Friendship is Card Games: Dungeons and Discords · 11:33am Aug 28th, 2016
This week, Hasbro teases me by putting a Wizards of the Coast IP and card games in the episode. Just not at the same time.
Ooh, Puerto Caballo. Always nice to have a new place to add to the canonical atlas.
Huh. Yakyakistani goodwill tour, this one featuring all of the Mane Six. And not Starlight Glimmer. Granted, she has no past experience with yaks, but this does provide more support for a fair chunk of Season 6 taking place before “The Cutie Re-Mark,” especially given how the castle’s in use this episode. Also, very interesting to see all of the Bearers acting as political entities. Pinkie and Twilight I could certainly see, but getting the others involved speaks of how influential they’re becoming… when the writers feel like it.
Still, between this and the Griffonstone summit in “Stranger than Fan Fiction,” it almost feels like the Mane Six are slowly becoming too politically significant to be the protagonists of a kids’ show. After all, look at how infrequently we see Celestia.
Nice to see that Discord isn’t that easily manipulated. Someone that well-versed in dissecting psyches won’t be swayed easily, especially not after getting burned by Tirek. That said, I would love to see him interact with ultra-perfectionists like the yaks.
Heh. Discord refuses to acknowledge his status as a secondary character.
I do like how Applejack feels the need to specify how her boots are unattractive but functional. I’m not sure if that’s based on yak custom or meant as a jab at Rarity based on offscreen conversation.
Wait, that thing was a yeti? Would’ve been nice to know that at time.
Real smooth, Spike. I’m sure they don’t suspect a thing.
Hmm. Given how this is an overnight goodwill tour, have they laid tracks all the way to Yakyakistan, or will Celestia be providing shuttle service via telekinetic bubble?
Twilight’s “friend”? Wow. Way to bunt on the question of how they view their relationship. Of course, Discord probably doesn’t appreciate the nuance involved.
Discord’s tastes are apparent focused in the 1920’s.
Discord’s entrance at the castle is a thing of beauty.
Ponyville’s list of salacious landmarks may be short, but it’s still two entries longer than I expected it to be.
Huh. A bit of comic canon just made it onto the show. I suppose this makes Hocus Pocus: the Get-Together a bit more canonical by extension. Or so I choose to believe.
That being said, only two players, one of them the DM? Pretty paltry showing. Still, interesting to see further evidence of Big Mac’s horn envy. Or, given how he doesn’t actually use unicorn magic for anything other than swinging his sword, maybe it’s just an extension of envying Applejack’s flashy adventures and grand deeds. That would certainly explain how he got into the game to begin with. The same may be true for Spike, but I could also see him picking it up from Shining Armor.
On a related note, very interesting for Spike to opt for a wizened wizard rather than the beefy lancer we’ve seen in his past fantasies. He may be drawing inspiration from Twilight… or he’s taking advantage of her absence to play the blaster roles she usually hogs. 
I do love Discord snarking about Spike’s romantic delusions while sitting in Rarity’s chair. And the luxurious hair on Captain Wuzz.
Spike is a very unwelcoming DM. If the player’s first instinct is to use magic, suggest he go with a spellcaster. Heck, the party needs a healer. Have Discord be a cleric of himself. (Of course, that opens a whole other can of worms for the show, but still, Spike could’ve at least tried to work with Discord.)
Still, it’s not like Discord was especially enthused to begin with. And no wonder. Why should he allow himself to be constrained by brick-thick rulebooks when turning his imagination into reality for fun is practically his raison d'être?
Discord wasn’t kidding about the zoot suits et al. Sadly, his idea of fun won’t be shared by a child and a social recluse, even if Big Mac does appreciate a few of the sights. Still, unsurprising that he’d be a jazz fan, given the inherent chaos of the genre.
Also, I just know that the Chaocabana is chock-full of references that went over my head. My ignorance frustrates me. At the very least, I got the dogs playing poker.
The “game as reality” segments are quite fun. Not as central to the plot as I’d thought, but fun.
