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Aug
13th
2016

The Noble Jury Princessy Contesty Thingy · 7:09am Aug 13th, 2016

Not too long ago, I wandered into a Noble J00ry conversation where a few marsupials were casually discussing the possibility of doing a spontaneous fanfic competition. So, without having looked at the entire string of dialogue, I impulsively spat out: "Write a Disney Princess crossover with MLP: FiM" or something to that extent. To my mixed joy/horror, they immediately latched onto it, set up a deadline, traded notes, etc. The situation grew horribly beyond my tentacular reach, and now I'm finding myself with the heavy-hearted task of reading through several samples of ball-gown-flavored pony literature and providing a well-learned reaction.


In the end, there were five entries, all submitted to the "Lemur's Gratuitously Selfish Folder of Princess Ficcage" sub-folder of the Austraeoh group (f'naaaaaaaa). There was even a belated forum thread about it, but that was long after anyone's capacity to care. And I dun blame them.

If there's any good to come out of this, the winner of the contest (whom I will chose) gets to invent the prompt of the next contest... should there be one. Rewards? Ehhhhh... well, I'm already dreaming a sort of "reward" thingy for the Noble Jury as a whole. They'll know it when they receive it. In the meantime, I figured I'd give every contestant "EXPOSHAAH" by commenting on and semi-reviewing their fics right here in this blargh... for the whole Internet to see. Because ballgowns.

I'll then rank the stories from fifth place to first place at the very bottom of the blargh, so that the top author of the contest is fully recognized. Spoiler: Zaponator won.


The gloved hand wielding the sharp weapon shook, shook some more, and finally let it go, dropping the knife on the grassy ground.

Some marsupial knows the source material.

“Forgive me. I beg you, your highness,” he cried as he grabbed the end of the woman’s long dress and covered his face with it.

Whoah, I didn't know this was rated M. Not that I'm complaining...

A sad smile flashed on his lips.

Huh?

There comes a time when one can safely drop the perfect transcription of the original material, methinks. F'naaa.

She lost her balance from the sudden speed and she fell, but many smaller claws caught her fall, clawing at her dress and her skin. Her breath freezing, she wiggled and struggled and was able to escape their clutches.

I've seen this .gif one too many dayum times.

A bear had carried her with its mighty paws as it walked on its hind legs towards the exit of the forest,

Aaaaaaaaaand wrestle!

a...skinny...bear...monkey...female...thing.

Hilary Swank?

“Go choke on a seed,” Angel hissed,

Excuse me as I walk all the way to Japan for some spring water to spit out.

“Thanks, Harry,” Blue said, smiling at him.

I think we all know who the next roadkill is.

Yesterday...

The timeline of this story could even throw Tarantino for a loop.

“It’s not like we’re going to read it. I feel important and useless at the same time.”

I understand the feeling, Blue. I understand the feeling.

Said creature now wore a simple green dress, with white and yellow laces here and there, a golden bow on the back, and some flowing laces by the shoulders.

MORE OF THIS PLEASE OKAY THANK YOU

“Mmm...” she mmm’ed with a rosy smile.

Good. Goooooood. Let it flow through you.

“Don’t worry, Fluttershy,” the purple alicorn said,

Can it still be called "Lavender Unicorn Syndrome" when an alicorn's involved?

standing before it was a woman, dressed in an evil queen dress.

Wait, so she's not buzzard food in this continuity?

“Shall we play a game?”

Oh. And it's over.

Huh.

Took me a second or third read-through at the very end to realize who was speaking to the evil queen. While the rest of the "LUS" bits ("Orange earth pony" / "blue pegasus") were relatively superfluous, the very-very last paragraph actually works because it rewards the reader for putting the pieces together. In other moments where LUS is used, we know that it's Applejack or Rainbow Dash or Twilight. Really, at this point, there's no need for pretense. I can understand if you're attempting to saturate the narrative with LUS in order to balance out the utilization of the visual descriptions at the very end, but I still think it was a bit overwrought (except for the last paragraph; that was snazzy).

