HUMANS IN EQUESTRIA

so it's 2:37 in the fucking morning

I got called into work after work roughly eight or so hours ago to work overnights because the person who usually works nights called off

I've got nothing to do aside from watching Netflix or playing isaac on my laptop or something

so fuck it

let's talk about humans in Equestria

^ Do you see this guy here?

His name is Mike

well probably not actually but for the purpose of this whatever the fuck it is, he will be Mike

Mike winds up in Equestria

whoops

Does he got on sexcapades with the mane six

does he become an alicorn or a seventh element as was prophesized by the ancient butts civilization oh-so-many years ago?

does he punch Discord in the face and get away with it unscathed?

No

You know why?

HE'S A FUCKING GUY NAMED MIKE AND NOT ANY OF THOSE THINGS I SAID BEFORE

HE'S NOT ON SEXCAPADES WITH THE MANE SIX

HE DOESN'T BECOME AN ALICORN OR A SEVENTH ELEMENT AS WAS PROPHESIZED BY THE ANCIENT BUTTS CIVILIZATION OH-SO-MANY-YEARS AGO

HE DOESN'T PUNCH DISCORD IN THE FACE AND GET AWAY WITH IT

BECAUSE HE'S A GUY NAMED MIKE

LET'S GIVE HIM SOME FUCKING BACKSTORY

WHEN MIKE WAS SEVEN YEARS OLD, HE LEARNED HOW TO PUNCH A MOTHERFUCKER

SO, IN ALL LIKELIHOOD, HE MAY BE ABLE TO PUNCH DISCORD IN THE FACE, RENDER HIM UNCONSCIOUS, AND GET AWAY WITH IT DUE TO PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED UNCONSCIOUSNESS

AT LEAST UNTIL HE WAKES UP

BUT HE HAS A STRONG MORAL SENSE OF JUSTICE AS WAS ENDOWED UPON HIM BY HIS FATHER BECAUSE HIS FATHER WAS A HIGHLY MORAL GOOD CHARACTER, WHO MIGHT HAVE BEEN A PRIEST OR SOMETHING I DON'T FUCKING KNOW I DON'T GET PAID TO THINK THIS SHIT UP

SO HE PROBABLY WOULDN'T PUNCH DISCORD IN THE FACE DUE TO HIS PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED GOOD MORAL SENSE OF JUSTICE OR SOMETHING

IN FORGOT WHERE I WAS GOING WITH THIS

PLEASE GIVE YOUR HUMAN OCS CHARACTER

I THINK THAT WAS THE POINT

HUMAN PERSONALITY LIVES MATTER

Fucjk I just realized I typed that entire thing with caps lock on

I don't look at my screen when I type things

zzzzzz

(will probably sculpt this into something more coherent later)

Comments

[PheonixStarr]

tiggums what the shit

we're best friends now

[ThisIsMyFateNow]

Tags have feelings too!

[stephen51991]

(The following should be read like the phone scene from 'Taken')

I don't know what this is.

I don't know where it came from.

But I will figure it out.

...And laugh my ass off.

[Lord Destrustor]

Mike for president 2016

[Darkness dream]

...Is it odd that I read the all-caps portion in Mr. Torgue's voice?

[Doccular42]

But... priests aren't supposed to have children...

[FicusCat]

He's not a good human if he don't punch Discord or make a harem of pone's puss.

[Waterpear]

Don't sculpt this. It's beautiful the way it is.