Yeah, getting pitied has to sting when you’re a physical god.
Ground Control to Captain Wuzz
We want you back though you’re a putz.
Can you hear me, Captain Wuzz?
Can you hear me, Captain Wuzz?
And thus Discord found friends through the magic of virtual reality. Though I have to wonder, how long were they playing if they were still engaged by the time the girls came back the next day? I suppose they may have been taking breaks.
Don’t play dumb, Twilight. You know exactly what’s going on.
Fun little brick joke at the end: Discord really did turn his hand into a parsnip.
In all, this was quite the fun episode, though it was mismarketed. As I noted above, I’d expected the “living the game” segments to be more central to the plot, and the episode felt oddly paced based on that expectation. I suspect that if I’d come in to this not knowing those were coming, I’d have enjoyed it all the more. In any case, it’s good to see Discord willing to acknowledge mortals with more than one degree of separation from Fluttershy. After all, if that’s how one defines one’s social circle, it’s going to have a tiny radius.
Now, onto some swords and sorcery (and instant, creature, enchantment…)
Solar Embrace 2WW
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+2 and has lifelink and “1W: This creature gains indestructible until end of turn.”
”Not that she’d ever actually deign to hug me. Nor would I deign to be hugged.”
—Discord
Trick Shot 2WW
Instant
Destroy target attacking or blocking creature.
Chaotic WW (You may cast this spell for its chaotic cost. If you do, choose its target at random.)
“Foal’s play. You should see what I can do in twelve dimensions.”
—Discord
Bask in Greatness 3W
Sorcery
Bolster 1. Then, if you control a creature with toughness 1, repeat this process. (To bolster 1, choose a creature with the least toughness among creatures you control and put a +1/+1 counter on it.)
Like all reptiles, dragons love a good sunny spot.
Spunky Bard 3W
Creature — Pony Rogue
W, T: Choose one —
• Attacking creatures get +1/+1 until end of turn.
• Blocking creatures get +1/+1 until end of turn.
Though she hasn’t yet earned the vaunted rank of Spoony, she’s still quite inspiring.
2/3
Collapsing Vortex 2UU
Sorcery
Put target creature on top of its owner’s library.
Delirium — If there are four or more card types among cards in your graveyard, that player shuffles his or her library.
You’ll never forget Discord’s exits, though you’ll often want to.
Fantasy Persona 4U
Creature — Illusion
Champion a creature (When this enters the battlefield, sacrifice it unless you exile another creature you control. When this leaves the battlefield, that card returns to the battlefield.)
Fantasy Persona gets +X/+Y, where X is the championed card’s power and Y is its toughness.
3/3
Dismissive Disdain XUU
Instant
All creatures with power X or less phase out. (While they’re phased out, they’re treated as though they didn’t exist. Each one phases in before its controller untaps during his or her next untap step.)
“I don’t recall giving you permission to exist.”
—Discord
Shadow Striker 2B
Creature — Pegasus Rogue
Flying
Frenzy 2 (Whenever this creature attacks and isn’t blocked, it gets +2/+0 until end of turn.)
Dash 1B (You may cast this spell for its dash cost. If you do, it gains haste, and it’s returned from the battlefield to its owner’s hand at the beginning of the next end step.)
1/2
Unhelpful Advice 2BB
Sorcery
Target opponent reveals his or her hand. You choose a nonland card from it. That player discards all cards in his or her hand with the same converted mana cost as that card.
”Kings and aces? Well, that’s just overkill. You can do without some.”
—Discord
Skeletal Legion 3BB
Creature — Skeleton Soldier
1B: Regenerate Skeletal Legion.
Whenever Skeletal Legion regenerates, put a 1/1 black Skeleton creature token onto the battlefield with “B: Regenerate this creature.”
The Squizard is fascinated by bones, and can never have enough to study.
3/2
Mystic Mishap 1R
Instant
Reselect target spell or ability’s targets at random.
”I tried casting a spell once. Now I need to prune my fingers on a regular basis.”