This fic is all over the place. I'm not necessarily complaining. I mean... given the cover art and the prompt, we the audience know what it's going to be about... at least roughly. But there doesn't appear to be a consistent narrative. The "Prologue" is really just a smexy, dedicated transcription of something from the vaults of Walt-Walt. "Critter Meeting" is a very unique animal (no pun intended... or is it?). "The Apple" is more akin to what I think we all expected from this story: interaction between the crossover character and the poni poni poni populace. Then the "Epilogue" sorta... leaves a lot of stuff cliffhanging. Well, I mean, I guess. It's rather obvious how the events are going to end, and there's certainly a catharsis. It's just a strange and slightly abrupt thing given the eventual momentum of the plot.

There are some obvious things that motivated you to create this work of fan fiction. And beyond the limits of this lemurrific response, you might be wondering where to take it. Whelp, if you ask me, I'd say you should go and take a really deep look at Chapter Two: "Critter Meeting," 'cuz I found myself more intrigued by that than anything else in the story. Namely... I can't remember another piece of horse literature where we actually get to hear and see and witness the actual dialogue of the pet/animal characters portrayed in the show. Sure, we've witnessed the pony pets in fanfiction—but actually hearing them talk to each other? In some sort of... parallel animalistic narrative? It's a very nifty angle and something that has the potential for cutetastical story-telling far beyond a simple princessy exercise. It's something that I suggest you pursue, because I could see myself getting behind a story where Angel is the grumpy narrator/protagonist whose moments of reflection are separated from all the dialogue segments with Fluttershy and the rest. It makes me think of the Rugrats and how the babies can never directly communicate with the adults, and yet they still understand their forbears on some fundamental level. It's a prime playground for irony and satire and... well... cute fluffy goodness.

Still, it does beg the question as to why Angel and Fluttershy don't "talk" normally, given Fluttershy's innate ability to somehow understand all critter language (including Snow White's, which I found amusing). I suppose it's because the show displays Fluttershy and Angel only communicating through charades and pantomime. Ah well. Some carrots for thought.

Thanks for making this. And whether or not you make something out of that snazzy second chapter, I wish you the best of luck in proliferating poni!lit across the digicosmos.


The door flung open as she galloped toward the chicken coop. It was empty as well. Fluttershy started to cry.

The true mother of Scootaloo, revealed.

He emerged into a clearing to see a bipedal creature in a blue and white dress completely surrounded by animals.

Something I've noticed in most HiE stories—including my own—is that the objective terminology used in describing a human to Equestrians is "something something bipedal creature." I bet if all humans who visited Equestria spent two thirds of the time walking on their knees and knuckles, it'd really blow horses' minds somewhere later on down the line.

"What manner of creature are you," asked the girl.

STOP REMINDING ME THAT SNOW WHITE IS JUST A GIRL.

She fondled a nearby deer.

She'd lose her job as head coach months later.

Rarity awoke to an ominous thump which came from deep within her store.

I detect a pattern here. A princess pattern.

placed a quick ward on it for safekeeping.

On her last vacation, Rarity visited the College at Winterholme.

young woman in a white and grey dress with a brown hooded cloak.

OooOooOooOoo... Briar Rose incarnation...

She locked the door from outside, and walked at a fast pace to Twilight's castle. She entered, and worked her way through the hallways to Twilight's bedroom.

I envy most sane writers who can describe a pony crossing the full length of Ponyville in just two sentences... much less a single chapter. :sigh:

"Blueblood," said both ponies with a hint of disgust in their voices.

Whelp, enough with that shiet. Here comes Mongo... I mean Belle.

Belle screamed.

I now officially ship Belle and Iron Will.

Once outside, she embarked on the adventure of a lifetime.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh u.

Just wait until she finds Tirek's homeland.

Tiana looked forlornly over the side while the other frogs happily chirped away.

A good punchline doesn't need a 100 word chapter.

Whelp, as a series of Burger King literary bites, this more than accomplishes what it sets out to do. The vignettes are extra vignny—what, with the thorough lack of conclusions or even cartheses in most cases. The ending to "Belle" and "Tiana" (although the "end" and "beginning" are almost the same in the latter example) are definitely chuckle-inducing... at least a lot more so than the "Snow White" and "Aurora" bits. Maybe it's a matter of personal taste, but I felt that the attempts at humor—with exception of maybe one or two spots—were somewhat tame... even subdued. The solution to this would be simple, methinks, and that would be to do several more bite-sized chapters. I mean running the whole gamut of Princesses—Cinderella, Ariel, Rapunzel, even Eilowny (FUCK THE POLICE)—and going for a quantity over quality thing, humor-wise, since I believe that works the best for this collection and was probably the sole purpose from the very beginning.

