Blue Jay Reviews #1 - Dat Booty, Who's Your Daddy?, One Step Away · 5:37pm Aug 3rd, 2016
Greetings all who may read this little blog post. My name is Blue Jay, and this is an alternate account I made so that I could write reviews for stories, without the shackles of my main account.
I was inspired to take up this quest by a couple of reviewers off and on this site. Just to name a few: Titanium Dragon, Present Perfect, and Yahtzee Croshaw.
That last one is a reviewer on a completely different topic, so he's not as strongly listed here. If interested in reviews on video games, I highly recommend you check him out. You can find his stuff Here.
Now, the lay out of these reviews will be similar to many of you, especially those of you who follow a certain Dragon. That is why I spoke of him here as inspiration, so it doesn't come off as directly ripping him off.
Without further ado, Today's stories go as follows:
Dat Booty by Summer Dancer
Who's You Daddy? by Sporktacles
One Step Away by Oroboro
by Summer Dancer
Comedy, Random, Romance
1,488 words
The walk back to the convention starts out so smoothly....until Rainbow Dash does something she probably shouldn't have.
Review
With a new episode coming out, there is of course going to be a flood of new stories based around the ideas and characters introduced. Unfortunately, like many of these stories, this short-fic doesn't have much substance, and rushes by faster than a man to the bathroom after eating, "Taco Bell."
The Story's about Quibble Pants being shocked about Rainbow Dash taking a peek at his hindquarters, which leads to the predictable back and forth of, "I did not," and "Yes you did!" Even the jokes were something I could see before they popped up.
The thing is, this story wasn't funny, which is upsetting considering this is a comedy. The jokes fall flat, and it all seemed like it was pushed out as fast as possible, like an awkward third-wheel at a party.
This was clearly written as a bit of a reaction piece, and only here to be one of the first fics where Rainbow shows she likes Quibble Pants in more ways than one.
Recommendation: Not recommended
by Sporktacles
Sex, Comedy, Equestria Girls, Random
2,626 words
Princess Celestia has something to tell Sunset Shimmer.
Something about her parents.
It's nothing strange at all.
Yep.
Review
Celestia tells Sunset Shimmer an embarrassing story, and Sunset reacts with confusion, and uncertainty. Well, that's not the only thing the story does, it also comes up with a creative explanation on why there is no human counter part for Sunset Shimmer, which I found plausible. In the sense that getting out of the friend-zone is also technically plausible.
A problem throughout this story, and something to be expected from a random comedy like this, is that the characters didn't entirely act like themselves. In this case, Celestia seemed the most unlike her character, often using phrases and words you wouldn't expect her to say.
For ex:
"Nicked. Filched. Sniped. Pilfered your still-diapered plot right out of her home. I came Back on the third day, snaffled you up and ran like the dickens before you could notice."
Again, can be excused do to the random humor.
Now, grab your biggest tampon, because I'm about to spoil the plot-twist like a raging cunt.
So, we find out that maybe Flash Sentry could have been Sunset's half-brother. This would have been more funny, if it were not for it being taken away like a kids toys while he's grounded.
It turns out that was jut a prank, but the rest of what Celestia talked about was true. To me, that seemed to make that part of the story not hit as hard, considering it wasn't true.
Recommendation: Not recommended, unless you like really, really off the wall humor.
by Oroboro
Sex, Drama, Equestria Girls, Slice of Life
5,740 words
Rainbow Dash has a problem. It's not her grades. It's not that Sunset Shimmer keeps tormenting her. It's not that Fluttershy is her only friend.
Okay, well, it's all of those things.
But mostly it's her stepmom.
Review
If you have ever had to move away from your home as a kid, or if you ever had to deal with step-parents of any kind, you will probably enjoy this story.
The story is about Dash and her father moving away from some past drama, and trying to make their life anew. There is also the added struggle of growing up, and dealing with a step-parent that crawled right out of nagging, old bitch 101.
A problem, though, is that two of the characters don't seem fleshed out enough. The characters I'm referring to are the two parents, especially the step-mother.
The step-mother just comes off as a forced, demanding antagonist for Rainbow Dash's growing resentment of her new life. Her dialogue sounds like it was ripped right out of a bad kids show. This would be ironic, but MLP has been shown to be a good kids show. Still, even the villains have their cliches... I guess I can't fault the story too much here.
As for the dad, he at first comes off as every parent ever from any media. Trying their hardest to make their child happy, while also coming off as a way to show that he is the adult. It's not until later that he becomes more interesting, and starts to show that he has had a long life, and that his wisdom can really help Dash.
Again, if you have been through events like this, you'll likely really enjoy this story.
Recommendation: Worth reading.
Summary
Dat Booty by Summer Dancer
Not recommended
Who's Your Daddy? by Sporktacles
Not recommended
One Step Away by Oroboro
Worth reading
And that's, that:
This, after reading over it, does look almost spot on to how Titanium Dragon layouts his reviews, but that's not bad, right. I find his layout very easy to read, and very useful for compiling different stories for reviews all under one blog post.
I hope that you guys enjoyed the time I put into this -- this is the first time I've ever reviewed anything, so it's new territory for me. That is why I only did three stories, that way I can ease my way into this little hobby.
Now, if you excuse me, I'm very hungry.
Thanks for the review, and I wish you the best of luck in your new reviewing career.
4129825 Thanks, much appreciated.
You've got typos throughout the whole thing. I suggest combing these review blogs over before posting them.
4129943 Grammar has never been my strongest asset, though, I'll try to work out as much kinks in my writing armor as I can.
4129951
The grammar seemed mostly fine to me. I'm just talking about extra words sprinkled here and there, "an" instead of "and", stuff like that.
4129955 Ah, it's always the simple stuff...
Hope to see more of these!
Also, don't feel too bad about copying somebody else. TD's reviews are a very good template, and with time you will find things you value more, and adapt your own style.