Journal 7? No it's 3... I think.

It's 9/11. Today's date I mean... what a nightmare. The whole incident, I remember seeing it when I was just a wee boy in middle school. 8th grade. I was at school, and all the boys and girls started crying. I was busy organizing books (Library assistant... *sigh* What a pain in the ass job. It wasn't even that fun.) and all the buses came to school. No one got on them, except for me. Everyone was picked up by their parents. I didn't know what was going on! I was just a boy no older than 13!

The worst part was the bus ride home. My bus driver was crying and panicking the majority of the time, so I was forced to listen to my ipod. Not a single kid on my bus except for me. She didn't even drop me off at my house like she usually did. I was forced to walk a half-mile until I made it home and found both of my parent's cars missing. So I felt tired and alone. I walked inside and found my little sister sleeping in a recliner wrapped in her blankie, and my other sister was in her room, crying, while on the phone with one of her boyfriends.

My little brother walked into the house 2 minutes later as his elementary bus dropped him off outside. Since Sarah (older sis...) was busy on the phone, I took it upon myself as the natural leader to take care of my family. I made sure we were all bathed, fed, and put in bed. My parents came in the next day early in the morning. For the next 3 weeks, all you would hear on the news or in school was the plane crashes. Some kids didn't show...(victims of the attack) and some actually insulted others. I actually heard one kid make fun of another kid for having his dad blow up in the building. I remember busting his jaw open and putting him in the emergency room. That was the first time I enjoyed fighting.

You know what the best part about that was? I didn't get in trouble after knocking that kid to the floor. He deserved it... but no one on the planes that crashed did. All 4 of the crash sites, the thousands of victims, the never ending pain which would become one of the worst things in U.S. history... It never should have happened. What was to be accomplished from this? Fear? Popularity? Just to get someone's attention? Why did this many people have to die? I'm glad no one in my family was involved in the attack... but I wish I could say the same thing about those afflicted about it.

I had different friends back then. One of them, Casey, punched me in the eye yelling about how I sent her boyfriend to the hospital. In just one day... kids stopped talking about 9/11 and began talking about how big of an asshole I was. Damn girls and their motherfucking rumors. That was the darkest week of my life. It wasn't the darkest moment, no, the darkest moment was of my life was when I ate a White Castle hamburger through a straw... I haven't been to White Castle in 7 years because of that moment in my life. No sir-re. And I don't plan on going back anytime soon. Unless I'm desperate... different story.

Still... it's just how that day went for me. Everyone has their own stories. Everyone has a secret. If you're reading this and you're a victim, then I want you to know that if it means anything, I want you to know that I cannot be sorry enough. I know I can't fix it, or go back in time (Yet...) and prevent it, but I am just so sorry for any pain that has been done to any of you. You have my sympathies.