However, as wonderful as it is, I can't help but feel that the collection comes up a bit short. And that's something I really can't complain about. In fact, I don't blame the author for calling it quits earlier than expected. After all, there's only so far that a 40+ year old dude will go in writing about Disney Princesses for a 30+ year old dude who's obsessed with them. The spaghetti yarn doesn't stretch forever, after all.

You have a keen sense for knowing your audience, and for being delightfully cheeky. Also, I envy your simplicity of narrative and ability to zero in on a direct plot. So, don't stop here. Toss Burger King bites of horse-lady to the world until all our backs are covered in acne. Tis glorious.


When Celestia flew away from the castle on her broom, because she was on vacation with a squad of henchmares, led by Sunset, Spitfire was left in charge of Canterlot castle.

:Reads this opening sentence two... three... four times in a row. Takes a deep breath. Pours himself an even taller glass of Dr. Pepper.:

Applejack was also wandering the halls, wearing an eyepatch that made her look stronger.

This line made me laugh out loud for some reason. I fear that the rest of the fic won't have the necessary subtlety to keep it special, though.

In the other world, one happy genie was riding a camel through narrow streets of the city.

Crossing dimensions without so much as a line break?! Scandalous!

old cybernetics camel creeping sideways in slow rhythm

Is this a fanfic or an MGMT music video?

On reflex, he made a random portal, that began growing.

It also happens to be a random portal that spits out unnecessary commas.

Sleeping Beauty awoke, raised the cover of her sleep coffin and smiled, revealing multiple pairs of sharp teeth, because she was ready for breakfast.

Now you've gotten my attention.

and panicking people seeking shelter from cartoon-looking flying stars and jetpack wearing penguin wanderers, couldn't find a doctor by themselves.

I was wrong. The story's subtler than I expected.

screaming like a space amoeba from Cardassia.

Wait, what?!

And in Equestria, a battle squad of sirens led by angry Ariel on an armored winged bicycle made Sleeping Beauty flee through the portal, just like that.

I'm not sure what I'd prefer more. This entire fic or just the previous sentence in a Tweet.

When Celestia came back for refueling the broom,

Oh look! Continuity!

In Cloudsdale, Rainbow Dash was eating hay, it was awesome. But she didn't know about the ship.

This sounds like the synopsis to an entirely different fic altogether. Alas, it's this story's final line.

Lemme make a little confession. There's a type of "comment" or "review" that I absolutely loathe. And it's when a random marsupial checks out one of my fics—especially the random, comedic ones—and goes "Well, that was a thing that happened/I read." And as much as I detest that type of a comment, I feel—for the first time ever—inclined to wield it like some double-bladed weapon of bittertastic irony right here and now.

But I still don't want to.

I write lots and lots of random stuff, so I'm not a good lemur to place judgment on what should or shouldn't be allowable in a work of spontaneous comedic expression. And for precisely that reason, I'm gonna be a hypocrite and attempt it anyway.

What I think makes a good random fic is its "kaizo" factor. And the difference between what is "kaizo" and what is "chaotic" is that kaizo stories manage to run the hyperbolic marathon and still cross a finishing line in the end. Kaizo stories have meandering paths—sometimes stupidly erratic—but they are still paths. Anyone can pull some Lewis Carrol fappery and do "noun" did "action" to "object" with a whole bunch of absurd modifiers thrown in between. But the problem with pure literary chaos is that it's not entirely cathartic. Human brain bones are keen on narrative structure, and even if a melody whirls itself about wildly like a sophomoric Radiohead song, it's okay—so long as the tune wraps itself up sooner than later. In other words, what makes a random story nifty is when it does the magic trick of cutting all the various threads to shreds but still somehow pulls itself into a straight, whole cord just in time for the prestige. It's kinda hard to have a punchline if there's no beginning or end to the string.

As whimsical as this story is, I can't help but feel that—with the exception of the setpiece of Celestia leaving and returning from a vacation—there is almost no cohesiveness to the piece. It's simply an assortment of chaotic blurblage with Disney elements stapled randomly within. Perhaps that's thematically indicative of the inclusion of both the Genie and Discord, but if that was the case then I didn't find the elements necessarily warranting such an execution.