—Captain Wuzz
Discord’s Heralds 2R
Creature — Chimera Advisor
Whenever a planeswalker enters the battlefield under your control, you may flip a coin. If you win the flip, put two loyalty counters on that planeswalker. If you lose the flip and that planeswalker isn’t a Discord, Discord’s Heralds deals 2 damage to it.
2/3
Into the Caldera 3R
Instant
Into the Caldera deals 5 damage to target creature. When that creature dies this turn, add an amount of R equal to its toughness to your mana pool.
”Volcanic sacrifices were all the rage a few millennia ago. Do you really expect me to keep up with every little trend?”
—Discord
Hijinks Ensue 3RR
Sorcery
Goad all creatures target player controls. At the beginning of that player’s next postcombat main phase, untap all creatures that attacked that turn. After that main phase, there is an additional combat phase followed by an additional main phase. (Until your next turn, the goaded creatures attack each combat if able and attack a player other than you if able.)
Chance Elemental 6RR
Creature — Elemental
Trample
As Chance Elemental enters the battlefield, roll a die. Chance Elemental enters the battlefield with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the die roll. (The die may have any number of sides.)
“I like the idea, but must it be made of regular solids?”
—Discord
0/0
Frostfield Yeti 3G
Snow Creature — Yeti
1S: Frostfield Yeti gains hexproof until end of turn. (S can be paid with one mana from a snow source.)
“My talent’s for cheering up ponies. The less pony something is, the harder it is for me to make them smile. And that? Not very pony at all.”
—Pinkie Pie, Bearer of Laughter
3/3
Wild Magazine 2
Artifact Creature — Construct
Flying
When Wild Magazine dies, each player draws a card.
Discord creates life as frequently and carelessly as others sneeze.
1/1
Living Wig 3
Artifact — Equipment
2: Living Wig becomes a 1/3 Construct artifact creature until end of turn. (Equipment that’s a creature can’t equip a creature.)
Equipped creature gets +1/+3.
Equip 2
The Black Blade of McBiggen 4
Legendary Artifact — Equipment
Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has deathtouch.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, you may destroy target noncreature permanent that player controls.
Equip 4
Goodwill Tour 1GW
Sorcery
Council’s dilemma — Starting with you, each player votes for trade or tourism. Each player gains 3 life for each trade vote and puts a 2/2 green Pony creature token onto the battlefield for each tourism vote.
Invert Reality 2(ur)
Instant
Switch each creature’s power and toughness until end of turn.
”It’s so easy to forget how sensitive ponies are to a little cosmic alteration.”
—Discord
Bone Arrows 2WB
Instant
As an additional cost to cast Bone Arrows, sacrifice a creature.
Bone Arrows deals X damage to each attacking creature, where X is the sacrificed creature’s power.
Those too broken for the Squizard to raise serve him nonetheless.
Garbuncle the Bearded 2UR
Legendary Creature — Dragon Wizard
Prowess (Whenever you cast a noncreature spell, this creature gets +1/+1 until end of turn.)
At the beginning of the end step, if Garbuncle the Bearded’s power is 5 or greater, return an instant or sorcery card at random from your graveyard to your hand.
2/3
Captain Wuzz 3RW
Legendary Creature — Chimera Archer
Damage that would be dealt by Captain Wuzz can’t be prevented.
X(rw), T: Captain Wuzz deals X damage divided as you choose among any number of target attacking and/or blocking creatures.
3/3
Malicious Remembrance 4BG
Sorcery
Return target card from your graveyard to your hand. Each opponent loses life equal to that card’s converted mana cost.
Exile Malicious Remembrance.
Discord has reformed, but that doesn’t stop him from fondly looking back on his past misdeeds.
Sir McBiggen 4GW
Legendary Creature — Unicorn Knight
First strike, hexproof, trample
Sir McBiggen can’t attack or block unless you own it.
When his king bowed to the Squizard, Sir McBiggen chose honor as his true liege.
