Gushing Fan Review: Second Chances, Many Changes · 5:49am Aug 8th, 2016
Hi all! Now, I know none of you clicked the follow button on my page over the scintillating contents of this blog, but I really wanted to do a teensy little blog post about a story on this site. Now, I don't usually review other stories, because I generally never want to say any story sucks, but I figure if I only review stories I like, I won't have to!
Anyway, if you guys have zero interest in seeing this, you can tell me in the comments below. Conversely, if you'd like me to blog a bit more about the stories I have in my hidden favorites folder, tell me also!
by ASGeek2012
Tags: Drama, Human, Slice of Life
Minimal spoiler plot synopsis:
Rachel is a teenage human orphan girl who dies and is sent to Equestria by Discord. She gets turned into a pony and carries a pendant that Queen Chrysalis and Twilight Sparkle both seem really interested in. This character list is a little misleading because precisely none of those characters besides Rachel are actually central to the story: The story is primarily about Rachel adapting to life as a pony while being adopted by Rarity and living with new little-sister Sweetie Belle.
Now before I begin, let me preface this by saying that I normally really, really hate Human in Equestria stories. The vast majority are boring wish-fulfillment vehicles for the authors' self-inserts to bone the canon characters. Occasionally I find a human-turned pony story that doesn't seem like this at first - the OC engages in semi-interesting will they/won't they with a canon character, but almost invariably they will get in bed and the larger plot gets shelved in favor of yet more chapters about how the OC and love interest are having yet more tons of sex. Seriously guys, if you're gonna do this, please don't put in some big looming plot at the start that I want to see resolved only to pull a bait-and-switch on me when you invariably get bored and quit writing after your human OC finally schtups your pony waifu. While I don't begrudge the desire to write this sort of thing down (I personally have written far too much Sherlock/Loki crossover yaoi slash to take a moral high ground), you guys may forgive me for not wanting to read any of it (and if you don't, stuff it).
But Second Chances doesn't do this. This story is, in my opinion, the very zenith of long-story HiE writing. The main character is believable, likable, and most of all, interesting. She integrates with the canon characters well and at no point do the their lives suddenly start revolving around her. The OC is prone to a lot of introspection and just a tiny bit too much of blaming herself, but that's forgivable, because she is literally written as a teenager transitioning into young adulthood. There are a LOT of cute and heartwarming moments in the story, mostly about how she interacts with her new family, and the larger action/suspense plot is woven very well between the slice-of-life segments and serves to make them more interesting.
The author does a great job in making the character's humanity relevant without choking the narrative with it - this is a line that very few HiE writers manage to tread. At no point do I read this and go, "Why do you need the main character to be a human?" nor do I ever think "quit harping on your human-ness already. Literally every reader of your story KNOWS what being a human is like."
A major strength of the story is in character development. The main character is presented as beginning with some poor preconceptions, trust issues, and a propensity for (as mentioned earlier) self-blame. Over the course of as-of-writing 50 chapters she learns to (partially) overcome and grow beyond her faults, in a very gradual and believable fashion. The only comment against this that I have is that the main character doesn't get into enough genuine trouble under her own poor decisions to justify all that self-blame: almost every time she makes a poor decision everything turns out just fine, and every major difficulty she blames herself for is a bit too sympathetic for the audience to really blame her for. Seriously, author, beat your OC up a bit more if you want her to have so much guilt. The side characters (Sweetie Belle, Wuntusix and Michelle) are taking way more hits (both physically and socially) than her, and they're dealing with it much better than she is.
One of the things I like most about this story is that it doesn't depart very far from the themes of the show that we know and love. The main character pretty much never upstages the canon characters - the MacGuffin is something that she is carrying rather than who she is. And while it run alongside the majority of Season 5, the main character mostly observes and reacts (in ways that are actually interesting and relevant to her story and character growth) rather than participates - the canon main characters still proceed to solve all the problems, mostly the same way they do in the show. Rarity is portrayed especially well in this story; her character diverges just a teensy bit from canon in a way I never thought I would enjoy.
Summary: Best HiE-turned pony on the site. Go read.
What do you think about this, then?
I've been seeing this story pop up here and there. I normally hate HiE as well. Your review might convince me to read it. But as always i shall wait until it is finished to read and thus cast my vote.
You are right in that many of the HiE stories are self inserts (pun intended) wanting to bang the mane cast.
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It's hilarious, honestly (Even if Qwapdo has been gone for ages and will likely never return). I have it on my Tracking list, which I use for fics that haven't been updated in over a year. And yes I agree that it manages to avoid all the major pitfalls of HiE writing.
Now, if you look at my writing you can be forgiven for thinking that I love reading comedy best, but honestly I personally favor heartwarming slice-of-life long-form stories. I just can't write them very well. My two attempts at serious writing on this site have received very middling response.
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So, you love writing SoL stories, but are remembered for writing memorable comedy stories that make jabs at the established canon and the show itself.
In a way, it's almost like a tragedy.
I've been waiting for it to either be concluded or build up a backlog of 100+ chapters before I put it in my RiL. (I have so many fics in there already, I don't want too many stories in my RiL that I can't just binge and be done with.)
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They Don't Know Her isn't as popular as it deserves to be (and really isn't heartwarming or slice of life...), but Everything I've Ever Wanted is pretty popular, more so then
AlifornicationAlicornification and at 2.5K views and 400+ likes is pretty popular by any objective standards... EIEW was in fact some of the best exploration of Sunset's character I have seen....and some of us don't get to whine about 2.5K views as 'middling' response, you bastard.
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Ooh. Awkward. I concede that what I said was kinda stupid.
Nevertheless, it's obvious to me that people would very much rather read my comedy than serious stories. I'll probably give a serious story another go soon (relatively speaking).
Anyway this post isn't about me, it's about this awesome HiE story that I looooooove! :runs away:
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Well, there is a range of reasons? Trixie is a niche, albeit a popular one, and haven't been seen for years at the point you published YDKH.
Your funnies on the other hand all have the sex tag (it matters...) and are short, so people who want to give it a try could just read it and right away with 15 minutes to spare, rather than file it away for later.
Also, since raunchy comedies is the breakout piece for you, a lot of your watchers would go for similar work, so it's a combination of selection bias and attention cost, not a reflection necessarily of what people want.
If it were up to me I'd vote for EIEW every time, and not just because bacon horse is best human.
...that came out wrong. But yeah, I like your short comedy, but your serious pieces, especially EIEW is technically and artistically greatly superior.
Thank you very much for this review! I am especially grateful for how you not just explained what you liked about it, but you pointed out the flaws as well (many of which I was already aware of thanks to comments left on the story itself). By no means it this story perfect, but I'm glad you found it enjoyable.
Also, thanks for recognizing the work I did to fit the character into the canon of fifth season. I tried to make it plausible that you could rewatch that season and still believe that events of my story were taking place off-screen (chapter 50 was the biggest challenge in this regard).
One specific comment of yours I wanted to reply to:
That was really one of the biggest challenges in writing this story. I was placing her in a situation in which she's never been portrayed, so I had nothing from the show to base it on. I'm glad it came across as believable.
So, thanks again!