But, let us remember what this prompt and subject matter is all about... which I'm starting to forget at this point. F'naaa. At barely the minimal submission requirements of one thousand words, this fic isn't really trying to try... and that's not a thing that's required. Nor is it a crime. And for another, I can get the distinct feeling that the author who produced this allotment of words had immense fun in doing so, and I'm pleased and humbled to have been bequeathed such a grammatical bevy. So rats off to you, and a Happy New Chip-Chip.


Schnee Weiss, or Snow White to her friends,

Hmmm...

“No one hides from my sight,” she hissed, racking a bullet into her rifle.

O lawd.

Granted, if you were trying to be culture-specific, wouldn't you have made Belle the sniper? Not that I'm complaining...

Two heads popped up to look at the strange biped

SEE?! TOLD YOU.

“Stop-” Snow swung her rifle in a high arc, forcing the changeling to land. “-wasting-”

Gotta admire the visual/spatial pacing of the narrative here. Any self-respecting author would likely tell you that the gratuitous sound effects are detrimental to the literary quality, but we both know who you're writing this for. F'naaaaaaaaaaa.

A few hours before

Hmmm... part 2

Jasmine-Bot

Pfffffft.

“Open your minds. If it must be through the hole in your skull.”

Nice.

“Eat a dick.”

It's nice to have fun. Just don't go overboard.

The invading army was starting to notice large swaths of their brethren being cut down in a certain area of Canterlot.

I feel that this is the first time that the narrative has declaratively stated that there is—in fact—an invasion going on... and not just errant changelings attacking ponies all over the city. So far, this has been a bunch of gratuitous princess-murdering-bug-pones scenes, which isn't necessarily bad. But oftentimes when reading a crossover, my mind grasps for a central thread of... erm... wtfisgoingon-ness. Good to have some development in that direction.

Also, I know from personal experience that it's super easy to cast changelings as expendable cannon fodder, and for the most part I don't think twice about it. But I'm starting to wonder if it's a relatively yucky trend that I'm contributing to. Then again, you can't swing a dead cat on Fimfic without hitting a changeling!sympathy story, so f'naaaaaa.

Everything seemed to start going downhill when a wave of stinky sewer water cascaded over them.

You really do like the word "stinky."

She floated the straw over, which was currently IV’d to a vein on the elder Princess’s leg.

Wat.

Friggin' wat.

Whelp, as prompts go, you went for an unabashed two-for. Perhaps even a three-for: combining gratuitous violence with Overwatch with princesses. How did Jasmine, Ariel, and Snow White even get there? Perhaps it doesn't matter. The fanfic appears to embrace this absurdity, especially at the end when... erm... yeah.

What makes these regal femmes so appealing? And how does one characterize them when doing a crossover with horseland?

In the context of this fic, I don't think it particularly matters. Not because of how cookie-crazy the plot is... but because the tone of the narrative—in my opinion—completely overwhelms the digestibility. I know that these mercenary maidens are supposed to be doing badass stuff in a truly Hollywoodesque fashion, but I can't help but... feel sorry for these changelings.

I mean, what are they guilty of? Besides being changelings? Yes, it's stated that they're attacking ponies and that there's an invasion in Canterlot. Nevertheless, the mini-fic constraints of the story only allow us a tiny squint at the situation, and it consists entirely of several incompetent bug ponies being murdered indescriminantly by rather disgruntled recasts of bipedal Disney merchandise.

Maybe it's a personal opinion, but I tend to find femme fatales more attractive when they're being heroic... as opposed to just cruel. The same goes for protagonists in general.

For instance, I like James Bond films—but sometimes I ask myself why, cuz James Bond is such a huge fucking douchebag in everything he says and does. But you know what makes me enjoy his dickish heroics? We—as an audience—almost always have definitive proof that the baddies he's psychotically murdering are grossly worse and more evil than him. We know that despite being a bully with a laser watch, he's still saving the day from true-true evil jerkoffs. Because the antagonists he faces are so unbelievably vile, we can swallow the bitter pill of his douchebaggery and find a sugary taste to it.

