Kaylee, In Memoriam · 8:01pm Aug 19th, 2016
Kaylee. 2008? - Aug. 18, 2016.
This is my only blog, and the best place for me to write all this out.
Last night at about 11:15 while I was putzing around online, my cat, Kaylee, had some sort of sudden massive seizure. She had shown no unusual symptoms and had been completely normal less than an hour earlier when she hopped on my lap for some attention. At the time she'd been sleeping peacefully in her current favorite place, under my desk at my feet. She suddenly scrabbled, bolting from under the desk like she'd scared herself awake, but she was moving all wrong - like she didn't have complete control - and by the time I'd gotten out of my chair it was clear she wasn't all there. She was dead in less than two minutes.
I'm kind of a wreck right now.
I keep doing normal daily things and getting lost in what she'd be doing around me:
She'd try and wake me up by walking back and forth across me, only to lay on my pillow against my head when she got fed up with my insistent snoozing.
She would wait right outside the bathroom door while was taking a shower so she could rush in and lick water droplets off the curtain. The shower itself made for a great hidey-hole when dry, especially with the curtain pulled across.
She would always come up on my right side as I was putting my right sock on, put her front paws on my raised leg so she had the reach to head-boop me.
She was amazingly gregarious, but only at a small distance. She loved attention - it didn't matter who from - but she didn't normally put up with laps/cuddles/snuggles for long.
She was so amazingly patient and never lashed out - she was an escaper, not a fighter - and she got so used to me swatting at her tail that, for her, gentle tail swats were just a part of life.
The sink faucet was her favorite thing in the world. It was a magical object that provided her with unlimited free-flowing water on my command.
Scratch that, the scruff on my chin when I was lazy about shaving was her favorite thing in the world.
She'd recently shown a great love for the outdoors even though I'd always kept her indoors. She would nose-dive the concrete patio just to get to the dust bath faster.
She didn't stand for closed doors and had gotten pretty good at opening ones that weren't fully closed and/or didn't have handles - we had to watch the screen door to the patio.
She was a chaser who loved running after laser pointers. She could hear that button from across the apartment, would sprint over, and when you clicked the pointer off, she'd immediately look up at you for more.
She would always scratch the side of the litter box rather than the litter itself.
She was also smart enough to learn what was and was not okay to claw.
She loved being on high, but hated cat towers.
She had a persistent fear of my roommates' dog even though she could see another roommate's cat sitting safely right next to it.
Back in my old apartment she would always wait in the window for me to come home, sitting where she could see me park. She would always rush out onto the landing to greet me. The routine changed in the new apartment, but the basics were still there, and I always had a cat there when I came in.
She could wait so patiently for nothing at all, but it never deterred her.
I had to be careful about how much I fed her because a little extra was too much for her tummy, and she'd just throw it up. That never stopped her from asking for more.
She didn't like harnesses/collars one bit, but would endure. Though she would also do the most awkward and adorable tip-toe high-stepping when in one.
She had the most impressive back-flop sleeping style.
Finding her was a miracle in itself. Dropped off at an animal hospital (not a shelter), she might have had a terrible time finding a home (Who goes to the hospital to look for a pet?) except that a friend happened to work there. She was so sweet and so loving, never one to dodge an opportunity to nuzzle or rub up against me. I loved loving her right back, so we fit each other so well.
I already miss her so much.
Rest in peace Kaylee.
Last pic - July 15.
I'm so sorry about your loss. My dog died last year from something similar so I understand how you must feel right now.
you have my condolences for your loss, I know these are trying times but remember that there are plenty of friends who are willing to help you through these dark times.
you might not know me very well but know that I'm always reachable on discord if you need someone to vent to or yell at.
All I can offer is my condolences.
Well, that sucks. I hope your roommates are there for you and you have someone to talk to and keep you company. If not, you know how to get in touch.
Ps: On the off chance you don't know this channel already, https://www.youtube.com/user/simonscat
Having grown up in a veritable zoo of animals, I can empathize with the awful feeling of losing a pet who's more than that—they're a companion, a friend, a family member.
Kaylee was a beautiful cat with an equally beautiful personality and soul. Obviously, I didn't have the chance to meet her, but I can tell through your memories of her how much you loved her and I know that love was returned in kind.
But, as you've said, you don't want to be sad. So I won't write too much of my empathy for you, and instead focus on how amusing it is that Kaylee had similar habits to the cat I used to have, particularly this one:
Why? Why do cats do this? And then why do they look back, pause in surprise, then keep trying the corner of the litter box? I've never understood it.
In seriousness, keep friends nearby, online and offline. We're all here for you if you need us.
My sincerest condolences. I know the feeling of the sudden loss of a cat, or any pet rather. Take the time you need. I wish you the best of luck! And as mentioned before, you are not alone.
Beautifully written post. It goes to show how much she meant for you.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
You have my condolences. I had to put my dog down two weeks ago, and I keep expecting to find her in a corner somewhere, being her derpy self.