5/5
The Dread Squizard 5UB
Legendary Creature — Squid Wizard
Whenever a creature you control deals combat damage to a player, that player puts that many cards from the top of his or her library into his or her graveyard.
Whenever a creature card is put into an opponent’s graveyard from anywhere, put a 1/1 black Skeleton creature token onto the battlefield with “B: Regenerate this creature.”
3/5
Open Secrets
Conspiracy
(Start the game with this conspiracy face up in the command zone.)
Your opponents play with their hands revealed.
”Everypony knows about Guy’s Night. We just don’t want to ruin it for them.”
—Fluttershy, Bearer of Kindness
Cleric of Discord's primary spell: Recursive Randomisation.
Generate a copy of the universe in which only a few randomly selected things are different. If the wrong things are different, rollback to previous copy. If desired things are different, use the copy of yourself in the generated universe to recur the process. Continue recursion until desired results are archived.
Tail call elimination is expressly forbidden, and if you can't keep the whole call stack in your head, you shouldn't be a cleric of Discord.
This was another really fun episode
And quite meta. The D&D-flavoring went deeper than just having a fantasy adventure game: the whole problem of bringing in new players to the group and friction between different playstyles and attitudes towards the game is a very familiar issue to me.
I was extremely gratified that they actually kept the name from the comics, especially since that comic issue is one of my favorites.
It was also a good Discord episode, defined as an episode where Discord is actually challenged and ends up learning something. And Spike continues his best season yet by standing up to Discord.
The character cards were glorious.
A minor detail I enjoyed: Discord's face lights up at the mention of the pony-eating yeti.
I believe Star Swirl met the Squizard when he visited the land of the Sea Ponies, and the less said about that whole episode the better.
I'm of the opinion that they honestly did play through the night. Tiredness is only a factor if the GM says it's a factor, after all, and Discord can probably do all sorts of fun stuff with time and the subjective experience thereof.
shouldn't that be "unless its original owner controls it"?
because "you" would just mean whoever currently owns it... right?
Yeah, she still needs to finish college.
This episode has some interesting character development for Big Mac in particular, even though he didn't get quite as many lines as I'd hoped. It seems like he doesn't have any friends besides Spike – or at least none that are willing to play tabletop role-playing games with them. I know Apple Bloom said Big Mac was shy but he seems almost at Fluttershy's extreme, but without the stage fright (if anything, he seems more comfortable when acting in a performance than having a regular conversation). Then again, maybe the writer just thought it would be jarring to suddenly insert, say, Carmel or that Ponytones stallion into Spike and Mac's get-togethers.
As for the apparent horn envy, I'm not sure if that's the issue or if Mac just wanted to be a soldier character and he has the mindset that unicorns and pegasi are soldiers . . . Which is a whole different problem. I did notice, like you did, that Big Mac still thinks like an earth pony by manipulating a physical sword and shield.
Anyway, overall it was a fun episode, although like everyone else I wish the characters were inside the game longer.
4177188
Discord may be the only being who's qualified to be a cleric of Discord. He probably sees that as appropriate.
4177191
This season really has been Spike's time to shine. It seems they finally found writers who know what to do with him.
I can only assume that osteomania and/or awakening the Squirk were involved.
And yes, I did solidify a headcanon about the Squizard being fascinated by bones to the point of obsession as I wrote the flavor text. Why else would he surround himself with skeletons?
4177213
Excellent point. Indeed, I wouldn't be surprised if Discord had abolished sleep during parts of his unrule over Equestria.
4177218
Nope. "You" refers to whoever currently controls the permanent. Control is relatively easy to change. Ownership is almost impossible, and the cards that do so are all either banned in all formats or silver-bordered.
4177232
Big Mac doesn't get out much. Workaholism runs in the Apple family, and combined with his introversion, it likely makes for a social life quite similar to Fluttershy's: mostly working at home, with a few regularly scheduled outings for variety's sake.
Or, as you said, the writers didn't want to drag a background stallion into the limelight. Such are the hazards when there are so few male secondary characters.