In this story, I feel that the sheer murder outweighs the badassery. And though the action was well-written and the dialogue well-delivered, I personally would have appreciated some whimsy added to the tone. Maybe display the gun-toting tiara-mistresses in a slightly cheerier light. Have them saving ponies as much as they slay changelings, or at least pull a Peter Jackson and give us glimpses at the vulnerable mud-stained women and children hiding beneath Helm's Deep, so we know that there's someone or something worth saving.

Again, I feel that a good chunk of this comes down to personal preference. Nietzsche knows I've written relatively heartless, nihilistic attempts at dark comedy more than once under the lemur banner, so it's hypocritical of me to judge. You obviously have competent knowledge of firearms—at least in the comic book sense—and you take pleasure in showing it. In fact, I get the feeling that you took an awful lot of pleasure in the execution of this entire story and its high calibre elements. And that's more than fine. I prefer people enjoy the stuff they write and let their enthusiasm shine on through. It's just that—personally—I find that there's more to being a badass than the bad part, and if this story was fleshed out a bit more—and we were given a foe that was slightly more competent, callous, and cackling—then I'd have less of a bitter taste in my mouth... even if I spat most of it out when reacting to the very last paragraph and its drunken non sequiturs. One could write an essay on the "Scorecard" chapter alone, but that's not going to happen here. What do you think I am, a critic?


"Applejack!"

Already off to a good start.

There was a pregnant pause

This sounds very familiar to me... and yet my rational mind is telling me that it shouldn't.

Rarity was enjoying the peaceful summer morning

DON'T YOU GO THERE. DON'T YOU DARE.

"But I'm boooored!" Sweetie Belle groaned,

Jee, it sure is Season 2 around here. I just wonder what the brick is up to.

"Is that... Applejack?" Rarity muttered to herself,

NUUUUUUUUUUUUU

"Don't go buttering me up too much. I ain't nothin' without the rest of you girls." There was a brief pause before Applejack blurted, "'Specially you."

MURRRRRRDERRRR. 0 out of 10! Last place! Brown ribbon! Rio athletes hotel!

From inside, Applejack grabbed an old empty horseshoe box and balanced it on her flank before turning back to face Rarity.

F'NAAAAAAAAA—you know, if what Twilight has called AJ for is what I think it is, I really really hope we have an entire paragraph of Applejack stupidly attempting to stuff a full-grown biped's skull into a tiny shoebox.

"I think we're just describin' the spa now..."
"Oh, darling, we should go to the spa!"
"I know right!?"

Somebody had fun writing this. Mesa glad.

a tall, pale creature

Yes, but is it bipedal.

a flowing blue dress.

Alright. You've redeemed yourself... for now.

"Please don't panic!" Twilight exclaimed, panicking.
"I ain't panicking!" Applejack responded, also panicking.

I giggled.

"I think it might not be dead, darling."
"Well not with that attitude!"

Goddammit. Noble Juryisms.

"I was trying to perfect a spell that could recall the princesses of Equestria to a single location on command."

Nifty plot device is nifty.

"Well it's not the worst way to go, is it?"

No, Rarity. No it isn't.

The three continued marching through the woods at a more moderate pace, with Scootaloo still leading the way. They hadn't trekked much farther when Scootaloo suddenly stopped in place. The little pegasus stiffened as she stared through the bushes at something.

Is this gonna be Anno Domini, only with petticoats?

"It was super tall, and it didn't look like any animal I've ever seen."

Yes, but is it a biped?

"M-My name... is Fa Mulan. I'm a citizen of the great Empire of China."

Well, technically... Twilight Sparkle's spell wouldn't... eh... fuck et.

Fend off a wild bear, and don't spill the tea. She'd faced worse odds in the past.

If this turns into a Jackie Chan sketch, I just might give you my Fimfic account.

Unfortunately for Mulan, the bear wasn't thinking about that at the moment.

Those two overdrawn paragraphs about the bear were priceless, and they almost make up for the relatively bland filler of CMC comedy.

"I saw a bear in the circus once!" Sweetie Belle grinned.

Someone's forcing the stupid onto Sweetie Belle, and it's not me.

Applejack was growing tired of princesses.

That sounds like a story synopsis of another winning fic.

"So, much, laaaace~" Rarity squeed from where she trotted amidst a gaggle of ballgown'd ladies.

Oh shit, sonnnnnnnn

"Where!?" Rarity demanded through a far-too-wide grin.