Like a lot of the other people commenting, I've also lost cats, and they're hard. Any pet can look at you with love, but only a cat -- and only the right cat -- will look at you as an equal and as a friend. Kaylee sounds like she was a wonderful companion, and I'm sorry you had to say goodbye to her so soon.
Take care of yourself, man. I'm sorry for your loss.
That's more or less how my dog went. It's been... at least six years, I think, and it still saddens me to think about it. Best wishes for you, man, this is a hard thing to deal with.
I know exactly how you're feeling right now.
One of our Siamese girls, Leia, passed a few months ago, and, even today, I find myself catching half-memory glimpses of her out of the corner of my eye or imagining her brushing against my leg in that over-affectionate way cats do. And sometimes I feel like at any moment she'll come strutting around the corner, tail held high, chattering away. Then I remember the morning she wasn't there, the dread I felt when I couldn't find her anywhere.. that soul-crushing vice around my heart when I peered under her favorite chair in the entire house and found her stretched out, unmoving. I still end up crying about it because the last time I saw her alive, I shrugged off her affection.
I'd love to tell you it gets easier after you lose a fur baby... that the hurt starts to go away, but it's the sort of thing that'll stay with you, likely forever. All you can do... all any of us can do.. is remember all the happy times, and try to blot out the sad.
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Thank you all. My first instinct was to say that you don't know how much I appreciate all of you right now, but really, I'm sure you do. Most everyone's gone through something like this and understands just what good, supportive friends will mean.
I'll admit a better understanding now, myself, how far to go to be a good friend. Before, every death I'd faced had been more distant in both location and time between event and confrontation. But this - this was right here, and someone I'd really opened my heart to.
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I don't want to be sad, but I am, and I don't want to make others sad, but I needed to express this, so... keep being you, Crystal.
Also, I have no idea why Kaylee would do that! I've been considering whether the litter box in my room is technically too small for either cat, (Kaylee or my roommate's), but she did the same thing with the bigger Booda Dome too. Worse in fact! I always left the top off for her convenience, and she'd scratch the top next to the litter box rather than the box itself.
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I've always thought that I'll probably never find another cat quite like her. How true that may be, I don't know yet, but I've lived with cats most my life and she was noticeably different than all of them. Her personality fit my lifestyle and sensibilities so well, and accommodated changes to hers so easily.
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I know that there was absolutely nothing I could have done for her, but I already know that I will always idly wonder whether there was more.
I'm already thinking about how I can take the tuft of fur the crematorium has agreed to set aside, and turn it into a little dangling charm that I can gently swat for years to come. Over half of the pictures on my phone are of her, and I have some pretty good videos as well, so good memories abound.
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I recommend this if you're up to it. I was really close to my great-grandmother, and her passing was the first death of a family member I experienced, so it hit me hard on two fronts. I ended up getting some of her ashes from my grandmother and having them made into a pendant. Even though she couldn't be there in person, she was there with me through several life moments, including graduation and my wedding day—which meant she had front row seats to Anzel and I exchanging rings as well as a failed attempt at a Thriller dance at the reception.
Although I've handed the pendant over to my sister for Grandma Birdy to be there for her life experiences, I still cherish having done it. It helped me be at peace with losing her, because it never felt like she was gone.
So... If you can finagle it, I recommend it.
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Chances are, no.
Like us, they tend towards unique, individual personalities. But, to me, all that means is having an opportunity -- when and if you're ready or interested in pursuing it -- to bring someone new into your life to share the little joys with, in a slightly different way.
Doesn't mean we ever let go of the memories, though, or the love we held for those we shared them with.
How could I have forgotten?
Her most defining feature was her snotty nose - she was "snoofy" for as long as I'd known her - and when she grabbed at something while playing, she would make raspy "cccowm" noises in the back of her throat.
She loved chasing the lines of light cast on the floor by the open refrigerator door, and would bat incessantly at dangling things, even though she was the one making them move.
She liked catnip alright, but whatever you were doing was always more important than something that smelled nice.
She could tell the difference between my days of work and my days off, and she loved my days off because she'd get a little milk after breakfast.
She voraciously assaulted any and all cups, glasses, bottles, and the like in her endless pursuit of condensation to lick.
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Now that I've had some time to think and to cope, I specifically want to send you an e-hug. I know exactly what you went through that morning - I had much the same reactions Thursday.
Oh man, that's horrible.. You have my condolences, losing a family member is never easy and indeed losing a member of your family unexpectedly, and so abruptly, is incredibly harsh.
Hugs.
Isn't Kaylee (bless her little soul
) the same cat you used in To Love A Pony? I'm so sorry for your loss. You have my deepest condolences.
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No, actually, Dimble is that cat. He was my parents cat until we moved when I was about 5. I don't remember him, but I know of him. His name though... I just love it for some reason.
I am sorry about that
. My family been a cat family before I was born 
. I never knew the three that came before, but my family had a least three generations of cats in my time. They view them as pets, but to me they are family. When you are missing, they will miss you, and show you love in their own ways. I am sorry about your loss. 