I want to make a Squizard commander deck.
It's always nice when someone remembers the inherent spooniness of bards
As for the episode, I enjoyed this one quite a bit but I agree that the pacing needed work. It was about seven minutes just to set up, and about sixteen minutes to really get going. Fun when it did, though.
Oh shit! I noticed his hand looked funky, but didn't remember the callback to the start! :D
I am just glad that they didn't insult all of us Roleplayers
4177224 4177245
Here's a fun fact: "spoony" dates back to the 19th century, and means "foolishly amorous". The original spoony bard line, you recall, came from a wizard who was angry at the bard who ran away with his granddaughter.
So really, "you spoony bard!" isn't just a random comic insult but actually made perfect sense all along.
4177235
Once his obsession came to light he was banished from the sea and had to wander on dry land. Not because of the necromancy, mind you, but because that was landlubber magic that the entrenched guardians of marine culture could not tolerate.
4177357
I knew it had a separate definition, but I never knew what. Until now! And it makes sense! Thanks for clearing up decades worth of childish giggling.
4177218
Not quite. In MTG terms, "controller" means whoever currently has the card, while "owner" is the one who started the game with it.
So if I say use Mind Control on my opponents Sir McBiggion because I don't start the game with him in my deck I'm not the owner and therefore he can't attack or block.
Speaking of love c how it ties into Green and White
*sees Chance Elemental*
*fishes out d100*
4177235
Oh, I see what you mean. It's "you own" as opposed to "you control".
...the way I reworded it is still a lot more clear.
4177393
Yep. They even acknowledged that in the remakes of FFIV. If you go into the Developer's Room (in the Dwarven Castle), one of the people inside will comment "The bard was spoony. We checked!"
---
I feel there was a slight missed opportunity for a "You become the Monarch" line on Sir McBiggen, but I can understand why there isn't one.
The only thing from this episode I'm slightly miffed about is that it does mean that there was an RPG system in Equestria before I introduced it in my story, but Active Exploits is unique in its dicelessness, so there's that.
I did actually have a game with a friend of mine where each of us had a character and one of us was the DM (though we switched who it was every once in a while). I was a gold Half-Dragon/Elf Paladin (I think) and I think he was a Monk of some kind (this was something on the order of thirteen years ago). The main scene I remember was having to solve one of his puzzles by having my fire-resistant half-Dragon reach into a pot of hot metal to retrieve a jewel that would unlock the door, or something like that.
Mystic Mishap's text should probably read "Target spell or ability targets another target chosen at random." Otherwise, awesome cards! Oh and Garbuncle NEEDS to get enchanted/equipped with something that give +3/+whatever posthaste.
Also, I have MSE, so if you want me to make renders of them, let me know!
This is the best group of cards I've seen from you (which is saying a lot). I really need Solar Embrace for my Spitemare/Boros Reckoner deck.
I see that Spoony reference.
Great episode. Really liked this one.
4177235
You need to play 1st or 2nd edition D&D. You can get up to second level spells by worshiping anything, even yourself.
4178417
I'm so glad it still goes on!
I'm pretty sure Discord's character knows the way. It's the strangest feeling.
4177471
Curse you, Lou Zocchi!
I can confirm this. I did a pretty good job avoiding spoilers for the episode, so the pacing seemed alright to me.
Yeah, I enjoyed the episode, too; it had some awesome parts with Discord. It was funny with Big Mac and Spike making that joke about him in the dungeon and his magic being useless.
Also, Pinkie and RD belong with the guys.
Oh, how I wish some of my video games could actually materialize you in them.
Took my time with this response, didn't I?
Sorry; the Writeoff ate up almost all of my available horseword time. Plus, most of these comments are prety much past their sell-by dates in terms of timely responses. However...
4177357
If I ever do write a story featuring the Squizard, I'll be sure to incorporate this.
4191427
Commenting, and replying, is fraught with peril
4191427
And in two stories or so I may think about suggesting that ETSAB/SS&Clover collab.
But also, that would be fun