Heh. I'm on Team Rarity for this.

Rainbow Dash exploded out the front door of her house with the ferocity of an caged tiger.

Wat. Has this just turned into a Rainbow Dash novella?

Rainbow pulled up with inches to spare, close enough to feel the tall grass brush against her fuzzy blue belly.

I somehow doubt that Rainbow Dash would admit to possessing the fuzzes.

Rainbow Dash gasped. "Ninjas!" She spat to the side. "Pony ninjas. I hate those."

I almost want to believe that the Rainbow/Anna scene was your first attempt at this prompt but then you decided to write an entirely new and longer fic around it.

Anna stepped up and stood by Rainbow's side. "Yeah!" she added. "I am very confused!"

I'm liking the dialogue in this Rainbow Dash scene especially.

"Rrrrrraaaaugh!" Rainbow screamed and suplexed the stallion so hard that the ground shook.

Is it fun for other lemurs to write?

Anna held a hand up to shield her face while her hair and tattered short skirt flapped in the shockwave of the explosion.

This is a Pen Stroke reference, isn't it?

However, just as soon as they spotted Rainbow Dash, all of the princesses flocked over to her and instantly began fawning over her.

Oh shiet. This deserves to be a fanfic in and of itself. Rainbow Dash gets teleported to the land of princesses where everypony instantly falls in love with her because she's a pretty pretty pegasus. Rainbow Dash loses her mind and screams.

"B-Buh?"

The arsenic on the dagger.

Rainbow saw her out of her corner of her eye and flinched hard. "What!? No! You! I just want to drown in your dress~"

Pffffffffffffft.

"Meh." Rainbow Dash shrugged. "Probably just the author getting lazy."

This sums a lot of things up, actually.

"Zoop!" Rainbow Dash zoop'd over to the crowd and instantly face-dived into a nuzzlefest of silky fabric and adoring princesses.

Goddommot fronk

"H-Huh!?" Rainbow's head popped out of a heap of dresses and cuddles. "Ye-HIC-Yeah?"

I understood that reference.

Also, why isn't this fic rated M? F'naaaa...

Nopony even had the chance to blink before every inch of space in their universe was filled with princess, and everypony and everyone was crushed to death under an infinite mass of ballgowns and lace.

And I suppose—statistically speaking—there'd also be a few quintillion tons of metal bikinis. But fuck that mess.

If there's anything I feel is a running theme with all of these entries is that the authors—for the most part—had a whole lotta friggin' fun in writing them. At least, I like to believe that such is the case. And, if so, it most certainly shines here.

I feel as though I'm at least partially aware of the process by which the author slapped this all together. I imagine that a disjointed series of writing sessions is what made it all possible. And—much like the lemur reading this—the author probably didn't do too much editing or adjusting. I'm not complaining, just stating what I feel to be a logical explanation for the positively schizophrenic pacing and scene selection utilized in the fic. For realsies, there are moments when I feel as though the written moment in particular didn't properly know how to reach a conclusion. And you know what? I don't care.

This fanfic is like a jumbled white carton stuffed full of excess Chinese take-out. There's just so much bursting out of it: jokes, action sequences, shipping pr0n, inside jokes, gratuitous lemur-appeasement... the whole nine yards. The story takes the George Lucas approach of throwing so goddamn much at the reader in hoping that something—anything—will stick. If one doesn't get a kick out of any of the gazillion mostly lukewarm CMC jokes, then the fic can rely on the coy narrative or the Rainbow Dash fight scenes or the absurd descriptions of the princesstastical monsoon.

I describe the story this way... because I think it's very much the way in which I myself choose to write. Quite likely, the author is fully aware of this, and one might consider this fic to be a tribute to the kaizo crack!fics that come out of the lemur's esophagus on a semi-regular basis. Because I happen to be the lemur in question, I feel that I can tolerate a lot of devices that—to an objective observer—are pretty dayum forced. I'm referring, of course, to Sweetie Belle's persistent bicycle helmetisms, Rainbow Dash's sudden hiccup-inducing fabulosity, and an inexplicably long fight scene full of sound effects. I do believe I can say without egotistical gloating that this is obviously a work of sincere flattery, and I am... well... flattered.

