won't go in depth, and I don't really want to right now, but know that I'm kinda in a deep pit, and I don't know how to get out.
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It's alright, take as much time as you need.
*sushi roll comic*
Why don't you tell the dean your predicament?