But it's also a story that I happen to know floats the boat of a different Noble Jurist in particular, and I do believe that the undeniably thick-laid Rarijack (F'NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA) manifested throughout the narrative is ample evidence of this. If a story is essentially made for me, and yet the author is making it fun for themselves, then mesa happy, and I'm glad to have been involved—at least inspirationally—in the fic's conception (rowwr).

How does the story stand up on its own? Wellllll... as suggested earlier, the pacing seems to echo (at least I believe) a sporadic shotgun approach to the prose. I can easily imagine this being written in random spurts over the course of several days, and I think it shows in a relatively disjointed flow to the plot progression. But, as evidenced by the fourth-wall breaking moments in the narrative, I seriously doubt the author gave a shit... and I think the overall tone of the story asks very few shits to be given by the audience in turn. And... y'know... that's relaxing. This is a relaxing story, despite its comically apocalyptic overtones.

I've only read one story by you before this (well, one and a half, f'naaaa), so I don't think I have proper read on your personal interpretation of best pony and best pony's characterization. Ironic, I'm sure. But it stands to be said that I find the Applejack in this fic to be... curiously irascible. And I wonder if it's mostly because you've decided to make her the straight-face control variable of the fic... essentially the story's anchor—to which every absurd event and comical bit of dialogue serves as a foil. It almost feels to me as an example of an author's voice bleeding through a character that has mutated into a plot mechanic—and no longer the canonical personality we're all used to. But maybe that's just nitpicking. True to her normal countrified self or not, Applejack had good bits of dialogue, and she pushed more than her fair share of running gags throughout the plot.

Overall, a fun story chock full of soooooo much stuff. It was referential, playful, flirtatious, silly, fun-loving, and undeniably meaty.

And... uhm... also...

...I think I ship Rainbow Dash and Princess Anna now. F'naaa.


And now for my ranking of the fanfic entries for this contest which Zaponator won.

Fifth Place: "Genius" by ConsciousHaze196

Fourth Place: "Skirtswatch" by AppleTank

Third Place: "An Apple a Day Keeps the Lemur Awesome" by destinedjagold

Second Place: "Disney Princesses in Equestria" by Silvadel

First Place: "PrincessPrincessPrincess" by Zaponator

Soak it up, ya syrupy bacon smokin' bud, eh?

Oh, and honorable mention: Belle of the 7.62x51mm Ball by Hap, who submitted this years ago and would probably have given Zaponator a run for the money in some alternate universe where Canadians conquered the States in 1812.

Whelp, there you have it. The first (and perhaps last) review blargh of gratuitous lemuriffic princessy fics. Oye. My brain bone hurts. I don't know how certain dragons do it.

NO NOT THOSE KINDS OF DRAGONS

-SS&E

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Comments ( 12 )

I must say, this was a very entertaining read at 2:30 in the morning. Now to go shoot some more EastHorse into my veins.

Jesus SS&E, I think I can almost see an ankle in that picture. What's wrong with you?!

Why da hell is twilight black? Just cause?

4147329 ...Why are the others white?

4147332
Because it makes it diverse. I was just curious.

Well that happened. /s
So, what's the next prompt?

I'm starting to think I'm cursed to forever get third on almost every contest I participate in. :pinkiecrazy:

Well, yeah, I needed something to shoot at, and, well, I can summon a random ass horde of changelings to randomly mow down, and it to make some sort of sense. Well, as much sense of "why do we shoot the blue guys who eerily look like us? Because we hate BLU!"
Also, I'm absolutely terrible at this stream of consciousness thing. oh well.

I stopped at four mainly due to three reasons:

1) I was trying to hit the original deadline (I think mine was the only one that published inside the original guidelines) (Had I taken an extra week for it, I am sure I could have come up with more stuff like one for Rapunzel)

2) The four I did were light-hearted. I had one vignette that was not included that was ... dark ...

Cinderella

"More slaves," said Sombra as he chained the young girl and put her to work cleaning his castle.

I considered a "Shoo be do" thing with the sea ponies for Ariel.

3) I simply am not as much in tune with the characterizations of some the later films as I am with the earlier films. Yes I am 47 years old. I grew up with the classics. Once you hit Pocahontas, I start getting into trouble. (I'd be hard put to do her Mulan, or Meridia justice)

I eagerly await the next contest.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Inform your lemurs! They have been... reviewed.

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